Chapter 11

A/N : Sorry for the late update,RL and work are a pain,between posting NOTT and writing Orchard,there is little time left in the day. Yes,I will also try and post a xmas chapter for Bar Stop.

A special thank you to a special person for all the help.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of SyFy.

"Myka's birthday was a few days ago,if I recall right"

"Yesterday, as a matter of fact Hugo,why do you ask?"

"Ah,yes, the news media released her name to the public"

"They did WHAT?"

"I am sorry Helena, I thought you knew. Because Myka turned 18, an adult, they were allowed to release her name."

" This whole mess is all my doing, Hugo, I never meant for this to get so out hand. All I wanted...was her"

"Tell me, Helena, what words come to mind after you...um..took Myka's virginity from her.

Pride?

Satisfaction?

A feeling of being the conquering hero?"

"Are you Daft man?! How the bloody hell could you think it was some sort of perverted conquest? Some feather in my cap? My God, it was something special. A once in a lifetime moment to be cherished, not glorified as some trophy"

"So Helena, it was never your goal to take Myka?"

"NO!...are you deaf Hugo! I never wanted to hurt her, I….I...fell in love... with Myka, I would never do anything to cause her pain"

"Then, please, enlighten me, Helena"

We fell back on the bed, my two fingers still inside of her as we laid upon one another, Myka relaxed the tighten grip of her legs from around my waist as our bodies melded into one another. Her hand still tangled in my hair as I felt her body tensing under mine. Our lips danced across each others as we tried to still our breaths. Our eyes never removed from the other.

"I love you Helena" Myka whispered against my lips as her hips arched into my hand. Gently caressing her cheek, I traced down her neck,my fingers entwining around hers as we both caressed the chain and pendant around her neck. "And I love you, Myka" I started to gently removed my other fingers from inside, her moaning protests digging into my skin. "No, please don't" Myka whispered into my ear as her hand gripped harder against mine" I want to revel in this" I could not deny her pleads as I kissed her cheek." And I shall bow to your every wish Myka"

Her age was meaningless to me as we clung to one another, she was this intelligent, caring woman who had stolen my heart. " This is the best night of my life " I smiled at her as I started to get up, gently trying to pull my fingers out from her glorious warmth. "No ,please ….don't " Myka whispered "I am sorry Love, but we really should.." I felt her walls cling around my digits as I stopped. Her brow furrowed as I felt her hips rocking slowly in time to a song that was playing on her ipod. "Not yet" she whispered in my ear as Myka turned us both over, straddling my hips, her hands on either side of my head as she leaned in to brush her lips upon mine. Lowering her body onto mine,our passion erupting with each movement. I moaned out my desire as Myka lowered her body onto mine, our breast and hips melding into perfect unison. She gasped out in pain as she had pressed her hips further onto my hand.

Shaking me to my core, I rolled over, kissing the tears from her cheeks. "Myka, I am so sorry, I don't mean to hur…" she cut me off as those Moss green orbs glisten from her tears " I don't want to stop" she husked out, a strained smile forming on her face as she tried to hide her discomfort. I inhaled a sharp breath, feeling my chest tightening. Shaking my head to try and rid myself of thoughts long forgotten,or so I thought. My breaths were becoming ragged as I brushed a stray curl behind her ear, my hands trembling with thoughts of my past,of never wanting to cause any pain like I had felt. I was feeling light headed,the room was closing in on me as I sat up on the edge of the bed. It felt like the air was being ripped out of my lungs with every breath I took. "I need to stop" , the panic escaping out of my mouth, in a hoarse voice. The waves of anxiety were crashing over me, I felt myself drowning as I barely registered Myka moving behind me. She enveloped my whole being from behind as she whispered against my neck " Just breath, just concentrate on the rhythm of my breathing" , my whole body was shaking as a thin film of sweat covered my skin.

