(Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does.)

Why wasn't I burning? I had been bitten and should have been experiencing the searing inferno of transformation. Was it over? How had I managed to avoid the inevitable agony? I paused and realized that impossible as it seemed - my heart was still beating. I wasn't dead. I wasn't a fully formed vampire. I opened my eyes.

Darkness. My eyes were wide open but all I knew was cold darkness. .I was laying on a cold, hard surface, but was afraid to move because I knew I wasn't alone. I could smell human blood mingled with the sweetness of vampires. I closed my eyes and there was no change in scenery as I inhaled the scents, trying to form a story that would explain where I was. I had been born with the thirst for human blood. I was created on it. My mother feeding me the life giving nectar as I was forming inside of her fragile human form. I knew not to take it from the source. I swore I would never make such a mistake and I've kept that vow. Carlisle, Bella and I have resisted our entire lives and I was determined to keep it that way.

The senses that I could make use of were reaching out to explore. The scent of human blood was teasing me and my throat faintly burned from it. When was the last time I'd hunted? I didn't want to make a sound or else the vampires would know I was awake. I was cool and the air was still. It was deathly silent, despite my beating heart.

Wait.

Only one beating heart. The one that was mine. I smelled the unmistakable scent of human blood. I'd know that temptation anywhere. So what was going on? I decided that it was a curiosity that deserved explanation. Far beyond my desire to be still and unchallenged was my desperate need to know exactly what situation I was actually in. I tried to sit up and found that I wasn't restrained. The shuffling of my clothing was soft, but in the absolute quiet, I may as well have been rolling around in bubble wrap.

"Hello?" My voice was soft and hushed. There was no answer. I felt around for the people that I could sense. They must have been dead. My fingertips met nothing but the cold, dusty floor. I heard the soft shuffle of fabric.

I froze.

"I know you're there." I moved to stand and reached out to touch any surface available. I walked forward, away from the scent of vampire. My fingers touched a solid wall and slid across it. It had groves that formed a square shape with something that felt like a lock embedded in the surface. I felt the entire wall and the entire surface repeated the same pattern. Many locked squares on a wall…

I suddenly heard the rustling move closer and I spun around, getting down into a crouched position.

"Get back!" I said, but it came out with a hiss. I was preparing myself to fight. My knives were gone so I would have to use my defensive attacks. "Where am I?"

"The bank," a voice said and I immediately recognized it as the voice of my initial attacker. Did he kill the people I smelled in the room? Were they his kill? Where they the people I drove away from earlier in the day? My blood froze when I realized their deaths were because I left them to the whims of this vampire.

"You were the one I sensed here earlier today," I said, my voice in monotone.

"When I saw you alone, I couldn't believe my luck," he said. "You are the best revenge for Sienna I could have hoped for. Destroy your humanity and leave you to your mutt."

"Your plan failed," I said, trying to sound brave. "Your friend's venom is crap." I felt for the bite mark on my shoulder, but it had already healed. I heard him laugh but there wasn't any mirth behind it.

"No. It just didn't work the way I planned."

I froze and wondered what he meant.

"Why are we in the dark?", I asked as I timidly starting to pat around the room again.

"We're in the vault. When the bank closed and we sated our thirst on the employees, we stashed their bodies in here. It was only convenient to stash you here, too." My heart sank. Those deaths were on my conscience. I cleared my throat.

"Why are we in the dark? Vaults have lights." I was adamant to know the truth. I heard and smelled him back away from me. His answer chilled my bones.

"It's possible you're stronger than I am right now and the dark puts you at a disadvantage. I can't afford to die by your vengeful little hand. I need to see your dog's reaction to what we did to you before I'm dead."

I began to panic. I asked him with a low voice that seemed barely audible, "What did you do to me?" He was not forthcoming with an answer. I felt around the floor for the bodies of the victims that were causing my throat to prickle with heat. "You know you're dead. For whatever you did to me. If you hang around until my family finds me, they will end you." I seethed in my fury, built on a strength I didn't know I had. It was easy to be brave when you couldn't see your opponant.

