"Gaius?"

Gwen set her hands over the older man's shoulders.

"Gaius, is… is everything alright?"

"Gwen?"

"How is Merlin?"

They looked at Merlin who lay still, his chest barely moving.

"Not well. I… I afraid that he is… that he is not going to make it." He felt Gwen's hold on his shoulder tighten.

"His breathing stopped from time to time. Every time it takes more and more time to normalize, and every time it takes a shorter time before it falls again."

Gwen sobbed. She released her grip. "How long?" She asked simply.

"It's after midnight. It's his birthday today. He is born at midday. If he isn't then…" Gaius's voice crashed. He raised his gaze to Gwen. His eyes were red from crying.

"Does Arthur… know?"

Gaius shook his head. "No."

"Should I go and…"

"Let him sleep. He is usually here before dawn." Gaius sighed. Gwen nodded. She didn't really want to leave anyway. She sat on the nearest bench.

()

Arthur was tired, but he couldn't sleep. He wandered around his room picking up some of his belongings, trying to place them in their own spot. But without Merlin it was difficult. Over the years Merlin took the control over the prince's everyday matters. Clothes, weapons, cleaning, horses, every single little detail of the chamber. Arthur sneered. Of course Merlin hadn't been so useless servant than what he stated. Actually Merlin was too good servant in his own way. Because Arthur trusted him, Merlin could do his job the way he wanted. Nowadays Arthur didn't control Merlin at all. Arthur realized how much he depended on Merlin. He remembered how Merlin sat down at his right side at the Round Table. It was the place of trusted advisor. In the left was his heart, in the right was his dearest friend.

Arthur stopped.

If Merlin… if Merlin couldn't survive, what then? What if…

Arthur heart skipped the beat from fear.

"Merlin."

()

I wake up again.

The pain is still there.

I'm afraid.

I'm lost.

It's never the same place.

I close my eyes.

I stop breathing again.

And I dream again.

I use new words and sounds.

They comfort me.

I feel safe.

I drift away.

I'm looking for the way out of these walls.

Out of the silence, out to the living world.

But in my dreams I feel Immortal, there I'm not scared at all, there is no pain.

In my dreams I can leave the hurt behind me.

In my dreams everything is alright, no more death to fear.

But in my dreams, there are no friends of mine.

When I awake they are there, so far and so close at the same time.

I want them know how much I miss them.

But the dark side of me whispers to me.

And I dream again.

I drift away again and again…

Before I know it, the time has come.

Can I do it?

The Choice?

The power is whispering to me.

The darkness is whispering to me.

My friends voices are whispering to me.

The Death is whispering to me.

The Choice?

What should I do…

()

Arthur's hand stopped on the door handle. Overwhelming fear and he shivered all over. Something was wrong. He had to collect all his courage to push the door open. He saw Gwen, crying, her the face image of despair. Like the whole world just crumbled down. And there was Gaius, kneeling beside Merlin, whispering something to the boy who just seemed to sleep.

Slowly Arthur walked Merlin's other side. How peaceful Merlin appeared. Arthur set his palm to Merlin's cheek. It was cold. Merlin didn't responded in any way.

"He is dead." Arthur said, his voice was calm and quiet. Gaius whispering quieted down. Gwen screamed and she collapsed on the floor. Arthur felt himself numb and he just stared Merlin. He let the words sink. He needed to sit down before his legs were going to give up.

"Dead." He repeated and his gaze drifted to Gwen. He vaguely noticed Lancelot holding his bride. He barely heard Gwaine's exclamation when the knight rushed through the door into the room. Only one thing echoed in his mind.

Dead.

Merlin is dead.