Well, well, next chapter with both POV's, a chapter that materialized faster than I thought it would. Fav, follow, or review, and also, in the news section that may be not so pleasant, this story is coming to its end, still I don't know how many chapters it would take me, even though it's coming, in the meantime enjoy :)
Warnings: explicit content.
Destined
Carlos's POV
I'm not really sure how it feels to be in love, even when I feet pathetic looking for something similar in some books, or on school computers, and as each person experiences it in a different way, I just know that I'm really feeling it, I live it every time I think of him and smile like an idiot, every time when there is a touch of his skin against mine, with every kiss he gives me on my cheeks or on my lips, when he plays with my hair, when he looks at me, listens to me, touches me and makes me feel good when we are alone. Yup, I'm definitely in love with him.
"And… are you listening to me?".
I stop looking at the bus window and turn my attention to Ally, I thought my abstraction moment would last less than a couple of seconds, but since I see that we only have to pick up three more persons then I deduce I was distracted for more than five minutes, and I have no idea of all that I have missed.
"I'm sorry".
"That is not very impolite of you, Carlos".
"I know, I know, I'm sorry" I scratch my left collarbone and a feeling of fear floods me before I settle my uniform back, hiding the not-at-all-gentle bite Jay has left there for a couple of days now, and he knows my body takes time to heal in that way, as it usually happens with the bruises in training, "many things have happened lately and I'm distracted".
"What kind of things? I mean, if I can be intrusive".
"Jay, mom, stuff like that".
We pass close to my street and it's difficult not to see the imposing house that mom asked to be adapted for her needs, anyone who looks up can see it standing out among the others, and when I see that the curtain of her room closes it makes me think that she can actually feel my presence, that she knows when I'm close and that, if I'm not alert, she'll send Jasper and Horace to catch me like if I were one more of the animals with which she makes her clothes, although surely they already have that assigned task and they are too foolish to fulfill it.
I shrug my shoulders anyway, knowing she's been watching me.
"Are you and Jay all right?" she asks in a serious tone.
"Oh, yeah, everything is fine with us" «too fine actually, almost to the point where I can't believe it», I continue to myself.
I don't lie in that sense, for almost a week in which he told his dad about us everything has going too nice, I'm still trying to make a good impression for Mr. Jafar, as I have always done, but now with a highest bar that I must reach. The only thing that annoys Jay, because I see it reflected all over his face, are the occasions when I come training on my own, without keeping him company but him insisting too often on what I do then.
If only he knew… I bet he would be completely angry.
Ally doesn't make the attempt to resume the conversation, she actually starts to talk with the person in the seat next to ours, I have no idea who it is, but she does so since we picked up the last girl and we're going to the Prep. I don't feel good about keeping that secret with Jay, that or any other, and I'm too bad to keep them, although there hasn't been an opportunity for it to come out, and I hope there isn't one.
I scratch my collarbone again, not because it hurts or because it is itchy, it rather is like a reflex act, and settle my uniform, laughing under my breath because I'm sure that was his revenge for having left him with blue balls in that occasion that he gave me the most perfect gift that someone has ever given me in my life, and if I remember correctly is the only one I have ever received. I wanted to spend the night with him almost as much as him, I could assure more, but he decided to take it out that way, and I hope he still has the mark that I left on his right thigh.
I keep wondering what it is that I haven't given myself to Jay, it's not something I don't want to do because, dammit, from the first moment I saw him in training, the quite different amount of feelings that attacked me are still standing, the arousal I felt when I saw his uncovered arms, the baggyness of his tank top over his chest, his smile and the lines of his face that were uncovered for his tied hair is the most prominent, but now it ended up being sublimated in another way, in hugs, kisses, nonsense talks, whispers at night, fights in training, touching, and more.
Truth is that I'm afraid to end up sore as well as aphonic, that's why I couldn't give myself to him the first night that we were exposed, a stupid fear but that is partly understandable. I hate it because it's been many nights I'm about to fall sleep until I remember the shape of Jay's body when he's naked, every curve, muscle, area with hair and mole, the shape, thickness, color and stiffness of his penis, everything about him, and just thinking about that makes my tiredness to disappear so it becomes into a tingling sensation over my whole body and painful boners that I must attend effusively, and when I close my eyes I see myself in different postures with him while imaginarily we're having sex in various forms and postures, he taking control or I also sometimes.
Right now, when I have my backpack on my waist to hide what my thoughts produce in me and the bus enters to the school circuit, I realize the ache that the desire produces in my body, how much I want to be with Jay, knowing that he will be just as nervous as me but he will never stop kissing me, because he says he loves to do it, touching me delicately, look at me in the eyes and whisper that kind of thing that he only says in my ear. I admit that I never believed him when he said that he hadn't had some kind of relationship with someone because, come on, it's him after all, many people would throw themselves into his face without thinking, and from all those options he chose the pale, freckled, thin, and with scars, nerd.
I snort and walk down the small road that runs in front of the school, not remembering the moment I got off the bus and started walking along with the rest of my classmates to the building, without Ally at my side since she's talking with Jane, walking next to the statue of Ben's dad since it always changes shape when I pass by and I look at it out of the corner of my eye, as if it knows that it succeeds in scaring the hell out of me every time it does, and when I enter the main building I snort again, shrugged and holding the straps of my backpack.
I'm don't hate school, I really love being here, it's not difficult for me to get up early because I always do it for mom, I have a way to get here or I figure it out when I lose the bus, I have people I can talk to in the hallways and lunch, there are amazing teachers giving their classes, it's also another way not to be with mom around all day long, I just hate some students, Chad and his group of losers more directly.
I would really like to know if Dragon Hall's reputation is as how I've heard to be described by some of my classmates, with pipes dripping, about to fall down, students causing all kinds of fuss and suffering to those who are not quite adapted to their environment, maybe Diego would tell me more if he wasn't a douche and if he hadn't dropped out for believing that his band would achieve a resounding success from one morning to the next one. Besides, well, it would be nice to see Jay down the hallways, maybe attending similar classes, spending more time with Mal and Evie, meet the counterpart to what usually happens here.
I arrive at my locker to prepare what I need for the first class of my day, Chosen Themes in Philosophy, which should rather be called Nap Time since everyone falls asleep in there, and is understandable since it's a dense subject, I like it because it makes me realize the reality of some things, and the clashes with reality are very strong sometimes. I put the combination to open it and the first thing I can see is a small box placed evenly on my stack of books and notebooks, I take it and remove the small note that is at the top, reading what is written with the creepy handwriting that Jay uses to write.
