Chapter 11: Calm Before The Storm

In homeroom the next day, attendance had crept up slightly as a result of Haruka's enforcement of the rules, but few people's minds seemed to be on school.

"Mai-chan, have you seen Yoshida-san at all lately?" Aoi asked.

"Not at all, Aoi-chan, I don't think I've ever met her," Mai said. "Is she a friend of yours?"

Aoi sadly shook her head. "I'm not sure about that. We get along fairly well, although part of that's politeness rather than friendship. I keep wondering whether I should ask that we call each other by our first names, but I'm not sure if that's too forward for her."

"As close as Aoi and I are," Chie said, "I haven't met Yoshida-san, either."

"So you haven't seen her at all lately?" Mai said to Aoi.

"No, she missed class yesterday and today; she's been fairly unnerved by recent events."

"So have a lot of people," Chie said. "The teachers, executive committee, student council and administration are fooling themselves if they think that enforcement can stem the tide."

"Are they?"Mai thought. She had not been present for many of the meetings, although she did hear the results. To her, it seemed as though Fuuka Academy's student leadership was aware- if, like Mai herself, not completely so- of the true nature of the situation, and was doing what it could to prevent it from spilling over and involving those who were once oblivious.

The unnatural occurrences around the world caused by the Hime Star had everyone on edge, and Fuuka Academy was seen as the epicenter of everything that was going on. It fell on the Himes to defeat the SUEs and those behind the Carnival, lest the world be irrevocably changed.

Natsuki opened the door and saw Shizuru in the Student Council room, working on her laptop.

"Hello, Natsuki," she said.

"Hi, Shizuru… do you know who has vanished recently?"

"This is about last night, isn't it?" Shizuru asked. Natsuki nodded.

"I want to know who exactly vanished as a result of my defeating Otonashi. I feel it's best if I knew the consequences of what I did instead of running from them. The time in which I can simply ignore people vanishing as a result of Himes' Childs being destroyed has passed."

"That's quite admirable," Shizuru said, "but with all the disappearances and students skipping class, it's hard to tell who it could be. Otonashi-san is the kind of person whose beliefs would not likely endear her to anyone, especially given how zealous and militant she was about them, but perhaps she took an interest in someone else?"

Shizuru then handed her laptop to Natsuki, having finished her work.

"All yours, Natsuki. I'll be back in a little while." Shizuru paused at the door. "Just remember, I'm always here for you."

"Shizuru… you shouldn't get too close to me," Natsuki said. "If you're a Hime, you know what the implications are for both of us."

"If it's about the cost of being a Hime's most important person, I'm willing to take that risk," Shizuru said. "Besides, it's not possible for you to simply deny who you love most. Kirihara-san might have been able to care only for herself, but human beings simply cannot close themselves off from others in such a way, much less endure the loneliness that follows."

"Thank you, Shizuru…." Natsuki said. "I'm just beginning to realize just how correct that last part of what you said is."

Shizuru smiled, but as she walked off, she began to think.

"Yes, it wouldn't be so bad to be Natsuki's most precious person… but does she really care for me in that way?"

"So everyone has some kind of 'special person' of their own?" Mikoto asked Mai while sitting in their room that afternoon.

"That's correct, Mikoto, it could be a lover, a family member, a close friend or someone you admire," Mai said. "And unfortunately, if a Hime or a SUE loses her Child, their most precious person dies as a result."

Mai had a moment of hope; perhaps Nagi was lying and the destruction of a Child did not result in someone's death. But when Akane was defeated, Mariko vanished as a result, and while Mai was unaware of who Alyssa, Sekai and Shizune considered their most precious person, the fact that she did not know the identity of such a person did not mean that no one had died.

Mikoto was thinking the same thoughts, and after a moment, started to wonder about Mai's past actions.

"Mai… when that girl attacked you earlier- the same one you saw inside the time portal- you told me not to fight back. Is it because of this rule?"

"That's precisely it. If I were to defeat someone else, I would kill someone, possibly someone who had no connection to this fight in the first place, or even one of my friends or loved ones. If I lose, someone dear to me, possibly you, Takumi, or Yuuichi, will die. Natsuki worries she killed an innocent bystander in addition to the SUE who threatened all our lives. We don't even know whether Otonashi-san or the person she held dearest to her knew the risks."

"How do you know who's most important to you?" Mikoto said. "And how do they get to be that way?"

"Many people have asked that question in the past, Mikoto" Mai said. "I can't say for certain, but love is something that grows over time, and sometimes in places you'd never expect it to thrive. I couldn't stand Yuuichi at first but now, I've come to love him… and fear losing him in this battle."

"There's a lot of people I love around this school," Mikoto said. "You, Natsuki, Yukino, Chie, Aoi, Nao…" Mikoto continued with her list. "... and, of course, Ani-ue, whom I have been searching for all this time. I don't like to think that only one of us will make it out with her most important person alive or we'll become each other's enemies."

