AN: So we are heading into the part of the story where I couldn't make it work before, I hope it does now. A huge thanks and love goes to my lovely beta, Naaa-E whom I owe my eternal gratitude to. She helped me so much!

And thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favorites, it really does make my day, and I hope you will continue liking this as we now head into more interesting stuff.

The ball started off with a formal dance that the king and queen shared. As the music began playing, Alistair led his wife happily on the floor, before all the people gathered around them and joined the dance.

Elissa smiled as they moved across the floor with ease. She always loved dancing, as her mother taught her that. Dancing was a way to express her feelings.

When Alistair twirled her around, and lifted her up, she felt as if she was in another world, alone and careless, only with the music to accompany her. For a few moments, she didn't have to worry about the anything, Nathaniel, the suspicions of her being barren, nothing. The music was soothing to her ears and she hummed quietly along with it. She wished it would never end, but it would and she would be forced back into her world of problems and worries.

She had corresponded with her brother for the first time in ages since her second return to Denerim. A smile played along her lips knowing he was here tonight. The only kin she had left had remarried and became the Teyrn of Highever. The woman was from Orlais as his lost wife, she learned, which was not surprising as Fergus especially liked women from that country.

So much more sophisticated and less war hungry, he had told her in his letter, making her slightly chuckle.

She felt Alistair's tight grip around her, making her fly across the floor. Her eyes were open and they interlocked with Alistair's warm gaze. He smiled tenderly at her.

He also told her that his wife was with child, and she would have to visit Highever as soon as possible. She should have visited for his wedding but it was held when she was Commander, and couldn't make it, which saddened her, but she sent him a letter, wishing him the best.

The dance ended eventually, much to her dismay, and Elissa's inner musings came to an abrupt ending. There were loud applauses held for them, and the king took her hand in his and walked up to their throne.

"The Winter ball has been held for many generations, and this year it would be no exception. Enjoy the feast!" Alistair had never been much of a speaker for occasions like these, but sometimes fewer words meant more and the nobles happily scattered around to talk, dance, eat and drink. Both she and Alistair went to mingle as well.

Elissa was curious about the new Commander as she had not had a chance to talk to her as of yet. Her first priority was to talk with her brother, and then with the Commander, and for all that is holy –to avoid Nathaniel.

The music was playing once again, a faster tune, and as she walked among the grinning nobles whom she knew were questioning her being barren, she felt a pat on her shoulder form behind.

"Guess who?" said a very happy voice.

Elissa smiled and turned around to see her brother, his arms interlocked with a woman, that she guessed was his wife. She was far along as you could see on the counters of her dress, her belly poked out quite heavily.

"Fergus," she breathed, and she hugged him. He had barely changed. His hair was still a mess as it always had been.

"My sweet little sister, father would have been so proud if he could see you today," she could feel his grin against her hair as he spoke.

"This is my wife," he started when they parted, "Camille, this is my sister."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet the famous hero of Ferelden, your Majesty," Camille bowed, making Elissa blush and murmur, "Please don't call me that. We are family."

"Always so modest," Fergus chuckled.

"One of us has to be," She muttered at him, making him laugh harder.

"How have you been? I hope Fergus hasn't been too much for you," She said the last part directed to Camille.

"We have been well, and the Maker has blessed us with a child," Fegus practically beamed as his hand travelled to his wife's belly, rubbing it gently. "Your brother is...tiring at times, but we're very happy," Camille continued with a smile, in a thick Orlesian accent.

"Remember how I used to give mother a headache at least three times a day?" Fergus winked at his sister.

"I do," she smirked at him. "Are you staying here in the palace for a while?" she asked.

"We are staying for two days, Camille and I are both homesick already, and I do not like leaving Highever for longer than necessary."

Elissa nodded in understanding; Rendon Howe had left heavy marks over there and Fergus barely left the Highever grounds for more than a day after he was given back their home.

She had told Fergus that she made the youngest Howe a Warden, and he disapproved immensely, his letters were angry at first, and their communication slowed for a time; she didn't want to worry about her brother's disdain for the man, but by now she thought it would have soothed since he hadn't mentioned him in the last letters they had shared.

