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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from boy meets world! Blah, blah, blah...

I have taken the storyline from a few other fics that Shawn is abused by his father, but with a little twist; this now takes place after Shawn's mother has left him. All the rest is completely original.

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PLEASE READ WARNING: This story contains serious elements including severe physical, mental, sexual and emotional abuse, violence, Vulgarities, prostitution, Child endangerment, and the foster care system. You have been warned - if you want to read on, please do. There are also elements such as comedy, romance, friendship, the prevail of human spirit, criminal investigation, adventure, coming of age tales, bravery and thrills. It is a very diverse story, with a lot going on, however you may need a strong stomach and possibly a box of tissues if you're very sensitive - so sit tight, hold onto that cup of tea, and read on.

------------------------- Chapter 10: Stare -------------------------

Shawn stumbles through the school hallways. He'll probably be let off for being late seeing as everyone now knew he'd been beaten up and all. The hallways are mostly empty, with the exception of Harley and his gang who sit around near the bins at they're usual spot. He figures for a moment that they might come over and make trouble with him. Only they just stare at him as he trudges past them.

Eventually he finds his first period class. History. With Mr. Feeney. Feeney always has an eye for things. He can usually tell when something is really wrong. He's always treated Shawn a little different from the other kids who get thrown into his office. As if he knew something. He can't know what'd happened to him now or he'd have done something straight away. At least Shawn figures he would. A part of him wants to be found out. A part of him wants to be taken away from all this, but another part of him wants to stay with Cory and his family; this school, wants his secrets to stay secret.

"Ah, Shawn Hunter, so nice of you to join us" Mr. Feeney says as he enters the classroom.

"Sorry I'm late Mr. Feeney" he replies and drags himself towards his seat.

It's near the back, just in front of Cory. He can see Cory's wide eyes and concerned expression as he approaches his seat. He feels like everyone is staring at him. They probably are, but he feels like they know the truth. Like they can see deep inside his soul and drag out those memories for the world to see.

"Shawn" Cory whispers once Mr. Feeney has begun teaching again. "Are you okay?"

Shawn nods. He hates that question. Is anyone ever really just okay?

"I came round to see you again, but you're dad came out and locked the door, he told me to go away...he said you were resting, why is your dad being so weird?"

'Great now Cory is suspicious of Dad...' Shawn thinks to himself. '...Just what I need'.

"Erm, he's well, he's been finding it rough, with work an' all, ya know how it is" Shawn lies.

Only it isn't a lie. Not really. His dad must have trouble with work; after all he's making Shawn do it all.

"Oh, right" Cory mumbles.

He isn't sure if what Shawn is telling him is true, but he can't just say: 'are you lying?'

Shawn and Cory stay mostly quiet through out the rest of the lesson. Cory doesn't know what to say to Shawn any more and Shawn knows he wouldn't know what to say back anyway.

The bell goes off and as usual the other students scramble out of the classroom and into the hallways with their constant nattering and heavy footsteps. As they're talking gets louder and louder it begins to anger Shawn off. He wishes it weren't so loud. Like everything around him ignores him and he starts to feel lonelier than ever. Only when it is quiet he wishes it were loud again, because he feels like all eyes are on him and everyone knows his dirty little secret. He doesn't know what he wants any more.

Him and Cory head out of the door and down the corridor. It's still crowded and loud. He begins to turn his head towards Cory when he catches sight of a girl who looks to be about his age. Her hair is light shade of blonde and her eyes a dark hazel colour. She's staring down at her shoes as she walks, so much so that she almost bumps into someone, and as she does she apologises meekly and continues up the corridor toward him.

"Shawn..."

Shawn watches her turn around and go down another corridor. He doesn't know why, but he has a weird vibe, almost like goose bumps. Like this girl is more than just a girl walking down a corridor.

"Shawn?"

He doesn't even blink. He just stares... why does this girl make him so nervous?

"Shawn, hello, anyone in there?"

He finally blinks away these thoughts and turns to Cory.

"Yeah, wha...what's wrong?"

"Well, nothing, I was just looking for you somewhere, inside that head of yours. But ah, there you are at last, now come on, we gotta get to class"

"All right Cor, what's ze lesson now?" he says, putting on a fake accent.

"PE, what was up with you just then? What were you lookin'..."

Shawn stops.

"Ah... Listen Cory, I'm gonna take a time out from lessons"

"What? You can't do that, a time out?"

"Cory, it's an expression, look - I just got beat up; I can't do P.E."

He really can't. He hasn't run since before the black and white room. That's why he's been so late. It had taken him so long to get ready. He'd had to clean up, he missed the bus, and he had to take a very painful walk to school. He definitely can't run. Not now. He is getting used to it, sure, and in a few days the pain will probably begin to fade. The physical pain anyway.

"But Shawn, you got beat up like two weeks ago, the bruises look like they've almost gone...unless you broke anything, I don't understand..."

"Cory - what are you saying?" Shawn questions in a frustrated tone.

"I don't know, I just; I thought you were better, why are you getting upset?"

"I'm not, I'm not. Sorry, it's just that I'm not totally better yet, okay? I need to take a break from all of this"

And with that he walks away in the opposite direction.