"Naïve as it might sound, I know this is not a zero-sum game, and believe it's possible for all of us, rather than just one, to make it out with the people we care about," Mai said. "But the SUEs don't seem to realize this, and apart from Suou-san, who might never even have encountered us, they seem bent on killing us if we get in their way, possibly so that they can accomplish their own individual goals, even if they risk their loved one's life in doing so. Reasoning with them is unlikely to do anything, although I hope to try when I can."

"So what do we do in that case?" Mikoto said.

"I'm not sure," Mai said. "But as much as you want to protect me, it may be that the solution to all this, if there is an alternative, does not involve fighting or defeating anyone. At the very least, I hope this is the case."

At that point, Mai's cell phone began to ring. Checking the caller ID, Mai noticed that it was from the hospital, and a feeling of dread came over her.

"Hello, Tokiha Mai speaking," she said, her voice wavering.

"Tokiha Mai-san?" a nurse on the other end said. "We have an urgent report regarding your brother…"

After hearing the report, Mai got up.

"Sorry Mikoto, I have to go, something's come up with Takumi!" she said before running out the door.

Mikoto was left alone with her thoughts and began to wonder about her relationships with others. Mai was, as always, a close friend and an incredibly compassionate individual who taught her much about love for others. But what kind of love did Mai show for her? Mikoto often feared that she was seen as a charge or a child under her protection, much like her brother, rather than a true equal, as well as if this attitude was displayed intentionally or subconsciously when Mai had asked her not to fight against certain opponents.

"Do you think the same things too, Takumi?" Mikoto thought. "Do you ever wonder if Mai fails to realize that you're stronger than she thinks?"

About an hour later, Mai left Takumi's hospital room, where he had stayed since his recent collapse in his dorm room, and was shocked at what he had told her and what she had heard from the doctor. The goal she had worked toward for much of her life had seemingly been accomplished; he had been approved for a heart transplant in America. But he was leaving her behind in Japan, determined not to be a burden on her.

When Takumi told Mai that, his words had went through her like a sword. She had realized from her trip into her past how much caring for Takumi had defined her. But now, she was being forced to give up on caring for him and worse, heard that he seemingly no longer needed her.

"For whose sake was I taking care of him for all those years? His sake? My mother's? Or was it actually my own?"

On the way out of the hospital, Mai walked by the wing for comatose patients, and saw Nao emerging from one of the rooms, lost in thought. Even though Shizune's defeat had made it safe to go into town again, she had not sought out perverts to rob since she had gone back in time, finding no satisfaction in the act after having been forced to forfeit the opportunity to thwart or exact revenge on the robbers who killed her family. While Shizune was active, she served as a diversion for her thoughts, but with no SUEs active, she found her mind returning to her trip to the past, and could not escape questioning herself.

"Tokiha? What are you doing here?" Nao asked.

"I was coming to visit Takumi," Mai said. She idly glanced over to the plate on the wall with the room number, and noticed that the patient there had the surname Yuuki. "What about you, Nao-chan?"

Nao paused a moment, realizing that Mai, having seen the nameplate, would likely draw her own conclusions. "You've seen this much, and you probably have your own theories after our time traveling adventure, so I might as well show you the rest." She led Mai into the room, and pointed toward a comatose woman with short brown hair lying on the bed, an oxygen mask attached to her face.

"This is my mother," Nao said. "Several years ago, my house was robbed, my father was killed and my mother went into a coma from her injuries. The government pays to feed and house the lowlifes responsible, while I got shipped off to an orphanage, my mother lies in here, and my father is over there," she said, gesturing toward a small urn containing her father's ashes. "And as you may or may not have guessed, when we went back in time, to prevent the entire universe from possibly unraveling, I had to let all of this happen."

"I'm sorry…. "Mai said.

"You're fucking sorry?!" Nao snarled. "Pretty much everyone who knows of what kind of crap happened to me gives me that look. It's a small gesture of kindness that you can make without having to give a rat's ass about the recipient. The people looking after me did nothing but that over all those years, caring for me as long as their job required then handing me off to someone else. But none of those self-righteous assholes had a damn clue how it felt to have everyone who cared for you ripped away for no good reason without true justice to the perpetrators… and neither do you, Tokiha!"

Mai paused for a moment. Nao's words hat hit close to home, for reasons she did not expect. Mai began to rethink how she had treated Takumi over all these years. Was caring for him a goal in and of itself? Or was it a means to an end, to prove her responsibility and atone for her causing his illness and her mother's death?

"You're right, Nao-chan, I don't understand." Mai said somberly. "Several years have passed, and I still miss my parents, but I've been able to accept their loss, as well as it being partly my fault. I don't know what I would do if one of them were in a coma and there were a small chance of them waking up to tantalize me. I also don't know what I would do if Takumi weren't around. It's been my responsibility to care for him, but that and his company have also been what keeps me going; if I weren't in his life, what would he do? What would I do if I were not responsible for him? But now that he's going to America for treatment, I may have to find out the answers to those questions."

