My heart is pounding and my voice catches in my throat. Am I really doing this? Do I want to do this?
What do you think?, my subconscious remarks. As I contemplate her words, I watch as Christian draws the curtains in his room and suddenly feel shy again. Yeah, I'm really doing this right now, and with Christian Fucking Grey. I watch as Christian approaches me and, I'm assuming, notices the anxiety etched across my face.
"Are you okay?", he says gently.
"Yes", I breathe. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because I want to", he grins.
"Is that all?"
"Maybe. Does that surprise you?"
"Nothing you do surprises me, anymore."
"Is that so?"
"You don't believe me?"
"No, I don't think I do."
"You're impossible, you know that?"
"Funny. My family says the same."
"Sounds like they love you", I reply sarcastically.
"Are you flirting with me, Miss Steele?"
"No", I lie smoothly. He looks at me and I can tell he's hiding his laugh. Suddenly, he reaches up and cups my face in his hands. My breath hitches at his touch and I'm unable to bring it back.
"You really wanna do this?", he asks softly and for a moment I wonder what he's talking about.
"I'm not trying to force you, but it angers me how those men have treated you in the past. I just want to make this right."
"Why?", I breathe.
"Because from my point of view, you're a woman that deserves it."
"You don't know me."
"I know you well enough."
"Is that so?", I tease.
"Now who's impossible?"
"Still you", I tease again. He gazes me as if he can't believe what I've said, then caresses my bottom lip with the tips of his fingers, catching me off-guard. How does he do that?
"Do you trust me?", he whispers, serious again, and I take a moment to find and catch my breath.
"Yes", I reply softly, although for a second I wonder if it's the truth.
"Good. Then we're on the same page." Before I can react, he kisses me softly and I fight back my moan as his lips fit perfectly onto mine. He moves his hand gently down my back, sending shivers down my spine before reaching the base of my spine and pulling me close. I gasp at the movement and look up in his eyes, which are regarding me as if seeing me for the first time.
"Just say no", he breathes and before I can stop myself, I nod slowly and he kisses me again. He pushes me against his body and a small moan emanates from the back of my throat. I feel him smirk against my lips but he continues again, running his fingers through my hair and holding me in place. Soon, his tongue glides past my lips and finds my own, and I struggle to meet his fervor, growing more excited as my tongue entwines with his own. He then backs me against the bed and I feel the edge hit the back of my legs. He pushes me gently and falls with me, causing us to land softly on the bed, his lips never leaving mine. When he pulls away, I'm left panting, wondering if it's too late to back down now.
"Don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you", he says softly.
"Since when?", I joke.
"Smart mouth", he grins. "Maybe I should put it to good use." I gasp at his request but before I can respond, he kisses me chastely and starts kissing his way down my body, savoring every inch against his lips. He then starts to tug at my shirt and I instinctively rise, giving him easier access as he lifts it above my head and tosses it on the floor, leaving me fully exposed as he does. I feel inclined to cover myself but as if sensing my impulses, he lightly takes my wrists and pins them on the sides of my head.
"Don't be shy. I want to see you."
"What if you don't like what you see?"
"I doubt it. You can trust me. I promise." As I gaze in his eyes, it looks like he means it. After a moment, I slowly nod and he kisses me again before releasing my wrists.
"Sit up", he orders gently and unhurriedly, I do as I'm told. He reaches behind me, watching my reaction, and I feel his long fingers undoing the hooks and sliding the straps down my shoulders. I watch the straps travel down and soon, they glide past my arms, taking my anxiety with them. Christian drops my bra on the floor beside my shirt and sits back to look at me again.
"Wow", he whispers and for a moment I wonder if this was a mistake.
"What do you think?", I ask timidly. Shit, this could go either way.
"I'm glad those fuckers are no longer in your life. You look beautiful, Ana. Fucking beautiful", he says, causing my mouth to pop open at his honesty. Is he honest?
"Really?", I question. I can hardly believe it.
"Really. I wished you had shown me these sooner. Don't ever let anyone try to tell me I'm wrong." Holy shit, he is serious. I smile shyly, unable to find the words to say.
"Do you still trust me?". I nod and watch as he lowers himself down and before I know it, he takes my nipple in his mouth and sucks...hard. I gasp at his assault but can't find myself to tell him to stop. My head falls back at the sensation as he sucks, bites, blows, and tugs on my nipple, causing it to harden in response. He then directs his attention towards the other one but twists the previous nipple between his thumb and forefinger, giving both of them equal consideration. I moan at the feel, thinking briefly if anyone's ever done this before.
Never.
Fuck. It feels so good.
"Shall I make you come this way?", he asks before gently biting on my nipple again.
"Please", I whimper because I don't want him to stop. I hear his chuckle and revel in the feel of his skilled lips and fingers, bringing me closer and closer to the edge. My legs begin to stiffen and all too soon, I arch my back as my climax overwhelms me, taking me further than I've ever known before. Christian bites my nipple one last time and then proceeds in removing my jeans. Once he tosses them on the floor, he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my panties and I lift my hips, making it easier for him to take them off. He carefully parts my legs and hums in approval at my clitoris...I think.
"It's okay", he says when he notices my expression and before I can protest, he inserts his middle finger inside me, twisting it around and stretching me further.
"Christian...", I groan and feel in amazement as he inserts another finger. All too soon, he removes them and I pout in rejection, before he leans down and circles his tongue on my clitoris.
