A/N sorry I would have had this chapter posted a lot sooner but fan
fiction would not let me post anything for the longest time :( If any one
knows why fanficiton would not allow me to post or get reviews please email
me!! Either at: kittenofmystery@aol.com (also my aol instant messenger name
) or chihiroandkohaku@yahoo.com (will be my yahoo messenger name when I
down load the messenger....) thank you very much :)
Disclaimer: I do not own spirited away ... I am not that creative to write a story like spirited away I can only some what come close to a sequel and expand my genius off of that. If you think that I even have anything to do with spirited away, I am sorry to let you down the only thing I know about Japan is their food is rally good, and I have a Japanese dress that I wore to my graduation... other then that I just love anime... I DON'T OWN SPIRITED AWAY!!!!! SO STOP BUGGING ME I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER FROM THIS STORY EXCEPT: Princess Kiawauna (who was a girl that sat next to me in my seventh hour choir class) and Shahana... and I have no clue where the name came from it just sounded cool! Do people even both reading author notes? Because if you are I think its almost a waist of time unless you are as bored as I am... so yeah... any way....:
ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER...
Chapter Eleven: Eyes don't lie
"a dream is just a dream right?" Haku paced Nervously
"Stop pacing! Your making me nervous too! .... Yes ... yes it is just a dream we have gone over this time after time! Why wont you just tell me what the dream was about maybe I can help you understand it better" Lin sat down on the balcony of the Girls sleeping area watching Haku pace. It had been almost two weeks since the dream and it still haunted him. Every night in his sleep the same dream played over and over.
"you will just laugh at me"
"no I wont I promise... I promise I will not laugh and if I laugh then you can hit me! Ok.. there you have my word now tell me what the dream is so you can be normal again. Your starting to worry me Haku and I don't like this."
"ok... since you promised... this is all I remember:
I remember laying there in my bed and I could hear the thunder crashing he lightning was extremely bright because I could see everything inside my entire room every time it flashed across the sky. I tried to cuddle up with Chihiro because the room was starting to get very cold.. there was some kind of draft" Haku took a deep breath and swallowed the lump that was in his throat.. his eyes were starting to form with tears. "but Chihiro wasn't there... there was no trace of her in the room at all... the only thing that I could see that was hers is the dragon necklace that her mother gave her before she left the human world... the one I didn't even know she had until the dream. How could I possibly dream about something I didn't know existed, and then come to find out that it is real?!" Haku's eyes began to water a little more.
"I didn't even know she had a dragon necklace.... you don't have to continue if you don't want to..." Lin stated as soon as she saw that Haku was crying. She then knew that this dream must be very important because Haku had never once cried in front of her.
"no I started to tell you half the dream I might as well tell you the whole dream so you can under stand it better." Haku took a deep breath and wiped away the tears before he continued. " After I found the necklace, I didn't know whose it was so I put it back down on the table and I was trying to look for Chihiro in my room thinking that she had gone to the bath room, or to get something to eat from the kitchens. But when I waited a little while and she didn't return I knew she wasn't there. I could still hear the thunder crashing, but I could also hear something else... it was the sound of a crying baby, it was very soft and it sounded like the child was just afraid... "
"a child?" Lin asked
"yes a child... it was just laying in a separate room in a little crib thingy... everything was so strange.. there were pictures on the wall of Chihiro and I and we were a lot older, in a few of the pictures Chihiro was pregnant. You could see the bulge in her stomach. And then there were no more pictures.. just the child.. the child just kept crying and crying and crying and crying and crying"
"and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying ok ok ok I get the point what happened after that?" Lin was actually starting to get worried...
"well the pictures were all so unfamiliar and looking at Chihiro with Child... she was going to give birth to my child... it was all very strange.. I didn't know what to do I just let the child lay there and cry.. I didn't know what to do! This was all happening so fast! I knew Chihiro would never leave a child alone and just let it cry like that.. so the whole time I wasn't thinking of how to comfort the child but rather on how to get Chihiro back" Tears started to form in his eyes again. "when I heard the door to my room open I was confused I was hoping it was going to be Chihiro.. but it was you"
"ME!?!?! how did I get into this dream?" Lin jumped on her feet... now she really wanted to know what happened.
"you kept calling me master Haku and you haven't called me that for a couple of years now.. all you did was come in to quiet the baby. But when I asked you where Chihiro was you looked shocked... I remember some what of what we were talking about. you asked if I was going to let the child cry all night? And then you rocked the baby back to sleep and said its ok little Chihiro.... its ok. You called her Little Chihiro. After you called her Little Chihiro I asked where Chihiro was... my Chihiro. She has been gone for 6 months now... right after the child was born remember? Were the exact words that you said" Haku stopped as she looked at Lin....
Lin sat back down on the balcony her mouth hung open... "o My Goddess..."
"you tried to leave to get Yu Baba but I wouldn't let you... I kept telling you that it was some kind of mistake that Chihiro really was a live and that I have to find her.. when I ran out side it was still raining but I didn't care.. I could just hear the words you were shouting at me... is Gone Haku! SHE IS GONE! She isn't coming back.. the words still ring in my ear.. and every time I try to sleep that is exactly what I hear : She isn't coming back............... She isn't coming back............. She isn't coming back......... She isn't coming back.............. She isn't coming back............" Haku started to cry again
"its ok.. we'll figure this out" Lin came over and rubbed Haku's back.
"Haku? Lin?" they both looked up in surprise.. Chihiro was standing there... "how come you never told me about the dream?" had she heard the whole thing??
"Chihiro?.. you scared me"
"no your scaring me, what is this dream? I mean I heard the whole thing that you were telling lin, but how come you never told me?"
"I didn't want to scare you"
"oh so you would rather leave me in the dark? The whole time when you would wake up in the middle of the night and you would be teary eyed I thought it was something I was doing?"
"I didn't think you needed to know." As soon as Haku said he wished that he didn't.
Chihiro held her breath, wishing that he didn't say the words that he did, but he did she heard them clear as day. "I thought you loved me!" Chihiro turned around and ran out of the room, she didn't know where she was going and she didn't care.
"Chihiro!" she could hear Haku following her, and he was gaining on her "Chihiro wait! I'm sorry!"
She didn't stop she just kept running, this reminded her of when Shahana was calling her name, when she was running to the bridge... the bridge... there is was but this time it would take her back to the human world... if she left then he wouldn't be bothered by the dream any more. She just kept running...
"Chihiro wait!" she felt him reach out and grasp her...
"no let me go! If you don't think that I need to know something like that then I don't need to be troubling you any more! Now let me go" Chihiro shouted and tried to pull from his grasp
"No! I am not loosing you again! I am sorry I was a fool! I should have told you and I should not have said that you didn't need to know! But I am not letting you go! I am not loosing you again!!" Haku grabbed Chihiro's other arm and pulled her into his chest. "I am not letting you go until you calm down"
Chihiro fought to get away from him until she couldn't fight any more... he was stronger then she was and there was no way that she would be able to get away from his grasp "why didn't you tell me? I thought you could tell me anything...."
"I was stupid I am sorry! I know I should have told you but I didn't want to scare you any more than you already are. The human world is a lot different than the spirit world and I am trying my hardest to help you understand and fit in. I didn't think you needed to be out caste any more" as soon as he said he knew he made another mistake "that didn't come out the way I wanted it to"
"I am an out caste? That's all I am to you? That's why you didn't come back for me... you waited eight years... what were you hoping I would forget about you then you would be home free? You wouldn't have to put up with the human. Woopti doo! The spirit world is different... so what! If you don't think I can handle this, let me go home. Let go of me and let me go home" Chihiro looked deep into Haku's eyes to see what his next move would be...
Haku took a deep breath and releaise the grip he held on Chihiro's arms. "as you wish. I love you... no matter what you say, I love you." Haku kissed Chihiro on the top of the head and walked away to the other side of the bridge.
Chihiro continued to sit there... she didn't know what to do, she really did love him but she was so confused.. she wasn't sure if he really actually wanted her around or not... but what was she to do? She had been away for three weeks would her parents of forgotten about her? Or was she not even noticed gone? Chihiro hit her knees and let out and angry sigh before getting up and walking across the bridge to the human side.. looking back she saw Haku standing there.. as if he was waiting for her to return... she guessed that he knew that she would return back home to him... but were those tears she saw in his eyes?.... when she walked across through the tunnel she looked back wondering if she was making a mistake.
She couldn't go back now.. she would only prove herself weak! But what if he didn't come after her after all.. what if he really did want her to go home cause she was nothing but an out caste? Why do men confuse you so much.. they just seem to take you heart and rip it out of you chest and toy with it...
Chihiro walked to her house and found her house to be empty.. alone.. a note from her parents was on the fridge..
Chihiro, we are proud of you sorry we could not make it to your graduation.. we had to leave town we should be back in two months... be good. There is money in the place where we always leave it for you. And your favorite foods in the cup boards. We love you
love mom and dad
So.. her mom and dad were both gone for about another month so they had noticed her gone at all.. "figures:" she said to her self "they never notice me any more... hmph no one does... not even Haku I guess...."
Chihiro got in the shower and cleaned up using perfume where hse wouldn't smell like the spirits any more.. she wanted to smell like her self, she liked being a human.. but deep down inside she knew she wasn't truly happy.. she wanted to be with Haku... she already missed him... why didn't he come and get her? Did he really love her?
Chihiro sat and looked out the window of her bedroom holding her knees to her chest she cried rocking back and forth...
Chihiro got up and took her diary from a shelf reading the page that it fell open to.. and entry about Haku.. this was how she felt right now...
============================================================
The world seems to be nothing but a dream. And a dream is what I live. you see a dream.. oh nothing but a dream!! A dream becomes reality when you live it... but reality becomes a nightmare when the dream will not end.
I trusted him, I loved him, and I had faith in him. But that's what I get. You see when you give your heart away your just laying yourself down in the middle of a highway. The Express High Way of Love. Nothing ever comes from there but broken hearts and shattered dreams.... oh yeah my dreams certainly are reality aren't they.... they were ripped from me, like a thousand knives piercing my soul.... he cut my heart out and just held in his hands.... watched it beating... and smiled... oh such an evil smile... it still haunts me in my dreams... he let me lay there. Bleeding, dieing .... lost... dead from the pain of love... but I loved him... I still do love him... I gave him my heart..... oh why... why did I give him my heart... I was so foolish... so childish!
I know not of who I was ... I only know who I am now. No longer a child and no longer filled with fear. But I am alone for HE did not keep his promise. He is nothing but a man. And no man is worth my tears for I will no longer give my heart to a man. I have no heart to give. Haku held it in his hand and crushed it! And watched me die of it! He let my soul bleed and he let my soul die... He took my love and threw it out into the middle of the ocean and watched get thrashed upon the shore time after time by the crashing high waves. That's what he did to me.... my life..... he killed me! He killed my soul!!! I hate him! I hate him.... I hate him for everything it is worth and he will no longer be able to hurt me, for I am going to take away what I gave him.. I gave him my love, my spirit, my soul and my life... it is no longer his... I am no longer free, I am a slave to his misery. And I am breaking these chains... letting go... letting go of life, and letting go of him.
Emotions' surging as the timing sets me off What the hell did I do to
deserve this life?
You seem to cast away everything I try to do As I bring up the blade of my
sharpest knife
You torture my soul you bring my life to hell This earthly hell that I have
found is driving me insane
Down, down I fall toward the fires to the flames below Why me? I cry out as
I screamed from the horrifying pain
All the demons and satanic pressuring me to go An outlook of foreshadowing
on my life I didn't want to see
How my pain would finally end with all this sacrifice An earthly home, an
immortal lasting, just let me be!
The torture pain upon my life they bring No one else gives a damn about me
any way
If I were to go away would any one miss me? As I see my life living from
day to day
I want to send it all away I want to just be able to say goodbye
As I give in with final hopes I cry out with a final sigh
Who needs a world that brings you so much pain? Who needs a world like
this?
No one ever loves me So if I was to go away I am no one to miss
I close me eyes And let my breath in
I bring the knife to my throat And let the hell begin
The blackness is all around me now It is too late to back down, to end my
life soon
I feel all the torture now Everything is ending now, beneath the full moon
Haku... how could you.... How could you? I trusted you.... I loved you... but you threw away thing away,,,... you didn't keep your promise... and you didn't keep my love..... you lied to me.... I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!!!
========================================================
Chihiro slammed her diary shut and began to cry again.. she didn't hate him... she loved him so much.. she touched her fingers to her lips wishing she could feel his kiss again.. she wanted to be in his arms... more then anything she wanted to hear him say that he loved her... she cried until she could cry no more and she fell asleep, a deep dreamless sleep on top of her covers.... She awoke the next morning as the sun was pouring into the windows.. the room seemed so bright.. she almost forgot where she was alone in her bed... snuggled under her covers... huh?? But... what? She never remembered covering up... "I'm sorry"
Chihiro jumped up with surprise. She looked down on Haku who was sitting with his back against the side of her bed. "how long have you been here?"
"since you fell asleep. I'm sorry, I was a fool I should have came after you and told you right away how wrong I was for keeping the dream from you, I never dreamed in a thousand years that I would hurt you. Please forgive me" haku looked up and caught Chihiro's eyes. "please forgive me, please I love you and I never want to hurt you."
Chihiro looked in his eyes.. they were glistening filled with tears.. she had never known a man to cry for hurting her, but she knew he was sincere.,.. "eyes don't lie" she whispered to herself.. eyes don't lie.. you try to hide your emotions but eyes don't lie.
((("standing at the edge of the earth" blessed union of souls: are you searching for words that you cant find trying to hide your emotions but eyes don't lie" very very good song...!!!!)))
Chihiro reached down and wrapped her arms around his neck. Kissing the back of his head "I forgive you.. I love you to much to stay mad at you" she brushed a tear away. He looked exhausted. And she could always use a few more hours of sleep. After much coaxing Haku cuddled back up with Chihiro in her bad and fell asleep as soon as his head filled the pillow. For the first time in weeks he had a good dream. His dream was just him kissing and holding Chihiro. He finally was back where he belonged... in Chihiro's arms.
Haku awoke before Chihiro and smiled... she had scared him by running off but now that they were together again nothing could phase him. Yu Baba had given him permission to stay in the human world for a week. And that's exactly what he planned to do, to get away from work and all the troubles of the bath house... he just wanted to spend time with Chihiro. Where she was from. Haku heard Chihiro whisper good morning, and turned to look at her, she looked like an angel. A sweet angel. He hugged her tightly and gave her a small kiss.
"did you get enough sleep" Chihiro sat up, looking at the clock.. it was already noon. And they should most likely get out of bed if they wanted to take a look around town... it was Saturday and the shops closed at five.
"yes I am fine, I'm used to not getting a whole lot of sleep.. when you work for Yu Baba you usually don't sleep all that much any way"
"I'm going to go ahead and take a shower, feel free to look around" Chihiro grabbed her robe and towel that were hanging on the back of her door. And walked out of the room closing the door behind her. Haku sat up and watched her leave...he actually missed her already. Getting up he tooka look around her room.. a statue that looked like it had been glued back together was sitting as the center piece on her dresser. It looked just like him... he wouldn't be surprised if it was supposed to be him. Looking around some more he noticed a book laying on the floor next to her dresser, he picked it up and flipped through the pages, it was filled with poetry and writings of events.. he turned and read a page:
"dear diary, sometimes it is so hard to hold on, every night I cry for him. I miss him so much but yet it feels so long ago that I met him. What if this was just a dream and I am hurting my heart for no reason? If I return will he remember me? And if he does will he love me the way I love him? I gave him my heart on the day we met.. did he give me his?
~*~ Chihiro ~*~"
Chihiro cried for him every night? There was a sharp pain of realization in his heart when he read the words... he did hurt Chihiro and he didn't even know it. He hadn't realized that she cried for him. How come she never told him? He skimmed through entry after entry until he came across the entry that was last written... he stared at the words...
"Haku... how could you.... How could you? I trusted you.... I loved you... but you threw away thing away,,,... you didn't keep your promise... and you didn't keep my love..... you lied to me.... I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!!! " he really did hurt her! He didn't mean to break his promise he didn't mean to make her cry! He was just scared! The poem above the words were just filled with such beauty and passion in the words that he knew that the words were not of the mind but of the spirit and the heart. He really did have her heart, and it was time to give her his... he just had to figure out how.
Every time he thought of what it felt like when he didn't have Chihiro his heart hurt, tears came to his eyes. Haku wasn't being a baby he was being sincere. He loved Chihiro more than anything on any earth and in any world and he would prove this to her... he just had to figure out how.. that's where his dilemma started... he didn't know how. Chihiro was the only girl he had ever loved. And some times he was still a little shaky at proving his love. He had already messed up once and he didn't want to do that again.
"so what should we do today?" Chihiro walked in. Haku set the diary down unnoticed, he didn't want Chihiro to know that he read part of it.. well not yet any way.. he would tell her, just not right away, when the time was right. He walked over and gave her a sweet kiss, taken in her clean scent of raspberries.
