A/N: not mine as always

Chapter eleven

It was a few days after James' funeral and Natalie has kept herself locked up in her room, she didn't want to be around people for a while. Lorne and Emilia came but usually only to bring her food so that she didn't starve and to talk for a bit but once they realized she wasn't responding much they'd leave and go and do who knows what.

Now that Natalie was back on Atlantis she decided that she should look through her video logs, see what her family might have sent her while she was out of commission. Opening her lap top Natalie opened the video log that was close to the date when she was captured by the Abaroian people.

"Hey Nat, it's your sister wondering what's up. We all miss you, hope to see you soon." Natalie's sister, Michi – Michelle, said to her with a smile. "I miss having you here, miss our girls night and drinking nights. I wanna kick your ass at sequence again. Well I guess reply back soon. Me and the girls and mom all miss you. Love you. Bye."

For the next hour or so Natalie watched her video's that her sister sent her and they all followed along the same line as the first, but the more she watched the more worried her families voices got and the more frantic they were and asking her to send them a video so that they knew that she was all right.

Rubbing her face in frustration Natalie turned the camera she had in her room on and started to record a video to sent to Earth, "Hey Michelle, Mom, Asia, Rora. I know I should have sent you a video earlier but I was indispose at the time and there was no modern technology to be able to send you anything to let you know I was alright. I had to help people and as you can see I'm a bit injured." Natalie said as she lifted her broken arm up with a half hearted smile. "I lost a friend on that mission, so I haven't been in the best moods to do anything but I'm trying to heal so here I am sending you all a message."

"I'm doing okay," Natalie said after pausing for a moment. "I'm healing from my injuries and I will be back to new soon enough. Rora, Asia I hope you're giving your parents trouble for me since I'm not their to help annoy her. Ma I'm sorry I haven't been home in years, I'm coming back this year, I promise. And Michi, I know you're my older sister but don't worry about me, you and mom both worry about me too much. Love you guys, I'll be in contact." she said as she stopped recording and turned the video camera off.

Once Natalie was sure that the video she made for her family was sent she decided to be brave and go and venture out of her room and go and eat in the mess hall for once instead of wait for Emilia and Lorne to come and bring her something. She had to get over James' death and being stuck in her room for the rest of her healing process was not going to do that, if anything it was going to slow it down.

"Vance! Hey Vance, wait up!" someone behind Natalie said.

Turning around Natalie saw that the person yelling for her was Rodney McKay, she really didn't want to talk to him right now especially after the comment he made about her getting her friends killed back on that planet.

"Hey McKay," Natalie said not even faking nice, she was going to show him how angry she was at him for what he said.

Seeing the expression on her face Rodney slowed down and carefully approached her, "Hey can I talk to you?" he asked her with a small smile.

Sighing Natalie nodded, "I guess. Come on, lets walk and talk. I'm hungry." she said as she continued on her way to the mess hall.

"I'm sorry," McKay blurted out to her.

"You should be," Natalie said not even turning to look at him as she got on a transporter to take her down to the level the mess hall was at.

McKay sighed in frustration, he knew from the beginning that this wasn't going to be easy but Natalie is almost more stubborn then Ronon. "I shouldn't have said that comment about James, I didn't think. Ask anyone I don't think before I talk usually. I'm an ass a lot." he said with a forced laugh but he didn't get a reaction out of Natalie. "I know James meant a lot to you and still does, he was family to you and I was-"

He was cut off by Natalie, "You were an insensitive jerk." she finished for him as they got out of the transporter.

"Yes," McKay said with a put out expression. "I was that, and I am sorry for that and for what I said about James. I never should have said or even thought something like that."

Natalie stopped in the middle of the hallway and flat out stared at McKay, not sure what was going on with him. "Who are you and what have you done with McKay. You are acting strangely out of character." she said stepping away from him and looking at him with a raised brow.

He huffed at that, "I do know when I am in the wrong once in a while." he said to her as they entered the mess hall.

"Okay," Natalie said as the two of them headed towards the food table.

Natalie was having a few issues putting food on her tray and holding it at the same time and Rodney seeing her issue sighed heavily and decided to take pity on her and grabbed her tray and held it for her while she put food on it.

"Thanks," Natalie said as she took her tray from him. "Guess I'll see ya around."

"Yeah, bye." he said as he went to go and sit over by Zelenka and Natalie went to go and sit by Emilia and Lorne.

When Emilia and Lorne saw Natalie they couldn't help but grin, they were glad that their friend and teammate was finally getting out of her room and starting to join the everyday activities of Atlantis.

"Nat, I see you've joined the land of the living finally." Lorne said with a smile as Natalie sat down at the table with them.

Natalie rolled her eyes and started to eat her pudding cup first, "Well as much as I like being alone sometimes I was starting to feel a but isolated so I decided to grace you all with my presence."

When Emilia heard that she snorted in amusement, "So humble aren't you?" she asked her sarcastically.

"Can't help it some days." Natalie told her as she looked down at her tray of food. "You know I know this stuff is pretty good but I would kill for a slice of pizza or some taco Bell right now. I want my spicy food." she said with a small whine.

Emilia looked at her unsympathetically, "Go back to earth for a visit." she said to her with a shrug.

"I am," Natalie said shocking the two into silence.

Lorne looked at her, "You're going back to Earth? You said you'd only go back if you had absolutely had to."

Natalie nodded at that, "And I do. My sister is getting married." she explained simply. "And seeing as I'm in the wedding I have to go back to Earth and do all of the sisterly things."

While the three were talking during lunch and catching up, none of them noticed a tall hulking figure sitting in the opposite corner watching them. Ronon couldn't help but watch Natalie, he's seen her around Atlantis before and ran into her in the weapons bay a few times but they've never had a conversation before. He always thought she was just some girl that was helping around the place or that she was a scientist, but now he knew that she wasn't just some random girl. Natalie was strong, fierce and a fighter. And Ronon couldn't help but want to know more about her.