"Holy fuck", I groan and buck my hips to take more of his assault. He swirls his tongue around and around, and I find myself twisting my fingers in his hair, pulling hard and watching him with his eyes closed and concentrating hard. Momentarily, my legs start shaking and I call out his name as my orgasm rips through me again. Catching my breath, Christian kisses my clitoris and rises, hastily removing his clothes and pulling his boxers to the floor. I look in astonishment at his impressive length, but not too long as he removes a condom from the back pocket of his jeans, rips open the packet, and slides it down his member. He lifts my hips slightly and I feel him slowly...too slowly...slide into me, making me grasp his arms at the feel. Once he adjusts, he looks at me with concern.
"You okay?", he pants.
"Yes", I reply breathless and if taking my cue, he starts to rock his hips. My mouth forms an inaudible gasp as he starts a steady pace, then moves quicker. And quicker.
"Christian, please", I beg.
"Shhh", he says, silencing me, and lowers himself down to kiss my neck. I wrap my arms around his neck and feel my legs shaking, knowing I'm close once again.
"Fuck", he hisses and it's my undoing. I call an unintelligible version of his name to the ceiling and soon relax underneath his weight. I watch as he stills and groan as he comes, collapsing on top of me and breathing hard. He rests his head on my chest and I run my fingers through his hair. Fuck. That was...
"You promise not to hide anymore?", he asks after a while and my brows furrow as he looks up at me.
"I don't think I should make promises with you, Mr. Grey. You have a tendency to catch me off-guard, after all."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, really", I giggle. "I think I've been in danger since the moment I met you."
"I'm pretty sure you got that the wrong way around."
"How so?"
"You really are unaware, aren't you?"
"Maybe", I shrug. He chuckles and softly kisses my breast, making me smile. Yeah, I could get used to this.
"Were you serious about what you said?", I enquire boldly, causing him to look at me in disbelief.
"About my smart mouth? Putting it to good use?"
"Is that an offer, Miss Steele?"
"You tell me."
"You really are an impossible woman", he says before pulling out of me, making me wince at his absence, and discards the condom in the wastebasket beside the bed. He lies down and rests his hands behind his head, silently giving me the consent that I want.
"Do your worst", he orders. Bring it on, Mr. Grey.
Bravely, I sit up and my gaze falls on his length. I lick my lips at the sight and hesitantly, I reach forward and firmly grip him, moving my hand at an unhurried pace.
"Shit", he huffs and I continue to move my hand, checking him to see if he wants me to stop. On impulse, I run my thumb over the tip and he looks as if he's in pain. Hastily, I remove my hand and check for confirmation.
"No, don't", he says and takes my hand and puts it back where it was. He holds my grip and move in-sync with my hand, showing me exactly how he wants to be touched. I flex my fingers and he releases me, allowing me permission to do as I wish. I watch his chest heave at every move and before I can stop myself, I lean down and take him in my mouth.
"Fuck, Ana", he mutters and his eyes fly open and I move my mouth further down, fighting back my gag once he hits the back of my throat. His chest starts heaving again and I move slightly faster as a reward. My tongue endures at the same pace and I force myself to keep going, shocked by my gallantry at a first-time experience.
"Ana, I'm gonna come", he warns but I ignore him, determined to tip him over the edge in relief.
"If you don't want to come, then stop now", he warns again but I continue to ignore him, focusing on my goal.
"Fuck, Ana", he calls and I soon feel a sticky substance shooting into my mouth. Swallowing quickly, I glance at Christian and he's panting, his chest rising and lowering with every breath he takes. Shit, did I go too far?
"Ana", he says strained and clears his throat to try again. "Is that a first for you?"
"Yes", I reply, feeling proud.
"Then don't hesitate to do that again", he says pleased, I think, by my move. I smile and stare down at my fingers, knotting and twisting them absentmindedly on my lap.
"Do you think we're official?", he questions.
"Official?"
"As a couple", he clarifies.
"Is that what we are?", I say, arching my brow to challenge his response.
"I know what you're doing, Miss Steele."
"It's called a 'conversation', Mr. Grey. I would think you knew that by now."
"Hmm, so that's what it's called."
"You're not too bright, you know that?"
"Neither are you."
"What?", I say appalled. I just gave you a fucking blowjob, for Christ's sake.
"You said that blowjob was your first one?"
"Yes."
"That figures. I thought you were inexperienced and that...", he says before taking a sharp intake of breath. "It could've been better."
"Oh, really? And you think you're an expert at oral?"
"Are you saying you were faking it?"
"Yes. Yes I was."
"Miss Steele, now I'm aghast at your comment."
"Good. You deserve it."
"And why is that?"
"You need a list?"
"Please."
"I think I'll pass."
"Why the swift change of heart?"
"Mr. Grey, I might have dealt with jerks in the past, but all of them were a better lover than you."
"And you think you're any better?"
"I know I am." He sits up and I can see humor gleaming in his eyes.
"Prove it, then." My mouth pops open but recovering my equilibrium, I push him backward and check his nightstand for any more condoms. Fortunately, I find one and rip the packet with my teeth.
"What are you going to do, Miss Steele?", he says amused.
"What you told me to do; proving you wrong", I remark and taking him in my hand, I position myself and curse to myself. Fuck. I really could get used to this.