"we could go visit some of your friends..... how long has it been since you have seen them?" Haku suggested "but first would it be ok if I took a shower?"
"oh yeah... the bath room is right there. Sorry there isn't any clean towels my parents took them but mine isn't to wet you can use mine if you want" she blushed but didn't feel to bad about offering her towel.
"that's fine" Haku took the towel and walked off the bath room to shower. After he was finished they both grabbed some cereal to eat (Haku managed to make a mess since he was not used to eating human food) and ran off to see some of her friends.
"we should visit Shahana first.. she should be back from her trip by now.." they walked to her house since it wasn't far, knocking on the door she answered, at first Shahana didn't notice Haku, she flung her arms around Chihiro and gave her a big hug.
"I was so worried about you!! And I missed you I have something for you.. it's a really neat dragon picture.. I thought you would like it so I couldn't resist and bought it for you,,,,," she started to go into her house but stopped and turned around "I'm sorry I didn't notice your friend...." she looked Haku up and down smiling. "he's your cousin right? And I am pleased to meet you. HI I am Shahana.. Chihiro's best friend. And who may you be you fine thing?"
"SHAHANA!" Chihiro shouted
"oh... sorry... its just .... he's so cute..." Shahana didn't care if he heard, she was used to being blunt when it came to boys.
"my name is nigihayami kohakunus" Haku gave a slight bow. As Shahana gave him a strange look...
"nigihayami kohakunus? Wow that is a very very unique name... sounds like a god!" Shahana exclaimed and laughed at the same time.
"you may call me Haku if you wish... its easier to say" Haku smiled at her, but quickly diminished the smile , not wanting to even think of flirting with her, like she had with him.
"Ha...hak...hak..haku?" the words of the past rang in her ears : "why? In case Haku comes for you?" Shahana laughed "what if he never comes back for you? You know for a fact that most men don't keep their promises! You shouldn't wait for him"
"is it harder to say to you?"
",,, no no.... Oh my god..!!" Shahana turned bright red as she could see Chihiro laughing "are you the same Haku that Chihiro has been talking about for eight years?"
"yes... I think I am the only haku"
"Chihiro I am sorry if I knew I would not have flirted with him" Shahana blushed even more.
"its fine... we just came by to visit with you for a while" Chihiro smiled as she knew her friend would act this way.
Chihiro, Haku and Shahana sat around the living room trading storied of the summer,
Chihiro told about going to the spirit world and the slumber spell, and about every one there and how Shahana looked like Lin.
Haku told about the time the eight years before Chihiro returned and gave away his secrets of sitting out side her bedroom window and returning to her by memory and dream. And he also told of quests he went on for Yu Baba and things going on in the bath house.
Shahana's stories were no match for theirs they were not filled with magic or by magical creatures... she could just merely talk about her and boy friend breaking up, and how she went to camp with the girls. The whole time that Chihiro and Haku spoke Shahana couldn't believe what she was hearing, it sounded to good to be true, I mean the way Haku described himself in dragon form. And how Chihiro spoke of Kamaji and Yu Baba sounded so mean. And Princess Kiawauna.. how awful... everything was just so over whelming.
They sat and talked for hours on end before they realized it was getting dark and they needed to stop by a few other places before they went home again. With a good bye hug they parted and Chihiro and Haku walked back to her house as Shahana was left to be alone at her house again.
"we will have to take the car since it is to late to walk any where else, shopping will have to wait until tomorrow because the shops are already closed by now" Chihiro walked in and grabbed her keys quickly, walking out again.
"car" Haku looked at her with wonder
"you have never been in a car before?"
"no, I don't even know what a car is...."
"well... its kinda like a train, but smaller and it doesn't run on a track, it drives on a road, it runs on gas and not coal. And only four people can fit in a car." Chihiro felt silly describing the car as they walked to the garage to get it...
"oh..." Haku shrugged, he was always ready to meet new experiences, and the car didn't seem so bad.
Chihiro forgot to mention how fast the car went, Haku grabbed onto the handle, sure he was used to flying faster than this, but never having some one else under control, let alone a machine.
They stopped by a few friends houses and then left to go home again, by the time they returned home it was already past the time they wanted to return.
" I had fun tonight.. thank you" Haku gave Chihiro a sincere passionate kiss of thanks.
" I enjoyed my self too" Chihiro smiled as they walked up stairs to go back to her bed room.
After cleaning up for bed they laid down and just cuddled for the longest time, neither of them really wanted to fall asleep. Haku gently stroked Chihiro's face, and kissed her soft lips. She moved in closer to his body to get more comfortable. The kiss got more involved as the moment became more heated.
Haku didn't know what he was doing but he started to reach around her back and unclasp her bra. Chihiro's startled reflex she pulled away, but dismissed the thought and continued to kiss him.
Some how Haku had managed to get her shirt and bra of, leaving them crumbled in a small heap on the side of her bed. Her tender breasts peaked at the cold air, she sighed and moaned as he caressed them. She didn't know why, but she was allowing him to do this, she knew better but at the same time she didn't. the excitement was to heavy in the air and the moment seemed just perfect, but the second he unbuckled the clasp of her pants she pulled away from him.
"Haku I'm sorry, I cant" Chihiro cuddled in closer to him to hide her unclothed body "I love you, but I just cant, not tonight, it doesn't feel perfect. I mean its perfect but at the same time its not.."
"shhhh" Haku stroked the head and pulled her closer to his body, in a way he was glad that she stopped him, he didn't know what came over him, or even why he was trying to undress her. He would never do anything with out her approval. And this definitely was one of those things. "I'm sorry Chihiro I never had any intention on ....."
Chihiro kissed him softly "I know, I just got scared, we should go to sleep, we do need to get some shopping done tomorrow" Chihiro Snuggled into his chest not bothering to replace her clothes.
