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It's not what you think...

I was beginning to wonder how many sleepless nights a person could have. And I was also wondering how many times I could skip school without being in big trouble, because I laid out again. I didn't want to face Seth until I had to. I didn't even want to then. So once again, I spent my day sleeping, and I had eaten only enough food to survive in the past week. I could tell, too. Any little bit of fat that I may have had was gone... It looked good, but really, I didn't care.

I woke up about an hour before practice, and decided to get some real food. I was going to end up in the hospital if i kept this up. I walked down o the cafeteria, picked up some of the pizza that was served for lunch today, and headed over to Adrian's to talk, but he wasn't there. He did leave a note though.

Little Dhampir, sorry I wasn't here, but I had to go to dinner with a royal that my 'favorite' aunt sent down. I knew you would stop by, and you're free to go in if you like, but sadly, I will not be in there. Love, the one and only Adrian.

Great. Lunch by myself, again. Oh well, I hurried up and ate on my way back to my room, so when I got there I changed and headed down to the gym. There wasn't a class in there, and I still had thirty minutes, so I decided to stretch so I would be ahead when Seth got here. And..I sorta wanted to do the stretches that Dimitri taught me, so there was that.

The whole time i was stretching, and even after, while I waited, I felt strange. Something wasn't right...Somebody was here. Classes had just ended, I guess some kid could be lurking around. But My gut thought differently.

"Seth, get out here. Stop it, ok?" I said, even though I didn't expect him to answer.

Strangely enough, Seth walked onto the floor, already dressed. That feeling didn't go away though.

"How'd you see me?" He asked. I shrugged, and pulled out the matt.

"We're fighting today?"

"Yeah, might as well." I told him, and he started stretching. When he finished, he got up against me, in his starting stance, and then said,

"Can you let me beat you today? I want to try something...You'll see." I gave him a confused look.

"Why?"

"Because. Just please, it's important." I shrugged again, now curious of what was going on.

"Ready?" He asked. I nodded, and got in my stance, not really sure of what was about to happen.

We fought for a few minutes, me putting up enough fight to make him work to beat me, but I finally let him pin me.

When he had straddled me, and pinned my arms back, he didn't make any dirty comment like thought he would. he looked me dead in the eye, and asked

"What was that last night?"

With out thinking to get up, I looked away.

"No, answer me. I haven't known you for long, but I know that was out of character.

"Well, Seth, I'm going through alot right now." was all I said. He leaned in closer, and my stomach was feeling weird, but once again I didn't think of getting up.

"So it wasn't because of seeing me with her upset you?"

"No!" I didn't bother explaining anymore than that. I might have well as said yes, though, because that's what he heard, even though it wasn't true.

"I knew it. You like me.." he smiled.

"Seth, no, listen," but I couldn't finish, because his lips had shut mine up.

At first I struggled. Then when that did no good, I just sat there, waiting for him to finish. Was I feeling anything? Well, he was a good kisser, but I have had better. But Really, it wasn't him who was kissing me. In my mind, it was Dimitri.

And thats what caused me to be stupid and do what I did next. I kissed him back. I wasn't kissing Seth, I was kissing Dimitri. Every part of me wanted that to be Dimitri...so it convinced my brain it was. No, he wasn't as big, or had as long of hair, of he didn't have that passion that Dimitri had, but for now, my mind was satisfied. So, i sat there unknowingly kissing Seth, while somebody else was seeing a whole other story.

Someones throat cleared. I immediately freaked out, thinking that me and Dimitri had been busted. But when I opened my eyes, Seth was glowering at some one behind us. And thats when I half shrieked and threw Seth off of me.

"What the hell was that!" I shouted. "Why would you do that! Dear God, I'm going to kill you."

"You kissed back!" He said, bringing his eyes off the person who interrupted back to me.

"Because my mind convinced me you were someone else!"

"Ha, lie all you want." was all he said. Then I remembered someone was watching and I turned to see who it was.

And immediately started crying.

"It's not what you think! He kissed me...and...my god..please.."

I saw hurt in his face, that was for sure. But I didn't know why. Like I said, I was going crazy, and I guess that explained my next move. I got up, and ran to where Dimitri was standing, and threw myself at him. He caught me, but stood me upright.

"What...What are you doing here?" I said, my knees to weak to hold up any longer, as I fell to the floor. Dimitri helped me up, and led me out of the gym, mumbling to quiet for me to hear barely anything.

"Roza.." Was all I picked up, but i know I heard him wrong.

"Please! Tell me...why are you here.." His silence made me cry harder, and I can't believe I was acting like this. Dimitri led me to my dorm, laid me on my bed, and walked across the room before he said anything.

"What have you done to yourself?" He asked me.

"I...I don't know. You s-s-still haven't answered me." I sputtered out.

"Because I don't really know for myself."

"Why? Why do this to me? Why come, and then be here, while I'm dying inside?" I demanded.

"You're not dying inside. No from the looks of what you were doing with that boy." When he said boy, his voice was heavily lace with his Russian accent, and disgust.

"Dimitri, he kissed me! I don't even like him! But my mind...it wanted him to be...to be you. So I convinced myself that it was you I was kissing! But I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have.." Why was I apologizing? I hadn't cheated on him...he left me. But I was just in so much shock that Dimitri...real life Dimitri...was here. or was this real? I had to know. I got of the bed, and ran over to him.

At first he stepped back. "You're not really here. This is me imagining things again...Why would you really come back? you don't want me.." I was talking to myself.

Then I decided to see if he was thin air or not. I tried running my hand through him, but his chest was solid. So maybe he really was here? I didn't believe it.

"Haha...God I'm insane!" I shouted, and then kicked my bed post.

"Rose, calm down. I really am here, you're not crazy." He told me in a voice that was trying not to be soothing.

"Yes I am. I haven't slept, or eaten much, and I've imagined you before, so why can't I be now?"

"I promise, I'm here. Why is this so hard to believe?" He asked, sounding hurt.

"Well, if it really is you, why should I believe it? The things you said when you left... The cold looks... You don't want me, remember? There isn't a reason for you to be here. You left me."

This time, Dimitri didn't get all puffed up. He walked over to my bed, and sat down on it, and put his head in his hands.

"Rose, people do stupid things. You've done them. I've done them. I can't believe that I did some of them,, but I still did them."

"Dimitri, what are you trying to say? Please, don't do this to me." I begged

"Oh...Roza...I'm so sorry..." Was he crying? Was her really crying? Why?

"Dimitri, what's wrong?" I asked, not quite getting everything.

"Rose, I shouldn't have left. This has been the worst week of my life. I didn't have anywhere to go, and the whole time I was gone, all I thought about was you. I don't expect you to take me back. I was to awful to you. I have put you through almost as much hell as I've been through. But I want you to know that I would take it al back. I didn't mean a thing of the horrible things I said. I tried to make my self believe those things, but when it comes down to it, your all I've got. Life without you is my living hell Rose. And it took me leaving to figure out that I couldn't live with out you. I couldn't bring myself to wait one more day..and I know I'm being so selfish, but I just don't want to go on without you. I love you, Roza...I'll never love again..and Promise i will never lie, leave, or hurt you in any way again...I'm sorry..."

And then Dimitri cried. He didn't just hiccup. It wasn't a few sniffles. He cried, and I felt bad for him. He clearly felt as bad as I did.

But I just didn't know how to react.

HA(: I know you guys love me...but hate me for leaving it like that:) Now we have a story! well, what do you guys think? Please review, and remember i love you:)
-taylor(: