Title: Toys ''R' Us: Chapter Eleven.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Whatever shall Buffy and Faith do after being trapped inside a local Toys 'R' Us by a pair of mischievous wizards under Willow's watch?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything here, save for the storyline. All characters and the like are trademark properties of Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy and it's affiliates. Barbie and Skipper are copyrighted to Matel. Toys 'R' Us is copyrighted to their fucking bizarre giraffe and whoever else. Please don't sue. Anything else mentioned, be them persons or objects, are copyrighted to their owners just the same and blah, blah, blah. No money is made from this, so don't sue. I'm just a poor girl. Really, I am.
- - -
"Me?" Faith was astounded, "I have issues?" She snorted, "Chea, comin' from you, tha's a kick in the head." Dropping the now decapitated soldier from her grip, Faith ran the palm of her hand down her shirt. "Wonder how long it takes for toy blood t'get outta laundry." She mused.
"I don't have issues." Buffy disputed, looking offended that she could be considered someone with any issues.
Sure, her first love tried to kill her.
Sure she died a few times.
Sure the last time she died her bestie brought her back.
Sure her sister's some kind of key.
Sure... crap.
She did have issues!
With Buffy clearly lost in thought while the ringing insisted, Faith snapped loudly.
"B!" The brunette stalked over to poke the blonde in the middle of her forehead.
"Huh? What?" Dazed and confused, Buffy turned to look at Faith, who in turn was pointing to the other Slayer's pocket.
"Ya hear that ringin?" Faith brought to attention.
Silence filled the void of nothingness. That is until...
RING!
"I think I..." The owner of the ring whispered.
RING!
"Omigod!" Buffy grinned, "My cell!" She remembered.
"NOW she remembers she has a cell." As Buffy reached for the device, Faith let Slayer reflexes take control and snatched the phone out of the petite girl's hand once it was freed.
Ignoring the protest from the ditzy blonde, Faith listened to the sound of Xander on the other line.
"Buffster, it's me, Xander. Look, I know you're with Faith and doing the whole bon----" If she allowed Xander to go on, she'd be listening to him for another fifteen minutes.
"Shut-up and listen, Xan." Faith instructed harshly, "B and I were out helpin' Red with two brats. Two brats tha' decided it be fuckin' hilarious..." She just about spat, "to lock us in a toy store. Only problem is, we fell into a pile of plushies and got sucked into some kinda other dimension." Laughter errupted from the other end. "I'm fuckin' serious and you'll be in for a world of bandages and ice if ya don't get some help."
Coughing to clear his throat, Xander nodded at the brunette, realizing a moment later she couldn't see him. "Right. So, toy store. You have an exact location or do I just configure the system and put a trace on the cell?" He loved saying that and in all actuality, he could do that. He had the help of a computer whiz in the programming department but the building of the casing was all Zeppo strength and skill.
"I want you to trace us! Not the cell!" Faith exploded before she thought.
Sniggering at the taller Slayer, Buffy knew that Faith sometimes was more than a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
"Oh fuck, yeah." Even more aggitated at the situation now, Faith went on, "Trace the cell and find us. Cos god only knows how many toy stores there are." Before the two hung up, the younger Slayer added, "And make it quick. We ain't exactly in Munchkinland."
Closing the cell and putting it in her pocket, Faith glared down at Buffy, "You had a phone and din't think about callin' anyone?!" This really was the moment of the century.
"Zip it, Faith." Buffy grumbled, sinking onto the ground with her arms folded over her chest.
"Guess we just sit and wait it out." Faith aired.
A pause.
"Rock, paper, scissors?" The brunette beamed, holding her hand out for Buffy to play with.
A/N: Semi-short chapter. But, I figured it was time outside sources knew of their dilemma. Xander and Andrew to the rescue! Read and review, PLEASE:)