Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, you would never see Sasuke or Naruto because they would be busy doing unspeakable acts. Like they did last chapter.
Taking advantage of the fact that FFnet seems to actually be working and I'm updating a tad early. I'm not sure if everyone got last chapter's alert; if the above disclaimer makes no sense to you, you need to read the last chapter.
Chapter 11
Naruto took a deep breath, inhaling Sasuke's scent.
The paler boy was still asleep, and Naruto took this chance to study him.
The sheets were pulled up to his shoulders, blocking his body from view, but his right arm was loosely curled in front of him. Naruto ran a finger down Sasuke's thin arm and shivered. No one else got to see Sasuke like this; no one else got to see him smile or hear him laugh or... or touch him. No one but Naruto got to see Sasuke completely vulnerable. Everyone else just got a mask of indifference.
Naruto smiled into Sasuke's hair and affectionately traced circles into the other boy's wrist, hesitating at the unusually rough skin there.
No... That wasn't rough skin.
Naruto frowned and shifted, lifting Sasuke's arm to take a good look at it.
Scars.
They were scars. And they were oddly hypnotizing; some angry and red, other criss-crossing. Some were deep and others shallow. They ran all up and down his arm, marring what should have been flawless skin.
And Naruto knew that there were too many, too many of varying age, for all this to have come from some sort of accident.
Sasuke opened his tired eyes, finally noticing the contact. He looked up at Naruto.
"Sasuke..." Naruto couldn't tear his eyes away from the marks. Some seemed to be fairly recent, while others seemed to be fading, just a white line on pale skin. "What are these?" He already knew the answer.
Sasuke pressed his lips together and Naruto could feel the emotional barrier between them. Sasuke made to leave the bed.
Naruto squeezed his wrist, not confining, but requesting.
"Sasuke, please talk to me."
"It doesn't concern you." The tone was flat, refusing to let Naruto in.
"Yes it does, Sasuke. I care about you. I don't want you to hurt yourself..."
Sasuke's eyes flickered.
"Can you at least tell me why?"
The idea of telling Naruto was so bitterly amusing that it hurt and Sasuke's free hand clenched tightly into a fist.
"Is it... Warujie?"
Sasuke took in a breath, and met Naruto's eyes.
"What does he do to you? Does he hit you?" Naruto's eyes narrowed.
Sasuke snorted, and shook his head.
If only what Orochimaru did was as simple as abuse.
"Please, tell me what's wrong." Naruto was pleading with him now.
If only it was as simple as that. Sasuke looked away. Sometimes I'm not even sure what...
"Sasuke... If... You won't tell me what's wrong..." Naruto's voice gained confidence, finally voicing what he had been wanting to, "Sasuke, I know that you hate Warujie and... I don't want you doing this to yourself, so why not... move in with me?"
Sasuke breathed in sharply, not believing what he heard.
"We can sneak into your house and get what you need, and Warujie doesn't know where I live, so you'll be safe from him here. And... we can both register at new schools for next year. You'll be eighteen next month, so it'll be easy." Naruto was rambling, trying to convince Sasuke.
"I don't need anything from my house." He said softly.
It took a moment for it to sink in.
Naruto smiled, "Good."
Maybe things really will turn out okay...
"Took you long enough to get out of the shower." Naruto teased, lips brushing his ear. Sasuke nearly shivered.
"It's your fault. And don't expect me to move from this spot. That's your fault too."
Sasuke nearly heard Naruto smirk. "You weren't complaining last night."
"I'm complaining now. That's what matters."
"You're so mean, Sasuke!"
"You weren't complaining last night."
Naruto frowned. "You bit me, you know."
"You leave marks." Sasuke retorted with a snort.
Naruto shifted one hand and lifted the collar of Sasuke's shirt to get a better look at his collarbone. "I certainly do. But now everyone knows you're taken."
"Do you really think that will stop the fangirls?" The other boy half-complained.
Naruto sighed. "Probably not. What if I ravish you in front of them?"
"I would castrate you." He growled lowly.
Naruto squeaked. "But if you did that how would you have any fun?"
"Well Shikamaru is kind of cute..."
"Sasukeeeeeee!"
"Okay, jeez. Don't do that in my ear."
"What about this?" He blew in Sasuke's ear, causing a flinch.
"Not that either."
"Mou, Sasuke, you're no fun." He tightened his hold on Sasuke and nuzzled his neck. "Except for last night..." He added in a sing-song voice.
Sasuke sighed and said in monotone, "I get it. You had fun. Can you get me some food now?"
"Ne, Sasuke-kun. Can't you get it yourself?"
"No."
Naruto pouted, but quickly left his lover alone and opened the fridge. "I've got soda... cold ramen, roast beef, nigiri, milk—"
"Is the milk expired?"
"...Yes."
Sasuke sighed. "I'll take the nigiri."
Naruto picked up the container of nigiri and placed it in front of Sasuke. The raven reached out for the food, but stopped short as Naruto took his wrist. He looked away, at his other hand, where he couldn't see scars.
