Kakashi woke up sweating for the third time that week with the memory of blue eyes fading too rapidly to keep up with the morning chill. He threw off his blanket and got into the shower. His body woke up slowly, and protested the quick temperature changes as Kakashi got in and out of the water in under five minutes. He brushed back his hair and gave himself a long hard look in the mirror.
"You idiot." His scarred reflection offered him a crooked grin. Kakashi shook his head and started his day.
It could have been far far worse. If Kakashi had to be- well if he had to have such an... infatuation with someone then Naruto was a good choice. Naruto was nice, and he was young, and he probably wouldn't ever think to think of Kakashi like that. If he was half as dense as Obito had been-
He shook off that thought and went to the kitchen and threw open the cabinets looking for a clean coffee mug. He had mugs, plural now. Thanks to Naruto. He found one in the wrong cabinet above the sink and decided that being late to work was worth having real coffee instead of the instant stuff. He sat down and waited.
His entire house reminded him of Naruto now, with the red and the couch. Which was a problem.
After the festival last week Naruto had vanished. No texts or calls. And Yamato after a couple days had excused himself back to his own place. Kakashi felt torn on that front too. Part of him wanted to keep an eye on the other man but he did not trust his luck to hold out while Naruto was away.
Kakashi looked around at the empty plant filled living room. When did everything get complicated?
Yamato was at work. Kakashi nodded to him as he took a seat at their shared desk. He flipped open his book (another little marker of Naruto) and pretended to read while he opened his case list from Danzo.
Yamato peered up from his side of the desk with an unimpressed expression. "Like the job that much?"
"I live for my work, Yamato."
Yamato scowled, then with a smile. "I turned in my two week's notice."
Kakashi hoped he didn't look as blindsided as he felt, because Yamato looked far too pleased and really it was unfair of him. "Really?"
Yamato nodded. That seemed to be all that was going to be said on the matter until- "Danzo might end up dumping you with my workload soon. That's all."
"Guess I'll be on the road soon."
Yamato didn't seem to think that needed to be elaborated on at all and Kakashi found the mental calculus of his life was now dealing with the two pronged problem of Yamato no longer sharing his desk and the work that was sure to come his way. Either way he looked at it made him feel cold.
He had liked sharing his desk with Yamato.
He checked his phone absently for text messages. Nothing.
He made a point for the rest of the day of spending too much time bothering (derailing) Yamato. He stole his paperwork, logged him out of the computer when he wasn't looking, stole his lunch. It was petty, but Yamato seemed to find it all rather amusing and Kakashi figured he owed the man about five years worth of deskmate bonding.
They ended the day with an argument over whether or not to get a celebratory dinner, which Kakashi felt was necessary. He thought he had Yamato halfway convinced too, when they were stopped at the door to the building.
"Good evening, Kakashi. Care to join us for a fine evening of drinks and revelry?" Guy asked, with no sense of personal space or timing. He jumped into their conversation by trying to pull Kakashi into a one armed hug, Lee hot on his tail with a bag full of paperwork.
"An excellent idea," Lee said, coming to a stop before Yamato, "I heard we have much to celebrate."
"Er, actually-" Yamato was already trying to duck away.
"We'd love to," Kakashi said, dropping an arm on Yamato's shoulders and pulling the other man towards them. If he had to put up with the little monsters so did Yamato. "Yamato here is, in fact, celebrating his two weeks."
"No fucking way." The group turned to see Genma coming down the stairs, cigarette already halfway to his mouth. "Well, congratu-fucking-lations, Yamato, my man. You really did it. Fuck this place am I right? And did I hear that right or is Kakashi Hatake coming to join us lowly plebeians for drinks and merry making tonight?"
"Try not to make a complete ass of yourself," Kakashi said.
"Right back at you. Shall we be going then? Man of the hour?"
"I…" Yamato looked slowly around at the faces of his office mates. "I'm not sure."
"He'll come."
Kakashi let the others wander off to their cars, keeping Yamato with him until they were out of earshot. "I'll buy you endless potato skins and sneak you club soda."
"Make it fries and challenge Guy to a drinking contest and you have yourself a deal."
Kakashi stumbled and stepped back to look at Yamato. Yamato continued to level at him an unreadable look and Kakashi sighed. "Guess me and my liver ought to say our goodbyes then."
