Woo!! Next chapter!! :-D It didn't take so long this time…hehe…I wrote it around…mm…Saturday? Maybe…I've been contemplating it and editing it since then…and I have reached the point where I approve it for posting for you guys! :-D Quick work, eh? Go me…
Alrighty so here be my thanks…
aradow: Wow you astound me!! You really have been the first to update every time! I'm glad you're interested to see how the two 'obstinate mules' as I so lovingly call them in my mind *wink* will open up… Thanks for having so much faith in me *big smile*
Fushizen na: One of your favorite? Aww….*blushes*
Kim: Haha I love the way you start off all your reviews…always makes me laugh *wink* you have that gift. Oh and my cousin actually had just sent me "I Give, You Take" like a day before your review came in…rather eerie…anyway despite the fact that that's not the music I commonly listen to, I did enjoy it quite much…great piano part (yeah I'm biased) and great lyrics…hehe. Glad you like my sunrises. I'd like sunrises in real life better if they didn't have to happen so dang early, you know? Yeah I always did want Hitomi's hair to be longer…but somehow the short look works with her character. *shrugs* Can't explain it. Oh, and whether it will stay like that…I don't know. Depends how much time passes in the story.
honeypot: Whenever any future-romantic couple fights, I always find it amusing!! Haha yeah…it's kinda cliché I suppose…but it's so funny, I suppose I get away with it *wink*
Tevrah: Thanks!!
Sara: Hehe well my math class is really easy…so that's why I write in there. *smile* I'm glad you're liking my characters and imagery…I really do try hard, because as much as you're supposed to use your imagination in reading, I don't like having to come up with everything on your own, you know?
dreamingofflyingaway: Oh, I made you skip this time, did I? *big smile* Thanks for being so positive about my mistakes…haha always makes me laugh when I find some anomaly that I don't like, but I'm just too lazy to fix and since no one mentioned it I figure they didn't notice hehe.
Messenger Of Doom: I highly doubt you are on the edge of your seat, but thanks anyway *smile*
SabineballZ: Haha yes they are indeed 'stubborn mules' *big smile* I'm waiting for them to get a bit together too, girl…the story has a mind of its own. It goes where it wills. But eventually…eventually…*sly smile* *snicker*
anon: I'm trying to keep the same rate…really I am.
Hana: I almost forgot you!! You need to send me emails or something…cuz that's how I keep track of who reviewed…hehe. Anyways, thanks for listening to my goofy self!
*sigh* So here it is…and I apologize in advance if all of you are completely mislead by the title…I think it suits this chapter quite well (it took me a while to come up with it) although chances are you all are gonna think it means something other than what it's there for… Please don't hurt me! *innocent eyes* The story will continue 'til it reaches the end, which I know what it's gonna be, so don't get mad! Patience!!
Something tells me I'm worrying for nothing…but…stick with me. *hesitant smile* It may seem like it's going nowhere at times, but it really is, trust me!
So without further ado…here it be.
Disclaimer: I don't own it. Although the auxiliary characters which were not in the movie or series are mine…yes indeed…
Chapter 11: Boys
"Allen, will you stop worrying?"
Allen raked his hands through his blonde hair. "I'm just worried that she could get hurt. Why did Van want to take her, anyway? Isn't she the one they're trying to get?"
Millerna patted his shoulder soothingly. "Allen, Van has his reasons, I'm sure. He wouldn't do something rash or reckless. He knows better."
His mouth flattened. "I hope so," he said darkly.
She kissed his forehead. "Why are you so worried? You don't trust him?"
"No." He looked up at her. "You do?"
"What reason do I have to doubt him?" Millerna sat beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Allen, you never were very good at waiting or trusting someone else in important matters. You need to learn that you are not everyone's protector."
"I know I'm not."
She sighed sadly. "No, you don't."
He pushed her off his shoulder. "What do you know?" His eyes were cold, cutting her heart. "You don't know anything!" Brushing her aside, he strode out of the tent, pain and confusion filling the lines on his face.
Millerna felt her eyes burn with tears. Biting her lip, she looked away. Allen was so hard to love. She knew she loved him…but sometimes he could just be so distant…so… She closed her eyes tightly, feeling a lone tear slip out of her eye and down her pale cheek. It didn't make any sense at all, but she couldn't help but love him. She always had.
And she always would.
* * *
"Oh, this is just great."
Hitomi's face was the epitome of disgruntlement.
"Well, it's not like I planned this," Van muttered back, looking around for some shelter from the impending rain.
She should've known better when she'd seen the thick belt of clouds across the sky that morning. They had just been threatening rain, but she'd overlooked it somehow. Hitomi felt a few drops on her sleeve, and promptly joined Van's search for a covering of some sort. She really didn't feel like getting soaked.
"There!" He pointed, and Hitomi whirled to follow his gaze.
"Where?" Her eyes caught sight of what he was referring to. "Oh, no. You can't be serious…"
"Well, unless you want to get wet, that's just where we'll have to go," Van stated pragmatically, already heading in that direction.
With an inward grimace, she followed him towards the small rock overhang. It was just high enough and wide enough for two people to sit together…that is, if they sat together exceedingly close.
Peering under the rock at Van positioning himself comfortably, Hitomi frowned. "How am I supposed to fit in there?" The rain began to pick up in earnest.
"Princess, I really could care less whether you come out of the rain or stay and get soaked."
She glared at him without any real heat, and squished in beside him, grumbling to herself. "I hate these predicaments."
"Why is it such a predicament?" he asked lazily. "It's not like we haven't been traveling together alone for several days."
She wrinkled her nose at him. "Will you just shut up?"
"You're the one who keeps talking."
Growling under her breath, she twisted her body to rest at a diagonal angle on his. A few minutes of silence descended between them, and Hitomi's temper began to cool off gradually. Despite her awkward situation, she felt peace as she listened to the rain fall, muffling all other noises.
"It's so quiet when it rains," she murmured contemplatively, feeling her frown lines disappear.
"Not when you're around."
Sensing that she was about to retort, he quickly said, "Sorry." She could hear the slight mirth in his tone. "I couldn't resist."
"You never can, can you?" she said darkly.
He shifted behind her. "I suppose I deserved that," he said, unruffled. "So, since we're not going anywhere for a while, how about some more secrets?"
"You make it sound like it's a game."
"Sometimes it feels like it," he said good-naturedly. "So you want me to ask a question, or are you going to just say something?"
She didn't reply for a moment, just idly watching the water cascade off of the top of the rock. Idly, she wondered whether he was just trying to get her off of his back, regretting his comment. But with a second thought, she decided he wouldn't care about her that much. Hitomi wrapped her arms around her knees. "I love the rain," she confessed quietly. "I don't know why exactly…but I know I've always loved it. Somehow…I just know. It's just…so soothing. Replenishing. It cleanses and purifies. It's just…" She trailed off, finding no more words to say to effectively express her thoughts. Calm descended upon her as she concentrated on the wispy sounds of the rainfall.
He chuckled, and for the first time she noticed that he rumbled against her back when he spoke, sitting this close to her. "I started learning to use the sword when I was…God, I can't even remember how old I was. I did it because my older brother would practice, and I always wanted to be like him…" With a faint crease between her eyebrows, Hitomi wondered whether it was possible she actually heard restrained emotion within Van's voice. "It was also a good way to release frustration," he continued in a less confined tone, "and that's how I became so proficient at it."
A comfortable silence fell between them, as each treasured the other's token of trust in their own unique way.
Hitomi closed her eyes and let her body absorb the sensations swirling around her. She felt a peace and contentment she'd not experienced in a long time. The cool breeze caressed her forehead, the rhythmic pattering of rain soothing her mind. She breathed in deep, and inhaled Van's scent right next to her. She felt her stomach twist slightly, as an unprecedented warmth filled her from the inside out. He smelled like a field…like sun, wind, and rain. Like all things good and wild and free and…
Her eyes blinked open. What?!