"I'll see you at break Cor" he yells back, shaking the back of his hand above his head as a goodbye signal.

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Shawn sits on the steps of the school stairs. He sighs. How is he going to do this? He can't avoid PE every week and it doesn't look like Chet's going to stop using him to get money any time soon.

'But you said you'd run away - you said you'd run away and never come back' he reminds himself. 'I did, but, but what about my friends, I wasn't thinking straight when I said that. As long as I can get through it each time, it'll be okay, once I'm eighteen I can do whatever I want...what am I thinking...'

'No you wont.' The sternly hoarse voice returns.

'Hey... We haven't spoken in a while' Shawn responds in his mind.

'You won't make anything of yourself' it replies, 'you'll just be a pathetic rent boy you're whole life'

Shawn punches the wall. It hurts like hell, but he has to let his anger out some how.

"No, No, I won't..." he accidentally screams out loud, "I WON'T!"

"You won't what kid?" comes a voice from behind him.

Shawn turns his head to see Janitor Bud standing there.

"What are you doing here kid?" he questions.

This is the wrong place to have a tantrum with yourself.

"Nu...nothing, I err.. I have to go" Shawn replies, mumbling.

He sets off down the corridor again; trying to push himself a little faster with every step. He wishes he could run. Damn it! He can't even run away, how pathetic is that? He stops at the school exit. Maybe the voice is right this time. Maybe he should run. Never come back. He leans against the wall near the door, feeling a little sick. Why does everything have to be so damn complicated?

He lets himself drop into another sitting position on the floor. 'I'll just wait here, until the bell goes, and Cory comes out' he tells himself. He rubs at his eyes with the side of his palms. He yawns. He feels so tired that he could just fall asleep right there, right then...

(BRING...BRING...BRING..)

Shawn yawns once more. The bell finally went. He rises from his spot on the floor and goes to look for Cory. He finds him sitting with Topanga near the lockers.

"Shawnie, where ya been?" Cory calls over to him.

He continues to get closer to them, not watching where he's going.

"Hey" he motions with a light-hearted salute.

He's almost there, when someone walks into his path abruptly and bumps into him. He trips at a odd angle and grabs out for something to keep him balanced. Only he grabs the person who's bumped into him and they both go flying.

Shawn lets out a small yelp as he hits the ground. He screws his eyes up with pain. When he opens them again he sees a girl kneeled on the ground beside him. Many of the students are laughing at them. Shawn can't see her face because she's gathering up her books.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean, to..." he trails off as she turned to face him.

It's the girl. The girl he'd seen before walking down the corridor watching only her feet. The one he had felt a weird vibe because of. He stares again, except this time she notices. This time she stares back, somewhat confused. They both look confused.

"Oh, yeah...no it's okay, never mind" she replies, her eyes shifting from side to side.

"No, it's erm, not alright..." he replies, beginning to help her with her books. He pulls himself up from the floor and extends his hand out to help her up.

"...I shouldn't have been so clumsy... Need any help?" he asks, wanting to help her. Everyone else in the corridors, and their absent minded laughter disintegrate before them and its only him and her. He gives her a shy awkward smile as she takes his helping hand. She looks up at him for a moment before actually taking it.

"Thanks" she says meekly.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about walking into you, I wasn't looking where I was going..."

"And the dragging me down with you part" she interrupts with a nervous giggle and an innocent glance from Shawn to her feet again.

Shawn smirks, "Yeah, sorry about that too, I guess I just reached out and grabbed the first thing I could feel..." He clears his throat. "Erm, that sounded a little weird, but I'm sure, I can save my self from total embarrassment, erm... yeah, just give me a moment here... nope, no I cant..."

She laughs softly and somehow it makes Shawn smile.

"So, are you laughing at me or..." he says

"Yeah, I think I'm pretty much laughing at you" she replies, letting a small smirk crease her mouth.

"Ah well, it's nothing new I suppose" he takes a fleeting look down at the ground and then back up at her. What is this feeling of nervousness and sensitivity he has acquired through being around this girl? What is it about her that catches him off guard so suddenly?

"Wha...What grade are you in?" he asks.

She opens her mouth to answer him when another voice interrupts their conversation, and breaks the bubble around them.

"Shawn... Shawn?"

It's Cory's voice.

"Shawn?"

Shawn turns and looks around. He now sees Cory - Cory and Topanga making there way towards him.

"Yeah, guys, Oh - I tripped over, and this girl..." he turns back around to the girl, but she's gone. He looks down the corridor for a sign of her, but he can't see any.

"What girl?" Topanga asks, Cory holding her hand, the puppy lovers that they are.

"She, she was just here a second ago" Shawn replies.

He looks around again but cannot see her. Most of the students have cleared out, outside. There isn't many left. She's gone.

"I didn't even get her name," he murmurs under his breath.

"Oh, don't worry" Topanga begins.

"She goes to this school right, so you'll see her again" Cory ends her sentence.

They'd been doing that a lot lately. It had been freaking Shawn out.

"Yeah, I guess so..."

He looks down the corridor one more time and sighs.

"I hope so."

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