Haku soon fell asleep as well, just not as fast as Chihiro, he felt bad for what he tried to do, he didn't know why he tried, it just seemed right at the moment. 'I hope she isn't mad at me .. or to terribly mad' he thought, kissing her head he closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep.
Disclaimer: I do not own spirited away ... I am not that creative to write a story like spirited away I can only some what come close to a sequel and expand my genius off of that. If you think that I even have anything to do with spirited away, I am sorry to let you down the only thing I know about Japan is their food is rally good, and I have a Japanese dress that I wore to my graduation... other then that I just love anime... I DON'T OWN SPIRITED AWAY!!!!! SO STOP BUGGING ME I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER FROM THIS STORY EXCEPT: Princess Kiawauna (who was a girl that sat next to me in my seventh hour choir class) and Shahana... and I have no clue where the name came from it just sounded cool! Do people even both reading author notes? Because if you are I think its almost a waist of time unless you are as bored as I am... so yeah... any way....:
ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER...
Chapter Eleven: Eyes don't lie
"a dream is just a dream right?" Haku paced Nervously
"Stop pacing! Your making me nervous too! .... Yes ... yes it is just a dream we have gone over this time after time! Why wont you just tell me what the dream was about maybe I can help you understand it better" Lin sat down on the balcony of the Girls sleeping area watching Haku pace. It had been almost two weeks since the dream and it still haunted him. Every night in his sleep the same dream played over and over.
"you will just laugh at me"
"no I wont I promise... I promise I will not laugh and if I laugh then you can hit me! Ok.. there you have my word now tell me what the dream is so you can be normal again. Your starting to worry me Haku and I don't like this."
"ok... since you promised... this is all I remember:
I remember laying there in my bed and I could hear the thunder crashing he lightning was extremely bright because I could see everything inside my entire room every time it flashed across the sky. I tried to cuddle up with Chihiro because the room was starting to get very cold.. there was some kind of draft" Haku took a deep breath and swallowed the lump that was in his throat.. his eyes were starting to form with tears. "but Chihiro wasn't there... there was no trace of her in the room at all... the only thing that I could see that was hers is the dragon necklace that her mother gave her before she left the human world... the one I didn't even know she had until the dream. How could I possibly dream about something I didn't know existed, and then come to find out that it is real?!" Haku's eyes began to water a little more.
"I didn't even know she had a dragon necklace.... you don't have to continue if you don't want to..." Lin stated as soon as she saw that Haku was crying. She then knew that this dream must be very important because Haku had never once cried in front of her.
"no I started to tell you half the dream I might as well tell you the whole dream so you can under stand it better." Haku took a deep breath and wiped away the tears before he continued. " After I found the necklace, I didn't know whose it was so I put it back down on the table and I was trying to look for Chihiro in my room thinking that she had gone to the bath room, or to get something to eat from the kitchens. But when I waited a little while and she didn't return I knew she wasn't there. I could still hear the thunder crashing, but I could also hear something else... it was the sound of a crying baby, it was very soft and it sounded like the child was just afraid... "
"a child?" Lin asked
"yes a child... it was just laying in a separate room in a little crib thingy... everything was so strange.. there were pictures on the wall of Chihiro and I and we were a lot older, in a few of the pictures Chihiro was pregnant. You could see the bulge in her stomach. And then there were no more pictures.. just the child.. the child just kept crying and crying and crying and crying and crying"
"and crying and crying and crying and crying and crying ok ok ok I get the point what happened after that?" Lin was actually starting to get worried...
"well the pictures were all so unfamiliar and looking at Chihiro with Child... she was going to give birth to my child... it was all very strange.. I didn't know what to do I just let the child lay there and cry.. I didn't know what to do! This was all happening so fast! I knew Chihiro would never leave a child alone and just let it cry like that.. so the whole time I wasn't thinking of how to comfort the child but rather on how to get Chihiro back" Tears started to form in his eyes again. "when I heard the door to my room open I was confused I was hoping it was going to be Chihiro.. but it was you"
"ME!?!?! how did I get into this dream?" Lin jumped on her feet... now she really wanted to know what happened.
"you kept calling me master Haku and you haven't called me that for a couple of years now.. all you did was come in to quiet the baby. But when I asked you where Chihiro was you looked shocked... I remember some what of what we were talking about. you asked if I was going to let the child cry all night? And then you rocked the baby back to sleep and said its ok little Chihiro.... its ok. You called her Little Chihiro. After you called her Little Chihiro I asked where Chihiro was... my Chihiro. She has been gone for 6 months now... right after the child was born remember? Were the exact words that you said" Haku stopped as she looked at Lin....
Lin sat back down on the balcony her mouth hung open... "o My Goddess..."
"you tried to leave to get Yu Baba but I wouldn't let you... I kept telling you that it was some kind of mistake that Chihiro really was a live and that I have to find her.. when I ran out side it was still raining but I didn't care.. I could just hear the words you were shouting at me... is Gone Haku! SHE IS GONE! She isn't coming back.. the words still ring in my ear.. and every time I try to sleep that is exactly what I hear : She isn't coming back............... She isn't coming back............. She isn't coming back......... She isn't coming back.............. She isn't coming back............" Haku started to cry again
"its ok.. we'll figure this out" Lin came over and rubbed Haku's back.
"Haku? Lin?" they both looked up in surprise.. Chihiro was standing there... "how come you never told me about the dream?" had she heard the whole thing??
"Chihiro?.. you scared me"
"no your scaring me, what is this dream? I mean I heard the whole thing that you were telling lin, but how come you never told me?"
"I didn't want to scare you"
"oh so you would rather leave me in the dark? The whole time when you would wake up in the middle of the night and you would be teary eyed I thought it was something I was doing?"
"I didn't think you needed to know." As soon as Haku said he wished that he didn't.