"I'm depending on it." That threw me. The guy wanted to be ripped apart. Because that was exactly what he was asking for if Jacob got to him first. "Sienna's gone. You wouldn't have any idea what it feels like to be torn from your mate, little girl. This existence has lost it's meaning."

So, there it was. His revenge for Jacob and Leah killing his mate was to make me undesirable to my werewolf. He had hoped to transform me, to put me into the process of conversion and wait for them to find us. Except, something went wrong and I didn't succumb. Apparently I do not die from venom, which was good to know. However, something had happened to me. Something of significance.

"You'll get your wish," I said, certain he was close to being mauled by a raging wolf. Unless…

I crouched to feel more defensive, more dangerous. "Or, I could tell them not to kill you. Jacob will do what I ask, and my family aren't as led by instinct. You'll sit and suffer." He was quiet, most likely considering my threat. I was tense, the worst part not knowing how I was changed. What happened to me? I kicked around for the bodies that didn't seem to be there, determined to find them.

"They aren't here. Malcolm took them away to finish the change," he said. Was Malcolm the name of the one who'd bitten me? I heard the vampire's voice, but wasn't comprehending. I could smell human beings in the room! My throat was prickling from the thirst. I could hear the vampire give forth a small laugh. "Maybe my plan didn't fail so much after all, hmm?"

He was lying. I told myself that he must be - but I knew it was no lie. It was only the trace scent of those poor souls who had been there but were now laying somewhere else, burning in the fires of conversion. I found the wall and slid down it, hugging my knees to my chest. I was suddenly too terrified to move. I didn't want anyone to come for me. To find me. What would they think of me? What would I do when I crossed a human's path? Was it permanent? I had a million immediate questions and no one to answer them.

"They are looking for me right now. My father will get close enough and know everything." Don't let Jacob come with you. Bring Jasper. Bring Emmett. Keep Jacob away. Please! I knew it was a fruitless request. There was no way on Earth anything could keep Jacob from me. I would be devastated if I'd become something he'd find distasteful. What if the vampire really had won?

Then I heard sounds coming from beyond the vault. I found that I had for some reason assumed the door was in the opposite direction. My heart lept in my throat and for a second, I believed it could be Malcolm returning. Well, I'd have strength on my side if it was.

"RENESMEE?!" It was Bella. She was shouting for me and her voice was strangely muted through the thick door. Instead of running to the door, I tried to make myself as small as possible. They knew where I was. I could hear Emmett shouting something about the cameras already being torn down before an angry series of barks. No!

"Momma?!", I answered her, not knowing if she'd hear me. Someone was working at the door, I could hear it begin to creak. I buried my head in my arms, refusing to look up when the light would come flooding in. I would refuse to look at Jacob. I would refuse to breathe.

I could feel the change in air temperature when with a churning, metallic tearing sound, the door to the vault was torn away. I could feel someone touching me, pulling me into hard arms of steel. I slid my arms around the neck of the one who held me and realized it was my uncle Jasper. I was relieved it was him.

"Don't let go of me," I whispered to him.

"Trust me," he said, and I did. I knew he would protect me from hurting others and myself. He gave me the courage to look out into the vault, but I should have known better. I met the eyes I'd wanted to avoid. Tears formed in my own as Jacob stared into me. I could hear a growl begin to rumble in his throat.

"Jake?" My arms tightened around Jasper and he winced, pulling them a little away from him. I loosened my grip and kept my eyes on my best friend. "I'm sorry, Jacob."

Jacob was clearly enraged and he suddenly turned to face the vampire who'd held me captive. Edward and Emmett were standing over my captor, but made no effort to keep Jacob from attacking. Edward must have known my wishes not to give the vampire the death he so craved, but it was as if they were only waiting for Jacob to work out his revenge.

"Jacob! No!" I shouted at him. He looked back at me once and caught my eye. There was nothing stopping the will behind those eyes. Turning, he lunged at the vampire, fangs bared and lethal. I turned my head then, burying my face in my uncle's shoulder. I didn't need to see it. How could I blame Jacob for dealing out his own vengeance? I could hear the granite sounds of vampire flesh tearing as he ripped my enemy to shreds.

