A/N: Sorry for the insanely long wait for an update on this one. It's been a journey. Anyway, I'm back to writing now. Please enjoy! Let me know if you are still into reading this one. :)
Elle
We trade tit for tat, like that for this,
And I don't think that there was an insult that was missed.
I can see it in your eyes, like I taste your lips, and,
I'm very sorry.
Little Motel by Modest Mouse
Alex began to stir slightly in her seat as the smell of warm, dark coffee crest her nose. She was still unaware of the amount of time she'd been sleeping, or her whereabouts within their travels, but as her minds eye began to arouse she smiled at the thought of the person she was accompanying. Casey Burton.
Casey blew gently over her pipping cup of coffee as she noticed Alex smiling sweetly in her sleep. The blonde always seemed to sleep so peacefully, something she herself had not accomplished in many years. Yet, she still couldn't help but be slightly jealous of the other woman's ability to rest so calmly even in flight.
Looking away from the resting woman, Casey began to scan back over her travel arrangements. They would be landing in the next few hours, and she wanted everything to go as smoothly as possible. She was honestly still shocked that she was able to secure the place she did with such short notice. It was an old beach bungalow her nanny would take them to during the summer months while her parents worked. She just hoped it kept all the beautiful memories of back then, along with providing room for new happy ones.
"What are you doing?" She heard a groggy voice ask.
Looking towards the waking woman, she smiled before quietly replying, "Good morning, sunshine." She paused, long enough to admire the beauty of her partner as she stretched, before continuing, "How'd you sleep?"
"Like a rock," Alex replied with a yawn as she sat up. Brushing her hair out of her eyes before tying it up in a messy knot bun, she sighed, "I need coffee."
Smiling at the older woman, Casey passed her cup over, "It's black, but you are welcome to it. I've already had a few."
"How long have you been awake?" Alex asked as she took the offered cup.
Setting her papers down, Casey rolled her neck and stretched, "Maybe three hours."
"Wow, really?"
"Yeah," she continued, "I don't sleep much."
"Which reminds me of my first question," Alex smirked, "What have you been doing?"
Smiling brightly at the woman of her affections, Casey confessed, "Looking over our rental stuff for our next adventure."
Alex grinned at the admission. "I love how much you enjoy planning all our trips. It makes them extra special. I truly hope you realize how much I appreciate it."
"I do," the redhead said as a small blush covered her cheeks. "It makes it all that much more enjoyable to plan."
The two women sat for a few minutes in silent reflection. Alex taking a moment to wake up, while Casey merely doubled checked where they needed to go for the car. It was only when the flight attendant reappeared with more coffee and took a breakfast order that they both livened up a bit. Maybe it was the excitement of their impending landing, or the ability to soon be able to talk freely, either way, they suddenly fell back into their mutual comfort zones.
The rest of the flight passed smoothly with easy small talk exchanged between the two women. Reading the news articles off tablets, while eating breakfast made everything between them seem so natural. Alex had already come to realize how much Casey enjoyed reading about the states of her stocks and other investments, while she preferred to read articles on the arts and politics. Overall, it was a wonderful balance to their conversations. When one began to bore them, they could easily transition to another. In a way, it was as if they'd known each other so much longer.
The feeling made Casey feel a way she hadn't felt in years. It was a feeling she couldn't quite explain, but it seemed to make her feel a little more whole than she had in a long time. She just wondered if it would last. She prayed it would last, but deep inside she kept wondering if she was just waiting for it all to fail...
A few hours later, the two women were nearing the island of Casey's childhood summers. She'd rented a Jeep Wrangler, they had the top down, and the beautiful warm Florida sunshine beating down on them. The moment felt surreal as Casey pointed out landmarks from her youth.
Alex was fascinated with the enormous smile on the younger woman's face. She felt honored to finally see such an intimate side of her. It was an amazing chapter of their affair.
Driving along the formerly familiar roads, Casey saw the rundown remains of a putt-putt golf course she use to play in her youth. "Oh," she breathed at the sight.
"Oh, what?"
"We used to play there," she replied. The whole course was overgrown with weeds, and the once green playing field was black and pulled up in places. "It looks almost wild now."
