AN: Well, I would like to say that Adam's little secret would be the first issue that our lovely couple would deal with... I would like to say that. ;) Oh, but them just getting back together without dealing with the past would be way too easy. I may paint Kim a bit harshly in the chapter. A bit. Or maybe it is the only way I can understand the messed up storyline that was Season 3. Got to fix what is broken in order to move on. Time to choose that bridge, Kim. Happy Reading!

"May the Bridges I Burn Light the Way" - Unknown

I realize that Adam and I still had things to deal with. Issues. A whole clown car full of them. I wasn't focused on that when he finally got home that night. I was enjoying the moment. Living for the day. I was full on smiling as we were eating our take-out meal on the couch as the television had whatever playing in the background. I just did not expect to have to deal with my fun bag of issues that first night.

My phone began to vibrate on the arm of the couch and I glanced over quickly thinking that it would just be a text message. Um. No. Seeing Roman's name flashing across the screen that he was calling…again… was not something that I was prepared to deal with. I'd been dodging his calls. I could see that Adam was waiting to see what I was going to do with my phone. I had a decision to make. Keep dodging both of them or deal with it. If I hide the call, was I being any better than Adam taking his uncle's call in the bathroom? Probably not. I picked up my phone and decided to just deal with the elephant in the room. If this was going to blow up, better make it now before I got any deeper.

"Hello."

"Kim, finally. Are you okay? Platt told me about your apartment. What in the hell happened?"

Well, shit. Thanks, Platt. Not that the man hadn't been trying to call, but I knew that the frequency had picked up the last couple of days.

"I'm fine, Sean. Not sure what happened. It's still under investigation."

At Sean's name, I could feel Adam tense up next to me. He sets his plate down on the coffee table and gets up from the couch. I feel my heart sink some because I know the last name he wanted to hear come out of my mouth was that one. I place my forehead in my hand as I try to concentrate on what Roman is saying.

"So where are you staying? I'm sure hotel living is getting old."

"I'm not staying in a hotel. I'm at Adam's. I'm living with Adam."

The phone is dead quiet. I can literally hear the music that Sean is listening to in his apartment in San Diego. I wait for him to digest that news and am about to turn around to look for where Adam is when Sean responds.

"You're living with Ruzek. Really? What the hell, Kim? What in the world, was I? A speed bump for you two?"

The anger in his voice was plain as day. No denying that, but I thought my feelings towards him were pretty clear when I did not follow him when he left. I've barely taken his calls since then and when I have they have been so strained that I don't understand the point any more. I take a breath and begin to rub my forehead again to deal with the stress.

"Sean…"

"I'm serious, Kim. I told you that I loved you."

Oh, that did it.

"No, Sean. You told me that you might love me and if you want to see yourself as a speed bump? Feel free."

"Guess I do. You didn't come with me, did you? And you're back with him."

"No, I did not. If I wanted to be there, I would be."

"Well, I guess that says a lot."

"I can't give you what you want, Sean. I was never going to be able to."

I hear the line go dead and I just place the phone on the coffee table. Well, that was just a bucket of fun. I run my fingers through my hair to get it out of my face and pull it slightly due to the stress. When Adam speaks, to say that I am shocked that he is still in the room would be an understatement. How I don't jump is beyond me. I just take in what he says.

"Why would Roman call himself a speed bump?"

How do I respond to that? I continue to look at the coffee table and not at Adam when I respond.

"Because I chose you and my life in Chicago over him."

"He loves you."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement. The pain in Adam's voice absolutely kills me. I turn to look at him and that exact pain is showing in his eyes.

"He thinks he does."

"You don't think the man knows his own heart?"

"He's been in love with practically every partner he has had. No, I don't."

"What can't you give him?"

I look away from Adam again. When I say this, I know he is going to know the type of person I am. What I am capable of.

"I can't tell him that I made a mistake. I can never say that I love him or that I am coming to San Diego to be with him. I can't blame him for being mad. After everything… I would hate me too."

"You don't love him. You didn't love him."

I feel numb. I'm diving over the cliff. Might as well. I basically napalmed my relationship with Sean. Might as well see how strong this relationship with Adam is going to be.

"No, I did not."

I can't hear Adam. I have no idea where in the room he is. I guess it makes it easier to admit the rest.

"I used him to feel better. To try and feel whole which I knew was a bad idea. I did it anyway because for a time he made me feel special. He made me feel important when I did not. Because it was the closest thing to love that I thought I was ever going to get again. I'd lost you so…"

"You never lost me, Kim. Not really."

I turn to look at him now. He's holding a glass of whiskey which he looks at and then places it back on the kitchen island. His hands go into his pockets. When he looks back up at me, I see the last thing I ever expected to see. Regret.

"I love you, Kim. I've always loved you. I made the biggest mistake of my life by not making sure that you knew that. That you knew that I wanted to be with you for the rest of our lives."

"Why didn't you?"

I watch Adam's eyes close and then open.

"I was scared. Scared that I would end up in something that would turn bad. I didn't realize that losing you would be far worse. Seeing you with someone else was my own version of hell."

Adam picks up the glass and knocks the contents back.

"Thinking about you with Roman makes my skin crawl."

The look on his face is of disgust. This is what I was afraid of. That he would never be able to get over this. I look away. I can't see this part. I can feel the tears begin to fall down my face.

"But I did that. I pushed you there. Kim, I'm so sorry."

I'm in shock. Did he? Did he really just? I'm turning back to him and when I make eye contact with him he nods his head.

"I love you. I still love you."

"I love you too. It wasn't your fault. I should have had faith in you."

"I gave you no reason to."

"Isn't that what faith is?"

Adam rubs at his chest as he is turning away from me. He turns back and drops his hand.

"Can we just say that we were both at fault? I want you back. I want us."

"I want us, too."

Adam lets a breath out and starts walking towards the couch. I get up and meet him half way. Adam's arms go around my waist as mine go around his neck. Our lips meet and I feel like my heart could explode. He loves me. He still loves me. I can feel it in the way our lips move together. I feel it in the caress of his hands on my skin when they make their way under my shirt. I see it in his eyes when he pulls back and cups my face like I am the most precious thing in the world. He was right. I am his. He is mine. Adam lifts me up into his arms and begins to carry me down the hallway.