Ennis sat in his chair, facing the striped walls of the office, fingers nervously drumming, stomach contorting into various knots, mind focused on what was going on at this very moment.
Jack was going to ask Caleb about…the thing.
God, he couldn't even think about it.
Even with him in the comfort of this separate room, far away from where Jack and Caleb were most likely talking, it still felt so awkward. Its like he was right there, like literally right there, telling someone openly to come share a bed with them.
And then, what if he said no? Shit, that would be unbearable! To have to see his face every day, knowing full well what they had asked him. And then of course if he did agree, then they still had to see him either way…
Fuck! He thought, fuck, fuck, fuck!
This was a bad idea, he knew it! He knew it the moment it came out of Jack's mouth.
He got out of his chair, grabbing his jacket off the back.
He was going to stop this, right now. Find Jack, tell him, talk his way out…
The door opened and Jack came in, ending Ennis's drive and the anxiety spiking. Too late, it was already done. Now he had to wait for the fall out.
"Well?" asked Ennis, doing his best to mask the shaky voice "what did he say?"
Jack smiled "relax cowboy, he said yes".
And just like that, Ennis felt the weight lift off his shoulders. He said yes, good he thought, good, spared them the whole embarrassment.
"Oh" he said, "that's…that's really good".
"I know!" Jack said "god, you have no idea how worried I was, if he said no, we would have been…I probably kill myself from the embarrassment".
"No kiddin" replied Ennis "did he say when?"
"I told him this weekend," said Jack "both the boys will be out most likely, I know Jess had somethin' planned with Lois and James".
"T-this weekend?" said Ennis.
"Is that a problem?" he asked.
"Well, I mean…you coulda given me a little bit of a heads up," said Ennis.
"I thought you didn't care," said Jack.
Ennis didn't answer and he saw the look that spread on Jack's face "I knew it, you aren't comfortable with this".
"I never said that" Ennis said.
"Come on Ennis, I know you too well" said Jack "I didn't fully believe it before hand and now I know for sure".
"Jack" Ennis began but he was cut off.
"Don't Ennis, I know what you'll say and I won't by it" he replied, "Look, I'll head back out and tell Caleb its off".
"Jack, please, listen" said Ennis, putting his hands on Jack's shoulders "I'm okay with it, like I've said before. I was jus' a bit shocked is all. All I asked for was a bit of a fore warnin' is all".
"Yeah, I guess that was kinda stupid of me," said Jack "now yer-"
"Jack" said Ennis "I think we should get back ta work".
Jack smiled "right, work, what we should be doing".
"Thanks for the ride James" said Jess.
"No big deal" he replied "Lois say when she and Bobby would be back?"
"According to the cryptic note she left for me, they would be out and be back soon" Jess said, "not exactly keen on specifics".
"Talk ta ya later?" said James
"Yeah, sure" he replied, grabbing his backpack from the rear seat and opening the car door.
Hearing James car drive off the gravel road, he walked into the house, Jack at the fridge pulling out a drink.
"Hey" he said, his head poking up over the refrigerator door.
"Hey" said Jess, closing the door.
"Where's Bobby?"
"Spending some quality time with Lois" he replied.
"Lois?" Jack said in a surprised voice.
"Long story," he said, crashing on the sofa and flicking on the TV.
"What happened?" he asked, coming over near Jess.
He sighed. Jess knew that he had to tell them sooner or later; he just was hoping he could have saved it for dinner.
"It was a…bad day," he said simply.
"Shit" Jack said.
"Personally, I don't give a fuck" said Jess "but for Bobby, well, he took it a bit hard".
"I was afraid of that," said Jack "so what happened? Was it that Macarthur kid?"
"I think Bobby should be the one telling you, not me" he replied.
"Jess" Jack said.
"Not to be an ass Jack but I'm really not in the mood," he said, "I just want to watch some TV, so please, just go away before I say something I'll regret".
Jack sighed, "Jess, please, I don't want to sound nosy-".
"Well you are!" snapped Jess "just let it be! I don't want to talk about it right now, so just please, back the fuck off!"
He used that same voice from the first few months he was here and Jack assumed the same stance whenever Jess yelled.
"You can wait for Bobby to tell you" said Jess "but until then, just please, go away" he angrily flicked the remote, the channel snapping to the local news.
The battle was lost; Jack went to the door and headed back out.
Bobby was silent as Lois drove him back to the school where his car still remained. For the entire day, they had hung out at the abandoned soccer field. He remembered that had gone there one time when he was young, with Jack and Ennis. They played a game of soccer, father and son versus Ennis. Ennis would put up a bit of a fight before Jack would sneak pass him, pass the ball to Bobby, kicking it through the net less goal and being declared world champion. It had seemed like a lifetime ago, back when things were so simple.
They mostly were silent, Bobby lying down and daydreaming while Lois sat next to him, sketching at whatever it was that caught her fancy. In his haze, he thought about a lot of things, mostly concerning right now. A tightening fear had entered into his stomach, one of dread. He couldn't help but think things were going to go badly. After what he saw at the school, the fear had grown and now he was afraid that, sometime during the night, something might happen. People would come, vandalize the place, and try to run them out, torches and pitchforks in hand.
When he had this though, he chuckled. This was something Ennis would have done. He assumed that both of them would be doing a lot of this type of thinking in the days to come.
"That was nice," said Lois, breaking the silence.
"I barely said anythin" he replied.
"So? Doesn't make it a bad thing" she replied "ya know what they say, silence speaks volumes".
He laughed, "Guess I never heard that".