"So it goes," Alex hummed as she kept looking towards the horizon. "It's sad when years take our youth from us."
"Yeah," Casey mumbled as she began to sink mentally into the past.
Driving in quiet thoughts, the two soon found themselves headed towards a bridge with crystal clear waters on either side. Alex was filled with excitement as they neared their final location. It looked like paradise, and being with Casey was making it that much better.
However, Casey felt something completely different.
She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment her emotions began to shift, maybe it was seeing that putt-putt golf course, but she was suddenly very aware of her growing anxiety. Everything had seemed fine, up until the dilapidated fixture of her youth, then it became harder to breathe. She just hoped she could keep everything in check until they got to the bungalow.
She had a pill for it. She was used to the feeling. It had a nasty habit of sneaking in when she least needed it to. She just needed a moment to take it. Then a little bit of time to calm herself. Logically, the redhead was able to acknowledge that location and memories were probably getting the best of her, but she couldn't turn back now. This trip was about showing her true self to Alex. She couldn't back out on the blonde.
Alex looked over at her partner, and laughed hard. She was completely unaware of Casey's mental state, and could only register the moment. Casey had a silly straw hat on that she'd picked up after exiting customs which didn't quite fit her, but she was determined to pull it off anyway. The playful side of this mysterious woman drove her soul wild. She just couldn't get enough, and she knew she wanted all of her.
Pulling her phone out, she snapped a picture of her partner. "Say cheese," she laughed.
Fighting to keep a mask of sanity in place, Casey forced a smile, "Cheese!" Yet playfulness was the last thing on her mind.
"So," the blonde continued totally unaware of her partner's cracking persona, "It's almost 1. You say we have another 15 minutes before we reach the place?"
"Yeah," she muttered.
Still oblivious to the fracture occurring, Alex continued, "So, maybe after we unpack we could explore? Maybe find a store and get some food and stuff."
Growing more anxious by the second, Casey was unable to answer. Suddenly she was feeling trapped and in need of air. Which was an idea full of nonsense since she was being pelted with air.
"Yeah," she forced, "I'm just going to need about an hour to fix myself up."
Now, Alex began to notice something different about this woman. Something didn't seem right, but clearly she wasn't ready to share. "Alright," the blonde replied as normal as possible. "I could use some time to freshen up as well."
"Good," was all Casey offered. She was too in her own head to register that her mask was failing. Otherwise she might have noticed how Alexandra Cabot was beginning to pick her apart mentally.
Looking around the old cottage, Casey suddenly regretted choosing this location. Swallowing thickly, she again tried to hide her building emotions. Though, much to her dismay, Alex saw through them.
"What is it? Is something wrong?" The blonde finally questioned.
Shaking her head slightly, she regrouped, "No, nothing's wrong. Everything looks great."
Snorting a little, Alex tossed her bag down on the couch, "Your face says otherwise. What's up?"
"Everything is fine," Casey rebuffed. "Let's unpack."
Realizing her travelmate was not going to budge, Alex dropped it. She knew not to push her too much. Whatever, Casey Burton held inside she felt was too great to share. It bothered her, but she also recognized that Casey would open up when she felt the time was right.
Grabbing her bag, Alex carried it to one of the two rooms. It was a small area with two double beds. Tossing her bag on one, she sat on the other. Part of her wondered why she was following the red headed enigma all over the planet, the other part wanted to run to her and disclose her soul to her. Shaking her head clear, she wondered why everything had to be so difficult.
Meanwhile, Casey snatched up her own bag and headed to the room her nanny used to sleep in. Putting her belongings away, she fetched her pill bottle. Taking a double dose, she swallowed half her bottle of water as she walked out onto her small deck. It overlooked the mangroves and the dock that led out to the small cove where boats could be docked.
They used to sit out there and watch dolphins in the afternoons and sharks at dusk. It was an amazing time in her life. Feeling her stomach knot with emotions, she took another swig of her water and sat down in the lounge chair, propping her long legs up on the railing. Letting herself reflect, she began to wonder if bringing Alex here was a mistake.
Then she saw her.
The first thing she caught sight of was her blonde head, then bathing suit clad body holding a towel under one arm walking out on the dock. Frowning, Casey wondered what the older woman was doing. She knew better than to swim around mangroves didn't she?