"Let's just go," I murmured to Jasper. "I want to go home."

"Take Nessie home," Edward said to Jasper as my mother walked over to us. The light in the vault was very dim, streaming in from the streetlights outside. "Emmett, could you go with them…just in case?" My father added the last bit under his breath but I could hear it clearly. Apparently my hearing was amplified as well. "Jacob and I will finish up here." That meant they were going to discuss things in private. Edward knew all of us better than we knew each other. Was this really that bad? What was Jacob thinking? Was I hurting him too badly? I could feel a lump form in my throat and refused to look out at anyone.

"Let's go home. It'll be okay, sweetie," Bella said to me, but I knew she was probably at a loss of how to really handle the situation. None of us really knew what was happening to me. Jasper carried me out of the vault and I knew the evidence of the massacre would have to be gathered and dealt with. Jacob would be busy with Edward doing that. I would have time to gather myself before seeing him again. It would give him time to let it sink in. Now I really was a freak. The same as always, just now suddenly far more vampire than human.

When we got outside, I clutched tighter to Jasper when my throat was suddenly scorched. No one was nearby to see us leaving the bank but there were vulnerable humans nearby. They were most likely just around the block at the movie theater. I could taste the humanity in the air. It snapped into me like a rubber band to skin. I tried to hold my breath as long as possible.

"Nessie! Baby, are you okay?", I heard Rosalie's voice and felt her fingers stroke my hair. Rose was there? I let out the lungful of air I'd been holding and prepared myself for another. I breathed in and suddenly there was nothing I needed more than to sate the thirst. A rush of addiction more potent than anything I'd ever imagined assaulted my better sense and I suddenly craved a harsher burn. The desire was overwhelming. I quickly held my breath, but it hurt far worse this time. I lifted my hand to Jasper's face to better explain since speaking stole my air. I quickly expressed to him the dire need I had to get away from the city. I was sending him my terror in a tidal wave. I felt him stumble from it.

"Jasper! Get her in the car!", I heard my father's voice call out from the bank, but it was just a noise less interesting than the buzz in my brain. The people around me were obstacles in my path. I turned then and stared out in the direction of my prey. Just one. They had all killed, save for two of them. Would it matter if I took just one? I needed it. Jacob would forgive me. He forgives everything.

I heard someone gasp. Was it Bella?

"Her eyes!" I felt myself being moved with lightning speed to the car. It was like I was detached from sense and suddenly began to struggle in Jasper's arms. The more savage I became, the more panicked the tiny part of me that was still human became. My uncle tightened his grip, but I found he was no match for my newfound strength. I hissed at him and fought desperately to be free, breaking his hold. I turned to run in the direction of the humans I craved, but was caught in another snare. Emmett held tight to me and it was harder for me to break free of that strength. I was stronger than Jasper, but now I was up against one with strength almost equal to my own.

"Let go of me, Emmett!" I snarled at him. He held tight to me as he got in the back seat of his jeep.

"You know you don't want that, " he said through clenched teeth. "Rose, get us out of here."

I struggled against rock hard body that was holding me so tight. We both knew I was just a little stronger than he was. I would have overpowered him eventually, save for one thing. Jasper was sitting next to us, and he looked much too calm than he should have, considering the waves of desperation I must have been giving him. He was very good at his talent. Rosalie had us all on the road, unfortunately we had to pause at a stoplight, just outside the very theater that was torturing me. It was becoming unbearable. My throat was on fire, but instead of struggling and savagely fighting to scramble out of the jeep, I found my muscles felt too heavy to make the effort. The calm Jasper had over me was snuffing out my motivation, but not the pain. Tears formed in my eyes and I curled into a ball, as Emmett loosening his grip. My head rested in his lap and I began to shake as I held my breath. I felt him rub my back and I opened my eyes to see the amber eyes of my mother staring at me from the passenger seat.

"Hold on, baby. We'll get you home and you'll be okay."

I couldn't answer her. I couldn't say that my brain was screaming with no thoughts but the need to feed. I could only lay there and suffer.

"Drive faster," I managed to growl. We were nearly outside the city and Rose accelerated. I fought to focus on the burn, trying to turn it into something else. Something I could have power over. As we got further away from the city limits, the pain began to fade somewhat and I found I could breathe again. "I won't be able to leave the house," I said, stating a fact. I managed to sit up and settled in between the two guys.

"We'll get you through it." Jasper put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned against him. I could feel new tears forming.

"What if I'm venomous? What about Jake?" It was something I'd been able to think about once the burn began to wear off. Of course, the first thoughts I began to have when I could think straight were of him. If for some reason I had venom, I could hurt him. It was a horrific thought.

"Jacob loves you forever no matter what," Bella said, turning to look at me. "You just have to be careful until we can figure this out." Well, I guess biting him was now out of the question.

We drove in silence for awhile on the dark road. Emmett reached for the driver's controls and rolled the windows down to let in the fresh air of nature that we Cullen's loved. It helped to clear out the lingering scent of human prey. I sat up a little from Jasper and looked at him, imagining all the history that he'd gone through to get to where he was at that moment. "Now I can see why it's hard for you to resist sometimes." He looked at me evenly for a bit before smiling softly.

"It can sometimes be hard, but I have Alice and our family when I need help. You have us and you have Jacob," he said, and I thought about how lucky we were to have each other. Our little family. It was at that moment that I noticed movement along the side of the road, just beside the trees. I turned to look out my own window and could make out the forms of a few huge wolves racing alongside the speeding car. They were my friends. Jacob's small pack. The wind coming through the window smelled of them - and somehow different. I noticed the change in their scent and wrinkled my nose. Was that the wet dog smell the vampires would complain of? It wasn't all that bad, but then again, I was biased.

"Look who's here to check on you," I heard Bella say from the front seat. I let my head rest against Jasper and watched Embry's powerful form as he kept up with the car. Leah was shooting out in front of the other two - ever the speed demon. Rosalie slowed a bit to make it easier for them. In response, I heard several yips and barks.

"They can keep up," I said, watching them run. Jacob probably sent them, or else they were worried I might do something stupid. I was feeling more and more ashamed of my hideous behavior the more the hunger faded. I had hissed, fought, growled, and almost murdered humans. The worst part was that I found myself powerless to control it, and it was as if my conscience didn't matter. The thought scared me. What if it happened again? As if he knew what I was thinking, Emmett looked at me, his attitude somewhat reassuring.

"We've got your back. We've all been through this, more or less," he said and smiled a little. He didn't seem daunted by it.

"I was so stupid," I said, picking at my nail.

"No one's judging you," Bella said, firmly. "You have a heartbeat. You have tears. I don't know what's going on, but we'll figure this out. You just seem to be like a newborn right now. All us vampires went through it, so we know how you feel."

"Uh, correction. Make that MOST vampires, Mrs. Cullen." Emmett grinned and I couldn't help but smile a little. Leave it to him to lighten up a mood. My mother pretended to look offended, but it was no secret that she'd had an easy time of being a newborn. Was that what they could say I was - jacked up on newborn? I settled in for the remaining ride home, glad I would be able to simply touch anyone who wasn't there to explain the whole thing.

At least one thing would be easier.

Lucky me.

(If this chapter seemed a bit confusing, it will be cleared up in the next one. Carlisle will get involved and that man has connections. I'm writing in the first person, so because Nessie doesn't understand what's happening to her (and neither does her family), we don't either. It was important to me to imagine what a newborn might experience, to get in their head. She isn't a newborn, but she has the symptoms of one. I always wondered what Bella would have gone through if she didn't have such an easy newborn experience. Through Nessie, I can play with that idea.

I want to thank you all for sticking with me as I explore Jake and Nessie. I appreciate all the critiques and reviews! Keep reading and I'll keep writing. -Z)