Change of Heart
Change of Heart
Chapter Eleven : Decisions
Road glanced about her dimension after Allen left for deeper sleep. She knew, as a Noah, that Innocence was her weakness. But now…now, as a person…a human being, she found her greatest weakness was Allen. She'd do anything for him—anything and everything. It made her wonder about the war, and why it was so important.
"Why are we even fighting this damn war?" She cursed slightly as Tyki opened the door.
"Oi, Road. I heard about your little…" Tyki stopped to cough awkwardly. "Umm…rendezvous, with Allen Walker the other night." He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly and set his top hat on a newly formed hat-rack.
If looks could kill, Tyki would be dead-on-site. Road's eyes had narrowed to a glare—someone had betrayed her. When she found that someone, they would end up looking like a finger-painting project gone awry…she'd make sure of it.
"Who told you…" It wasn't a question—it was a demand. Tyki shook his head and sat by Road. She sure was scary when she got ticked.
"I heard it through the grapevine. Let's leave it at that…but Road…" Tyki began, but was abruptly and rudely cut off by his niece.
"But what." She stated with a chill that could freeze anything.
"I told you…it can't work. I'm not trying to come down on you or anything, but…it's impossible." His expression grew saddened—as twisted as he was, he knew that love was a painful emotion. Not from his own experience, but from experiences of those around him.
Road's expression changed as well. Her glare softened, and his words seemed to depress her slightly. At this change, Tyki scooted a bit closer and put his hand on her shoulder, with the secret hope that he would get it back intact.
"B-but…" Road stammered. A part of her knew that Tyki was right, but she didn't want to admit it.
"But what, Road?" He asked, concerned.
"But I love him, Tyki…I love him…" She admitted quietly as she narrowed her eyes to prevent any further emotion from showing.
"I know. But you can't have both…and that's the problem. You want to hold on to both your family and your love…and you can't." He spoke in an equally quiet tone as he glanced at Road.
"Why not?" She asked as she wrung her hands in her lap.
"By nature, you two are polar opposites. It may be true that opposites attract, but what isn't said is that…for the two to attract…one has to give in. You can't hold on to this family…and Allen. I'm sorry, Road…" Tyki paused and took a deep breath and looked at his niece again, who raised her glance to him.
"But you have to choose." He stated as he stood up and headed for the door. Road quickly rose and followed him.
"But--Tyki!! I don't know, Tyki! I don't know what to do…who to choose…" She gripped his tailcoat somewhat desperately. She really didn't know what she was supposed to do, or why, for that matter.
Tyki looked at her with a saddened expression on his face.
"I'm sorry, Road…this is a decision you have to make on your own…I can't help you." He gently removed her hand and walked out of her dimension and closed the doors.
Moments after Tyki left, Road collapsed to her knees and clenched her hands into fists. She wanted to cry so badly…this was all so confusing. She felt a deep aching in her heart as she thought of her family, her relationships with all of them. She thought of Jasdebi and their antics, and Tyki, and LuLu Bell. She didn't want to lose them!
Then she thought of Allen. Dear, kind, gentle Allen. She thought of his smile, his voice, his personality. She could still feel the lingering warmth of his kiss on her lips. She put her fingers to her lips and felt the urge to cry once more. She didn't want to lose him, either…
Why did these decisions have to be so hard? She didn't understand…she couldn't. Family or love…? Love…or family?
"Wh-why…why do I have to choose?" She murmured before she covered her ears with her hands and curled into a ball as she sat on her knees. Her heart; her soul; the very core of her being ached with the knowledge that she would have to let go of one of the two things that was most precious to her.
"I don't know…I don't know…!" She whimpered. The only thing that bound her to her family was her genetics…she was only in the family because she had become a Noah. They were connected through their love for violence, blood, and suffering…but Road felt herself drifting from such things. She found that violence no longer amused her…that blood…didn't make her giggle. She also found that suffering…suffering no longer brought her pleasure. The bonds were slowly breaking between her and the other Noah, it seemed—bonds she thought would never break.
But Allen…she was bound to Allen in more ways than one, even if he didn't know it. Most importantly, they were bound at the heart—by the love they shared. They were bound by conflict—the war that raged between Noah and Exorcists. What he didn't know was that they were both bound through Mana, and his subsequent death. She hoped she'd never have to experience what he had to. She knew these bonds—bonds of tragedy, conflict, and love…while they may possibly fade away…she knew the memory of such bonds wouldn't vanish into thin air as momentary pleasures would.
Slowly, the fog of confusion faded, and, as the darkness gave way to morning, a single tear slipped down the Noah's cheek as she stood up and exited her dimension.
She had made her decision.