She instinctively tried to put as much space between them as she could, which amounted to a paltry inch at the most within the confined space of the shelter.
"What's wrong?" She could hear his frown in his voice.
"Nothing."
She looked sideways at him, only to find his mahogany eyes watching her with some indescribable emotion. "That again, huh?" he said flatly. Shrugging, he turned his back to her. "Whatever, Princess. You can stay in your little world and I'll stay in mine, alright?"
Feeling a strange sense of loss within her, Hitomi mirrored his movement, staring hard into the distance. The inch that separated them might as well have been a mile.
* * *
"So, they are on the move?"
"Yes." The man's gravelly voice echoed in the chamber. "They are searching for you, Folken."
"I know." The tall man in the draping cloak bowed his head, his eyes closed in respect. "I have suspected that the Dragon would come one day. He never was one to give up."
"The girl has remarkable power," the old man said. "It is best she does not realize it."
"Indeed, Dornkirk."
"She must not become close with the Dragon. I have foreseen the destruction it would cause. The Dragon must be neutralized. Can it be done?"
The tall, pale-haired man's mouth curved at the edges in a mocking smile. "The Dragon does not need to be neutralized. He is quite adept at doing it himself."
"Indeed?" The man's voice was curious. "How so?"
"The sorcerers have been keeping track of their emotions. It is not very hard to follow, considering both appear to harbor extreme feelings of resentment toward each other most of the time. Knowing the Dragon as I do, I can only suspect he is to blame for much of the friction."
"Perhaps," the man murmured thoughtfully. "Will he stand in the way of our plan?"
Folken bowed slightly. "I will make sure that he does not."
"Very good."
The man's face faded from the wall, and Folken's eyes opened in reddish slits. Peering into nothing, he murmured, "Van. So you have come to find me." His cloak moved aside to reveal a gruesome metallic attachment rather than a human arm. Gazing at it dispassionately, he continued talking, his voice deep and with just a hint of painful hope lacing its dark syllables. "I hope you will listen to what I have to say. I hope you will understand what I must do. What I have already begun. For the good of Gaia.
"For your good."
* * *
"Why are we stopping by a village?"
Van frowned at her. "I need to get some more information."
"Let me guess…your 'connections?'"
"Yes."
"Will I ever get to know what's going on?"
"Maybe."
She let out a breath. "Fine. Will I at least be able to wander around within the village? Is it a dangerous place?"
Van shook his head. "No. I know everyone in the village. It is quite safe. You can roam the marketplace, if you like. But I would ask that you not leave the village proper."
"Why would I do that, Van? I'm not stupid."
He raised an eyebrow, but made no comment.
Hitomi wished she could hit him with good reason.
Sometimes he was just insufferable.
At least she wouldn't have to endure his aggravating presence the whole time. He had given her permission to go somewhere alone, and by God, she would!
Wandering around the marketplace some time after Van had curtly reminded her to 'not do anything foolish,' she stopped over a bridge, looking out over the small river that rushed beneath her. It was soothing, and she found that she had forgotten how pleasant being alone could be. It was so nice to know that Van would not be coming up behind her, interrupting her musings with his cold or insensitive comments.
Closing her eyes, she listened to the bubbling brook and bustling sounds of the marketplace, enjoying the pure normality of it all.
"Hello."
A tugging on her shirt brought her attention to a little boy standing beside her.
He was beaming like a little ray of sunshine. "I've never seen you before," he said curiously. "You're pretty."
Hitomi blushed slightly. "That's very sweet of you to say that," she smiled.
His pale hair gleamed in the sunlight, and clear blue-gray eyes peered up at her from underneath golden brows. "My name's Hideki. What's yours?"
Hideki…
She blinked, once again her world shifting from under her feet.
A little boy wrapped his small, chubby arms around her waist. She must have been just barely a teenager.
"Hitomi, will you teach me to sing?"
She laughed. "Silly boy, I can't sing. You know that!"