Feeling her panic rise within, Casey forced herself up, running through the house to the stairs that led down to the back deck. Skipping every other step, she rushed down them as her heart exploded in her chest. Running furiously down the dock through the overgrown water trees she yelled, "Don't get in the water!"
Only when she again laid eyes on the blonde, did she calm. Alex was lying on the towel, stomach down, propping herself up on her arms staring at the panting woman.
"Are you okay?" She snorted.
"Fuck," Casey breathed heavily as she laid herself down on the dock in the shade. "Just don't get in the water on this side of the island."
With her eyebrows raised, Alex conveyed, "I hadn't intended on it, but please explain."
"Sharks."
"Oh," she softly replied, "That would be a good one."
They remained quiet for a brief moment. Only Casey gasping for air and the waters splashing the side of the dock could be heard. Finally Alex resumed, "So, you saw me walking down here and feared that Jaws would get me?"
"Something like that," she answered as she rolled her head towards the blonde. Maybe the pills had finally kicked in or all the adrenaline she had burnt off, either way she suddenly felt less anxious.
"My hero," Alex said in a cutesy tone.
"Glad I could keep you safe," she said as she looked up to the bright blue sky. The clouds seemed to be moving at record speed. It made her dizzy.
"I love watching the weather here," Casey admitted. "It's so unpredictable. And sunset is my favorite. Would you join me for a walk on the beach this evening?"
"I'd love to," Alex answered honestly. Watching the younger woman lie still was perplexing. Something made her seem almost vulnerable. It was an unusual contrast.
Later, Alex followed a tank top, short clad woman down to the beach. The sky was a mesmerizing kaleidoscope of colors. Pinks mixed with oranges topped with a mix of purples and blues all draped with sheer white smears of clouds. It was breathtakingly romantic, and Alex's heart matched the beat, but something seemed so fundamentally different about Casey. It puzzled her and made her yearn to correct it.
Turning back to face the blonde woman that had stolen her heart, Casey smiled, "This is my favorite beach here."
"Isn't it seven miles of straight beach?" She questioned.
"Yes, but this is my favorite section." The redhead smirked.
"Gotcha," Alex replied smiling and walking to the younger woman's side. Taking her hand she entwined their fingers and pulled her to the waters edge letting her feet get splashed by the softly rolling waves. "The water is so calm here. Is it just as deadly as the others?"
"No," Casey answered, "Just don't go beyond the second sandbar. Personally, I won't go past the first. I've seen too many big ones around here."
"You know a lot about it," Alex replied as they began walking the length of the water.
"Yeah," she murmured in response as a shell caught her eye. Stopping, she bent down to retrieve it from the sand, washing it off in the next wave, she stood and gave it to her partner. "Here, it's just a beautiful as you."
Alex stared at the iridescent shell. It almost changed colors. It was purple and see through, with a stunning shine to it. "It looks almost like the sky. Does it have a name?"
"It's a jingle."
"Like the bell?" She questioned.
"Yes," Casey laughed, "Because if you put a bunch on a string they make a jingling sound."
Alex paused in silence pulling the redhead to her. Wrapping her arms around, Casey's waist, she whispered, "Why do you keep yourself so closed off?"
She bit her lip. She just wanted to bring Alex to the beach and have a romantic outing not face her skeletons all in one trip. But looking into those blue eyes she suddenly felt compelled. "I have demons in my past. I don't want you to leave me for them."
It was two confessions in one sitting. Would she even understand if she explained them both?
"Why did coming here seem to change you?" Alex pried. She thought she'd start with the present problem. Otherwise, this location might prove problematic.
Casey swallowed hard. "My brother."
"I don't get it," Alex stated flatly. She wanted to understand but she just didn't. "You have a brother and that upsets you?"
Pulling Alex to a drier spot, Casey sat down and gestured for her to do the same. Once they were next to each other, Casey took the blonde's hand. Holding it in her own, she traced the lines of Alex's palm. "I had a brother. A younger one. We used to come here with our nanny when we were little. I haven't been back since our last trip here."