Don't ask, just enjoy them ;) J.
The first question I have in mind is obvious, of course I ignore what he asked: how did he know the combination of my locker? When did he enter the building? How did he know what my locker was? Who helped him to do this? I'm still sleep?
I figure out that last one when I'm pushed against my locker, hitting my hip and biting my lip to keep myself from letting out the growl of pain. I don't have to turn around to find out who it is, he's been bothering me since the school year even started, and I'm not the only one who has this getting in his way, as long as Chad or the member of one of the sports teams walks down the hallways they take the one who is more unprepared as a victim, without retaliation because it's clear that a functional sports team is preferred to the welfare of others.
This kind of thing is not supposed to happen at Auradon Prep because it is Auradon Prep, but I suppose it's better pretend to be misunderstood.
"Asshole" I whisper loud enough to be heard while he walks away, though I must see him in a couple of classes anyway. I suppose he hates me because Jay preferred me, that if the rumor that Mal and Evie told me is true, which in fact seems like it by his way of acting against me.
I get into my first class of the day and, as usual, the place is neat, everyone is in their respective seats, they turn to talk to each other, they look at me with raised eyebrows but then they go back to what they were doing, I think the time of "everyone get on Carlos's nerves because he has a handsome boy by his side while the others have nothing" is over, and it still seems like yesterday when they put stupid notes inside my locker.
I take my place in the first row of seats, I put my elbows on the table and I support my face on my hands while I wait about two minutes until the bell rings and our teacher enters, a substitute for Maurice, Ben's maternal grandfather; this is quite an old man, in his sixties which get noticed from his gray hair, wrinkles and the skin falling here and there, but that doesn't take away the gentle smile on his face besides his good spirit.
"Good morning, students" he says, without the slightest introduction.
He turns around and starts writing on the chalkboard the title of a new theme, the beauty, the theme of the last pile of papers we should read, which Jay tried to read when he stole the homework from my hands since I wasn't paying attention to what he was telling me, and he knows that when I'm concentrated I get off from the world, before he ended up scratching his brain for not getting much of the subject. The mysterious man turns and before he can start with his class he's interrupted by Ben's dad entering through the door, Fairy Godmother behind him, weird if I consider that she's the headmistress of the school, and no doubt he's the most frightening man I have ever known, his magnificence is so great that no matter what scandal there is, with his presence there is a dead silence.
"Good morning to all of you" he greets us and we all stand up, firm with fear, "I'm only making an inspection of the substitute teacher today".
"I was about to start with my class".
"Okay, I won't interrupt then, Mr. Lawrence".
They shake hands, that tells me this is another relative of Belle or they're just a couple of old acquaintances, however they split and both he and Fairy Godmother go, leaving us at the mercy of the substitute teacher.
I like to raise my hand to take participation in almost all the classes, in this one not particularly since there have been times when they throw paper balls against my head when the teacher isn't looking, so I simply write down what is written on the chalkboard, making a movement with my head every time the chalk makes a chirping sound, and I remove the lid to the little box Jay gave me, finding a display of chocolates stuffed with strong kirsch, our favorites and the ones we have eaten while watching lots of movies.
There is no such a rule that forbids us from eating food during classes, in fact there are some teachers who tell us that we can do it to not get sleepy, so I stick to that rule and I take off the red metal wrapper of one of them to give it a bite and then I slide it inside my mouth, while I feel the chocolate melting there I think about how it is that I ended up taking classes for seniors, with their long and elegant names.
According to my academic records I have been considered as a brilliant boy since always, I really feel like I'm mixed with everyone else, without the need to be set ahead of them. I'm supposed to be enjoying my junior year entirely, not split in half between the duties of those who are about to leave for college and those who should still be here.
Of course I want to go to college, completely, there are proposals that are too tempting, I have the requirements for many, and the money to pay them, but I don't want to be the little brain that starts with less than eighteen years old to one of the major stages of his lifetime; it would be a change to everything I'm used to, a drastic change, and there is no guarantee that it will free me from my mother, she will surely follow me or enroll me in the schools she wants, to keep me close.
Decisions, decisions; future.
The end of school bells ring and I stop making nonsenses of drawings on the sheet that is supposed to have a note about what I just saw in class, which is not a problem since I can simply read a chapter from a book or ask about what happened all day since somehow I didn't realize that Math class was finished, one of the three classes that go according to my junior year and that I share with Ally and Jane, and that means I'm free, only for today.
Once again I went all day long in 'automatic mode', I jumped from one class to the other without being aware, from Health Sciences, Cybernetics and Computing, Text Analysis, Basic Notions in Latin, Anthropology, ending with Math, I'm not even sure if I ate anything in the two lunch periods, although my stomach doesn't growl like it usually does, and I wouldn't have eaten anyway since Jay's chocolates served to satisfy me.
It's pathetic to admit that I'm dizzy because I've eaten just a box of chocolates all day long, I don't usually do that since I share with Jay when the opportunity is given, besides the liquor they have is strong enough to make me feel light headed and also laughing at nonsense.
«Bad idea, bad idea», I internalize as I continue walking and stumbling.
I wish I could have chosen the classes I would take in the year, I can swear that I was assigned the ones which had the least demand on the part of the students after all my teachers signed the letter that gave me the opportunity to go ahead in the year, and they didn't even let me decide on that, they just did.
While I clean the cherry trail left at the corners of my lips for the last chocolate I bite I also look up, seeing that the whole world splits like a manifestation that is about to get controlled, and I see the tourney team members walking down the hallway, without Ben or someone else with a little bit of common sense in the head, sweeping away all those who stand in front of them, flirting with all the cheerleaders or clashing fists.
My unconscious and mild drunkenness make me stand in front of Chad, I try to move to the right but he moves with me, I try to do it to the other side and the same thing happens, he's back in front of me, so I finally walk towards the front, hitting my shoulder against his and causing the others to react. Since that is a direct aggression to his pride it doesn't take long before I feel his hands taking me by the shoulders and I can hardly stretch my arms to not hit my face directly against the lockers.
"Do you feel brave now that Jay isn't here?" he grunts behind my back, my cheek pressed against the row of lockers and, instead of quietly pleading for someone to help me, I burst out laughing with encouragement. I'm way too drunk, now I can admit it, and if any of the teachers notice it then I'll be doomed.
"You're just jealous because he's with me, and because I can touch every part of him without having to ask, unlike you who can only watch" he presses me more against the lockers, though that doesn't stop the whispers.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about".