Chihiro held her breath, wishing that he didn't say the words that he did, but he did she heard them clear as day. "I thought you loved me!" Chihiro turned around and ran out of the room, she didn't know where she was going and she didn't care.
"Chihiro!" she could hear Haku following her, and he was gaining on her "Chihiro wait! I'm sorry!"
She didn't stop she just kept running, this reminded her of when Shahana was calling her name, when she was running to the bridge... the bridge... there is was but this time it would take her back to the human world... if she left then he wouldn't be bothered by the dream any more. She just kept running...
"Chihiro wait!" she felt him reach out and grasp her...
"no let me go! If you don't think that I need to know something like that then I don't need to be troubling you any more! Now let me go" Chihiro shouted and tried to pull from his grasp
"No! I am not loosing you again! I am sorry I was a fool! I should have told you and I should not have said that you didn't need to know! But I am not letting you go! I am not loosing you again!!" Haku grabbed Chihiro's other arm and pulled her into his chest. "I am not letting you go until you calm down"
Chihiro fought to get away from him until she couldn't fight any more... he was stronger then she was and there was no way that she would be able to get away from his grasp "why didn't you tell me? I thought you could tell me anything...."
"I was stupid I am sorry! I know I should have told you but I didn't want to scare you any more than you already are. The human world is a lot different than the spirit world and I am trying my hardest to help you understand and fit in. I didn't think you needed to be out caste any more" as soon as he said he knew he made another mistake "that didn't come out the way I wanted it to"
"I am an out caste? That's all I am to you? That's why you didn't come back for me... you waited eight years... what were you hoping I would forget about you then you would be home free? You wouldn't have to put up with the human. Woopti doo! The spirit world is different... so what! If you don't think I can handle this, let me go home. Let go of me and let me go home" Chihiro looked deep into Haku's eyes to see what his next move would be...
Haku took a deep breath and releaise the grip he held on Chihiro's arms. "as you wish. I love you... no matter what you say, I love you." Haku kissed Chihiro on the top of the head and walked away to the other side of the bridge.
Chihiro continued to sit there... she didn't know what to do, she really did love him but she was so confused.. she wasn't sure if he really actually wanted her around or not... but what was she to do? She had been away for three weeks would her parents of forgotten about her? Or was she not even noticed gone? Chihiro hit her knees and let out and angry sigh before getting up and walking across the bridge to the human side.. looking back she saw Haku standing there.. as if he was waiting for her to return... she guessed that he knew that she would return back home to him... but were those tears she saw in his eyes?.... when she walked across through the tunnel she looked back wondering if she was making a mistake.
She couldn't go back now.. she would only prove herself weak! But what if he didn't come after her after all.. what if he really did want her to go home cause she was nothing but an out caste? Why do men confuse you so much.. they just seem to take you heart and rip it out of you chest and toy with it...
Chihiro walked to her house and found her house to be empty.. alone.. a note from her parents was on the fridge..
Chihiro, we are proud of you sorry we could not make it to your graduation.. we had to leave town we should be back in two months... be good. There is money in the place where we always leave it for you. And your favorite foods in the cup boards. We love you
love mom and dad
So.. her mom and dad were both gone for about another month so they had noticed her gone at all.. "figures:" she said to her self "they never notice me any more... hmph no one does... not even Haku I guess...."
Chihiro got in the shower and cleaned up using perfume where hse wouldn't smell like the spirits any more.. she wanted to smell like her self, she liked being a human.. but deep down inside she knew she wasn't truly happy.. she wanted to be with Haku... she already missed him... why didn't he come and get her? Did he really love her?
Chihiro sat and looked out the window of her bedroom holding her knees to her chest she cried rocking back and forth...
Chihiro got up and took her diary from a shelf reading the page that it fell open to.. and entry about Haku.. this was how she felt right now...
============================================================
The world seems to be nothing but a dream. And a dream is what I live. you see a dream.. oh nothing but a dream!! A dream becomes reality when you live it... but reality becomes a nightmare when the dream will not end.
I trusted him, I loved him, and I had faith in him. But that's what I get. You see when you give your heart away your just laying yourself down in the middle of a highway. The Express High Way of Love. Nothing ever comes from there but broken hearts and shattered dreams.... oh yeah my dreams certainly are reality aren't they.... they were ripped from me, like a thousand knives piercing my soul.... he cut my heart out and just held in his hands.... watched it beating... and smiled... oh such an evil smile... it still haunts me in my dreams... he let me lay there. Bleeding, dieing .... lost... dead from the pain of love... but I loved him... I still do love him... I gave him my heart..... oh why... why did I give him my heart... I was so foolish... so childish!
I know not of who I was ... I only know who I am now. No longer a child and no longer filled with fear. But I am alone for HE did not keep his promise. He is nothing but a man. And no man is worth my tears for I will no longer give my heart to a man. I have no heart to give. Haku held it in his hand and crushed it! And watched me die of it! He let my soul bleed and he let my soul die... He took my love and threw it out into the middle of the ocean and watched get thrashed upon the shore time after time by the crashing high waves. That's what he did to me.... my life..... he killed me! He killed my soul!!! I hate him! I hate him.... I hate him for everything it is worth and he will no longer be able to hurt me, for I am going to take away what I gave him.. I gave him my love, my spirit, my soul and my life... it is no longer his... I am no longer free, I am a slave to his misery. And I am breaking these chains... letting go... letting go of life, and letting go of him.
Emotions' surging as the timing sets me off What the hell did I do to
deserve this life?
You seem to cast away everything I try to do As I bring up the blade of my
sharpest knife
You torture my soul you bring my life to hell This earthly hell that I have
found is driving me insane
Down, down I fall toward the fires to the flames below Why me? I cry out as
I screamed from the horrifying pain
All the demons and satanic pressuring me to go An outlook of foreshadowing
on my life I didn't want to see
How my pain would finally end with all this sacrifice An earthly home, an
immortal lasting, just let me be!