Alex registered the fact that Casey emphasized the word had. "And it's hard for you to be here because of missing him?"
She watched as the redhead swallowed hard and shook her head 'yes.' With her free hand, she tilted her chin up, noticing the tears in her eyes. Leaning in she captured Casey's lips in a soft and delicate kiss. When they finally parted, she whispered, "If we need to go we can."
Casey looked into sincerely sweet blue eyes. "I just want to sit and watch the sunset with you."
Alex nodded in understanding and moved between the redhead's legs. Leaning back into her warm embrace, she felt so safe. Watching the sun drop rapidly into the water and the explosion of colors splash the sky, she knew she'd fallen in love.
That night, Alex awoke to a roar of thunder. She'd never heard such a loud clap. Rain seemed to be hitting the house on all sides at an alarming rate. As fear began to fill her, she knew she needed assurance that this was normal weather.
Slipping from her bed, she worked her way slowly through the house. Watching as the room periodically illuminated itself from bolts of lightening. Reaching Casey's room, she found her partner still sleeping soundly.
Climbing onto the bed, Alex rubbed the younger woman's back. "Casey," she whispered attempting to rouse the woman awake. Not being successful, she attempted again, right as another huge clap of thunder pierced her ears earning a shriek.
With that, Casey shot up in bed. "What!" She shouted in a concerned tone.
As wakefulness filled her, she realized Alex was next to her and registered the storm outside her window. "Hey, what's going on?"
"This storm is massive," the older woman explained in a nervous tone.
"Nasty, is the more appropriate term," the redhead corrected. "Are you scared?"
"Yes," Alex admitted.
"Don't be, it isn't that bad. This house was designed to withstand hurricanes." As she finished, she pulled the other into her arms and held her. "Stay with me."
Alex rolled into her side letting her arm drape across the woman she was falling in love with. It didn't take long for her to lean in and capture Casey's lips in a passionate kiss. She didn't hesitate to run her tongue across the redhead's bottom one asking for entrance, and when she was granted that, she didn't wait for permission before climbing on top of her.
Feeling Casey's warm hands run up her body, Alex moaned softly into her mouth. She'd been dying to feel Casey explore her. So, she didn't hesitate to remove her shirt to give the redhead ample access.
Feeling Casey's mouth begin to run down her neck and capture a taut nipple in her mouth, Alex let out an exotic whimper as she attempted to find purchase against the redhead trying to grind herself against anything to relieve the pressure building between her legs.
Casey only hummed in pleasure as she let the nipple pop from her mouth before taking the other in her mouth with an equally satisfied hum. She loved driving Alex nuts. Hearing the soft pants and moans escape her lips was driving her wild. She felt as if she could come from the blonde's sounds alone.
Alex needed so much more. Grabbing Casey's shirt she began tugging it off. Having the redhead release and back up long enough for the article of clothing to be yanked off, Alex pushed her back onto the pillows. Straddling her leg, Alex took the moment to roll her hips against it moaning as her throbbing center finally earned a little relief. Bending down she captured of one Casey's hard nipples in her mouth, loving the sharp hiss that escaped the redhead's mouth at the contact. Running her hand down between her lovers legs, as she again ground herself against her muscular thigh, she moaned when she discovered just how wet Casey was for her.
Moving to recapture Casey's lips, they shared a passionate kiss before Alex kissed her way down the redhead's body. Slipping her lover's sleep shorts off, she settled herself between her legs wasting no time to take purchase where she was needed the most. Humming at the salty sweet taste of her, Alex slipped two fingers in to her slick depths and worked fast to bring her crashing over the side.
Kissing her way back up the redhead's body, she was shocked at how quickly their positions changed. Casey was back in control of their lovemaking. Working her own way down Alex, seeming to find every spot that made the blonde's toes curl. When she finally connected with her aching center, Alex let out a loud moan of pleasure. She'd dreamt of Casey's mouth attacking her there and finally she was...
The building pleasure didn't take long to create a strong trembling explosion within her. Her cries filling the room, Casey helping her come down from exotic highs before working her way back up her body with lazy kisses.
As they curled into one another, fast falling back to sleep the storm seemed like a distant memory. Yet, the storm building on the horizon would prove to be far more deadly.