The bar was loud. Kakashi remembered going there back when he first joined out of obligation to some old coworkers, and it had not changed much since then. The Hidden Leaf Lounge was warm, filled with more men than women, and played the kind of oldies songs even Kakashi didn't like. Yamato was no better in a bar with old coworkers than he was in a hospital. He sat straight as a rail on his chair while Genma tried to get him to commiserate his misery with very loud complaining. Naruto would have liked it here, Kakashi's brain told him.
"Kakashi!" Guy was also loud.
"I believe you'd had enough, sir!" Lee was probably louder.
Or maybe, possibly, Kakashi was drunk.
Guy and Lee collapsed in a pile of loud, indiscernible babbling two chairs down and Kakashi decided that perhaps he was drunk. But they were drunk too so...yeah.
"How you holding up there?" Genma asked.
Was he smoking? Kakashi hated that. "Fine…"
"Maybe I should take him home?" Yamato asked.
"Are you kidding?" Genma said, smirking while he lorded his weird normalness over Kakashi. "This is great. Let him dry out a bit here."
Yamato was grabbing Kakashi and-oh. Kakashi had been falling.
"M'fine, Yamato. Just uh, let me sit here?"
Yamato looked at him and there was real amusement in his face for once. His mouth creased in a smile. "You won, you know."
"Heh. Good."
"I've never seen him this drunk," Genma said, putting out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bar counter, "And back when we first got hired there were these old guys, Hanzo and Homura and Kagami and Torifu, fuck, they used to take us new guys out and drink us under the table. You weren't really in till you passed out drunk on your ass in the bathroom back there."
"Pleasant," Yamato said, clearly disgusted.
Kakashi vaguely recalled what Genma was talking about. "Hanzo was a fucking...he was bad."
Genma laughed. "This fucker right here, he drank all night with Hanzo back then, it must've been ten years ago, and still was walking straight when he got through."
Kakashi raised his head from where it had been resting on the bar. When had he done that. "I cut a deal with the bartender."
Genma dropped his new cigarette. "Oh, c'mon, you're kidding me? You tell me this now? Fuck you Hatake."
Kakashi laughed into his arm, giving up on sitting up for the rest of the night. "She was cute."
"Damn right she was. Ruined all our chances with your stupid pretty face." Genma said, lighting his cigarette and settling into glaring. "And here I thought you really beat Hanzo. You cheating son of a bitch."
Genma softened a bit, around the edges. Or maybe Kakashi's vision was going blurry. "Hey, did you ever get that present?"
"What?"
"From that kid."
"Oh, Naruto. He gave me a lot of flowers. It doesn't matter."
Genma laughed.
In the end Yamato prevented Genma from feeding Kakashi any more drinks than he already had. Instead he found water repeatedly shoved in his face by Lee at the behest of Yamato. Guy seemed completely gone, far as he could tell, and while Kakashi repeatedly insisted he was fine and yes he could walk home, he found himself leaning against Genma by the end of the evening.
"Go on home and celebrate your freedom," Genma said, and he was practically hauling Kakashi up. "I'll keep this one alive. It isn't the first time we've had to do this, is it Kakashi?"
"Don't tell him all my secrets," Kakashi slurred a bit, but managed to pull out of Genma's grip. The world wobbled a bit.
"Are you sure?" Yamato asked.
"It's fine," Kakashi said. There was no need to ruin this for Yamato.
Genma lugged Kakashi towards his car and Kakashi tried his best to help fumble himself into the passenger seat. They drove in silence and Kakashi stared at the passing darkness outside while waiting for the alcohol to wear off. Being drunk was exhausting.
"You know if I didn't know any better," Genma said, not looking at him, "I'd say something's up with you."
"I have no idea what you mean," Kakashi said.
They pulled into his apartment after Kakashi lost count of the streetlights. He felt slightly more sober, or perhaps just less delirious, and decided in a show of the best judgment he'd had all night, to let Genma help him to his apartment.
"You know, much as you're a fatass, it's good to have you around," Genma said, "Gonna miss Yamato after all this."
Kakashi mumbled into his shoulder as they climbed the stairs and ventured down the hallway. When he finally collapsed in his home he needed to sleep and maybe...maybe eat something. He probably had some ramen left from when Naruto was over.
