Notes: This chapter is a little intense. There are two chapters left after this one and I won't lie, they aren't that good. Again, Luna and Draco might be out of character, but again, I don't care. Ha. Ignore any errors and enjoy.
Warning: Suicidal themes, self harm, cursing, the like
Summary: He was so far under, all he could see was her
Disclaimer: See chapter one
Reminder: Please review!
You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you
-Taylor Swift, Cold As You
We have to talk. Meet me at the tower at lunch.
I stared at the note, a feeling of dread overtaking my entire body. This had to be a big deal. If it wasn't, Draco just would have talked to me someplace else. We stopped going to the Astronomy Tower when our relationship became public, almost a month ago. Lately, Draco had been acting funny, but I figured, I hoped, he would snap out of it. I almost didn't go to meet him, but I knew I had to. I walked up the stairs slowly. He was outside, leaning against the wall. I closed the door loudly behind me. He turned around.
"Hey," he said, putting his hands in his pockets.
I didn't want to beat around the bush. "What did you want to talk about?" I asked, wanting to walk towards him, but staying where I was.
"It's just…I've been keeping it from you for a while now." He confessed, looking guilty. "And I wanted to apologize before you see it."
Then slowly, he rolled up his left sleeve. My hand automatically jumped to my mouth when I gasped.
"Is that the…" I couldn't even say it. I was too shocked.
"The Dark Mark." He finished, not looking me in the eye.
I reached out for him, but pulled my hand back. I couldn't believe it. "Why didn't you tell me before? How long have you had it?"
"Just about all year." He said, sounding truthful. This was something I could believe. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want anyone else to know."
"Anyone else?" I repeated shrilly. "Do your friends know?" He nodded. "Stop me if I'm wrong. So you told your friends, who you say aren't really your friends, but don't tell me, the girl you claim to be in love with? Because you didn't want anyone else to know. Am I wrong?"
"No."
"You should have told me," I whispered, looking away.
There was a short pause. "I didn't want this." He told me. "I don't want to be a Death Eater."
I glanced at him. He looked truthful, but I couldn't be sure. I felt betrayed, and it was a horrible feeling. "Then don't be one."
"It's not that simple."
"It is that simple. Go to Dumbledore-" he flinched and I don't know why, but I wasn't concerned about it "-he can help you."
"I can't."
"What do you mean you can't? You're confusing me. You don't want to be a Death Eater, yet you don't want to do anything to change it?" I asked, but he didn't reply.
Suddenly, I knew what had to happen. My eyes started to tear up. I took an unsteady breath. "I can't-" I didn't want my voice cracking. I wanted to sound strong. "I can't do this."
He glanced up sharply at me, looking surprised. "What?"
I took another deep breath. "You heard me." I said. "We can't be together anymore." I turned and started to leave.
"Luna, wait." I stopped but didn't turn around.
"I'm a lot better at goodbyes then you." I put my hand on the door handle. "I've had a lot of practice." I glanced back and quickly turned away. "I still care about you, so…don't do anything stupid."
And then I left.
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and
It won't leave me alone
-Evanescence, My Immortal
Time passed, only I stopped caring about it. I went to class in a daze. I barely ate. I understood completely what people meant when they talked about hearts breaking. I kept my eyes cast downward all the, especially if I was around people.
The other students seemed to figure out something happened between us when we stopped talking, stopped being together, stopped looking at each other. Well, we made eye contact a few times, four to be exact. The first time was the day after I ended things. It was a quick glance. The second time was Valentine's Day while I was trying to block out all the chatter. It took everything I had to not look back at him. The third time was the day the students would be leaving for Easter holiday while he was saying goodbye to his friends. Apparently he was staying for the holiday and I spent the majority of my time in the Ravenclaw common room so I wouldn't accidentally bump into him.
But it was the fourth time that was the big deal. It was in June, while I was entering potions. It was just like what happened what seemed like forever ago. Draco was leaving and bumped into me. He saw it was me. The students around us stopped and were looking at us, as if waiting for something to happen. Draco opened his mouth, obviously trying to say something, I didn't give him the chance. I looked away and walked into the room and sat down. I pulled my book out and a piece of paper fell out of it. I bent down and picked it up. It had my name written across it in handwriting I knew. Slowly, I unfolded the paper and read:
I'm sorry I hurt you. I wish I could tell you in person, but this is the only way I can let you know. Tonight something big is going to happen. I'm doing something stupid, but I have to ask you to be careful. For me.
DM.
I was confused, but my heart also fluttered at the fact he cared enough to write me a note, as much as I wish it didn't.
---
I wasn't confused anymore. My fake Galleon from my days in Dumbledore's Army grew hot and suddenly it was on. Somehow, Death Eaters got into the school and while Harry Potter alerted the Order of the Phoenix, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and I started fighting.
The battle took a long time, but we come out victoriously. And it was after the battle that we learned what had happened.
Draco found a way to help other Death Eaters into Hogwarts castle. He went to the Astronomy Tower (our tower, I thought miserably) where he tried to kill Dumbledore (which explained why Draco didn't want to go to him for help) but couldn't. Snape had to do it for him and they escaped. As much as I didn't like it, I felt relieved when I learned Draco wasn't hurt, but I didn't say anything. I didn't need everybody hating me, or thinking I was a spy.
When I went to bed that night, I not only felt miserable, I kind of hated myself for letting him go.