"Oh, please, your heartbreaker facade is nothing compared to Jay's, he can have anyone at any time and for whatever length of time".
"True, and what difference you have to whoever that has been with him?".
I hadn't thought about that part, I'm really just saying the first thing coming to my mind, I don't give it a processing as it should, however I manage to release my right hand, I take him by the forearm and I spin him in one of the techniques of immobilization that we have learned, so fast that he doesn't have enough time to react when I punch him on the cheek, he falls on his back and he looks at me with fury burning behind his eyes, and before everything can follow Ally appears in front of me, she takes me by the shoulders to drag me down the hallways towards the exit of the school.
I really would have liked that fight.
"Are you insane?!" she shouts at me, her accent more pronounced.
"I can still get there to end up with what I did".
"Nothing like that, I'll drive you home right now".
One of the cars of her family enters the circuit of the school and parks in front of us, from the front comes a driver wearing a green top hat, a rather strange outfit and a huge gold pocket watch that sticks out between his clothes, he looks at it before letting out a laugh, hurrying his step to open the door so we can get safely into the car, he then goes back to his place and look at us in the rearview mirror before turning on the car, smiling with his huge front teeth and taking us wherever we're going.
I don't have what it takes to do my homework for the day, though it wouldn't be the first time I forget it, for some time ago my priorities have stopped being ordered in the proper way, and now that I'm slightly drunk and after having started a fight it's like if I cared much less.
"You know I don't live with my mother".
"I know it, I have Jay's address, I will leave you in his hands".
"Jay has big, rough hands" I place my head on her shoulder and close my eyelids a little, feeling like if everything that happened in these fifteen minutes hadn't been real, and I would believe so it if wasn't for the pain in my fist that goes through my whole arm, "they feel good when he moves them on my body".
"Carlos! Stop talking nonsense!".
"They're not nonsense, Ally" I draw faint circles over the back of her hand while I settle more on her shoulder. "He knows how I like to be touched, he has made me not to feel embarrassed by my scars, besides he hearts me, and I heart him, we both heart each other deeply".
"Sleep a little, we will be soon with him".
"I bet he likes you, not to me since I don't like girls, but you're a pretty girl, and he likes pretty girls, and he likes guys like me".
"He doesn't seem to have eyes for anyone but you".
"Yeah, and he loves to touch my naked body, he loves it!".
Her hand pats on my cheek, then it enters in my hair and she scratches with the tips of her fingers, just as Jay does and it has a sleeping effect on me, which is the last thing can I do before letting the car to take me towards him, to whom makes me feel safe, and whom today got me drunk from a distance.
Jay's POV
I know he's trying, a lot, because when he's near dad he gets anxious and tries to prove something, his efficiency or if he will do me good, some of those things but in order to prove something, and I guess I shouldn't have mentioned him the high expectations dad put on him because this would happen.
It was very difficult for me not to laugh in his face when he came to the apartment with his face flushed, his eyelids closing, slurring his words and dragging his feet, like if at any moment he was going to fall by the drunk state in which he was submerged because of some chocolates stuffed with kirsch; I didn't think his tolerance was so low, and neither that he was the horny drunk as his hands slipped under my shirt and almost into my pants, saying nonsenses against my neck and pressing himself against me.
I drop my head to the right and sigh when I see him playing with his toes, after another of his little naps and having eaten something hours ago.
"You know, we should break some rules".
"Oh, yeah? Like which ones?".
"Like going out for dinner" I suggest when the film becomes tedious and boring, monotonous to some extent and something he's also feeling since he hasn't stopped moving for forty-five minutes, the electronic clock under the television tells me so, it's not that I have being counting it.
"It's late, I don't think there are buses when we get back".
"We're taking the car, I drive" I lay on my right side to look at him, I see that he's surprised by what I said since he shrinks in his place, trying to hide in the blanket that has rolled in his body by his movements.
"It's not a good joke, Jay".
"Well, I'm not joking, I wanna have dinner with ya".
"But we would have a very serious problem with your dad if we do it, a very serious one, so much that I fear he will kick us both out of here".
I was about to tell him sharply that dad's not a maniac who would do such things but obviously I don't want to get into that, I'm not prepared to deal with the kind of wounds that can be opened if I approach that question of his life, instead I just sit up in the couch and take out the keys of the car, with which I was playing in the middle of the cushions, to make them clatter among them, drawing his attention once more.
"How did you know where he keeps them?".
"I'm something like a version of Tyrion Lannister except that much taller, without a surname that produces hatred in all who listen to it and that it needs a little more genius, the point is that I drink and I know things, only that in my case I train and I know things, though a drink wouldn't be so bad, the thing is dad would hide the keys of something quite important in the first place that he has at hand to not forget where he put them, which is the coat he always wears at work".
He stops listening to me because he starts to hum and fold the blanket, he does so slowly that it makes me angry, I relax with deep breaths because it's not the time to have an emotional outburst, like the one he already saw, one of those episodes of my life that I hope won't get to be repeated.
"I know he's getting used to the idea that we're dating, I can tell by his way of addressing both of us, that's why I don't want something like that to generate too much troubles".
"I'll deal with dad's fury, I promise, I just want ya to agree to have dinner with me tonight, that's the only thing I'll ask for before I come up with another rule we can break" he nibbles on his lower lip angrily, something that tells me he has already made the choice since a while ago. "Please".
He gave up to whatever his conscience was commanding him to do, he gave up because he puts on his socks and his favorite boots, I swallow the victory cry that was brewing in my throat while I stand up and run to my room for a jacket for each of us along with my wallet, a little bit of cologne on my neck and underneath my T-shirt, besides shoes since it's not a good idea to drive with bare feet.
I turn off all the lights when Carlos opens the door, the light of the corridor touches him with a kind of light that turns the angles of his face in shadows, so that he looks like a terrifying mask that looks at me with a penetrating look and the most tenuous of the smiles tightening the corners of his lips. I have chills to see him that way, also to know that I'm about to take dad's car without permission, but with knowledge to drive since it's not the first time I get in a car, Ben's dad has let us practice with his, so that we may be useful in the near future, more words or less words.
We both go down the stairs with a hurried pace and laughing softly, like if we had just committed a robbery or something similar, we left the building and keep going with the same hurried pace until we reached the car, somehow old for our times, a classic according to dad, and something that could be worse for Mal and Evie when they've seen it going down the streets, with dad and Joel inside.