"Fergus, I need to tell you that Nathaniel is here tonight with some other Wardens, and I hope and expect out of you as a Cousland not to bring up old scars," she said warningly as his face darkened, "I have told you he had nothing to do with what happened."

Fergus looked at her like she had suddenly grown an extra head, "Please brother, past grudges must die or we will never be able to move on. The past is the past and the one that caused us pain is dead."

"He is here, how can I not ignore him? I will take one look at the man and I will see Rendon Howe that day, with his fictitious smile, knowing that he would slaughter our family!"

"I know that this is difficult, but Fergus, I have been with him in Amaranthine for over a year and believe me when I tell you it has not been easy for me or him for that matter. Do remember he came back to Ferelden only knowing that his father died by my hands..." her voice faded, realizing that Nathaniel had not acted like she was the most hateful creature in Thedas, since their conversation at the keep.

She shook the thought out of her head, "Just promise me you will not to anything rash."

He let out a heavy sigh, "Very well, I will not."

"Thank you," She patted him on the shoulder.

"Well, sister, we will not keep you occupied, but do visit us or I will come here myself and drag the queen to my humble home. It will not do the Cousland name any good," he joked, and with a wink, he and his wife walked away.

Elissa sighed and shook her head; she had missed her brother, but she could not talk to him here, with his wife and hungry ears available. They had been best friends, and she realized she needed someone to talk to. She wondered if he would listen or if he would never forgive her...

She was offered a drink from one of the servants, which she gladly took, and searched for the Warden Commander. After a quick scan she found her standing with the rest of the Wardens including Nathaniel and she decided her conversation would be saved for later. Her eyes lingered on the rogue, and he was quick enough to look back. She turned her head quickly and felt her heart speed up.

She suddenly wanted nothing more than to get away, she could not go to the balcony even though she would love the fresh air; the cold would kill her.

She could feel his presence vibrating through her core and even without looking she knew he was behind her. It was radiating in waves and she swallowed thickly, trying to wet her suddenly dried mouth.

Her shoulders tensed, and she sighed internally; what could he possibly want? And here out of all places...

He must have sensed her distress, "Do I frighten you that much?" he spoke in a whisper but it was enough for her to hear him.

"No," Her voice held no conviction, much to her dismay. She slowly turned around and steeled herself to look him in the eye. He was at a respectful distance, not wanting to be in her private space at a commotion as the ball. His hands were held behind his back. His gaze intoxicated her; she'd almost forgotten that she wasn't alone with him in the big hall.

"I do not wish to disturb you, Your Majesty, but there is a matter I need to discuss with you in private."

He was talking with full respect, without any malice.

"What is that you want to discuss?" She asked, her voice betraying her emotions.

His all knowing smirk, which she expected never came, instead his face was expressionless, maintaining his distance and his respect as he answered back, "Something that is more suited somewhere where there aren't any unwanted listeners."

"What is this about?" She inquired, not wanting to be left in the dark.

He actually looked troubled and he avoided her eyes when he answered, "It is best that I save that for later. After the ball we will talk."

She sighed and relaxed her posture, "Where?"

"In my quarters."

"Nathaniel, I swear if this is a trick-"

"No trick, my queen," He cut her off, "I would not stoop low enough to plant tricks to get you to my quarters alone, now would I?"

She resented in silence knowing that he was telling the truth. What would he possibly want to talk about in private that could be so important then?

"The King will probably wonder where I have gone."

"He will be kept occupied," Nathaniel assured, and stepped closer to her, making her tense up again.

"Until then, your majesty," He whispered as he grasped her hand and kissed her knuckles, publicly visibly for everyone to see.

To her utmost mortification, shivers trailed up from her hand up to her neck and her cheeks heated. Nathaniel made a small bow and left, although she could bet he was wickedly grinning at her reaction.

Elissa looked around her and noticed that no one had seen her interaction with the irksome rogue, and sighed out a relief and absently rubbed her forehead.

