Chapter Ten

Why?

As the wooden doors closed, Zack turned to face Cloud. He knew he would have to deal with war on Shinra, or lack there of eventually but first he just wanted to know how his friend was. He really hadn't spoken to him properly since.. Well since before the showdown at Nibelheim reactor. Instantly he found himself feeling bad for having run off with Aerith.

"So your fitter then ever, but how about your head. You said you didn't remember anything before, has everything come back now?"

"Well the last five years aren't so good but that pretty much because I wasn't around for them I guess. Everything else though. Modeoheim, Nibelheim. All of it is very clear to me now." Cloud almost glared at Zack, his body held with a confidence that was new to him.

"Yeah, not best of memories I guess..." This was going badly. Cloud seemed full of fight, which was probably understandable. Hadn't he been the same when he come round from the SOLDIER treatment. It gave you strength anew and boundless energy. He could understand how his friend could feel reborn and ready to take on the world.

"So, you never answered my question."

Zack laughed, those paying close attention able to detect the slight nervousness about it. "Question? I don't remember there being a question?"

"What's our next move. Now that I'm up and fighting, we can stop running and take the fight to them." Cloud was animated, pacing as he spoke with arms emasising his words.

"Why?" The question seemed to throw the blonde for a moment, his movement sizing as his face quickly turned from confusing to disbelief."

"Why? WHY?" Cloud looked stared at Zack, mako blue orbs looking through him. "Why the hell do you think? They are to blame for everything. My hometown, Angeal. Genesis." he paused, breathing deep. "Tifa. All because of Shinra. They locked us away for four years." he had begun to slowly pace away from Zack, before turning with a yell. "I'VE BEEN AS GOOD AS DEAD FOR FIVE YEARS!"

Zack was stunned. He had never seen Cloud like this. Part of what he said was true. So many atrocities, so many sins. "I know. It's not been easy for me either. Shinra aren't blameless, but they aren't all to blame. Its never that simple. Angeal, Genesis. They may have been made by Shinra, but they had a choice. They both saw that at the end. Sephiroth is to blame for Nibelheim and Hojo for what came after." He flared as he mentioned the scientist. People were flawed, but most had their redeeming features. Hojo though, just his name made his blood run hot and his fingers twitch for a hilt.

"Remember the promise to Aerith, don't let it bother you."

"Sephiroth was a Shinra experiment, how can you say he is to blame and not them. Raised by them as a child. Whatever he was, they made him what he was." Cloud countered angrily. He really wasn't going to give up on this Shinra vendetta was he.

"Well I don't have a plan. I don't intend to fight them. All fighting has ever done is killed or nearly killed nearly everyone I've ever cared about. Shinra think we are dead. We can live a normal, unassuming happy life somewhere."

"I'm not like you Zack." Cloud turned his back, head and shoulders slumping slightly. "You got the girl of your dreams. That can't happen for me."

"But it can." Zack responded with enthusiasm. If Aerith could calm his raging soul he was sure Tifa could do the same for Cloud. "Tseng said that there was no girl there when the clean up arri-"

"I know," Cloud interrupted. "I remember most that conversation. I was out of it, but still aware. It still doesn't change anything though. Even if she lives. She never liked me. She was just a silly childhood crush." With a deep breath, he lifted himself, turning back to face Zack. "So you see. I'm going to fight. For me, there is nothing else to do."

Zack could see he couldn't win this fight. There was no changing Cloud's mind, at least not now. There was little you could do argue against betrayal and a broken heart. His dilemma was that he knew Cloud couldn't do it alone. Sure, he was a strong a SOLDIER now. Maybe. He was still raw though, a recruit that didn't make the grade. He had seen too many times what could happen to SOLDIER even of experience who began to think they were invincible.

"Ok, I get it. You are angry, rightly, and you feel like you want to fight. Just, before you rush of think a little. Do you really want to fight, or is it just the SOLDIER thats now in you that wants to fight. Your not the first person to take a Mako bath and come out thinking you can take on the world." His face was almost buried is his hands as he took a few seconds to think over where he went next. "If your totally sure on it, I can't stop you. If you do wanna do this though, you can't do it alone."

"Then we should do it together."

"I've told you Cloud, I'm through with it. When I was a kid, I dreamed of being hero. It's all I ever wanted."

"That's what I want too. Taking out Shinra, that would make us heroes." Cloud brightened, his body almost pleading, urging Zack to join.

"Maybe it would. For a while. I realised something over the last year though. Everyone thinks they are a hero. Heroes only become heroes by hurting others whom believe themselves to be heroes. The world doesn't need heroes. Without heroes, there can't be villians. What the world needs is for us to be normal. That's she is now my dream. With her, I can be normal. Make people happy without hurting anyone."

"But what about Shinra?"

"What about them? They created SOLDIER because there were threats to them. Now there isn't. Since the war with Wutai, all the problems have been with SOLDIERs. Genesis tried to destroy the world because he was ill. In his head, he thought it was the right thing to do, and that by doing it, he was a hero. Sephiroth thought he would make the world better. They are gone now. We were the last threats to Shinra, and they think we are dead."

Cloud was now leaning against a pew near Zack, head bowed as he took in Zacks words. After a short pause, Zack continued.

"The way I see it, if they don't have to fight they won't. I'll never forget what they did, I don't know if i'll ever forgive it. I don't want to let them have the rest of my life too though. If I fight, I just waste more years of my life because of them. More then that, if I fight them, its not just me that pays. I can't let Aerith down and its not just her. You were in the infantry. You know how it is. You just follow orders. Your doing your job. Back in the wastelands, before we were saved. Do you know how many I had to kill, just because they were doing their jobs. They probably had families. Kids won't see their dad again. I don't want to have to do that again." His own head had been bowed for much of his speech, but as he finished he looked at Cloud, gazing at his blonde mop, waiting to read his face when he finally looked up.

"I understand. I won't ask you to come with me again. I can't stand by and do nothing though." Cloud finally looked up with determination still bright in his blue eyes.

"In that case was speaking to a guy earlier, he seemed to be looking for military personal with a grudge against Shinra." Zack got up from the pew, more relaxed now that he was resigned to fate. "His name is Barrett and said if I changed my mind to check him out at Seventh's Heaven. Its a bar in the sector seven slums. I'm guessing since you've got that SOLDIER glow about you now, you'll fit the bill just fine."

Cloud was up in a flash, pacing towards the door before Zack reached out and stopped him.

"Cloud wait! Don't go yet. I told Aerith we would both come for dinner. A real cooked dinner Cloud. I know what you've eaten for the last five years don't forget, so I know its been at least that long for you too!"

For the first time since Zack had walked through the door, Cloud laughed.

"I'll take that as a yes then?" Zack smiled, walking towards the door with his friend following as he caught his breath.

"Yeah, sounds good. I guess I need to to Aerith anyway. Do you think she will let me stay at the church?" It was Zack's turn to laugh now.

"I think she said she had enough beds for us to stay at hers if you wanted."

Cloud stopped for a moment as they reached the door, turning back before following on.

"Oh. I might still ask. I like it here."

A/N: Thanks again to Lana for the review. Thanks to all the readers in silent too.