"Nuh-uh." He shook his head emphatically. "Papa says you sing like those pretty sunrise birds that live in Fanelia."
"Papa also says that angels exist," she chuckled.
"They do!" The little boy's blue eyes were instantaneously serious. "I saw one!"
She smiled tolerantly. "Now Hideki, where would you have been able to see one?""
"I did," he insisted. "He flew over me once. He didn't know I was looking."
"I'm sure he did." She patted him on his blonde little head. "How about we just go play in the river? You have those boats Jael made for you, right?"
"Ye-ess…" he said carefully, obviously wanting to prove to her the existence of angels. "But-"
"Hideki, we'll talk about other things there, okay? Just run and get your boats."
At her promise, his face lit up and he beamed up at her. "I love you, Hitomi!" he said in his excited child-like voice, and after giving her another big hug, he raced down the hall.
Hitomi felt herself smile tenderly at the little boy scampering off, anticipation obvious in his every movement…
She blinked. Looking down at the boy, who now seemed to her like déjà vu, she remembered he had asked her a question. "Uh, my name's Hitomi," she said.
"Are you from here, Hitomi?"
"Not really," she murmured.
His big eyes were adorably serious. "Are you an angel then?"
She smiled gently, reminded of that memory…whatever it was. "No, I'm not. Though I wish I was."
"I think you are," he stated positively.
"Well, we can pretend then. You can be an angel, too."
"Really?" His eyes widened. "I can be an angel?"
"You look like one," she laughed.
"Do you want to play? I would like to play with you, Hitomi." The little boy pleaded up at her with puppy-dog eyes.
Her heart irresistibly softened. "I think perhaps you should ask your mother," she suggested. "She might not like you playing with a stranger."
"Okay!" He rushed off towards a booth in the marketplace, and tugged on a brown-haired woman's skirt. The woman looked in Hitomi's direction, and then back at her son. She listened to him jabber some more, and then nodded and walked hand in hand with the boy to Hitomi.
"Hideki tells me that you're an angel," the woman said with an understanding smile. Her brown eyes had creases at the corners from long days of hard work, but they still shone with the inner brightness of one who is truly content in life.
Hitomi chuckled. "He's got quite an imagination."
"Yes, he does." The woman looked at her speculatively, but also with good humor. "You are Hitomi?"
"Yes."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Hitomi. I am Janna. Perhaps you might like to watch my son for a while." She smiled amusingly down at her son. "He is a handful, and does his best to cause havoc among the marketplace."
Hitomi looked at the woman, slightly surprised. "You would trust me to watch him?"
"I am an excellent judge of character, Hitomi. You are most definitely one I can trust. And in addition to that, my son doesn't take an instant liking to strangers very often."
Hideki was looking up at her hopefully.
Hitomi couldn't erase her smile even if she wanted to. "I would be delighted to play with Hideki as long as I stay here," she said truthfully, emphasizing 'play' for Hideki's sake rather than 'watch.'
With joyous excitement, Hideki wrapped his arms around her waist. "Let's play with my boats, Hitomi! I have so many!"
Waving goodbye to Janna, with a promise that she would not stray far, Hitomi turned her attention to her tiny charge. She shook her head. This is too eerie. What are the chances that… Did I have this in a vision at some point? Did this happen at some point in my past? Or is it just…Does history really repeat itself?
Van watched Hitomi from across the marketplace.
Bohdan's information had been very helpful. Without it, they would probably still be heading in the wrong direction. Thankfully, no one seemed to know of Van's clandestine contacts. It was best if it could be kept that way, Zaibach's spies believing that they were still heading in the wrong direction.
They should probably leave now, to make up for lost time. But for some reason, Van was feeling almost lethargic. He leaned back in the chair to make himself more comfortable.
She had found a little boy. One that obviously took to her like a duck takes to water. They were playing with boats, or some such nonsense, underneath the bridge.