The rest of the evening proceeded as it should, she presumed. All the nobles were happy, some getting more intoxicated then needed, and Alistair seemed happy as he walked around and talked to people. Elissa couldn't concentrate, as her mind was filled with questions about what was to come.

It was nighttime. Nathaniel waited in the room he was given in the palace for her to come. He sat in one of the armchairs looking into the intensity of the fire roaring in the bed of coals.

If she still hated him there was no doubt it would be worse now, and no matter how much Nathaniel wanted to think it would be for the better, he couldn't.

All rational thinking had disappeared, his hate forgotten, vengeance he once wanted gone, all because of what they started that night that led them both here.

A glass was held in his other hand. He pressed it against his lips and swallowed the burning liquid to dull the pain that was to come.

He heard a knock on the door, but he didn't bother turning, as he knew who it was. The door opened, and heard voices speak.

"I will be back shortly. Tell the king we have an urgent matter to discuss that involves Amaranthine," Nathaniel turned his head to see Elissa talking to one of her maids,

"Thank you Lyra," she spoke in a silent tone as Lyra bowed and gave a secretive smile when she walked away.

Elissa closed the door, and slowly turned to face him.

"Make most of your time, I won't stay for long." She said briskly.

She noted the glass in his hand and frowned, she haven't seen him drink alcohol unless it was a festivity. There was something in the air, the atmosphere felt different and from the way Nathaniel stood up from his chair with his shoulders slumped made her wonder how serious this could be. She could tell he tried to hide the grave expression on his face, but his eyes gave it up.

She cleared her throat and asked what it was he wanted to talk about.

Nathaniel eyes caught hers like a fox, and she felt her cheeks burning, and her shoulders tensed immediately. His hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing slightly as if to ease off the discomfort he felt, "You better sit down."

Elissa quirked her eyebrow at his request, thinking this had to be one of his games. She was about to retort but found herself unable to, as she studied his face. The mask he upheld was falling apart and she saw a worried man. She found herself sitting as he bade her to do.

Once she was seated, Nathaniel took a deep breath and turned so he faced the fireplace, causing Elissa to feel even more uncomfortable then before. Something was definitely amiss.

"I don't think there is a more pleasant way to say this. I wish there was..." There was a moment of silence, only the sound of cracking fire to fill the heavy silence. Elissa tried to calm her alarmed nerves, wishing whatever this was to be over.

"Please, Nathaniel I do not have time to-" She started but was cut off by Nathaniel raspy voice.

"Elissa, you must tell the king of our infidelity."

It felt like the world came to a halt. Her heart was beating at such rapid speed she was sure it would burst out of her chest any second.

Nathaniel had gone from his place at the fire and walked over to her and crouched next to her seat. Elissa felt paralyzed out of shock to notice his presence as such close distance but it quickly turned into rage. She whipped her head quickly to his side and looked at him as if he was hallucinating but the air got sucked out of her when she realized he was being serious. She clenched her hands on the sides of the chair,

"How dare you ask that of me? Have you completely lost your mind?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Nathaniel stared at her, his mouth quivering into a smile, but it did not contain any happiness or malice, it was...pained.

"I wish that would be the case."

"Why would you ask that of me? Why now? It will break Alistair's heart if I tell him. Our marriage is still fragile and if I tell him it will destroy everything! I can't do that to him..."

"You don't think as your husband he has the right to know?"

Her eyes were raging when he said this and she stood up quickly making her counterpart stand as well.

"What we did was a mistake, something I regret beyond limits. I love him, and because you hold a petty grudge against me still after all this time does not give you the right to tell me what to do!"

"That is not the case! Listen to-"

"No, just because you finally grew a conscience does not mean I will destroy everything I have to satisfy you!"

Nathaniel tried to grab her hand to stop her raging rant, but she snatched it away like she was burned by fire.

"Will you listen to-"

"NO!" she screamed at him, "You must stop harassing me! You have no right! You HAVE NO RIGHT!" He was taken aback by her sudden outburst.

"You have no right," she repeated in a shaky whisper, breathing heavily after her screams.

She backed away from him with staggering steps.