"Well, shit." Genma stopped, and Kakashi stumbled, saved at the last moment by Genma's firm grip.
Down the hallway in the dark light of his front door sat Naruto. He could tell because no one else wore orange so casually.
Naruto looked up at the both of them but Kakashi struggled to make out his face. "Kakashi?"
"And Genma. Remember me?"
"Yeah…" Naruto approached. "What happened?"
"He drank too much." Genma tilted his head, considering Naruto carefully. "What are you doing here?"
And Kakashi remembered Naruto was a terrible liar, and Naruto stuttered out that he had just been waiting for Kakashi because...because...
Genma shoved Kakashi at Naruto and he tried not to fall like a rock but, well, his coordination was not so great and Naruto caught him despite his unpreparedness. Kakashi resigned himself to leaning against the young man.
"Kakashi you dog," Genma said, already lighting a cigarette.
"You shouldn't smoke," Kakashi said, even as his alcohol logged brain screamed at him that he was missing something obvious. "You'll get lung cancer and die. Like Hayate."
"Yeah. He's way gone. Take care of him, eh Naruto?" And with a really bad wink and a wave he vanished down the stairs.
Kakashi sank further down in Naruto's arms. The other man sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"
Kakashi shrugged, and decided it was better to let Naruto handle all of this anyways.
"Where are your keys?"
"Pocket."
"Can you get them?"
"You get them."
Naruto stared at Kakashi with his pretty blue eyes and oh, this reminded Kakashi of something, a dream he was sure. Naruto sighed and reached for his pocket.
"Got you," Kakashi said smugly, grabbing Naruto's hand and trapping him there. He was so close now. And warm.
"Kakashi," Naruto said, "Stop."
"Why?"
Naruto didn't answer and instead pried Kakashi's hand away. He slipped his hand into Kakashi's pocket and grabbed his keys before Kakashi could catch him, and manhandled Kakashi towards the door.
"Don't you like older men?" Kakashi asked and he really needed to shut up.
Naruto smiled though, even as he had to support Kakashi on his bad side while he opened the door (barely) with his left hand. "Why, whatever would make you ask that, Kakashi?"
Kakashi grumbled instead of answering. Naruto laughed. He helped Kakashi through the door and into the apartment, kicking off his shoes, and then Kakashi's, and half dragging him to his room.
"Tell you what," Naruto said, was saying, as Kakashi crawled into bed needing less help now. "If you remember this tomorrow I might just tell you."
"Remember what?"
Naruto leaned in and for a moment Kakashi thought he was going to kiss him. He pulled back just as Kakashi leaned forward.
"Jackass," Kakashi said.
"Go to sleep, old man."
He drifted off before he could muster up the energy to fight him over the 'old man' comment.
Kakashi woke up with a headache. He groaned.
"Morning."
He opened his eyes to blue and blonde and sun and- maybe he could just throw himself out the window? That seemed like the best course of action.
Naruto sat over him, seemingly not at all disturbed by the lack of personal space between them, in a white t-shirt and jeans. Kakashi was still in his damn button up shirt and and slacks from the day before. Naruto had been considerate enough to removes his shoes and tie but honestly.
"If you were just going to lurk over me like a creep you could have at least changed me into something comfortable."
"Oh, Kakashi, we've talked about this. If you want me to take off your pants you have to earn it."
Kakashi threw a pillow at Naruto but nothing seemed to quell the blonde's spirits. "I don't remember that conversation. Anything else I should know?"
"You mean you don't remember last night?"
Well, Kakashi remembered Genma, and Naruto, and some particularly dumb comments about older men. And...
"Nothing happened," he said, sure of it. Naruto beamed at him like that was great news and Kakashi gave up. Let the blonde be stupid, he decided.
He shuffled away from Naruto, and out of bed, and towards the shower and he was going to need half a bottle of Advil for his headache. Naruto sat on his bed, looking comfortable just staring out the window and Kakashi looked away before his mind got any stupid ideas.
When Kakashi stepped out of the shower in into more comfortable clothes, Naruto was still sitting in his house. He'd moved to the kitchen bar, and the morning light drifting through his windows made everything seem surreal. Honestly Naruto dressed down in his house on a random morning was something more likely to happen in Kakashi's dreams. He watched Naruto from the doorway, towel drying his hair if only so his hands had something to do, while he tried to figure out where the blonde had even come from. Had he missed a text or something?
Kakashi went to get his coffee. The morning felt...serene. He hated to ruin it by talking. Naruto had none of those reservations. He smiled as Kakashi entered the kitchen and started running like a motor.
"Sorry for staying the night. I didn't want to walk home and someone needed to make sure you didn't puke and die. I got the coffee started. I think. Also I'm glad you're hanging out with your work friends, they seem nice. Genma's great."
Kakashi poured his coffee carefully.
"I'll assume Yamato's doing fine. I mean, I texted him a couple days ago because he mentioned he was leaving. Honestly I don't understand why you aren't roommates that seems like it would save money."
Kakashi tried not to feel hurt Naruto didn't text him as he set down his coffee and pulled a microwavable breakfast sandwich out of the freezer. Naruto watched with disgust.
"Those things are so unhealthy. You need real food." Oh the irony.
Kakashi sighed as he pushed the button on the microwave and watched his processed meat puck defrost.
"Kakashi." Naruto had moved to stand right behind him and Kakashi jumped. He spun and slapped a hand over the other's mouth. Naruto tried to keep talking and wound up gagging and scowling through Kakashi's hand. He settled on glaring up at the man.
"Naruto, dear, as much as I love hearing your voice, if you could wait until after I finish my coffee that would be much appreciated."
Naruto grinned at him. The microwave beeped but neither of them moved.
"What?" Kakashi asked, backing away as much as the small space allowed and freeing Naruto.
"Nothing, you're just…" Naruto looked him up and down and Kakashi gave up because honestly, he couldn't be bothered in the morning.
And besides, he had always been weak when it came to pretending he was anything other than completely suppliant to anything Naruto could ask him. Naruto didn't need to know that, but it would be exhausting for Kakashi to pretend otherwise, so instead he grabbed Naruto by the shoulders (the way Naruto was often fond of doing) and walked him back to a chair.
"Stay," he said, and lingered too long before he got his breakfast from the microwave.
"You're not going to ask why I'm here?" Naruto asked Kakashi mid bite of sandwich and long after the coffee was gone. Naruto had seemed pleased just to sit around and look radiant in the morning sunlight, so Kakashi was a bit off guard when the question came tumbling out.
Kakashi looked up, and swallowed. "I assumed you were a figment of my demented imagination sent to torment me."
Naruto scowled. "Rude."
"All right, then, if you are real, why are you here?"
Naruto smiled, his sad smile, and looked down at his hands which rested on the counter. He played with the prosthetic. If Kakashi turned his head just right he could almost read the silver chicken scratch scribbled across the black plastic of his forearm. They looked like signatures.
"I was wondering actually, if you didn't mind, if you could come with me today. Because you have a car."
Kakashi sighed. He was supposed to get on the road today anyways. What Danzo did not know wouldn't kill him, though it would perhaps get Kakashi fired.
"Come with you where?"
"To get Sasuke."
Naruto was a surprisingly silent car companion. He settled into the passenger seat of Kakashi's car and stared out the window. Kakashi followed his simple, but brief directions to take the highway north and two hours in Naruto still said nothing.
They stopped for lunch at a Sonic. Naruto requested two orders of onion rings. Kakashi had questions, sure, but he also tended to retreat into silence when he didn't know what he was doing, so they did not speak as they ate.
At last, two more hours down the road and close to the state border, Naruto shot up straight in his seat.
"Here," he said.
"What?"
"Exit here!"
Kakashi veered right and off the freeway. A sign on the side of the road that looked like it hadn't been updated in ages claimed the town was home to the Middle Grade Girl's Cross Country Champions. There was more mud and ice than snow, and Kakashi continued down a two lane road until a few stout buildings rose up from the desolate nothing.
"Keep going," Naruto said, "It's at the edge of town on the right. You'll see it."
"See what?" Kakashi asked, peering around a bit skeptical that anything worth seeing would be there.
"Trailer park."
Kakashi found the park just as Naruto said. Next to a broken down and abandoned Walgreens, with a half falling chain link fence, it looked about as safe as a back alley. They parked in the Walgreens parking lot and Naruto jumped out of the car.