He frowned in thought, his serious eyes observing her intently. He'd never seen her like this. It was like something had changed. She didn't appear to be the temperamental, sarcastic, secretive Hitomi that he had always seen. It was like her whole persona had softened, showing a side of her that she must have buried under the mounds of defense she had erected around her heart. But somehow, it didn't surprise him half as much as it should have. Because he'd seen it on her face before.
He'd seen it while she was sleeping.
He knew the truth. Not only was she a beautiful woman, she had a beautiful soul. Two things that would snag a man and tie him down for life.
He pitied the poor lout who was unfortunate enough to fall in love with her.
Because she could be so impatient, so irritating, so utterly stubborn. He'd seen it in her eyes that she had known she was wrong the other morning, but she had been far too obstinate to admit it to him. And what kind of a man wanted a woman he would fight with forever? A woman who would never admit to being wrong?
Certainly not him. He hadn't the time nor the patience.
Of course, life would be rather dull with a woman who conceded to everything he said…
He didn't like either extreme. It was just as well he remained alone.
After all, he wouldn't know what to do if he had wanted to find a woman to spend the rest of his life with.
Bohdan returned at that moment, plunking a mug of water in front of him. "So, she is your partner, eh?"
"Such as it is," Van murmured.
"She is quite beautiful," he mentioned. "You must be having trouble beating the men away from her."
Van shrugged. "I don't wear a sword just to make my belt sag at the hip."
"Of course." Bohdan grinned. "I should have known just a look from you would quell the anxious mob."
The dark-haired man rolled his eyes. "Yes, they have been pursuing her like flies after rotten meat," he muttered sardonically.
"Most interesting metaphor, Van." The man's hazel eyes twinkled. "You have taken a liking to her, no?"
"Not really."
"Oh?"
Van's brows lowered as he looked in his companion's direction. "Don't tempt me, Bohdan. You know when I say something that that is the end of it."
"I'm sure it is."
"I don't like her," Van stated, almost protesting. "She's too headstrong for my taste. Besides, she's made it clear on several occasions that she wishes I would drop off the edge of Gaia."
"Definitely true love."
Van's eyes glared at the man. "If love is synonymous with hate, then it is."
"You'd be surprised at the nature of love."
His laugh was harsh. "Love. How pointless. What good is love except to break your heart over and over again?"
"Have you ever been in love?"
"No. But I've seen what it does to people. Frankly, I'd rather remain a recluse than have to go through such problems. It's like love intensifies all your problems, making something that should be insignificant seem like the biggest malady in the world. I can't stand the absurdity of it all."
"You have such a bleak view of the world, Van," Bohdan chuckled. "It astounds me how you've lived so far."
"That's if you can call it 'living,'" Van said flatly.
Bohdan's humor lessened. "Van, revenge isn't the meaning to life."
"Don't tell me how to live." The hard edge had come back into his eyes. "You've never experienced it," he said coldly to his friend. "The empty, helpless feeling of knowing that someone you love is dying but there is nothing you can do to help. The knowledge that forever haunts you, telling you that you should've done something. Knowing that you'll never be able to truly make it right."
"You're right. I haven't. But I have experienced one thing that you never have."
"What's that?"
"Love may be the greatest pain, but it is also the greatest joy in life. To know someone loves you for not only your abilities, but your faults as well. Without love, life is just existence. With love, life is actually living."
Bohdan patted Van's shoulder in farewell, leaving him to stare in Hitomi's direction blindly. After a few minutes of mute contemplation, he stood from the chair, stretching as he did so. With a final glance in her direction, he turned and walked away to restock their supplies.
* * *
He next found Hitomi and her little charge lying on the grassy bank beside the river, gazing avidly at the sky.
"Hideki, I honestly cannot comprehend how you would see that in the clouds," she laughed, her lilting voice reminding him piercingly of the sunrise bird of his homeland.
"Hitomi, you're silly!" the little boy exclaimed. "Anyone can see it!"
"Apparently I can't," she stated good-naturedly, ruffling his pale hair, and then brushing it back from his forehead.