He got to her quickly, grabbed her wrists and pulled her towards him, his arms holding her like she would flee any moment. Her entire posture stiffened but he ignored it, "listen to me. This isn't about what I want! This isn't about us," He said.

"Then what is it about?" she asked bitterly.

"About you and the king."

She was flustered for a moment, unable to answer him. He let go of her wrists, and went to the side, and looked at her intensely.

"How did you survive the Archdemon?"

"What?" she paled at the mention of the question, a subtle tremor passed through her that didn't go unnoticed by Nate. She was not prepared for this question.

"The taint, the taint doesn't only give us powers and shorten our lifespan, Elissa, does it?"

He waited for her to say anything, but she was very still, every word he uttered caused her to pale even more.

"It has a far more dangerous job," he continued, "It's the taint within that truly enables a warden to kill the Archdeamon, and he who delivers the killing blow dies. So, tell me, how did you survive?"

"I..." Elissa muttered, her voice shaken, "I do not know..."

Nathaniel stared at her for a moment; he could barely hear her voice as she muttered her denial.

"Then let me tell you," He began again, his voice heated with passion, "A witch you gathered from the wilds, who promised her aid, approached you on the eve of battle, and offered you a way out. Let his majesty father a babe who'd be born with the taint. The taint in the child would absorb the soul of the Old God, but because the babe is yet too young and too innocent, it wouldn't destroy him."

Elissa stared at him in horror as he continued.

"You accepted the offer, trying to protect King Alistair, and the mother of the babe disappeared not too long after, with the babe growing in her belly."

"How..." Elissa tried to ask, but her voice failed her.

Nathaniel's eyes were full of an emotion she did not understand, "Chancellor Eamon, he told me everything."

"What?" her voice meek, her mind racing with what Nathaniel just declared. Alistair told Eamon their darkest secrets? The sudden flare of anger and shame ignited inside of her, as the memories of that awful night raced back to her, "What does this have to do with anything?" she hissed.

Nathaniel only shook his head in sympathy.

"So it is true..."

A part of him had hoped dearly that the whole story was but a fib spun by Eamon, he wanted it to be a fib, so he could claw Eamon's heart out for calling her a harlot, and call him a traitor before the king, but it all faded into thin air as he saw the defeated look in her eyes.

"I was scared..." she began, her voice cracking a bit, "I couldn't bear the thought of losing him...and I did not want to die," she admitted, her eyes cast downwards in shame.

"I understand..."

Elissa looked up at him suddenly, her eyes burning red with rage, "No you don't!" she snarled, "You don't know what it means to be told on the eve of the single most important battle that you must die..."

"I thought Riordan offered-"

"Riordan was dying; the taint wouldn't have spared him much longer! He'd been traveling for days, then was captured and tortured by Howe's men."

She could see Nathaniel's face harden at the mention of his father, but she couldn't bring herself to stop.

"He said one of us would have to take the killing blow, but there wasn't really much of an option! Should Riordan fail, the deed would have been mine to do. Alistair was the king; he couldn't die so it had to be me!"

Nathaniel tried to say something, but his words failed him. He opened his mouth a few times, trying to say that he understood, but truly, he couldn't. He couldn't even understand how a woman who had lost everything was able to achieve what she had achieved.

"I couldn't lose him, Nathaniel, I loved him," she finally admitted, "And I didn't want to die."

Had he not seen her lips move, he wouldn't have been sure that she said those final words. Maker give him strength, how could he tell her what he came to tell?

"This witch, do you know her whereabouts?"

Elissa shook her head, "No," she replied, "As promised, she disappeared with the child right after the battle."

She massaged her cheeks before asking, "I don't understand. What does this have to do with anything?"

"Ferelden is in danger, a very grave one."

She frowned, waiting for him to continue.

"Tevinter has somehow acquired knowledge about this child, and they want to have it," he turned to face her, his look grave, "They want the essence of the Old God."

"What does this have to do with Ferelden? Morrigan surely has fled a long time ago..."

"They don't think it was Morrigan who bore the child...they think it was you."