Chapter 11 - The Beginning Of The Games

Today was the day. I'd wondered about this day for many years. Not for myself, but for the hundreds of other people that had gone through it. As I'd sat and watched the opening few minutes of the bloodbath (never more than that – once the tributes met and people started dying Mother always turned off the TV, not wanting Stevie or Stacey to see.) I'd always wondered what must be going through the heads of the tributes – the children picked out of nowhere and forced into a few weeks of hell. I'd wondered what they'd thought when they'd woken up, when they'd eaten their breakfast, when they'd been forced into those little glass cylinders and had risen up into what was probably their certain death. I'd wondered intently for those couple of minutes – then I'd stood up from my seat and forgotten. Now that child was me.

I discovered quickly the emotions felt by a tribute on game day. Firstly, you didn't eat. At all. Haymitch tried desperately to shove some food and drink down my throat, telling me over and over again that I'd be begging for it in the arena, but it wouldn't go down. I also found myself unable to focus on one particular thing for more than a second. If I was concentrating on buttering a bit of toast, my knife suddenly became a dagger and the bread another tribute, forcing me to quickly set it down and pick up something else. I knew this behaviour was probably worrying, but Haymitch and Effie didn't seem too perplexed. This must be how everybody acted. Tina didn't surface for breakfast for hours and I figured she must be sleeping, but when she eventually did arrive her eyes looked tired and red, like she'd been crying. She hadn't been sleeping at all – but hiding from us. What was to come. After Effie tried, and failed, to do the same thing Haymitch had with me in regards to food, we were told to shower and dress in causal clothes. Of course we would be given outfits to wear in the arena, but I used this as an opportunity to feel comfortable in something I was wearing for the last time. The khaki slacks reminded me of the ones I wore at home when I got back from school and I stretched the tight fitting t-shirt out enough that the collar was a little gaping, but I at least felt like my chest wasn't on display. When I entered the room that housed the elevator Haymitch smirked at my attempt at DIY.

"Didn't like the clothes?" He asked, pointing to my shirt.

"They were a little constricting." There was silence for a second, then we both laughed.

When Tina arrived she said nothing to Haymitch. I was a little sad that she was going to end her time with our mentor still on bad terms, but I suppose to her what he had done was unforgivable. Effie offered to come with us to the end but it wasn't necessary – when I held her close as she hugged me I realised how fragile she was – that underneath all that chirpiness and precision she was just as sad about losing us as we were.

The elevator journey felt longer than usual. We did it in silence, which probably added to the time, and when the doors pinged open Haymitch strode out, leaving me and Tina inside. Glancing over I saw her eyes desperate with fear – I reached my hand out to hers and she gripped it with not one but both of them.

"Come on guys." Haymitch said, rather gruffly, which I guessed was his attempt at hiding the equally crushing sadness he felt over leaving us. Gently tugging Tina along, I followed him to the stairs – a route we had never taken before – and realised we were heading to the hovercraft station. The walls were dark and grey and reminded me that we would have no idea where we were being taken – until we popped up inside it. When we reached the dock Haymitch turned round and I finally saw tears in his eyes.

"This is it guys." He said, desperately trying to salvage what was left of his dignity. I let go of Tina for a brief second to step forward and give him a big hug. The feeling of his strong hands patting my back reminded me for a second of my father. Haymitch had become my father, but now I would be the one to die,

"Thanks for everything." I muttered in his ear as we embraced.

"Stay alive." He muttered back. "Then the only person you'll have to thank is yourself." When we finally stepped away I expected Tina not to do anything, but without warning she suddenly threw her arms around Haymitch too. The middle aged man looked shocked, and took a few seconds to respond, before lightly taking hold of her shoulders and patting them. Nothing was said between the pair, but they ended their feud.

"See you later guys!" Haymitch exclaimed as he was about to leave. We laughed, knowing this wasn't true. Even if one of us survived, we would never be together like this again.

"Don't forget those sponsors!" As the doors closed leaving Haymitch behind us, the heavy weight of what was about to hit us sunk onto my chest.

Then another weight pressed on me too.

"Sam!" Somehow I'd thought Tina had been alright when she'd reconciled with Haymitch – that she had finally accepted her fate and was ready. Abruptly and violently, I realised she had not.

"Sam I can't do this!" Looking down I saw her whole body shaking – Tina's face was white and the fear in her eyes had multiplied.

"Sssh!" I whispered, mainly to try and calm her but also because there were probably other tributes nearby, waiting to be taken. "Tina sssh! You can do this!"

"No I can't! They want me to kill people and I just can't!"

"Yes you can!" Gripping onto my friend's shoulders I tried desperately to speak those words that would finally bring her back from the edge. "You can and you will because everybody has the will to survive! You need to get through this!"

"Tell Mike…" Tina began. "Tell Mike…"

"No! I will not tell him anything! It's not just you in that arena – you have me too and whoever we manage to team up with. We'll work together, we'll keep each other alive!" I had no idea if any of these things would actually happen – if anyone would actually want to be allies with someone as dangerous as me. But I wanted Tina to stay. "Please Tina, you have to stay. Not just for Mike, or your family, but for me too. I need you." It was finally the words she needed. Steadying her body Tina still clung to me, but her breathing slowed down and her fingers relaxed. Then she brought her lips to mine and kissed them.