I let out a small whimper as I felt the warmth of her leave my body, Myka had moved out from behind me and was now leading us both toward the bathroom. Her arm,possessively wrapped around my waist as she was guiding me, never leaving from around my hips as she turned the water on. Myka's murmuring help to calm my shaking body as we laid in the warmth of the water, leaning against her body, her arms wrapped around me, I felt my panic quill under her soft humming. " You feel more relaxed ?, I was getting worried about you baby" Myka said as she kissed my shoulder.

I let Myka's hand, stroking my forehead, guide my head back to rest on her shoulder " Baby? do you just use a pet name with me?" I said, my voice still rough from my panic. " yes...um...is that okay?" I kissed her neck as I settled further into her arms. " I will have to think about that ...sweetie" We both chuckled as we settled in the warm water. I was matching her calming breaths as I laid my head back further, " Thank you Darling" I said as I kissed her neck. My lips lingered as Myka tilted her head to the side, " you're welcome" . I felt the reverberation from her words on my lips, our intertwined hands slipping down from my waist to rest upon my legs. I nipped at the soft spot between her jaw and ear as I released the grip of our hands. I reached up as our lips met, my hand cupping, then massaging the nap of her neck as our kiss deepened. We ended our kiss with the need for oxygen driving our mouths apart, causing our chests to heave for air in perfect unison, the feel of her harden nipples slipping up and down my back with each breath was a delicious distraction.

I started to wonder if Myka had meant to do this, her own way of channeling my panic in a different direction. I was shaken out of my thoughts with gentle bites to my shoulder and the feel of her legs relaxing against mine " feeling better?" she asked as her hand traced its way across my thigh. " Much" I responded against the silken skin of her neck. I felt Myka let out a shaky breath as her hand stilled just at the apex of my hip and thigh " Do you remember the first time we met?"

I placed my hand over her's giving it a gentle squeeze " Yes, I do, it was the Freshman dance, you had those glorious curls of your's bent over a book" Myka kissed my shoulder as her hand moved over my center " you asked me what I was reading, when I raised my eyes, I was dumbstruck " I let out a sigh as her hand started it's exploration of me " Dumb is a word that should be stricken, cast to the depths of hell and never to be uttered out of those lips" I sighed as Myka increased her rhythm " I wanted to tell you it was Shakespeare, I wanted to recite the sonnet to you, but I couldn't speak" I kissed and nipped at her neck " and now?" I barely managed to moan out

" Love is not love which alters when it is alteration finds,or bends with the remover to remove.

Oh no! it is an ever fined mark, that looks on Tempests and is never shaken…"

I shifted, as to try and clear my thoughts from her ministrations, to her words being spoken in a hushed tone next to my ear, but with each word she spoke, Myka increased her rhythm, It felt as though she was wanting me to feel every nuance of each word.

" Love's not time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle's compass come.

Love alters not with these brief hours and weeks, but bears it out, even to the edge of doom"

I would realize later how apropos that sonnet was, but' at the time I was too overwhelmed by the ecstasy of her spoken words mixed with our wantoning desires erupting into a euphoric wave. We both collapsed in to each other, finally finding some semblance of normal breaths. " That was the sonnet you were reading we our eyes met for the very first time?" Myka hummed an affirmation in my hair and then spoke " now you see why I could not speak, there you were, the only one who could possibly understand my passion for the written word. And I fumbled and stuttered and then Sam..." her voice trailing off. " Myka, my love, if I had any inkling of what would have transpired, I would have never, ever introduced you to him."

I felt her body stiffen against mine as she took in a deep breath " Helena...what was your...your first time like?" I could understand her wanting to change the subject, but not to a topic I did not wish to discuss. I got up out of the tub, still in silence as I dried us both off. Leading us back into the bedroom, I lifted up the sheets and slid in next to her as I settled her body next to mine. I kissed her curls as I hugged her " I want to thank you for ...helping with my panic attack" I felt Myka wrap an arm around my waist as she adjusted her body against mine, her leg snugging in between mine as we laid together. " when did you become so intune, I mean, how did you know how to settle down my panic?" I felt Myka shrug her shoulder as she nuzzled further into my body " My Dad, he.. when he would get drunk, he would yell at me, and Mom would step in between us, and then, one night, after a really bad fit, I found her in the back of the bookstore, sobbing, she couldn't catch her breath, she was shaking and sweating and I...I held her till she calmed down, after that, I read every book I could find on panic attacks and how I could help." I put my fingers under her chin as I tilted her head up, ours eyes meeting as I cleared my throat " I am very proud of you, how you have dealt with such adversity" our lips met in a knowing kiss, feeling the pain transferring from hers to mine. Myka's bottom lip quivered under mine as I wrapped my arms tighter around her body. " I suppose it would only be fair to answer your question" I sighed as I steeled myself for the story that I was going to tell.