The torture pain upon my life they bring No one else gives a damn about me
any way
If I were to go away would any one miss me? As I see my life living from
day to day
I want to send it all away I want to just be able to say goodbye
As I give in with final hopes I cry out with a final sigh
Who needs a world that brings you so much pain? Who needs a world like
this?
No one ever loves me So if I was to go away I am no one to miss
I close me eyes And let my breath in
I bring the knife to my throat And let the hell begin
The blackness is all around me now It is too late to back down, to end my
life soon
I feel all the torture now Everything is ending now, beneath the full moon
Haku... how could you.... How could you? I trusted you.... I loved you... but you threw away thing away,,,... you didn't keep your promise... and you didn't keep my love..... you lied to me.... I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!!!
========================================================
Chihiro slammed her diary shut and began to cry again.. she didn't hate him... she loved him so much.. she touched her fingers to her lips wishing she could feel his kiss again.. she wanted to be in his arms... more then anything she wanted to hear him say that he loved her... she cried until she could cry no more and she fell asleep, a deep dreamless sleep on top of her covers.... She awoke the next morning as the sun was pouring into the windows.. the room seemed so bright.. she almost forgot where she was alone in her bed... snuggled under her covers... huh?? But... what? She never remembered covering up... "I'm sorry"
Chihiro jumped up with surprise. She looked down on Haku who was sitting with his back against the side of her bed. "how long have you been here?"
"since you fell asleep. I'm sorry, I was a fool I should have came after you and told you right away how wrong I was for keeping the dream from you, I never dreamed in a thousand years that I would hurt you. Please forgive me" haku looked up and caught Chihiro's eyes. "please forgive me, please I love you and I never want to hurt you."
Chihiro looked in his eyes.. they were glistening filled with tears.. she had never known a man to cry for hurting her, but she knew he was sincere.,.. "eyes don't lie" she whispered to herself.. eyes don't lie.. you try to hide your emotions but eyes don't lie.
((("standing at the edge of the earth" blessed union of souls: are you searching for words that you cant find trying to hide your emotions but eyes don't lie" very very good song...!!!!)))
Chihiro reached down and wrapped her arms around his neck. Kissing the back of his head "I forgive you.. I love you to much to stay mad at you" she brushed a tear away. He looked exhausted. And she could always use a few more hours of sleep. After much coaxing Haku cuddled back up with Chihiro in her bad and fell asleep as soon as his head filled the pillow. For the first time in weeks he had a good dream. His dream was just him kissing and holding Chihiro. He finally was back where he belonged... in Chihiro's arms.
Haku awoke before Chihiro and smiled... she had scared him by running off but now that they were together again nothing could phase him. Yu Baba had given him permission to stay in the human world for a week. And that's exactly what he planned to do, to get away from work and all the troubles of the bath house... he just wanted to spend time with Chihiro. Where she was from. Haku heard Chihiro whisper good morning, and turned to look at her, she looked like an angel. A sweet angel. He hugged her tightly and gave her a small kiss.
"did you get enough sleep" Chihiro sat up, looking at the clock.. it was already noon. And they should most likely get out of bed if they wanted to take a look around town... it was Saturday and the shops closed at five.
"yes I am fine, I'm used to not getting a whole lot of sleep.. when you work for Yu Baba you usually don't sleep all that much any way"
"I'm going to go ahead and take a shower, feel free to look around" Chihiro grabbed her robe and towel that were hanging on the back of her door. And walked out of the room closing the door behind her. Haku sat up and watched her leave...he actually missed her already. Getting up he tooka look around her room.. a statue that looked like it had been glued back together was sitting as the center piece on her dresser. It looked just like him... he wouldn't be surprised if it was supposed to be him. Looking around some more he noticed a book laying on the floor next to her dresser, he picked it up and flipped through the pages, it was filled with poetry and writings of events.. he turned and read a page:
"dear diary, sometimes it is so hard to hold on, every night I cry for him. I miss him so much but yet it feels so long ago that I met him. What if this was just a dream and I am hurting my heart for no reason? If I return will he remember me? And if he does will he love me the way I love him? I gave him my heart on the day we met.. did he give me his?
~*~ Chihiro ~*~"
Chihiro cried for him every night? There was a sharp pain of realization in his heart when he read the words... he did hurt Chihiro and he didn't even know it. He hadn't realized that she cried for him. How come she never told him? He skimmed through entry after entry until he came across the entry that was last written... he stared at the words...
"Haku... how could you.... How could you? I trusted you.... I loved you... but you threw away thing away,,,... you didn't keep your promise... and you didn't keep my love..... you lied to me.... I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!!! " he really did hurt her! He didn't mean to break his promise he didn't mean to make her cry! He was just scared! The poem above the words were just filled with such beauty and passion in the words that he knew that the words were not of the mind but of the spirit and the heart. He really did have her heart, and it was time to give her his... he just had to figure out how.
Every time he thought of what it felt like when he didn't have Chihiro his heart hurt, tears came to his eyes. Haku wasn't being a baby he was being sincere. He loved Chihiro more than anything on any earth and in any world and he would prove this to her... he just had to figure out how.. that's where his dilemma started... he didn't know how. Chihiro was the only girl he had ever loved. And some times he was still a little shaky at proving his love. He had already messed up once and he didn't want to do that again.
"so what should we do today?" Chihiro walked in. Haku set the diary down unnoticed, he didn't want Chihiro to know that he read part of it.. well not yet any way.. he would tell her, just not right away, when the time was right. He walked over and gave her a sweet kiss, taken in her clean scent of raspberries.
"we could go visit some of your friends..... how long has it been since you have seen them?" Haku suggested "but first would it be ok if I took a shower?"
"oh yeah... the bath room is right there. Sorry there isn't any clean towels my parents took them but mine isn't to wet you can use mine if you want" she blushed but didn't feel to bad about offering her towel.
