The first part is kind of why she chose not to be with Jefferson (chronologically it would go between chapter 9 and 10).

When they were young, every time he took her hand she had pondered on the idea of what it would be like to kiss him. That idea returned when they started working on the project. Before, she could have attributed the desire to youth and sudden freedom from her mother's watchful eye. Now, she didn't know what to think, how to rationalize the thrill she felt every morning knowing she would see him. It escalated the moment she pressed her lips against his skin. Her heart was still racing, even hours after they parted. It was a vaguely familiar feeling, the one she learned not to trust. Feeling which meant that every time something happened that brought a smile to her face, she had to pay for it dearly.

Furthermore, there was that nagging voice in her head telling her that he would betray her again, like he originally did. That he would leave, that it was all part of his new tactic to destroy her. It wouldn't be the first time he fooled her.

"Regina?" he announced his presence as he sneaked into her bed chamber.

She didn't want to be around him. She had fled Rumplestiltskin's castle upon discovering of his betrayal. But she knew he would catch up with her. There was no point in hiding. There weren't many private places where she could be alone. He knew them all so she just came back here, hoping it would not be the first place he would look. And it wasn't. Therefore, her initial response to scream in both anger and pain was subdued. And she almost discarded the idea of killing him.

He kneeled in front of her. Her eyes were shut tight, she couldn't bear to look at him. She just listened to his labored breathing. "I must explain…"

"There is no need." she stood up and walked past him, turning her back to him, "You were hired to trick me and then take me on little trips, entertain his naive student. And now I know."

"That is not exactly how it happened."

"Then how exactly it happened?" she spat out. Right now anger felt easier than anything else.

"I did come into your life under false pretenses. But I couldn't leave. I wanted to, Rumplestiltskin even ordered me to but I couldn't. That's why he told you everything the way he did. Because I didn't want to leave."

"Oh, how honored I am!"

"Hear me out, will you?"

"Why? So you can conjure up another story? Just don't talk." she wouldn't listen to him anymore. Everything he had ever said to her felt like a lie. The magic was welling inside her. The anger, the hurt made it easily available, burning under her skin. A fireball itching to be hurled in his direction.

She was standing by the window, eyes fixed on the horizon. The storm was coming, dark clouds approaching. How befitting. She was such a fool, a silly little girl. A month or so ago, she had had a crazy notion pop into her head. They had been on one of their trips, he'd been selling some story to…whomever. And she remembered, it was so clear in her mind, thinking how lucky she was that he never did that to her. That she was somehow special and that he would never hurt her. She laughed bitterly.

The sound made him shift in his spot. She heard the rustling of the sheets. She thought he would leave or say something, but he didn't. Thus, the silence remained.

They sat there, both drowning in their own thoughts for almost an hour when he began all of a sudden, "You remember when we started traveling together how rude I was? I didn't want to be around you. It was because I knew that once I got to know you I wouldn't be able to leave." he let out a nervous laugh, "And then I got to know you."

He paused. It was her turn to respond. But she refused. She might have been played once, perhaps even twice. But she would not be played again. She would not lose her pride as well.

"You know… I spent countless nights awake in bed, unable to sleep, trying to work up the courage to tell you the truth. Now I wish I had." his voice catches and he clears his throat, "I will tell you all. And maybe, despite everything…"

"Everything is a lot to swallow."

"It is." he agreed and walked up to her. She could feel his presence close behind her, "I think it's best if I left for the day. I will give you time to let this sink in and then we can talk and continue to be…"

"What? What are we, Jefferson?" she faced him looking into his eyes, just as red-rimmed as hers, "Perhaps you should clarify because I don't know."

He was silent.

"Certainly not friends. A friend would not do what you did. Traveling companions?"

He said nothing, just clenched his jaw.

"That's what I thought. Well, from now on we will be only occasional business partners. At best."

"Just…" he started but was cut off by her cold tone.

"Your services are not required. Leave before I call the guards."

No, Regina Mills was no longer a silly little girl.

She was holding onto that feeling like a lifeline. Like a masochist, replaying the torturous scene in her mind again and again. Perhaps she was one, perhaps she was afraid of another failure, perhaps she was doing the right thing and protecting her heart. It wasn't that she didn't trust him or trust herself with him. It would be so simple if it was that. She didn't trust that she could get another now third chance and with him of all people. If it didn't pan out with her soul mate, what chance did she have with the man who once broke her? What could the two of them possibly have? Certainly nothing long lasting. Granted, they both changed, she assumed and hoped, for the better. But was that enough to unburden their past?

It's been a week now since they saw each other in passing only and exchanged awkward hello-s and how are you-s. He gave her a smile which never reached his tired eyes. And she was trying hard to push him out of her mind where he seemed to have quickly found a permanent place.

"Mom!" Henry raised his voice and she turned to him, "What's going on? You've been staring at your plate for 5 minutes."

"It's nothing, Henry. Work."

He nodded, was quiet for couple of seconds then asked. "Did you and Grace's dad have a fight?"

"What?" panic crept into her voice, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"You've been acting weird ever since you stopped seeing each other."

"No, no, no." she was shaking her head painfully aware that that there were far too many no-s. And Henry was very perceptive, "No. We were just working together, you know that."

"Then why are you sad?"

"I am not sad." she summoned the best smile she could, "How could I when I have you?"

"That doesn't mean that you can't have… a friend. You two seemed like you were."

Regina would have scolded him or rolled her eyes at his suggestive tone if she wasn't so damn proud of him being so much like her. "I don't easily make friends but thank you for your concern. Also, I am the parent here and I should be worrying about you. You too look like something is troubling you. Is it school?"

"The coach asked me to join the basketball team."

"That's wonderful. I'm so proud of you, Henry." she cupped his cheeks and kissed him on the forehead.

"I don't think I'll join though." he mumbled.

"Why not?" she asked cautiously.

"What if I'm not good at it? What if the team doesn't like me?"

Regina felt a surge of quilt. He had been alienated for so long during the curse. It was still hard for him to make friends in Storybrooke. People still didn't trust her, not that she could blame them much. But some were reserved around Henry too. "You won't know until you try it, honey. You know, heroes are not just people who fight dragons or demons… or evil queens. Sometimes it's harder to conquer the fear that keeps you closed off. True courage also means to open up and try… well, basketball in your case." she let out a soft laugh. Spending time with the Charmings finally got to her, "My advice is to go for it if it's something you really like." she leaned closer, "And you are good at basketball, I saw you play many times."

That brought a smile to his face. "Thanks mom." he hugged her, "That's a good advice. Maybe you should take it too."

They pulled apart and she narrowed her eyes waiting for what he would say next. He was up to something. Again. And she had no clue to what.

He simply gave her a toothy grin. "I have to call Grace." he ran out of the dining room.

Yes, he was definitively up to something. But that was a problem for another day. Her current problem involved Jefferson and the fact that she cast him from her life. Actually, the bigger, real problem was that she couldn't let go of him. She missed him, she missed him terribly. His silent presence, his company, their little chats. She didn't realize how dependent on him she became. It was so easy with him. They did not have to pretend or try so hard to prove their worth.

Perhaps Henry was right, he usually was. Why not take a chance and try to be at friends? Something more would be unwise, Jefferson too agreed. And she could use a friend, especially someone outside the family. It was decided she would give it a shot. And if he rejected her offer, she would get over it. It wasn't like she would have to see him every day.

Any comments? Suggestions? As always thanks for reading.