"Thank you." She said suddenly. I was still a little shocked by the kiss. "Thank you. For everything." I was about to reply when suddenly the doors opened. Two separate hovercrafts floated above us and their ladders descended to us. As I gave one final look to Tina my hands grabbed the rope and my whole body was frozen. The ladders began to move and we were brought up into the craft – the doors closing and everything going dim. The next time I would see my friend, would be in the arena.

I wasn't sure how long we flew for and what speed we were going (for all I knew we could have been standing still) but eventually the doors opened again and the ladder took me back downwards. I was lowered into a small dark room and to my delight saw Cinna there waiting for me.

"Cinna!" I tried to say, before remembering that my lips were still frozen. I said it again once I was let free, giving him a hug. I seemed to be in a hugging mood today – maybe I viewed these people as my new family and wanted to show them I cared. Without even mentioning what was to come Cinna got me changed into my uniform. It was khaki, like my trousers had been, and red, with splashes of black here and there, and made of a strange stretchy material. Cinna seemed to suggest it would be good in the cold for me, but not the rain. I wondered if I was being given tight fitting clothing again but he assured me that everyone would be wearing the same. When I was finally suited up, the zips zipped and my big black boots buckled up, he handed me a pin.

"This is for you." He said. The pin was golden and shaped like a circle, with a small bird inside it. I recognised it instantly.

"Mother's mockingjay pin!" I exclaimed. "How did you…?"

"I have my ways." Cinna replied with a smile. Pinning it on my lapel he looked at me, somewhat wistfully. "I do hope they don't destroy you too much in there." He said after a while.

"That's assuming I last long enough for them to destroy me." I replied.

"Oh you will last." The words that followed confused me. "You will."

"How do you know?" I asked, unable to process it myself.

"I have my ways." Suddenly the glass tube began to descend around me. Fear instantly took hold of me – the thought of being trapped inside frightened me and the realisation of what it would take me to terrified me more.

"Cinna!" I said, my voice filled with nerves. My stylist, whom I had barely known more than a couple of days, but already felt like my closest friend, leapt to my side.

"Yes?"

"I'm scared." I replied, finally realising it for the first time. "I'm really scared."

"I know." Cinna said back. There was a cool calm edge to his voice that suggested I was dreaming, that this wasn't actually real. "I know you are. And that is why you will win." The glass descended over me fully, locking me in completely, then the tube began to rise and I was transported to the arena above me.

The arena was huge. For some reason I had expected the roar of crowds, but there was no sound here. Everyone was still encased in their tubes, and no-one was saying anything anyway. As I ascended I could see all the tributes were positioned in a circle around the cornucopia. It was shaped like a horn and encrusted with golden plates on the outside. Inside lay stacks and stacks of provisions – food, tools, weapons. Haymitch had told me to grab anything I could that was nearby after the claxon and then run as fast as I could to safety. I was not to engage in any combat, nor go anywhere near the cornucopia. That was where the bloodbath was to occur, and I would not be a part of it. Around the outside of us I could see a thick forest of trees, something that made me glad I had spent so much time in the plant section. It would have been pretty useless in a desert. Now that we were almost fully risen I saw the other tributes readying themselves – taking deep breaths and shaking out their limbs. I tried to source out Blaine or any of the other Careers but they had obviously been positioned too far away for me to see. Three tubes away stood Tina – she looked ok but obviously hadn't noticed me.

Finally the tubes stopped rising. We would be given ten seconds to have a look around and then twenty seconds for the glass to be lifted up before the claxon. I waited for the countdown to begin, the thirty seconds that could signal the potential end of my life – the thirty seconds that would be mandatorily watched by every citizen of Panem – glued to their TV screens. It began.

"Thirty…" Immediately I went over my plan again in my head. I knew I had to get everything right, that there was no room for mistakes. My feet hovered near the edge of the circle, toes scratching against the rough surface. I wanted to get myself into a better starting position but was too scared of disturbing the force field. If any tribute stepped outside their circle before the thirty seconds were up they would instantly be blown to bits.

"Twenty-Five…" The glass tubes were rising now – to where I didn't know, but mine was almost at my waist. I looked across to see the District 8 girl next to me, her breathing heavy and her eyes dark. I was going to go over my plan in my head one final time, repeat every detail, when I noticed it.

Tina had found me. As soon as the tubes had started to rise her head had begun turning and when she located me she suddenly started shaking it. At first I thought she was just trying to get my attention but when I squinted my eyes and saw the look on her face I realised in horror what she meant.

"NO!" The shout made a couple of the tributes jump. My voice was still slightly muffled by the glass but I'd used my loudest volume. "TINA NO!" Tina continued to shake her head. My hands suddenly found myself pounding on the glass, it was coming over my neck now, would soon rise over my head. I knew what was going to happen when it did and I wanted to scream.

"DON'T DO THIS! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS TINA YOU CAN STAY STRONG! STAY WITH ME TINA!" Tina's head shaking became more fierce, she was crying and I could see her eyes still locked onto mine.

"TINA PLEASE! TINA NO!" A couple of the other tributes had started to ignore me – figuring this must be some attempt at a distraction – that Tina and I must have some kind of plan. There was no plan.

"Ten…" The voice from above counted down the final ten seconds – the tubes raised over our heads so we were free and I continued to scream until my lungs burned.

"TINA! TINA NO!"

"Five…four…three…"

On three Tina stepped out into the arena.