Chapter#11

It was a small funeral.

Well, small as in only a few people she actually knew were here.

My mother wasn't exactly the warmest person to ever grace this earth, but she was still my mother, regardless of our past.

I snaked my hand inside Dimitri's open palm and laid my head on his shoulder.

It was cloudy, impeding rain shuffled beneath the grey clouds. I shivered, and Dimitri removed his duster and put it around me. He had told me several times that it would be chilly, and to get a jacket, but being me, I didn't listen.

I watched as they lowered her casket into the ground.

After the funeral, we gathered into a room in the palace that was used for meetings and royal receptions.

Finger foods and other appetizers were served, and despite Dimitri offering me sustenance I just couldn't find hunger beyond my grief.

So instead he sat next to me, and rubbed at my knee.

I was wearing a black knee length dress and black heels with rhinestone diamonds at the clasps. They were pretty, but were a real bitch to my feet.

Seeing my discomfort, because there was really nothing I could keep from Dimitri he unhooked the strap on one of shoes and rubbed soothingly at my aching foot.

"Are we going to talk about this now?"

It was a discussion that Dimitri and I had the night before, well not a discussion, an argument. A rather heated one.

"I don't think now is exactly an appropriate time."

Since he was no longer Christians guardian he wanted to leave court. I, on the other hand, wanted to stay with Lissa. I wasn't her guardian anymore since she fired me, or as she put it promoted me. My official title was head of security. I wrote up all the schedules for her guardians. Dimitri led the trainings, since I wouldn't be doing any sparing until after the baby.

I wasn't ready to give that up because of an attack.

If we ran, whoever attacked us would win.

"And when is?" He said, regretfully pulling his hand away and clenching his teeth tight. "When we receive more threats? Another attack?"

The government had been looking into who attacked us. The stones with the blood had been turned in. We were still waiting on some kind of lead.

"Dimitri, please." I gritted, as he slipped my shoe back on. "I can't do this right now. We will talk. I promise."

He sighed, taking my other foot and giving it the same due attention.

"When Roza?" He said without looking up at me. "When I am attending your funeral?"

I shook off his hold and threw my shoe back on. I laced my arm with his, pulling him into the hall, and away from prying ears.

The regals and other high society of Moroi were here. Just for show, of course, none of them had known my mother. Not personally anyway, she was a legend, and everyone had heard stories about her. Regardless, I didn't want to give them, or anyone else reason to whisper about us.

Though my former strigoi pregnancy was already causing quite a ring of gossip. I didn't want a fight with my guardian fiancé to stir the pot.

"What's the matter comrade?" I said cocking my head to the side with a smile. "Looking to get rid of me already?"

"That's not funny." He snarled.

"Well, I don't know if you've heard, but I have a really bad ass guardian." I said, placing my hands onto his black dress shirt, attempting to soothe him. "I highly doubt my funeral is scheduled for anytime soon."

"You don't know that." He said, grabbing my hands. "Anything can happen Roza."

"Let's leave." He continued, still watching my hands. "While we still can. It's not safe."

"Comrade, court is the safest place to be."

"I don't know about that." He said, moving his eyes around the corner to the Moroi who were gathered.

I pulled his face to me, and laid a soft, cautious kiss to his lips.

It was hard to believe how good his mouth had tasted, considering all the swear words he had screamed at me just the night before.

He deepened the kiss, and clenched tight to me, balling the silk of my dress in his fists.

I pulled back, breathless when we were getting gasps and other muffled sounds of protests from people who were coming inside.

Jesse Zelko's arms were wrapped tightly around his chest as he regarded us with a raised eyebrow. Slowly he moved towards us.

The smell of nicotine and alcohol followed him inside and mixed in the air.

I fidgeted, fixing my already straight dress.

"Rose Marie Hathaway, well as I live and breathe." He said, opening his arms proudly.

That last comment got him a few cross looks from some of the other Moroi gathered, as well as a few snide stares from some of the guardians.

It was in poor taste to say that. Especially at a funeral, but most people wouldn't say anything. Since he was a Royal Moroi.

"What?" He said. "Well I do."

"What do you want Jesse?" I said, wrapping my arms around my chest.

"Is that anyway to greet an old friend Hathaway?"

"By old friend you mean someone that tortured my best friend? I would say you're lucky not to get your face greeted with my fist."

"Again." I finished with a chuckle.

He smirked, but gave me a sharp eye. "Feisty. I like that."

"You know Rose, we could pick up where we left off."

You know, back at the academy." He finished with a wink.

I can't believe I ever made out with Jesse.. Gross..

Not that he wasn't physically attractive, but emotionally he was about as deep as a blow up kiddie pool.

He sauntered closer, causing Dimitri's heavy frame to press between us.

I pressed my hands in the same spot on his chest, mimicking the same motions as earlier to soothe him. "Dimitri, can you please get me something to eat?"