"that's fine" Haku took the towel and walked off the bath room to shower. After he was finished they both grabbed some cereal to eat (Haku managed to make a mess since he was not used to eating human food) and ran off to see some of her friends.
"we should visit Shahana first.. she should be back from her trip by now.." they walked to her house since it wasn't far, knocking on the door she answered, at first Shahana didn't notice Haku, she flung her arms around Chihiro and gave her a big hug.
"I was so worried about you!! And I missed you I have something for you.. it's a really neat dragon picture.. I thought you would like it so I couldn't resist and bought it for you,,,,," she started to go into her house but stopped and turned around "I'm sorry I didn't notice your friend...." she looked Haku up and down smiling. "he's your cousin right? And I am pleased to meet you. HI I am Shahana.. Chihiro's best friend. And who may you be you fine thing?"
"SHAHANA!" Chihiro shouted
"oh... sorry... its just .... he's so cute..." Shahana didn't care if he heard, she was used to being blunt when it came to boys.
"my name is nigihayami kohakunus" Haku gave a slight bow. As Shahana gave him a strange look...
"nigihayami kohakunus? Wow that is a very very unique name... sounds like a god!" Shahana exclaimed and laughed at the same time.
"you may call me Haku if you wish... its easier to say" Haku smiled at her, but quickly diminished the smile , not wanting to even think of flirting with her, like she had with him.
"Ha...hak...hak..haku?" the words of the past rang in her ears : "why? In case Haku comes for you?" Shahana laughed "what if he never comes back for you? You know for a fact that most men don't keep their promises! You shouldn't wait for him"
"is it harder to say to you?"
",,, no no.... Oh my god..!!" Shahana turned bright red as she could see Chihiro laughing "are you the same Haku that Chihiro has been talking about for eight years?"
"yes... I think I am the only haku"
"Chihiro I am sorry if I knew I would not have flirted with him" Shahana blushed even more.
"its fine... we just came by to visit with you for a while" Chihiro smiled as she knew her friend would act this way.
Chihiro, Haku and Shahana sat around the living room trading storied of the summer,
Chihiro told about going to the spirit world and the slumber spell, and about every one there and how Shahana looked like Lin.
Haku told about the time the eight years before Chihiro returned and gave away his secrets of sitting out side her bedroom window and returning to her by memory and dream. And he also told of quests he went on for Yu Baba and things going on in the bath house.
Shahana's stories were no match for theirs they were not filled with magic or by magical creatures... she could just merely talk about her and boy friend breaking up, and how she went to camp with the girls. The whole time that Chihiro and Haku spoke Shahana couldn't believe what she was hearing, it sounded to good to be true, I mean the way Haku described himself in dragon form. And how Chihiro spoke of Kamaji and Yu Baba sounded so mean. And Princess Kiawauna.. how awful... everything was just so over whelming.
They sat and talked for hours on end before they realized it was getting dark and they needed to stop by a few other places before they went home again. With a good bye hug they parted and Chihiro and Haku walked back to her house as Shahana was left to be alone at her house again.
"we will have to take the car since it is to late to walk any where else, shopping will have to wait until tomorrow because the shops are already closed by now" Chihiro walked in and grabbed her keys quickly, walking out again.
"car" Haku looked at her with wonder
"you have never been in a car before?"
"no, I don't even know what a car is...."
"well... its kinda like a train, but smaller and it doesn't run on a track, it drives on a road, it runs on gas and not coal. And only four people can fit in a car." Chihiro felt silly describing the car as they walked to the garage to get it...
"oh..." Haku shrugged, he was always ready to meet new experiences, and the car didn't seem so bad.
Chihiro forgot to mention how fast the car went, Haku grabbed onto the handle, sure he was used to flying faster than this, but never having some one else under control, let alone a machine.
They stopped by a few friends houses and then left to go home again, by the time they returned home it was already past the time they wanted to return.
" I had fun tonight.. thank you" Haku gave Chihiro a sincere passionate kiss of thanks.
" I enjoyed my self too" Chihiro smiled as they walked up stairs to go back to her bed room.
After cleaning up for bed they laid down and just cuddled for the longest time, neither of them really wanted to fall asleep. Haku gently stroked Chihiro's face, and kissed her soft lips. She moved in closer to his body to get more comfortable. The kiss got more involved as the moment became more heated.
Haku didn't know what he was doing but he started to reach around her back and unclasp her bra. Chihiro's startled reflex she pulled away, but dismissed the thought and continued to kiss him.
Some how Haku had managed to get her shirt and bra of, leaving them crumbled in a small heap on the side of her bed. Her tender breasts peaked at the cold air, she sighed and moaned as he caressed them. She didn't know why, but she was allowing him to do this, she knew better but at the same time she didn't. the excitement was to heavy in the air and the moment seemed just perfect, but the second he unbuckled the clasp of her pants she pulled away from him.
"Haku I'm sorry, I cant" Chihiro cuddled in closer to him to hide her unclothed body "I love you, but I just cant, not tonight, it doesn't feel perfect. I mean its perfect but at the same time its not.."
"shhhh" Haku stroked the head and pulled her closer to his body, in a way he was glad that she stopped him, he didn't know what came over him, or even why he was trying to undress her. He would never do anything with out her approval. And this definitely was one of those things. "I'm sorry Chihiro I never had any intention on ....."
Chihiro kissed him softly "I know, I just got scared, we should go to sleep, we do need to get some shopping done tomorrow" Chihiro Snuggled into his chest not bothering to replace her clothes.
Haku soon fell asleep as well, just not as fast as Chihiro, he felt bad for what he tried to do, he didn't know why he tried, it just seemed right at the moment. 'I hope she isn't mad at me .. or to terribly mad' he thought, kissing her head he closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep.