My beta is SueBee0619. My pre-reader is Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy. They're an amazing and supportive team & I'm so glad to have had them on this journey. Now, without further ado:
Chapter 11
"Bella!" Edward hissed, rushing into the barn, cradling his right hand. "Bella!"
She emerged from the stall wrinkled and covered in hay. "Are you hurt?"
"Quick, while he is laid low. Get to your chamber. I will take care of the rest. I will not allow him to disabuse your name."
"Your hand, my lord!" Isabella took it gently in hers, and she scouted the barn for the lost medicine satchel. Indeed, Edward's hand appeared unnaturally large, his fingers strangely colored.
"There is no time for medicine, Bella. There is no telling when he'll wake." Edward led her to the doorway.
"Oh my!" the girl exclaimed, finding Carlisle Cullen in a heap at the entrance to the barn.
"To your chamber, maiden. Please. I'll come find you on the morrow."
"I should tend to him if he is hurt."
Edward grasped the young woman by the shoulders, he pled with his eyes. "He cannot wake and find you here. This is between myself and my father. We have much to discuss and I cannot have you caught in our crosshairs. Go to sleep. Say you'll dream of me?"
"As if I might slumber, my lord."
"Call me by my name?"
"Good night, Edward." Isabella touched the tip of her fingers to the boy's lips.
Carlisle Cullen stirred at their feet.
"Run!" Edward hissed, and the girl dashed toward her cottage, leaving father and son alone and infirm in the moonlight.
Moments later she fell onto her sleeping pallet, fibers and feathers from the ticking scratching at her skin like the hay had just moments earlier. Like the heat had. She ached, a wide open feeling like the rush of the wind in a summer storm. She knew there was no going back to former times. Another night and she would not keep her hands to herself. No matter Edward's vows to her father, no matter his destiny, another night and his mouth would attempt indecent things. They had confessed as much.
"I would like to press my lips against yours," she'd admitted, sated and naked on the floor of the barn.
"I would like to circle my arms around your waist," the boy murmured.
"I would like to feel your body against mine." She pressed herself against the ground beneath her, which was as hard as she imagined him to be, but cold and unyielding in comparison.
"I would like to feel your flesh beneath my fingertips." Edward drew designs in the hay as his eyes scanned the length of the young woman. His loins stirred.
"I would like to feel your manhood," she admitted, her fingers stretching in his direction.
"I would like to take your breast between my lips and suckle like a babe."
"You would?"
The boy's face went redder than the beets they had laid up in the cellar. Isabella's insides quaked. "I would like for you to try such a thing," she admitted. Her nipples tingled and she rolled onto her back and gazed at the stars through the uneven slats of the barn roof.
"How do they feel?" he asked as he gazed at her chest.
Her hands fluttered and felt. "Soft yet firm at once. Quite bouncy near the tip." She pressed fingers against her hardening nipples.
"They change."
"Like little pebbles," Isabella explained, pinching, then pressing her thighs together. "How does it feel between your legs?" she asked, stealing a glance.
"Like the ache and the burn in my palms were dually transformed into something bigger, something so intensely good I cannot explain."
Isabella giggled. "Something bigger."
"I would like you to feel it," the boy admitted.
Another night under the same roof and Lord Cullen's supposition might certainly come true. How many nights before she had a babe in her belly? How many nights before villagers whispered under their breath when she walked through the town?
No, tonight was the last and it was a blessing. She would remember this evening for the rest of her time on this earth.
xXxXx
After a night spent sleepless with a dying mare and another spent awake and undone with an unclothed maiden, Edward fell into a deep sleep in the corner of Rosalie's stall - after laying his father low outside the Swan's barn, after sending Isabella back to her home, and after helping Carlisle Cullen to his feet and telling him his heart's desires. His slumber was the deep, restorative slumber of those who have made decisions long pushed aside, who have accepted the certainties which were only moments ago unacceptable. He did not dream, for there was nothing that might be better than what had occurred in his mare's empty stall.
When he woke, Isabella was the first thing on his mind. He closed his eyes as his hand closed over himself. She would like to touch him. He would like to taste her. He was in love.
The boy sprang to his feet and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before righting his clothing as best he was able. Yet he was crumpled and covered in straw. Casting his eyes about, he spotted Isabella's medicine satchel. His own traveling bag was back in the infirmary with his father. He was loathe to confront the elder Lord Cullen in the light of day, yet he knew he must look his best before seeking out Master Swan.
Edward squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and headed for the Swan's cottage. He hurried down the path from the barn and through the kitchen garden. Small swallows chirped from bare tree branches and lonely snowflakes fluttered as they fell lazily from the gray sky above, a harbinger of the cold winter to come. The lad wrapped his arms around himself, eager for the warmth of the Swan's hearth and Isabella's eyes, yet the cottage door presented an unanticipated obstacle. As a guest he should knock before entering, yet he was here in order to make himself presentable before seeking out the Swan's company.
Edward hopped from foot to foot as he pondered his course of action. As much as he wished to sneak inside the Swan's home, he knew he needed to leave his underhanded actions in the past. What he had to accomplish this morning was on his own terms, and given the tenor of his last conversation with Master Swan, he had much to prove. Just as the young man raised his fist to knock, the door swung open and he was greeted with Isabella's glowing face and slender frame.
"Sir!"
"Maiden!"
Isabella's hair was swept high and her light brown bodice pulled tight, but Edward saw her as she'd been last night in the barn. He felt a stirring in his groin and had to hold himself back from pulling her close and pressing his lips to hers.
Isabella glanced over her shoulder before closing the door behind her.
"Are you hurt?" she asked him, taking his doubly injured hand in hers. "Perhaps you are the one in need of a splint this morning."
"I am fine. I am better than fine." Edward clasped her hand to his chest and Isabella startled, glancing over her shoulder once more.
"As am I, Edward. I am to follow my dreams."
"That is what I informed my father last night!" the boy exclaimed, overcome. Their minds were as one and he saw this as evidence that their union was heavenly ordained.
A crease appeared between Isabella's eyes. "You spoke with him about my dreams?"
Edward shook his head. "No, I told him I will not be a priest. I cannot."
Isabella covered her lips with her hand. "You will not?"
"I will not," he replied breathlessly.
"And your father heard your plea?"
"He heard me, maiden. He set me free. I am not to return to Center City." Edward took a breath. He stood tall. "I am no longer his son."
"What, my lord?" Isabella gasped, steadying herself against the cottage wall.
"I am no lord, Isabella. I am Edward. I am yours."
"Edward, what will you do?"
"I have come to ask your father for your hand. You know my dreams. I believe you are my destiny."
"But I am a woman."
"Indeed, I know it better than any other man on this earth. You are a woman I hunger for with my body and soul. My purpose on this journey was to find you, of this I am certain."
"But Edward, I am a human searching out her own destiny. This purpose I dream of has just recently emerged, and you helped me to see what it might be. I am to study the stars like my mother. I am still learning about myself, my mind and my body. I am too young for you to love as a fixed star, for I am still ever changing like the bloom on a rose."
"But surely -"
"Surely, sir, you have a destiny to seek, but be it a purpose and not a woman and then you will no doubt be doubly satisfied."
"How can I be satisfied if I do not have you?"
"You cannot have me. You can only know me." The girl's cheeks colored. "We know one another quite well and I am so grateful for the discovery. But I am not ready to spread my thighs and lay my dreams to rest when I have only just discovered what they might be."
"You do not dream of me?" the boy asked.
"Another night with you on this homestead and it would be more than a dream. My body comes to life when you are near. You know my desires."
"Which is why I'd assumed -"
"'Twas you who spoke to me of my intelligence," the girl continued. "'Twas you who encouraged me to study the mathematics of the stars. Now that you've fixated on my bed, have you forgotten my mind?"
Edward gazed into the girl's big, brown eyes and saw himself reflected back. "We made a life together last night, Bella."
The girl smiled hearing her pet name on Edward's lips, but wiped an errant tear from her eye. "You must know my father would not grant you my hand this morning. What would you offer besides your manhood? When I asked what you would be when we imagined our wedded world you said - "
"I would not be a priest."
"And now you shan't. But what will you be, Edward? I cannot make my life with someone who is not a priest, someone to whom I am their only purpose."
Edward turned his back to the maiden. He looked about at the rolling fields, at the dirt lane leading up to the ridge and the tall pines beyond. "I thought I had finally found something, but this is not my home, is it?"
"I will pray you find your destiny."
"I will pray you find yours as well, and when it is found it involves taking my hand, my heart, my name, and my bed."
Isabella's heart fluttered in her chest. She grasped the boy's fingers and he clung to her. "What will your name be, Edward, if you are not to be called Cullen?"
"I shall be Edward Masen, after my mother. He cannot take her from me. I was born from her, not from him."
"Edward Masen, would you write to me to tell me what you find on your journey?" she asked.
"Only if you pledge to reply and tell me what you discover in the skies."
"I certainly will, sir."
Edward pulled Isabella by the hand until she was facing him, until her body was flush with his. Finally she felt the length of him against her. She bit her lip and held her breath.
"Allow me one liberty before I depart, maiden."
Isabella's heart fought the bounds of her bodice and a restless heat rose to her cheeks. She lowered her head, but Edward caught her chin and lifted her face to meet his. He clutched her tenderly but purposefully and she felt the barest hint of the strength lying hidden in his limbs. His lips were dry as they brushed hers, a kiss at once lingering, yet exasperating in its brevity.
"We will meet again, Isabella," Edward murmured, his warm breath bathing her lips and bringing goose bumps to life on her flesh.
"I feel in my soul that we will."
Edward's lips turned up in smile. "You admit to souls after all!"