"You can stay in the car."
Kakashi took one look at the place and knew he'd be glued to Naruto's side. The logical side of him, of course, realized Naruto could probably handle it but then he thought about Sasuke, human rain cloud, and decided he would follow Naruto anyways.
They walked through trash and uncut grass, through a hole in the fence, and into the assemblage of half falling apart trailer cars and mobile units. People gave them a wide berth, glaring from a distance or making a point to ignore them, but Naruto seemed unconcerned. There were dozens of stray dogs running around, and the sounds of people arguing and music blaring made the entire thing feel more like a movie set than people's lives.
Kakashi remembered times going into homes where the water had been shut off, or days spent at schools where there were holes in the floor that they didn't have the money to fix. Unlucky kids ended up in places where everything was broken and everyone needed food. Hayate had always had more of a handle on it, always seemed more welcome than Kakashi when they had showed up on another family's doorstep to tell them they were legally obligated to send their child to school.
"That one," Naruto said, pointing at a trailer. Nothing about it seemed notable or distinct from the others. Music blared out the screen door and paint peeled off the side of it.
"Charming place your friend Sasuke's got here."
Naruto glared and Kakashi shut his mouth.
A screaming blonde haired man stumbled out of the door.
"Fuck you!" He screamed. Red faced, he turned and saw them standing there. "Aw, fuck, Hidan!"
A grey haired man leant out the door. "Fuck off Deidara. We told you- oh come on!"
The other man stepped out of the trailer and both men approached Naruto, neither looking please. The blonde was tall, and lean, with long scraggly hair and a stain covered t-shirt. The grey haired man was thin to the bones and despite trying not to be judgmental, Kakashi knew he had to be on something to look like that. Wasting away, corpse walking.
"What do you want fuck lord?" the blonde asked.
Naruto had stopped before he and Kakashi got too close, and stood with his hands in his pockets. "I'm just here to pick up Sasuke's things. Same old."
The grey haired man rolled his eyes. "How many times we gotta tell you to fuck off man? Sasuke's a big boy."
Naruto held up his phone. "He asked me to come by and pick up his things. You got a problem with that take it up with him."
The blonde squinted up at the phone and scowled. "If you steal anything, we're coming for you, you know that."
The blonde grabbed the grey haired man and they stumbled off. "We will. Believe me we will."
They both looked a bit out of it, and Kakashi stepped aside to let them pass. When they were far enough away, Naruto sighed.
"Nice friends." Kakashi said. Then mentally kicked himself.
Naruto started towards the door. "They're Sasuke's brother's old crowd."
Kakashi nodded and followed. The entire interior was exactly as disgusting as he thought it would be. Covered in trash and what Kakashi decided to pretend was just cooking supplies, Naruto stepped through it all to the back of the cramped trailer.
"Sasuke didn't mention a brother."
"Yeah well," Naruto lifted an old mattress at the back of the trailer up, to reveal a hole cut in the bottom. He yanked out a black plastic bag and dropped the mattress with a thud. "He wouldn't. He's in jail."
"For?"
Naruto slung the bag over his shoulder. "Murder. Come on. Let's get Sasuke."
They left the trailer. Still something wasn't right. Kakashi felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He moved closer to Naruto and started looking around.
Everyone was gone, he realized.
Sasuke was waiting for them on the curb of the only fast food joint in town, a decrepit Burger King. He looked like hell. Miles from the park, hunched over. Kakashi had pulled up at Naruto's direction but hardly recognized the boy. Sasuke's hair was longer, his face gaunt, and his clothes torn. He wordlessly let Naruto shuffle him into the back of the Camry.
Naruto treated him like glass, and Sasuke said nothing as Kakashi drove while trying not to comment.
"We saw Deidara and Hidan," Naruto said, "They look messed up."
Sasuke shrugged. "Sasori's gone."
Kakashi didn't know what that meant, but it meant something, because Naruto nodded and averted his eyes.
"You call Sakura yet?"
Sasuke hunched in on himself even more.
Kakashi had, of course, a million and two questions, but mainly he kept his eyes on Naruto. Naruto who looked so tired, Naruto who caught him looking and smiled. He watched the way Sasuke sullenly stared at his own shoes and decided he really did not understand what Naruto saw in him.