Nao stood, speechless, for a moment. Mai had not indignantly or self-righteously defended her own actions, as Nao expected of someone like Mai, whom she perceived as someone who prided herself on her responsibility and resilience. Mai also had not broken down in pain from the scathing verbal barrage. She had doubted herself, was starting to reconsider things she had not questioned before, and stood poised to make a decision about her life.

"I have to go, Nao-chan," Mai said. "But thank you for talking to me. I was so wrapped up in self-pity I lost perspective."

"Are you saying that I proved that I'm worse off than you?" Nao said, confused about Mai's gratitude and indignant at the possibility of being pitied once again.

"That's not it," Mai said. "I realized that the problems in my life that I'm currently worried about are not the ones that matter."

Mai then took her leave, comforted only slightly. Once again, she knew what to do- Takumi had to go to America to accept the vital operation- but the question remained of how she would accept it. This was not merely a case of being forced to make a decision quickly and merely live with the consequences, as she had in her trip to the past, but to somehow come to terms with her brother's decision and understand his reasons, a more gradual process.

Nao stood at her mother's bedside for a few minutes. She briefly thought back to how her mother had looked when she was brought in, covered in bandages over wounds that the doctors said nearly sent her to the morgue along with Nao's father. She then thought of herself back then, feeling abandoned, betrayed and disillusioned with people in the world.

Then she began to wonder- what had she done since the robbery? Mai, for all Nao saw her as selfish and hypocritical, had something to work toward since losing her parents. But for Nao, there was nothing to ease her bitterness and loneliness until she became a Hime. Now, she was slowly realizing that her pervert hunts did not bring her any satisfaction, much less real peace, and virtually nothing she done had any constructive results. This was driven home when, in spite of having received the powers of a Hime, Nao realized she could not change the past or reclaim that which she valued most.

Looking at her mother's comatose form much as she had back then, Nao came to a realization.

"Even after all this time, I'm still the same kid who just lost her parents," she thought. "No wonder Tokiha probably thinks I'm pathetic."

Midori sat in her office, perusing information related to the Carnival. Her mind wandered back to the teenagers and young women under her wing. They were not warriors, nor were they exceptionally talented in fields relating to combat; most were in barely above-average physical shape. They had disparate personalities that often clashed with each other. They had many problems weighing on their minds, whether in their distant past or in the more recent months. They had some unresolved conflicts between them; Midori was still wondering what, if anything at all, truly happened between Nao and Yukariko, although she was pleased that Yukariko had apologized for suspecting Nao and Nao was willing to at least tolerate Yukariko.

And yet they were the world's best hope at this point. They had stood against many Orphans in the past. They had freed the school from an invading army and destroyed a satellite-like Child that could destroy virtually any building it targeted. They had defeated three individuals designed to be perfect. And they were growing closer as a team; Nao and Natsuki, the two loners of the group, had slowly begun to accept each other and the others.

Midori realized the darkest days were yet to come, and the Himes would have to improve themselves to face the challenges that would test them. Indeed, those who faced problems as grave as this one were almost never completely ready from the outset. But she believed they could rise to the occasion, defeat the SUEs and overcome their own inner demons.

Author's Note

We now stand a little before the halfway point in this story, and so this chapter and the next two will focus on the characters, showing how far they've come and what inner struggles await them ahead.

As painful as it is to lose close friends and loved ones, it can also be painful in its own way when you lose someone you didn't know that well, but were starting to like and get to know. If you've seen Puella Magi Madoka Magica, you can see at least two, and possibly three, examples of this, none of which can be discussed without spoilers and one of which sets off the main story.

As close as Mai and Mikoto are, it should be noted that one point of conflict in their relationship is Mai occasionally acting too "motherly" toward Mikoto and telling her not to fight, as seen in Episode 7 around the time Mikoto comes into contact with Nao, Episode 19 (Mai scolds Mikoto over attacking Yukino) and in Episode 20 (Nao claims Mikoto told her that Mai treats her "like a kid or her servant").

I skipped over the scene with Mai and Takumi, since it goes almost completely like in canon.

Nao seems to be, like others in her circumstances, someone who would despise what she sees as pity of any sort, as evidenced by her jab at Shizuru for sounding like a school counselor just before their first fight in canon.

Keep in mind that some of these plotlines will have different resolutions from the canon events, in part because violence is not breaking out. For example, Mai will have a chance to come to terms with her feelings about Takumi going to America; remember that the battle in which he died took place the same night he told her the news, leaving her too little time to overcome her initial shock or the other events that night. In another instance, Shiho will never kiss Yuuichi, because Mai does not happen to be in a position where she can see it happen.