A/N:
Thanks to everyone who reviewed.
A random person, I added the convo in XD
"Why Squirrelflight why!" Shrewpaw screeched.
Bugeater padded over to where the two cats were fighting just outside the camp.
"Because, Brambleclaw is my true love, and he asked me to be with him again, and of course I said yes," Squirrelflight meowed.
"But you were with me now! You can't just toss me aside like you think I belong in the dirt pile!"
"I'm sorry, but I love Brambleclaw," she meowed softly, before asking, "you're not going to go all Trashfur on me are you?"
"You crushed my heart Squirrelflight! Just the way the monster crushed me!" Shrewpaw wailed, before racing away.
Bugeater stood there, wondering if he should go after him. He knew he should, in case he decided to do anything drastic.
After Squirrelflight pushed past him back into the camp, he started making his way off into the direction where Shrewpaw had run off to.
Where he is? He asked himself, as he looked around, he couldn't see the cat anywhere!
He started looking under the bushes, and up in the trees.
"Ow!" he exclaimed, when a thorn poked him in the nose as he continued to search for Shrewpaw.
He let out a gasp, suddenly remembering that he had a nose, and that he could just scent out Shrewpaw.
He lifted his head, and opened his mouth, drawing in all the scents around him, trying to catch wind of his clanmate's.
No, not his clanmate, even though he was currently living with ThunderClan, he was still a WindClan cat.
He finally got Shrewpaw's scent, and followed it until he reached a fox den.
"Oh no," he groaned, hoping that in his grief, the other cat hadn't decided to sacrifice himself to some foxes.
To his relief, the scent of fox was very stale, he could barely smell it over Shrewpaw's scent, and another scent, which smelled a lot like Ashfur.
He made his way into the den, and saw Shrewpaw sitting there, staring at a picture of Squirrelflight, that looked to be made out of her fur.
As he got closer, he saw that thorns were sticking in the fur-made picture.
"Wow, you sure put this together fast!"
Shrewpaw jumped, and spun around to face him.
"What are you doing here?" Ashfur asked, padding over to him. Bugeater bristled slightly, he hadn't even noticed he was there.
"I saw the fight between Squirrelflight and Shrewpaw, and I wanted to make sure he was okay."
Ashfur picked up a thorn, and threw it at the picture of Squirrelflight.
"I can't believe she didn't learn her lesson the first time about toying around with hearts," he spat.
"Well, you know, Squirrelflight isn't the only she-cat in the forest."
"You're right!" Shrewpaw exclaimed, jumping up, "I can go be mates with Whitewing!"
"Um, Whitewing is with Birchfall."
"BIRCHFALL? BIRCHFALL?" Shrewpaw yowled, throwing his head back.
"Yeah, they have two kits together," Bugeater meowed.
"Ahh! I hate Birchfall! He's trying to be me!" Shrewpaw growled, stomping around the den, causing the dust to fly up.
"You know, he used to be grey, but then he dyed his fur light brown, like MINE, now he's with Whitewing? The cat who sat vigil for me when my own stupid littermate didn't!"
"Wow Shrewpaw, I remember you being a lot nicer, dying sure has made you bitter," Ashfur meowed.
"So were you before Squirrelflight broke your heart," Shrewpaw pointed out.
"That's true, you know, we should form our own clan for cats whose hearts Squirrelflight broke!" Ashfur exclaimed.
"Yeah!" Shrewpaw exclaimed.
Both of the cats then turned to him.
"Did Squirrelflight break your heart?" they asked in unison.
He shook his head, as if he'd ever be mates with anyone outside his clan.
"Then you can't be here, get out," Ashfur meowed.
"Whatever," Bugeater sighed, padding out of the den, leaving the two mouse-brains to work on their new clan alone.
"It's going to be perfect Darkstripe, I'm going to dye my fur red, and then borrow Ashfur's green contacts, and then I will be Firestar!" Tigerstar exclaimed.
"Red?" Darkstripe asked with his brow raised.
"Yes, Firestar is obviously red."
"I thought he was orange though," Darkstripe muttered.
"No! He's red!" Tigerstar spat, how dare Darkstripe try to tell him what colour Firestar was, he saw that wretched life-ruining kittypet in his nightmares, of course he'd know what colour he is.
"In Firestar's Quest it-"
"Don't care!" Tigerstar spat, cutting him off. He felt even more angry now, why did Firestar get a story written about him? What made that kittypet so great?
"Okaaay," Darkstripe meowed, backing up with his eyes opened wide.
"He's an orange short-hair, he's shown as a tabby in Firestar's Quest," a random cat meowed.
"Who are you?" Tigerstar asked, turning to glare at the cat.
"Fox dung," the cat hissed, attempting to hide behind Scourge.
"So, about the colour of Firestar's pelt..." Darkstripe meowed.
"Ugh, get a life, Darkstripe," Scourge groaned, rolling his eyes.
The random cat popped up from behind Scourge.
"Oooh," he meowed.
"Ugh!" Darkstripe jumped to his paws, "We're getting a divorce Scourge!"
"We can't get a divorce, we're not even married yet!"
"Well, once we get married, we're getting a divorce!"
"Wait a minute, why are you planning on being Firestar? It's been moons since you killed him, surely his clan knows he's dead by now," Princess meowed suspiciously.
"Uhhh," Tigerstar tried to think of an excuse. Luckily, he was saved when Hawkfrost padded in with Mudclaw.
"So, I heard you're not going to get married, does that mean that I can wear your dress when Mudclaw and I get married?" he asked Darkstripe.
"No! I get to wear the dress!" Mudclaw spat.
"But I'm prettier," Hawkfrost protested.
"No son of the great and powerful Tigerstar is going to wear a dress!" Tigerstar thundered.
Every cat fell silent.
"Only I can wear a dress to the weddings," he continued.
"But you're not the one getting married," Mudclaw meowed with his fur bristling.
"ONLY I CAN WEAR A DRESS!" Tigerstar screeched, so loudly that it blew all of Mudclaw's fur off.
"I'm hungry, let's go steal all of BlunderClan's food," Snipe groaned.
"Can't you see we're having a serious discussion here?" Tigerstar spat.
"Yeah, besides, ThunderClan doesn't have much food, the prey isn't running much in any of the territories because of the drought," Mudclaw meowed.
"Well, they will have a lot of food once I'm leader," Tigerstar meowed.
"How?" Darkstripe asked.
Tigerstar threw back his head, and started laughing maniacally. When he finally stopped, he looked at Darkstripe and meowed.
"Soylent Green."