"They helped me talk to Itachi," Sasuke said at last. Naruto spun in his chair.
"That's-That's good, right?"
Sasuke looked at Naruto with a strange, glazed expression on his face, but didn't answer.
When they got back to Naruto's place, it took all of Kakashi's willpower to say nothing as he helped Naruto carry Sasuke and his things inside. Sasuke seemed to stumble a lot more and Kakashi couldn't figure if it was his health or his coordination at fault but he kept quiet. Naruto's apartment was exactly what he expected. Small, almost a studio, decorated with paintings and drawings and notes from friends. A small balcony full of plants. His fridge was covered in alphabet magnets and Sasuke was immediately sent to the shower.
Kakashi took an uneasy seat on the balcony. Maybe he should have taken up smoking. It seemed like the place someone would smoke. He noticed an ashtray on the railing despite being almost certain Naruto didn't smoke.
Naruto joined him, collapsing almost as soon as he closed the sliding glass door behind them.
"Tough day?" Kakashi asked.
Naruto closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He looked over at Kakashi, and smiled. "Yeah. but I think it'll be ok now."
Kakashi decided not to ask, and examined the ashtray a bit more closely. The silence was not uncomfortable, exactly, but Naruto fidgeted.
"Itachi and Sasuke were very close before, you know."
"Murder?"
"Yeah."
"It's Shikamaru's." Naruto pointed to the ashtray, "He smokes. And the drawings are all Sai's, he's in art school."
Kakashi nodded, accepting the redirection for what it was.
Naruto did not seem content, however. After a few moments of silence, he sighed, and his entire posture wilted. "Who am I kidding. Sasuke and I, well. Sasuke got into college, but he was all sorts of fucked up cause of his family situation, so when I joined the army after school he dropped out to follow me. Because he's an idiot. Obviously. He's going to be okay now though. This was just. This was something. But he talked to Itachi so."
"You think it's good he talked to his brother. The murderer?"
Naruto looked deeply upset at this. "He went to jail for murder, it doesn't mean he's guilty."
Suddenly a lot of things clicked into place. "Oh."
"Yeah."
They sat there, and the sun was beginning to sink in the sky, casting long shadows on the balcony. Kakashi replayed some of what he knew about the man in front of him, and about Sasuke and Sakura.
"Isn't it funny though. I mean. I got paid to do a lot of things. Some great things. But I also got paid to sometimes put bullets into people so the guys in charge wouldn't have to," Naruto gave a humourless laugh, "But it's Itachi who's in jail, while Hidan and Deidara and that entire gang blow Sasuke and Itachi's money on drugs and lottery tickets. How's that for fair?"
It was the only time Kakashi had ever seen Naruto look bitter. Or even upset.
"I don't have any regrets about it," Naruto said.
Kakashi reached out a hand, placed it on his shoulder. It was a weak show of support, even he could admit that, but Naruto broke out of his strange mood if only for a moment to look at him.
"Thanks," he said.
"Don't mention it," Kakashi said, and stuffed his hands in his pockets so he didn't look like a nervous buffoon.
Naruto suddenly threw himself at him and Kakashi stumbled as he was pulled into a hug.
It took several hours, but at long last Sasuke was dressed and fed and looked slightly less dead. Naruto did not stop fussing.
"You need to eat more vegetables."
"..."
"I have tomatoes. Be nice to Sakura. She's been worried. Did you grab your clothes already? I ran them through the wash."
"Naruto," Kakashi put, what he hoped, was a calming hand on the blonde's shoulder as they walked towards the car. Sasuke watched them from under dark bangs.
Naruto shut up and grinned. "Sorry. I get nervous."
Sasuke pushed past them and got into the car.
"Is he okay?" Kakashi asked.
Naruto shrugged. "It's like you said. He needs therapy."
The drive to Sakura's apartment was surprisingly short. They parked on the street and sat there for several silent minutes.
"Should you go in first?" Naruto asked Sasuke.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and got out of the car.
"Hey!" Naruto tumbled after him.
Kakashi got out and waited by the car. He watched the two disappear into the building. It was dark now. He waited for about thirty minutes. Then twenty more. At last he told himself that if he didn't hear anything in another ten minutes he would leave.
He stayed another twenty before driving himself home.