I didn't want Dimitri to get into a fight, especially with a royal. No matter how much of a leech Jesse was.

He turned to me and nodded sharply before pressing his angry eyes to Jesse.

I waited until Dimitri was in the food line before I spoke.

"First of all.. eww.. Secondly, I'm with Dimitri."

"Oh, so that's legit." He said motioning towards Dimitri. "You all are really together then?"

"Yep." I said, flashing my ring in his face. "We are."

"Well I'll be damned." He scoffed, pulling away.

"I never pegged a girl like you as marriage type."

"What do you mean, a girl like me?" I said, shifting my arms around myself again.

He pressed closer to me. His eyes darkened with daring.

"I mean a strigoi slut like you. Burn in hell."

Crap, it was Jesse. He's the one who attacked us.

Before I could react, he turned on his heel and walked out the door.

Dimitri came back with a small plate and ushered it out to me before directing me to sit.

"Thank you." I said. He nodded and sat next to me.

"Aren't you eating?" I said, staring at his empty lap.

"I'm not hungry." He grumbled, his eyes still glued to the spot where Jesse was.

I knew better. He hadn't eaten all day.

"Fine." I huffed, putting the plate on the end table before taking a cheese stick into my mouth.

"You really want to talk about this?"

He finally met my eyeline, but kept his arms tight against his chest.

"Yes, I would Miss Hathaway."

Damn, he was pissed.

I shivered against his anger, hoping I hadn't let it outwardly show, but with Dimitri I knew he could sense my fear.

He closed his eyes and sighed, when he returned to me his eyes lightened and he drew a long kiss into my head.

"Roza, if something happened to you." He breathed. "I couldn't. I couldn't go on."

He pressed his hand on my stomach and rubbed it.

"Or our little one."

I met his hand, and he stopped rubbing.

"It's going to be OK. Court is safe."

He laughed, coming out like a grunt.

"Besides." I continued when he didn't speak. "If we leave whoever is attacking us wins."

He shot up, leaving me empty.

"Are you serious?" He gritted, throwing his hand through his shoulder length brown hair, which he kept untied.

"What?" I asked, not rising from the spot.

He pressed his face to mine, his hands propped up on either side of me.

"What part of this do you think is a game?"

"I don't." I said in a small, choked out voice.

"Then why do you talk about winning and losing like it is?"

He scooted closer to me, his eyes traveling to my lips and then back up to my eyes. His hands were now clenched tight against the arm rests of my chair.

"This isn't a game Miss Hathaway. Your life is not a game to me. I could give a damn about letting the person who attack us 'win'. I only care about surviving, and the way to do that is to leave."

He sat up straight and folded his arms against his chest.

"I can't believe you have such a blatant disregard for not just your life, but the life of our baby."

Low blow Comrade.

"That's not true." I spat. "I am just not a coward, who thinks that running is the only solution to surviving."

Opps, I shouldn't have said that, and Rose counters with another low blow.

He scoffed and shook his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore." He finished, just before walking off and leaving me alone.

I gasped, suddenly my lungs were heavy. Needing air, but no matter how hard I pulled for it none came. It only came out in forceful half breaths.

I was conscious of someone now sitting next to me, but I didn't turn. I didn't have the energy to.

"Rose?"

It was Lissa's voice that rang to my ears, giving me strength.

I turned, and threw myself in her embrace. Sobbing into her black lace dress.

"It's ok Rose. I know." She said, rubbing my back.

After she pulled apart from me she cupped my face.

"I saw. I saw the fight between you and Dimitri last night."

I scoffed and wiped at my face, turning back towards the door. It was raining now. The drops leaked against the glass pane and trickled down in a rush.

Fuck you two-way bond.

"I don't want to talk about it." I gritted without turning away.

"Rose, maybe it's best if you go. Just for a little while."

I could hear the tear of her voice that conflicted with her words.

She didn't want me to go, just like I didn't want to go.

"I told you. I don't want to talk about this." I gritted.

"Rose, please. Let's discuss this."

"No." I snapped, rising to my feet. "Just because your queen doesn't mean you get to tell everyone what to do."

That's exactly what it meant. Oh well. I was mad, I didn't have to make sense.

I sighed, seeing the eyes that followed the sound of my voice.

Damn it Rose.

"This is my mom's funeral, and for once could you leave me alone to grieve in peace?"

"All of you." I said, turning when I saw Christian and Dimitri border the door.

"Damn it, I don't need protection."

I turned and grabbed my purse before walking towards the door.

"Rose, what are you doing?" Lissa said with a desperate chirp.

"I'm ending this." I said. I turned to Dimitri, who was staring with his hands up. "I'm not running, and I'm not just going to sit here and wait. I value the life of our child, and I won't force our baby to hide."

"I'm ending this." I said again with gritted teeth before strutting off to the door.