" There is not much to say, I was 15 years old, he was the star goalie for our sister school, he had asked me out back in the spring. We dated for awhile, then one summer night, we were attending a party at a friends flat. We had had too much to drink." I sighed as I felt Myka squeezing closer to me. " One thing lead to another and...we ended up in the back of his Mini-Cooper. Just the thought of doing anything as personal as that in the back of car churned my stomach.." I felt Myka twitch, remembering back to that night Sam had tried the same thing on her. The first time we kissed in my flat. " Myka, I am sorry, I did not mean to bring up…" Myka pressed her head further into my shoulder as our fingers intertwined " its okay, please , go on" I kissed her head as I sighed, continuing my story.

"I was not as inebriated as he was, when he pushed himself on me, I tried to tell him no, but he insisted, not stopping till he was satisfied, the sickly stale taste of beer on his breath. I cried from the pain of it all and swore I would never inflict such degradation and pain on anyone."

A month later, I found myself with child, my parents shipped me off to my cousin's place in France." Myka lifted her head, kissing her way down my chest, she ran her fingers over my hips and stomach " No stretch marks, what.. did you?" I wiped away a tear and cleared my throat " I miscarried, my eldest cousin was going to adopt the baby as her own, but that never happened." I felt the warm tears rolling down from her cheeks onto my chest " Helena,I am so sorry,I had no idea" I kissed the top of her head as we held each other " I know love, it is something I choose not to dwell upon"

Myka raised herself on her one elbow,our legs still entwined " do you ever think about..I mean..would you ever..maybe want kids?" Myka asked as she wiped away the tears from my cheek with the pad of her thumb, I didn't answer as her thumb brushed over my bottom lip. I shrugged my shoulders in apathy, then I trapped her digit between my lips. Her hips rocked against mine as she let out the breath she was holding. With an understanding look in those Forest green eyes, she leaned in, laying soft kisses on my brow, leaving a moist trail down my neck, she sucked softly at my pulse point as her body slowly moved down mine.

She paid loving homage to each nipple, my back arching with each swipe of her tongue, my hand curled into her thick mane, my fingers scraping lightly on her scalpe as she kissed her down down my torso. I felt the coolness of the necklace and star against my skin as she moved lower down, her breath,warm against my folds, elicited a soft moan of approval from me. " Baby, I have never done this to you.. I...have dreamt about this moment…" I lifted her head so our eyes would meet " Myka, my love...you do not have to do this.." before I could finish, she kissed my center, her lips quivered a bit as she wrapped her arms around my thighs, with each press of her tongue, I moaned out my pleasure, my hand guiding her head until she came upon my bundle, " right there sweetie, please..your finger... need to feel you inside me" I managed to husk out. As her lips and tongue found a steady rhythm, I let out a gasp as her long,slender finger entered me. Myka's arm tighten around my thigh as I traced the shell of her ear with my thumb, my fingers tangling in her curls as I felt the slow burn inside of me turn into a roaring fire. I could no longer hold back as I ground my hips to the rhythm of her tongue and finger " one more, inside" I all but growled out. Myka moaned as I said that, the vibration against my nerves sent me over the edge.

I tugged and pulled Myka's hair , needing to feel her body against mine as my spams eased. We both held on to each other as our breathing slowed, I cradled her face in my palms as I let a soft moan upon tasting myself on her lips. She pulled back, resting her brow against mine " I love you, always and forever"