"So, which is your freckled abs craves?" I stretch my hand to tickle him in the stomach, holding me from sliding it under his T-shirt to touch his muscles while I set the seat, the side mirrors and rearview mirror, as well as putting my shaky hands on the steering wheel.
"I leave it to you, you're driving anyway".
"Okay, because I know a great Japanese food place".
"I've never had Japanese food, just what I do at my house".
"Kutzumira will be then".
He arches his eyebrows when I say the name of the restaurant but he just settles back in his seat, fastening his seat belt and jumping when the car's engine roars when he turns on, then he takes a deep breath and turns on the radio, going through the stations until I force him to choose one when we began to move to leave the set of apartments.
He hums a few songs while we move slowly through the streets, not because I don't want to hit the accelerator, it's just that I don't want to produce him a cardiac arrest before we arrive, and the journey is less than fifteen minutes, the restaurant is at one side of the mall where I made an idiot of myself, and I still keep getting messages, photographs and everything else.
"Shit, a damn police car" I mutter when we stop at a traffic light and I have the other fucking car on my left, I cling to the wheel almost using my fingernails and curl up in my seat, thinking of something else.
Curious fact, until now I realize how terrified I am, more than him who comes humming nervously next to me, and to see that the law is to my left does nothing more than make me want to park in the next street, get out of the car and get there walking; now it doesn't seem like a bad plan at all.
"How was your day?" he asks out of nowhere, which makes me turn my neck to look at him with his head tilted in my direction, smiling quietly.
"It was very boring" I keep my eyes on him while I talk about something we mentioned in the apartment, "I was sleeping in almost all my classes, I think that's why sometimes I don't understand my notes or my homework".
"You know I'm willing to help you".
"And ya know I don't ask for help, I can do it alone".
On his face I see that the light of the traffic light turns green, I change the speed and step on the accelerator slightly, turning my eyes to the front and focused on the road that we must follow, since I don't want my nervousness to make us hit a tree or rolling a person, surely I wouldn't see the light of day nor driver's license in the near future if that happens.
"You couldn't do it alone now, you needed my help. We're gonna get caught".
"Talk to me and I can chill".
He moves quickly to kiss me on the cheek, he settles back in his seat again and starts telling me nonsense, again he starts with the trap I set to him with the chocolates, that's how he refers to it, this time he includes the moment when Ally saved him from being caught by a couple of teachers, and again he makes moves with his wrist, saying that he hit something.
I have the idea that, if he had a phone, I would have received pictures that weren't very modest throughout his alcoholic state, and I would have kept them deep in my brain and in my telephone so that no one else would see them, he has nothing to be ashamed of, he could even preach about his body.
The conversation gets interrupted when we arrive at one of the busiest avenues in the whole city, the one that I circle every day that I should go to school, and it changes to the two of us singing songs from the radio, he concentrates more on which are modern and are in the top 40, I know some but I focus on those that are more outdated, which corresponds to the time when dad and most adults of his age were younger, because I was born in the wrong musical, and that's just what I want to change, not having to live on the defensive of being able to walk with my arm on his shoulders.
We pass next to the mall and enter the parking lot of the food area, I park in front of our restaurant and we both get out of the car, I set the alarm on with the small remote control, I hasten my step to reach him in front of the main door, when we step in he holds on to my arm and look down at the floor with terror across his face, he pulls his legs as closer as possible to mine while I chuckle at his reaction, one that happens quite often among customers who come here for the first time since the floor is a gigantic tank where there are many fish and aquatic plants inside, which are there just to set the scene, not to be eaten.
"It won't break, I promise" I try to walk forward but he doesn't move, it's like if he had become in a statue out of fear, so I just place my arm over his shoulders and roll my eyes. "All right, one step at a time".
We both walk slowly, he's treading the exact places where I step, and when we finish the journey to get to the reception desk we are received by a tall and pretty girl, her brown hair is settled in a stylized hairstyle, she's wearing a brown kimono with white details that fit perfectly to her silhouette.
"L-Lonnie?" he asks, his voice barely audible.
"Carlos! It's so good to see you around here" the girl, Lonnie, looks up and moves toward him, wrapping him in a hug. «And so he dares to say that the girls throw themselves at me when they see me, you go hypocrite guy». "Welcome to Kutzumira, I'll be your waitress tonight" she leans to conclude her greeting, then she turns on her heel and walk steadily, we line up behind her while we continue to our table, and it seems that he forgot all about the tank since he walks like if the floor were made of solid concrete.
"I didn't know you worked here".
"Racial joke, I know, besides it's a part-time job, not all of us have a mother who is a millionaire and with a business as small as her own".
"You know I don't use her money unless it's necessary" he says, in a low voice, as he always does when his mother is mentioned.
"Of course, of course, that's true" Lonnie remains standing next to a table nearer to a koi fish pond and a waterfall that changes its color, Carlos sits next to me and she waits until the two of us take a look at the menu, he just clears his throat, closes his menu and smiles slightly when he puts his hands on it, letting me decide again.
"We'd like the teppanyaki griddle, a lemon soda would be fine for me" I close my menu and hand it over to her".
"Make them two" he says, taking part again.
"That's a very good choice" she says, writing down our order on a piece of paper, then she looks at both of us and smiles at me in specific, "uh, and I'm sorry for not asking your name before, Jay, it wasn't necessary".
"Oh, really? And how's that?" I lean back on my seat and put my arms behind my head, flexing them and smiling at her in the same way.
"You are well known among the tourney team in our school, in addition to what Carlos did today it became clearer who you are, and…".
"Thanks, Lonnie, we're both starving to death" he interrupts with a feigned smile and an aggressive tone of voice.
"Of course, your cook will come in an instant".
Neither of us says anything more for a couple of minutes, not even when our drinks arrive is enough for us to start a conversation, and it's not that I'm upset about whatever happened in the Prep and he didn't tell me, rather I'm taking his position to avoid eye contact and remain quiet.
When our cook arrives, dressed in blue and with a band on his forehead, he greets us the same way Lonnie did, he does a little show on the grill using fire and then he begins to prepare the food in front of us, he serves it on plates and gives them to us, we both eat with chopsticks until I look at him sideways while he's chewing a piece of lobster, the butter that accompanies it stays at the right corner of his mouth, I take it off with my thumb and look at him in the eyes, he just leans forward and kisses me on the nose.
Cool, the bad moment is in the past.
"It wasn't a big deal, really" he says while he sips a bowl of ramen and strips of pork. "Chad become a douche with me and let's just say that someone hit him on the cheek".
"You didn't use what we do in training, do ya?" I chew a strip of pork while I wait for his response.