For the first time, Van felt very awkward eavesdropping, but he couldn't understand why. He cleared his throat, hoping it was an unobtrusive yet effective way to make his presence known. Watching her any longer would just intensify the bizarre thoughts that persisted in infusing his mind.
Hitomi sat up abruptly and turned in his direction. "Oh. It's you."
Her lack of enthusiasm did nothing to diminish the memory of the pure, unadulterated happiness he'd seen for just a moment within her eyes, right before she had looked at him. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"
The little boy – Hideki, he recalled her identifying him – pushed himself up as well. "Who is it?" he asked innocently, looking with wide, inquisitive eyes towards Van.
"It's – ah – a friend," Hitomi explained obliquely, patting the little boy's blonde hair affectionately. "Stay here. I'll be right back, I promise."
"Okay," he grinned trustingly, lying back down on the soft grass.
With an expression of strained patience on her face, Hitomi walked towards Van. "What do you want?" she asked in a low voice.
He regarded her solemnly. "We should start going."
"Now?"
He could hear the faint sadness in her voice, quite positive that she was unaware it was there. "We've been going the wrong way," he admitted. "And we can't stay in one place for too long. It's too dangerous."
"We haven't even been here a day!"
"I know." He tried to keep his tone sympathetic, having taken notice of the bond she'd developed with the boy. "But it's not only dangerous for us."
Closing her eyes in silent acquiescence, she nodded with understanding and sighed. "Alright. Just let me say goodbye."
Van felt his mouth curve in a slight grin. "Why haven't you taken to me as quickly as you've taken to this little one?"
Her face showed she wasn't amused. "He's not heartless and rude."
"When have I been rude?"
Her eyes cooled. "I could list several instances."
"Go ahead."
Her eyes narrowing, she said, "That day I was practicing my archery, and you got upset at me for something that was your own fault, and you…you…"
"Kissed you?"
She made a face. "That wasn't a kiss!"
"Then what is?"
Crossing her arms stubbornly, she remarked, "Well, it wasn't a proper kiss."
"Do you want a proper kiss?"
"No! And certainly not from the likes of you!" Turning away from him, she strode back toward her companion, sitting beside him and talking quietly. He sat up and responded, looking up at her sadly. She nodded, her mouth tipping slightly in a soothing smile. They stood together, holding hands as she said one more thing. The little boy wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, saying something that was obviously muffled in her shirt. She laughed lightly, crouching down to look him in the eye. With a tender smile, she brushed the hair back from his forehead and kissed it gently. Pulling back, she murmured one last thing that he smiled at, and then he turned and raced away to the marketplace.
Hitomi remained in her crouched position, watching the little boy disappear into the throngs of people and waving at someone he couldn't see. A bittersweet smile curved her soft lips, and as he watched her Van couldn't help but feel jealous of a little boy and his open smile.
*:-D I do like that ending…yes indeed…*snicker*
So did any of you catch the picture of Folken that I tried to describe? *big smile* It's pretty popular…I feel like I see it on every Folken website…you know, the picture with him looking at his metal arm almost sadly…hehe.
Yeah so with my writing, you may catch glimpses of pictures from Escaflowne…you know, in the writing you'll just be like… 'hey wait a minute…I KNOW THAT PICTURE!!' If you've seen many of the pictures of course…if not, well then…uh…you'll just be like 'oh that's nice.'
Indeed, yeah, so enough of this pointless rambling. Anyone catch any little boo-boos? I think I got most of them all…but if you see any tell me, k?
I don't have a clear and concise plan for the next chapter
so it may be a little touch-and-go there for a while…next update may be in a
little bit…don't get your hopes up…I'd rather you guys be surprised than
disappointed. At least that's my philosophy…the pessimistic optimist, to the
very end *wink*.
Yeah so, hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I like writing it! Til the next chapter!!
-wink*
*ps. You know what's funny…in my profile I explain why my nickname is 'wink' and then I assert that I don't really wink that much…but as I look back over all my comments…I find that statement to be in error *wink* hehe strange…*