AN: So, I hemmed and hawed over this forever. Originally, I had a lot of things happening in chapter eleven, but they're all pretty important, so I decided to split them into three small (and I mean small) chapters. But they're all important, so don't let the size fool you. :) I also have the second one written already, so it'll be up quickly. As always, thanks to those who reviewed my last chapter, I especially love hearing your theories!

As soon as I started thinking again, back in my room, as the numbness was wearing off, I knew I didn't believe it. Not for a minute. If he really thought the plan was wrong, he would've told me. The Casper I knew would've wanted to work it out together. It wouldn't have made him distance himself from me like he had. No, that ws all his frustration at me. Well-deserved frustration for my failure. But I was still determined to try and make it right.

I knew he wouldn't come back and listen to me face to face - one thing I'd learned about Edward was that he was stubborn, once he picked a course, he would stick to it, even if it killed him. Or threatened his chances of an afterlife. But then again, I though with a pang, I, me, my incompetence, had been threatening his chances of an afterlife. He'd probably decided to give up on my as a hopeless case, and try again when we moved out.

But I wasn't a hopeless case, and I would prove it to him. He wouldn't talk to me, but there were other ways. I strode to my desk and pulled a pad of stationary from the drawer, ripping off the top piece. I grabbed a pen, sat down, and wrote. I wrote quickly, so I wouldn't have time to think about what I was putting down on the paper. I tried to let the words flow straight from my soul.

What I needed to say didn't take long, and soon it was finished. I left it on my desk as I went about the simple tasks I needed to complete to carry out my plan. He needed to see what I'd written.

Soon, though, I'd run out of tasks. I meticulously checked through my canvas shoulder bag one more time, but there wasn't much to take inventory of. Water bottle, keys, wallet. I scribbled a note for Renée, telling her I'd gone for a walk, picked up the letter on my desk, and walked out the door.

My feet knew the way, which was probably good, as my brain still wasn't functioning completely. I hoped it wasn't permanently broken. I woke up a little as I reached the little grocery store, and wound my way through the Wonderbread, the ice cream, and he Cheerios to the miniscule florists section at the back. The wasn't much to choose from. I found decent-looking bunch of white lilies, hoping she would like them. Then I made my way back to the roses. Again, there wasn't much selection. A few bunches of red and pink, but I didn't really want to go there. They seemed too romantic. And that wasn't what I was after at all. I might've wanted that, but I wasn't allowing myself to think of it.

And then, behind a cluster of slightly tired-looking roses the colour of blood, was a perfect bouquet of six yellow ones. Not a hint of wilt, and a perfect colour. I hoped it would say friendship, and, most importantly, I'm sorry.

When the cashier, a woman in her thirties with bleach-blonde hair who looked like she had far too much time on her hands, gave me a conspiratorial look. "These for your boyfriend?" she asked, wagging her eyebrows suggestively at the yellow roses.

"No." I replied curtly, probably more offended than necessary by her comments due to my wishes, and the events of this morning. And then I added, because I was in a bad mood and wanted her to squirm, "They're for my friend's grave, actually."

"Oh." she didn't know what to say to that, and I felt a brief pang of guilt, but I shook it off.

When I left the store, though, I found my feet just wouldn't take me where I wanted to go. Instead, I wandered the streets. I went past so many significant places. I never thought I'd make this many memories in this town, especially not in so short a time. But almost every corner, I saw something that brought a lump to my throat. The library where I'd first learned about him. The park where we'd sat so many mornings - it was still there, even if the benches had been replaced. The street where Edward had bought his paper every morning. It now held a dingy little strip mall and rows of bland, beige cookiecutter houses, but it was still the same street. As I walked, I was seeing ghosts everywhere. But never the one I wanted to see.

Finally, my feet, and my head, were ready to go where I'd initially planned, and I felt surprisingly calm as I walked under the low, wrought iron arch. I visited Elisabeth's headstone first, unwrapping the lilies and placing them on the grass above her. "These are from Edward," I whispered "I know he's always wanted to give them to you."

I was frozen there for a while longer - I couldn't say how much time passed, it could've been hours, minutes, or only seconds, before I tore my eyes away. I robotically removed the paper from the cluster of roses before turing to his grave, having to read the words "Edward Anthony Masen" in large, block type. It almost seemed to make what had happened this morning more real, and worse, seeing it there. I bent down and carefully placed the yellow flowers in front of the stone, and then positioned the paper I'd brought with me under them, so that, although it wouldn't be obvious to passers-by, he'd be able to see the words I'd written there:

Edward,

I'm sorry. So sorry. I messed up, I know, but I want to help you. Please, please, let me make it right. I want to help you, but I can't if you won't let me.

Please.

Bella.

So, that was short, and probably not terribly exciting, but necessary, and the next will be up soon. As I said, it's already written, so you know how to get it? Review!!! :D seriously, I love them, and it'll make me happy and want to post the next chapter. And, If I do say so myself, the next chapter, while also short, is very good. :D So, please review, thank you for reading, and, in the meantime, I'd love it if you checked out my other fic, When you get to keep an angel with you.

SkySong :D