Isabella did in fact admit to something more than body and mind after these past five nights with Edward. For the way her mind and Edward's met and mingled brought to life an intense yearning that was more than she had accounted for in her previous sixteen years. Yet she did not intend to share this information with Edward just yet. She felt she would be giving too much of herself in the admission. "For your sake, I do hope your dear horse had a soul and she is looking over your well-being for the rest of your journey. But do not push me on their existence, Edward. I am too headstrong to be easily swayed by the opinion of a passing lad."
"Tell me that is not all I am to you," Edward pled.
Isabella could not lie, yet neither could she give voice to the words in her heart. Speak them and she might never leave Bryn Athyn. She shook her head, yet it was not enough. He was not just a passing lad, he had meant so much more. For emphasis, Isabella went up on tiptoe and threaded her hands through Edward's rumpled hair, bringing his face to hers. She held back her words but not her lips, and although snow fell about them, it was as if she were struck by lightning in a summertime storm. Light and heat seared through her middle, from her heart to her groin. While they gripped and pressed and held onto one another tight, their minds took flight to the barn and the bed of their dreams.
The cottage door creaked and the two young people sprung apart, their chests rising and falling as if they'd run another of their races.
"Here you are, Daughter."
"Father," Isabella panted. "I am."
Master Swan looked from maiden to lad, from his discolored hand to the color in both of their cheeks.
"And Lord Cullen tells me you are to continue your journey, Edward."
Edward looked at his toes. "Yes, sir."
"And I am not to call you 'lord'."
"No, sir."
Charles Swan did not know what transpired while he slept, but Lord Cullen seemed gleefully eager to sponsor Isabella at the cloister when petitioned this morning. The lord's self-satisfied smile was disquieting on his bruised and misshapen face as he boasted that the young man sleeping in the barn should no longer be called Cullen.
"I am not paying you for his board any longer, Charles. You might banish him for trespass on your most precious of properties."
"Do you know where you will travel from here?" Master Swan asked the lad.
Edward's head swam. In his mind, his travels had taken him from a barn to a bed. "I haven't a clue," he admitted.
"Did Isabella tell you she's to study at the cloister?"
Edward's heart ached. "Yes, sir."
"She tells me I am to give you credit, for you sparked something within which helped bring together heart and mind. She will follow in her mother's footsteps and make a name for herself."
Edward looked up from his feet and into Isabella's eyes. "She is brilliant. It was none of my work."
"Let us not quarrel with credit, nor cast our eyes about in blame. I sent my daughter to find you so we might together break our fast before we go our separate ways."
"I would rather not share the table with Lord Cullen, Master Swan."
"Nor would I, Edward. He is to take his meal in his room."
"You would have me banish your own seed?"
"I see none of myself in him. Pity his mother is dead, so if there was truth to uncover it's gone to her grave."
"Daughter, would you make haste and prepare the table?"
Isabella looked from Edward to her father. "Yes, of course." With another lingering glance, she left the two men in the fluttering snow.
"You have a good steed in Leah," Charles began, offering Edward a seat on the garden bench.
"She is not mine, Master Swan. She was purchased by my father."
"And I would buy her back before I allowed him to take the horse from you. Edward, I have profited enough these past few days to loan you gold for your travels."
Edward blanched and shook his head, recalling Lord Cullen's words from the night before about the true purpose of the payment. "It is yours, Master Swan. Please understand how grateful I am for your care and the home you opened to two traveling strangers. Without this sojourn, I might have stumbled into a life I was not destined to live. I hope I am lucky enough to find others like you in the world."
"And the world is lucky to have you traveling through it, my lad. It is in need of upstanding men with open minds, willing to put in a hard day's labor. I may have judged you too harshly yesterday. You are clearly not to be compared with the man in my infirmary. Take your father's gold on loan, for I know it will bring you back to my home. I would like to know the man you make of yourself after this.
"Now let us go enjoy a meal. I can talk of my own travels, of lands you might yet visit; of places where you might find your purpose."
"Thank you, sir."
"And one more thing, Edward. If she were not so intelligent, I might keep her here, but you should not keep a brilliant woman. You must let her shine. If you are persistent and if you are lucky, one day she might shine on you."
~fin~
A/N: Thanks to all who faithfully read and reviewed as I took this little midieval Twific detour. Thanks to the folks over at The Lemonade Stand for your recs, to Nic for helping re-launch my imaginary fanfic career, and of course to RoseArcadia for your beautiful artwork.
Could there be a sequel to this some day? Maybe. It's already happening in my mind. But I need to move out of the world of 'twas and shan't and into more modern times.
So, on December 20th I'll be publishing the first chapter of It Never Goes Out, a sequel of sorts to There is a Light. It's the expanded version of the out-take/future-take I wrote for the Babies at the Border compilation. If you're interested please put me on Author Alert & it'll show up in your inbox soon.
Until then ~ XOXO ~ BDC