She pulled into the schools parking lot, where Bobby's car remained the only one on the lot. Much to his surprise, he spotted no visible sings of damage or vandalism. A saving grace. But he suspected that would soon change in the days to come.
"Thanks for the ride" said Bobby.
"Don't mention it," she said, "it's been to long anyway".
He nodded. Reaching for the remote, she placed her hand on his shoulder "about what happened at lunch" she said "I didn't mean to overstep my boundaries".
"You weren't" he said, "You were jus' tryin' ta help. I was jus' to angry ta see it".
"It was understandable," she said.
Bobby hesitated for a moment, hand still clenched on the door handle "and by the way, I'd like ta come to the movies with ya".
Lois smiled "really? Yer not jus' sayin' that?"
"No, I mean it" he said "besides, I think I might need it".
"Great" she said "I'll call James and tell him tonight".
"Cool" he said "then I'll see ya tomorrow".
"Oh wait!" Lois exclaimed "there's somethin' I wanna give ya before I forget". Digging in the back seat, she grabbed her sketchbook, flipping through a few of the pages before she found it. Tearing the page from the book, she handed it to him. He took it, looking at the drawing.
"I did it while we were out on the field" she said.
The picture was very detailed, the clothes showing stitches of fabric, the grass wrapping around his body, hands behind his head, lying on the ground, gazing off into some unknown location, his eyes warm and serene, and a small smile on his face.
"I realized that I'd never done a picture of you" she said, "I have dozens of Jess and James, a few of Ennis and Jack, but somehow I forgot about you. Figured that was kinda odd, and with the situation, it jus' seemed right".
"Wow" he said, taking a moment to search for the words "this is really good Lois…thank you".
"It was my pleasure" she said, "You were a good model".
There was a silence between them. In this moment, Bobby truly noticed the feel of her hand on his shoulder, how warm it felt, small vibrations coming off it.
"So see ya tomorrow?" she said, breaking the quiet and throwing him back into reality.
"Yeah, of course" he said, opening the door " again thanks for the picture".
He was back home in what seemed like a second. Walking into the house, he saw an already open box of pizza on the kitchen table, Jess on the couch, watching TV, half eaten slice in his hand.
"Hey" said Jess "your back late".
"Sorry, just lost track of time" said Bobby "pizza tonight?"
"Didn't feel like making anything" he replied "so I took the easy route. Well, almost easy. I swear it still annoys me that they don't deliver in this town".
"Yeah" said Bobby.
"What you got there?" asked Jess.
"Oh, uh, picture Lois did" he said holding up the paper.
"Aw, how sweet" said Jess "I can't tell ya how many times she's drawn pictures of me. There's probably a whole wall devoted to me. But as it seems now that she's found herself a new muse".
"Nothin' happened," said Bobby, taking a seat on the empty couch space "we jus'…hung out".
"Right" said Jess.
"Believe what ya want," said Bobby "it was nice. I needed it anyway. Hey, about what happened today-".
"Forget it" said Jess "I know I was out of line, you were pissed, things escalated, and shit happened. Besides, we have enough trouble without fighting amongst ourselves".
"So all is forgiven?" said Bobby.
"Course, what else are brothers for" said Jess "oh and heads up, Jack wants to talk to you about what happened at school".
"What?" said Bobby "you told him?"
"Not really" he replied, "just that things at school didn't go over so well, that's all. But he wants to know specifically what happened. Ya gonna tell him?"
He rested his head on the couch, hand rubbing his forehead "I dunno. I jus' want this day ta be over".
They heard the door opened.
"Better make that decision quick" said Jess.
Jack and Ennis walked into the room. Immediately Jess got up off the couch and headed to the kitchen, grabbing another slice of pizza and heading up the stairs.
"Bobby" said Jack "we have ta talk".
He got up the couch "I don't wanna talk about it".
"Come on Bobby, don't be like that" said Ennis "we jus' want ta help".
Bobby sighed, "I know. But right now, the one thing I need is ta be left alone".
"That's not gonna solve anythin" said Jack "ya can talk ta me Bobby, you know that".
"Well dad, right now I jus' don't want ta talk ta ya," he said, and then he headed up the stairs without looking back.
Opening his bedroom door, he saw Jess on his bed already "I guess ya didn't say anything huh?" he said.
"Should I have?" he asked, sitting down next to him.
"That is what they preach about in school" said Jess "but sometimes telling others doesn't always help".
Bobby reclined back onto the bed, arms behind his head, staring at the white ceiling. He felt the bed shift slightly, Jess laying next to him.
"Hey Bobby" said Jess.
"Ya?" he asked.
"Just wanted to clear something up from earlier today," he said "the whole fight".
"What about it?"
Jess paused "did you really wanted Jack and Ennis to come out?"
"Course I did" he said without any pause "I jus'…didn't think it would be so difficult".
"That's what you get for being apart of a minority," said Jess.
Jess turned over to face him "ya wanna know the truth about something?"
"What?"
"I know that it seems like I put up this front" said Jess "this whole I don't give a fuck, you all don't matter, I'm better then you. Now don't get me wrong, I really don't give a fuck what people think about me. And I'm not afraid to call someone out on their bullshit. But some days, dealing with it all, having people talk about you, stare at you funny, knowing that most of these people as a freak, its hard".
"I didn't know that," said Bobby.
"Everyone can't be a stone wall all the time" said Jess "but that's the thing about people, you can't show weakness in front of them, otherwise they know their getting to you. The only way to deal with smack is talk smack back".
When he finished, Jess got back up and off the bed "okay, I think someone has some math homework he needs to finish".
Bobby laughed, "I swear Jess, you know my homework better then I do".
"Yet another useless talent" he said.