"Of course not, I know the rules about that".
"Good, because Chad would be in the urgency room if ya did" he hits me on the arm with a laugh of satisfaction, then he returns to his lobster.
What we learn in training is as a personal defense in an event of life or death, and not even then, it's the last resort that we have, it's not something with which you should be playing, those had been the words that professor Joseph repeats to us in some trainings, during competitions, or in simple talks.
Our cook continues to serve plate after plate while he talks to us about trivial things, such as school, if we work or if we do something more of our lives, and between the squid dipped in its ink, steamed chicken, fried fish, pork in sweet and sour sauce and the second bowl of ramen is when he throws that question, if we are dating as a couple, and it's him who responds.
"We're engaged, though he hasn't given me my ring".
"I'm still working on it" I say, embarrassed to be evidenced as the future husband who doesn't make a marriage proposal as it should.
The pleasant talk diminishes as our appetite also does, we end up being just the two of us at the table, in a strange twist we get sink into a talk about our future, strange since the future plans I do are made by thinking about tomorrow, not on what I will be doing in five or ten years, unlike him with college and stuff like that. His aspirations are big, highly named and expensive schools with high academic requirement, while mine will be kept just like a dream by wanting to get in a school belonging to the Ivy League when my biggest aspiration is the nearest community college.
When we're both completely satisfied and I'm about to ask the bill there comes an extra plate, the dessert, along with a note that simply states It's on the house; what is lying there over the plate is a ball of fried dough covered with chocolate, I know what it is but Carlos touches it with a fork to lick the chocolate first, but he continues to poke it with more energy, like if he wondering if it will explode at some point.
"What is this?" he licks the chocolate again and attacks the helpless ball. "I don't want it to explode, today you decided to bring my good jacket".
"Take a piece of it already".
I take a knife and cut it decisively through its middle, immediately that the halves spread the inside is showed to us, fried vanilla ice cream, which has a specific name but which I can't remember now, and with the chocolate covered is delicious. It's like if Lonnie knew it would be his favorite, because it's obvious that a dessert on the house is her work.
The dessert doesn't last more than five minutes, I leave everything to him since I'm the one who is talking while he listens, and he uses that silent role to take one portion after another, after he removes the chocolate with his finger I ask for the bill and Lonnie gives it to us with a smile and a small plastic tray with two fortune cookies on top.
"Fake scoops, my favorites" he says, not keeping his argument since he reaches for one, breaks it in half, and keeps the paper in his hands as he chews, then he looks at me, with crumbs still on his lips.
"Let's see" I say, biting it directly and taking the paper from my mouth, I bite my lower lip when I finish and look at him just when he looks away, his cheeks flushed. "The great pleasure in life is to do what people say you can't do" I say aloud, then I hit my chest with my fist. "Sweet, now we're talking. And what about yours?".
"You have an attractive way of being. Hold it" he says, then he rolls his eyes and wrinkle the piece of paper, leaving it on the tray. "Such bullshit".
"I think both cookies are very right".
"That's because you're blindly in love with me".
"That's true too, good move".
He gives me a slight kick under the table, then he stretches his hand over the table and looks at me in the eyes, smiling sideways and with a little twinkle in his eyes, against which I can't resist since I also stretch out my hand and entwine our fingers firmly, I give him back the same stupid smile and the slight kick until our waitress arrives with the account, and I can almost see myself crying for having to deliver the last fifty bucks, forty-three of food and the rest as the tip for Lonnie, from my few savings invested in us since I still forbid him from paying for the least we do, although he's astute and there are times when he goes directly to the counter to pay.
We stand up and I bow for him to be the first one to leave our table, like a true gentleman, he hits me on the head, I hurry up to place my arm over his shoulders and walk to the exit of the restaurant, he holds his hand to my waist when we pass again over the tank with the fishes, and on the outside he slightly loses the force of his grip.
"That was the best dinner I've had so far" he says, closing the door on his side and sighing.
"I'm glad ya liked it" I kiss him on the lips and I barely finish setting the car's window down when my phone starts ringing, in a deafening way, like if I already heard whatever dad is going to tell me, because it's him who calls. "Well, it seems the good spirit is about to end".
I show him my phone and thanks to the light of the sign where we are I can see him as he pales, almost to the point of turning greenish, like if he were about to throw up the forty-three bucks we just ate, but he doesn't do it since he swallows in a sonorous way.
"I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so" his fingernails try to sink into the seat for the strength his fear makes his impose, which worsened when my phone starts ringing again. "You should pick it up".
"I'll be right back" I get out of the car and walk away a couple of meters, although if dad is as furious as I think then he'll hear him scream anyway.
I sit on the nearest sidewalk and wait for the call to get lost before I see the screen, he probably just got home and wonder where we are and what the heck happened to the car, sure Joel is living a part of the anger that governs him now, and I really think that maybe it wasn't a good idea to have going out in this way, besides that, if he doesn't kick him out of the apartment, I wouldn't be surprised to see my stuff thrown in the street.
When the vibration and the sound of a third call rings in the palm of my hand I let out a sigh of resignation before sliding my thumb over the screen and setting my phone against my right ear.
"H-hey, dad" I say, more nervous than I'd like to admit.
"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?! Seriously, tell me! What privileges do you think you enjoy to be doing whatever your fucking will wants?!".
That wasn't at all what I wanted to hear from him, I expected a little smoother talk before he went straight to the insults, but it seems that I'm stepping too much over the line, and I'm dragging Carlos with me.
"Dad, I…".
"You what?! Do you have a good explanation?! I'm all ears to hear the kind of stupid things you have in your defense".
He's right, I'm just looking for reasons to justify what I did, and there aren't, I just wanted to be selfish and have some fun, have a date with Carlos and be a good boyfriend, because that's what people do when they are dating, they do things for each other, but my motives are not going to tie again with dad's ideas, anything I say will be enough to justify with an act that would end up with me in the correctional facility and with him in the custody of his mad mother again.
"You surely think abusing the work I've done for a long time is enough, along with your rash, stupid and irrational behavior of every day, to just take my car and do who knows what!".
I was about to respond to that when, I have the words on the tip of my tongue, I realize that yeah, this is really about what I did, but since he already knows that I act this way all the time then he shouldn't take it so personally; it's something else this comes from, not something that Joel has done because he would have been directly involved with him.
Maybe it's something about the school, or our unknown mother.
"Dad".
"What the fuck do you want?!" I take a deep breath not to take his attitude.
"Is there any other reason why this I made has taken so great proportions and makes you talk to me like that?".
Silence, total silence, like if the sound had been taken off from the television, just as sudden and surprising as it happens on those occasions. I lift my head and see the air moving the leaves of the trees, I see people talking while they walk in the parking lot, the wind shakes my hair, I breathe nervously, all that happens but I don't hear it, and maybe it's because the other side of the line had became just as suddenly silent. I pull the phone away from my ear but I see the timer of the call that keeps running, then I bring it back to me when I finally hear his heavy breathing.
"I got fired from my job" he says, revealing what he's really feeling, sadness about the situation expressed in his contrary form, anger against me.
"Oh, well… shit" I say, not knowing what else to say.
"Jay, please, just come home, if something happens to you, the car, or Carlos, I won't have what it takes to cover the medical expenses, and if you end up in jail or something I swear I'll leave you in there, I won't have enough to pay your bail".
"We'll be okay, dad, I've been careful, we just came to the mall for a while, we'll be back in a moment" I look up and see Carlos walking towards me, his hands inside his jacket and a mist coming out of his nose because of the cold. "We'll do one more thing before returning, I promise".
"Just come back as soon as possible, and please don't fuck this up".
The call ends with that ultimatum, I feel satisfied not having made his anger exploded at the same time that I feel bad for having decided only for my interests, without thinking about others. We are scarce money, it's not something new since there always comes a time in our lives where that happens, there will be only a cut of expenses and look for alternatives to survive, same as always.
"Everything's fine?" he asks when he stands in front of me, I smile at him before standing up, put my arm around his shoulders and walk back to the car.
"All in order, we'll only do one more thing and our adventure will be over".
He sighs heavily before placing his head on my shoulder, he shrugs before giving me a kiss on the neck and returning to his place in the passenger seat, he fastens his belt and waits more excited for me to get in the car, this time he doesn't jump when the engine turns on and when we get to the main street, like if he simply decided to let himself go.
Good thing, he must maintain that state of mind.
Carlos's POV
Now that he told me what he talked to his dad I understand that his face is a bit serious, but I don't believe it at all since that little smile is still on his lips, determination is in his eyes, and I ask nothing at the moment when he takes a small detour near the street that takes us to the apartment, I just stay there while he parks in front of the sports center that is two streets away from his house, he turns off the engine and gets out of the car without giving me some explanation.
I assumed that letting go would bring me benefits, I know that one of them is in that place even if he doesn't tell me what it is, so I just step down the car in the moment the alarm goes on I hurry to reach him on the other side of the street and walk along the side of the place, our steps very light, stealthy.
"Ya know how to swim?" he asks out of nowhere, drawing my attention.
"Yeah, although I'm not the best".
"As long as ya don't drown I have no problem, because that's what we'll do before we get back".
We slip behind the line of light poles, I don't take his hand because the ground is somewhat irregular, although I would serve his strength as extra support, and even I'm giving slight stumbles because the light can't set the all the ground in light, however we hurry out step when we cross in front of the entrance, the sound of a surveillance camera makes me be more alert than before.
"This is bad" I whisper behind him, laughing nervously.
"I know, that makes it even better".
"But this could be considered private property irruption, right?".
"It could be, of course, but…" he pushes the door and it's like he said in a random conversation, it's really open and nobody's watching. I really like this neighborhood, it's like if it was planned for the night people to have some fun while nobody seems to care much what happens, not even if two guys sneak into the swimming pool at the sports center to swim for a while, "if the door is open then it's an invitation to come in".
I roll my eyes because it is a good argument even if I want to deny it, I raise my eyebrows more than necessary as a sign, then he holds my hand and run into the building, the external light helps us to not bump into trash bins, tables with pamphlets of the activities on offer here, nor with the vending machines for drinks and energy foods.
"Wait here" he says, his voice ringing all over the place before he lets me go, then he walks into some dark place while I stand, feeling a breeze blowing through the structure. It's a fairly wide but somewhat badly planned place, with what little I can see I distinguish that there is an extra floor on the other side of the pool while upwards the building extends several meters, as if they had forgotten that vertical constructions exist.
I kneel down to remove my shoes and socks, slowly approaching the edge of the pool, five steps away, to touch the water with my feet, cold enough to make me shiver all over my back and wrap myself in my jacket, almost turning around and getting out of here.
The lights go on under the water and almost make me jump up to the ceiling because of the loud and dull sound they generated, but only a few light up, the waves are drawn on my face thanks to the them and I just kneel again to see the movement of the water against my hand, it still feels like ice but it doesn't look so threatening anymore.
I've never taken swimming lessons, I really hope I don't drown.
I get up when something falls next to me, I turn my head to see a black shirt, the same one he was wearing, and I barely manage to take it when something else falls exactly in the same place, his pants, underwear, shoes, wallet, everything that he was wearing and in his pockets now falls. I lift my head to see him standing on a railing made of red metal, stretching his arms to the front before making the necessary jump forward to fall like an arrow into the water, splashing in his entrance, and if this were a competition that would remove him some points.
He comes to the surface and looks at me from where he is, the way he plays with his eyebrows speaks for him as he turns around and begins to swim in the lane, the naked skin all over his body sometimes coming out in the water before going down again, move forward a few meters and come out for air.
I let the air out before taking off my jacket and grabbing the hems of my shirt, I start to enlarge the mound of things that Jay left aside when I add mine, I do a little calisthenics to prevent some cramp and when I'm finished I sit on the edge of the pool before getting in, from there I immediately want to step out since the cold is total, so I just completely get down and support my feet in the wall to push myself forward, a little hurried until I reach him, I take him by the ankle when he passes by my side and pull him towards me, causing him to drown a little, the he recovers his breath with his head outside and start to throw water at me, I respond by doing the same.
Slowly we approach the edges of the pool, we follow the stifling game while there comes a point where I just let him splash me, I dive and I support my feet in the wall to push myself forward again, I take him by the waist, making him move back a couple of steps until I return to the surface, his hand caresses my cheek but I move it aside, arching my right eyebrow a little.
"I challenge you to a race" I suggest, knowing my fate if he accepts.
"You're so going down" the flame of competitiveness ignites in his eyes, the spark that always burns inside him.
The two of us come out the water to take more momentum, we both take a position of professionals, he counts to three and is the first to enter the water in a sublime way, almost without splashing; I stay there for a moment because who wouldn't want to see his body come in and out of the water, scattering by the lights underneath the water. I return to reality and jump into the water, making a mess before using the common style I've seen in the school competitions, crawling with movements of my legs, but three-quarters of the way I see him turn around at full speed, and as my fate is no other than being defeated I begin to float back, with my head outside and propelling myself with my legs, using my arms as balance.
"Told ya, you were going to lose" he says when we are at the initial end, he breathes agitated by the fatigue of a few minutes of competition.
"You're sportier than I am".
"True fact" he winks his right eye and smiles, I just roll my eyes.
I kick under the water while I watch him downing and returning to the surface in unequal times to breathe, like an amphibian, a creature that can be in both environments without any problem. I swim to the nearest edge to stay there, looking at the ceiling, the stars and the moon would serve as enough light so that we can be here, but I suppose he wanted more security for both of us, or if either of them does not return to the Surface due to fatigue.
I didn't think naked swimming at night would feel so good, though I bet it must be better on a river, nor think about the satisfaction of doing it in the ocean.
"I read somewhere that swimming at night is good for health" I say to break the silence that was interrupted by his splashes, he removes the hair from his face and looks at me closely.
"Oh, really?" he asks, swimming in my direction.
"Yeah, for circulation, also to relieve stress, especially when…".
I somehow manage to get him caught up in my words maybe because of the way I look into his eyes or that he pays attention to the nonsense that comes out of my mouth, truth is that I wanted to get his attention, but seeing that he places his back against the wall and gets abstracted in such a way that he doesn't notice when I put both of my arms to the sides of his head, I get on tiptoes to stop moving and I have to stretch my neck to stay at his height is gratifying.
The only thing I know afterwards is that I kiss him, the chlorine in the water is not the one I'm used to taste when we do this, although I push it aside when I put my hands between his wet hair and I take him by the neck, he places his hands on my waist and spins us into the water, he lifts me without much effort to place me on the edge of the pool, exposed to the cold air and without him accompanying me in this new height where I am.
"I like ya, Carlos, and a lot" he says when we pull away to breathe, I lean forward to press my forehead against his and smile when I see him in the eyes, pleased to see the same broad smile on his face, his hands hold on to my waist as I pull the strands of hair off his forehead.
His left hand passes to my back to move in circles, the right one enters in my hair and he delicately scratches with his nails while it moves throughout the length of my head, which makes me close my eyelids immediately and let out a deep sigh. He knows how much I like it when he does that.
We both opt for a silent vow to let our lips say what is necessary for now, when his tongue enters my mouth I hold it with my lips and make a small suction, I keep it until he shudders and retreats. He likes it when I do that, he has told me and he sighs every time it happens.
Slowly his left hand caresses my chest, moving from side to side with the palm extended and bristling my skin, from there he moves to my side, caressing the curve full of scars with the tips of his thick fingers, and finally he decides to take my displaced boner firmly, moving his hand in a sort of circular motion that makes me moan against his face.
I break our kiss when I press my forehead against his again, I take him by the cheeks and start moaning through the deep movements of his hands, I turn my head to kiss him under the jaw and get lose in his neck, I whisper inconsistencies with the only aim to feel how he shudders and how his hand loses the notion of what he does on me to find a way to react.
I hate to be sitting here, all I want is to slide between him and the wall, I want to know if he's as turned on as I am, I want to feel his hips pushing and retreating at a slow pace, causing from each friction to get me to shiver.
His lips meet with mine but he doesn't kiss me, they're only present there, channeling his warm breath against my mouth, the moans that accompany it, the trembling of my body, and even I seem to hear palpitations in my ears, although it is my accelerated heartbeat, plus that I can hear the affectionate words he whispers against my shoulder and make me contract my toes for the pleasant world where he has left us.
He kisses my neck with his mouth open, slowly biting and descending, using his free hand to caress everything that is at his reach through my back, when he reaches my stomach he kisses my navel, drawing a circle with his tongue and sliding it in, causing an aggressive contraction of my body. I can't remember when I closed my eyelids so tightly.
The pieces fit together at that moment, the location of his head down there, his right hand over me and the left one caressing my leg, the way his breathing is interspersed with the minimally audible nervous laughter, and before I can react to all of that he decides to draw a tempting circle with his tongue on the tip of my penis, he laughs slightly again and then he slides me completely inside his mouth, making the most sensitive part of my whole body to know a new type of warmth and humidity.
I bite my lower lip tightly, a groan combined with a squeal that gestates and is trapped inside my throat, my back arches (so that he chokes, by the impulse of my hips) and I clench my fists at the floor tiles, looking for a way to cling to reality and his actions.
A sigh of relaxation gets released from my body and that leaves me smiling for some reason, my skin comes alive by his hands caressing from my knees to my chest at the same time that his head moves, he goes up without taking me out and down to where he doesn't choke again, my moans begin to emerge from the slow movement he makes, the way he touches me and how special he makes me feel.
His hand finds one of mine and he entwines our fingers tightly, occasionally he descends until his nose gets sink slightly into my pubes and the wet brown tufts are caressing my waist, his tongue fiddles with my tip on the rare occasions when he takes me out and he laughs about it. I can't stop contracting my toes inside the water, my back hurts from how arched it is now, I never stop moaning in addition to whispering his name.
However, to all this and more, I don't stop feeling something inside me, a certain discomfort, something strange if I compare it with the way my body wants more of what Jay does, and I know that such a sensation is due to that, even when I'm enjoying the maximum of each moment from the beginning of the day, I don't want to be the only one to receive all that he gives me. I want this to be dynamic, for both of us, something in which I want to have a more active participation.
I want to give the same amount of enjoyment to him, and more as much as possible, that's why I clear my throat in an attempt, vain at first, to stop from moaning, which I achieve after a couple of attempts and deep moans.
"J-Jay?" I ask, interrupting his grunts, the exclamations that come out of my body, and the actions of both of us. When his mouth goes away I realize how magical it is besides how much I want him to continue.
"Ya close?" I stop the movements of his hand while the impulses I make with my hips also stop.
"N-no, it's not that, it r-rather is about…".
"Am I doing it wrong?" his tone shows that he feels ashamed indeed, as well as disappointed because I decided to stop him.
"It's not that either, and in fact I was about to" I argue, trying to deny what I said earlier in a not subtle attempt, "it's just that I want… uh, well, I wanna… you know, I wanna…".
"Ya wanna do me?" he asks, his voice relaxed and looking into my eyes, completely taking out what was inside my head but what was clogging because of my shyness and the hundreds of catastrophic thoughts.
I nod my head and I can feel the blush taking over even my ears, he just smiles before kissing me, pressing his whole face against mine while he comes out of the water and sits next to me, I immediately put my hand in his waist to slide it between his legs, noticing that he is as hard as I am, and I didn't believe something like that could happen under the water.
We move away to fall on our sides, I caress his own while I dedicate a little more attention to his shaped abs until I focus on the prominent erection that I have in front of me, I take it with a bit of firmness and I lick my lips when I feel that it pulses between my fingers and gives small bounces, without some kind of meditation I place it my mouth, then I begin to move my head at a speed and in an unbridled way, feeling how his whole body shrinks and he lets out a nervous laugh.
"Hey, hey, e-easy" he says, causing me to stop and look into his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, so there's n-no need to rush it, t-today we'll do whatever your will is".
Actually it's his will, it's not like he did let me choose for it, and of course my answer is automatic, my defense to tell him that we are in a public place, exposed both by the fact of swimming with nothing on top of us as by the lights that are on, but it actually is like if the world had stopped for the needed time for this opportunity, one that I don't know when it will happen again and when I will let myself go once more.
We return to our work, now I do it slowly, this time I cover my teeth with my lips and empty my cheeks, making it slide between them. His tip touches the top of my mouth and his body begins to tremble, entering in my throat until I must move the head a little back.
He lets out a long sigh, similar to the one I exhaled at first to all this while I'm accompanying the inexperienced movements of my head with my hand to increase all that he feels now, all those feelings so extremely pleasurable, and I achieve it since his hips look to boost in a reiterated way at the same time that it seems desperate for a little more of me, to feel everything that I was keeping and now I share with him.
The taste, slightly salty, floods my mouth, feeling as it enters almost to the back of my throat and comes about to leave my mouth completely makes me breathe hard, drowning moans against his firmness and feeling how his dick pulsates in my mouth, I enjoy to the maximum the sensation of the veins against my tongue and how that, along with all the other things, causes my body to beg for more of him, and for wanting more of what he does with me here and at all times, from talking to me in those long conversations at night or by just being there.
I move my head completely and let out a ragged breath against him, before kissing a descending path, where I begin to lick and suck the point where his legs are joined, another act that makes him release a long sigh in addition to a grunt that is cut through my dick in his mouth.
"T-that feels v-very g-good, C-Carlos…" he whispers when I pull away and move his hand faster. Hearing his voice so shaking in combination with his panting and my name makes me smile broadly.
I don't give him any other signal besides my tongue and my lips when I take his right ball and suck it inside my mouth, I close my eyelids while I play with it with the tip of my tongue while I give tempting bites just to feel how he jumps and growls sonorously, also he rewards me by touching my tip with his tongue, my thighs, my hip and also my ball sack, licking and doing the same but in greater intensity when I take the left one to give it the same deal that surely it didn't expect to live tonight.
I feel surprised by the kind of things we are doing with the high risk of being caught, the adrenaline drives me to keep going, but I'm more surprised at what I am doing because, if I'm honest with myself, I'm not the kind of boy who goes around looking for trouble, besides I would never have imagined myself at Jay's side, taking his hand or receiving affection from him in such a free way, in the eyes of everyone, because I didn't think that someone like him could look at someone like me, and it surprises me even more that Jay and I are in such a great synchrony, combined with the swift way we connected, like if we were meant for each other, and that it was only necessary that something between us happened so we could be together once and for all.
I guess we were destined.
I go downer in the path I make with my lips to the point where his strong legs are joined, which makes him reluctant because he gets somewhat stiff and his breathing is stirred a little more, because of fear and uncertainty of what I will do, not because of the situation around us.
Bliss or misery, the fact that we are both first-timers, I don't know what I can really assign and blame this to, all I know is that my whole body is at its limit when I find the depth of his throat at such a sensitive spot, the quick movements of his hand make me feel tickles at my waist before I resume his dick in my mouth, bringing him with me.
I don't have the opportunity to warn him when the first cumshot arrives, I close my eyelids firmly as my hips thrust against his face to seek more warmth and moisture of his mouth as more and more continues to come out of me, I hear him swallow sonorously while his tongue plays with my sensitive tip; Jay puts a hand on my waist so I don't pull away, he huffs and I don't have a warning when he enters the same state of ecstasy, suffocating me when it touches my throat and filling my mouth with him, which I have to swallow to continue receiving another little of his five loaded shots, and fuck that he tastes good.
We both sat up slowly, panting and equally agitated by what just happened here, I take a deep breath before rushing towards him to kiss him full, he takes me by the nape before he goes on his back and we fall into the water, slowly drowning to the bottom while my legs surround his waist, my hands get into his hair while I can only think of the pressure of his chest against mine, the water seeping into our mouths and threatening to kill us right here if we don't end with this, his lips and the new taste they have, me in his and him in mine, but I simply don't want this night to come to an end, I don't want any of this to be a memory.
I would do my best to stay here, with him.
Finally it's he who runs out of breath first, he takes me by the waist before pushing up with his legs so that we go out to catch our breath, he takes large puffs of air before looking into my eyes, press his forehead against mine and outline one of those broad smiles that have a contagious effect since I do the same before placing my head on his shoulder and surround him with my arms.
"I'm still wondering what effect ya have on me" he says in a low, almost purring voice.
"Don't ask about it, just live it" I say, sounding more serious than I thought I would. I move away to look at him in the eyes, he has an arched eyebrow and that cocky smile of all the time, then he moves forward to kiss my cheek, and even when I want to go back to the bottom of the pool while he kisses me I place a hand on his forehead, "and I really think we should go back".
"Let's go back then" he doesn't lose his smile, so he knows it's a good decision and for the sake of both of us, plus I don't want to have hypothermia.
We come out the water, leaving our clothes soaking wet when we get dressed, luckily our jackets are kept intact and warm, he's responsible for turning off the lights as if they were the flames of a candle that are extinguished with a blow, we leave the building like if we were leaving the apartment just like how we did it a couple of hours ago to go to the car, he turns it on and we get in the main street.
When we enter to the apartment everything is sepulcrally silent, there is something on the table for us to eat but neither of us is hungry, we just change our clothes to sleep, I brush my teeth and wash my face before accompanying him in the room, because his head touched the pillow and immediately he fell into the deepest sleep I had ever witnessed.
Today is the first night that I go to him to sleep next to him, I press myself against him until he surrounds me with his arms, he sinks his nose in my hair and gives me a kiss; my idiotic smile lingers until I close my eyelids as the silenced words cling to my head with assertiveness.
I just don't like Jay any more, today is the night when I confirm that I love him.