"You won't hurt yourself again, right Sasuke?" Sasuke winced at the weakness in that voice, hating the way it made him hurt.
"I won't."
He felt a kiss pressed against his wrist. Sasuke looked up. Naruto's eyes were full of concern.
"I love you, Sasuke. You can tell me about anything."
"I love you too, but I can't..."
"It's okay. But I'm here for you." Naruto gave a watery smile and Sasuke looked away for a moment.
"I know..."
Naruto released his wrist and kissed Sasuke chastely. He pressed their foreheads together. After a moment, he pressed a kiss to the crown of Sasuke's head and pulled away.
"What are you waiting for? Eat!"
Sasuke offered a tiny smirk and Naruto took a seat, watching the smaller boy eat. He tried to ignore the scars.
Naruto called in sick to work that day to help Sasuke settle in. The raven was quick to monopolize two of his boyfriend's dresser draws and steal a few shirts to make up for his lack of wardrobe.
"Bastard. You're stealing all my stuff." Naruto grumbled as he went about reorganizing (well, really it was just 'organizing', because it wasn't before) his remaining drawers.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and drawled, "Don't you know Naruto? That's what love is. Having your things stolen by other people."
Naruto growled, "Oh yeah? What have I stolen of yours?"
Sasuke rose a brow and fought down a blush. "Virginity."
To his surprise, Naruto had the decency to look embarrassed. The blond paused in his folding of boxers and turned to Sasuke and said, "So... that was your first time?"
Sasuke shifted uncomfortably and was sure he couldn't keep his blush down much longer. "Yeah." Finally a bit of pink showed on his cheeks, "What... about you?"
Naruto nodded, "All I've done before you was just a few kisses, mostly on dares. Nothing ever serious. Although Sakura-chan sure does hit hard..." For a moment he looked thoughtful, then he folded his arms, "So you've stolen more things from me than I have from you."
Sasuke only rolled his eyes and made a disbelieving sound. He hesitated, then said, "Naruto... I should get a job too. I don't want you to have to do all the work by yourself."
"No way! We've gotta be careful. I don't want to risk Warujie finding you. I'll manage, Sasuke. Besides," Naruto sighed, "I'm making you look into what schools we should register for."
Sasuke winced. He knew that Naruto didn't want to leave his friends and that he was only doing this to protect Sasuke. He closed the distance between them and pulled Naruto down for a kiss.
Thank you.
Naruto smiled at Sasuke before returning to folding clothes—or trying to anyway.
They made it work. Over the course of the week, a rough routine was established. They would wake up, shower (if Naruto got his way, together), eat, banter, and Naruto would leave for work while Sasuke stayed home and did nothing.
Or that's what Naruto thought.
Sasuke was acutely aware that Naruto only wanted to protect him, but he didn't want to leave one prison for another. And there was only so much one could do at Naruto's home. He was careful, though, to stay away from any place near the train station, to keep his senses sharp and watch for Kabuto or Orochimaru. Although he doubted the medic would try to catch him in the open, he expected him to contact Orochimaru immediately, which would be something he really didn't want.
He wondered how Orochimaru was reacting to this; his favorite 'pet' gone... Did he think Sasuke ran away? Or that he had been attacked by muggers? It was an interesting thought, but not one the raven entertained very often.
It was on Friday, after Naruto left for work, that Sasuke left on one of his escapades. He felt bad for doing this, he really did, because Naruto worried over him so much, but he had always yearned to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, and he wasn't going to pass up this chance.
He wandered to a part of the city he hadn't been to before, mentally mapping it all out, alert, but mind still wandering as he walked into a few random stores—for a change of scenery—and walked back out.
It wasn't until there was a shriek of "Sasuke-kun!" and a pair of thin, feminine arms around him that he realized he had wandered right into the Yamanaka Flower Shop.
Needless to say, Sasuke was in a mild state of shock until his mind caught up with him and realized it was just Ino (although, at times she seemed quite the threat. He was sure she meant well) and he allowed his lips to lift into a friendly (albeit, uncertain) smirk.
"Ino." Was all he offered by way of greeting. The blond girl smiled at him, hands on her hips.
"Hey, haven't seen you around all summer." She mock-pouted, "Been hangin' out with Sakura instead of me?"
And that was how it went. They mostly talked, and went over what they did over the summer—Sasuke left out the parts about running away and living with and dating Naruto. While he was sure Ino was just after him for the sport, he had a feeling she'd be a bit put out if she found out he wasn't exactly straight.
He left an hour later and he felt... lighter. It was unexpectedly nice to see and talk to Ino. It was true, they weren't very close; indeed, he was closer to Sakura than he was to her, but... it had been relaxing. To talk to someone from school. He had promised Sakura to hang out with her and Ino and Naruto sometime, hadn't he? Maybe they could go and do that sometime. Just watch a movie or something. He'd even put up with the Inuzuka mutt if Naruto insisted.
When Naruto returned home a few hours after Sasuke, the raven found himself torn between telling Naruto about his visit with Ino and not. While he was sure Naruto would be less than pleased, he wanted to tell Naruto about his thoughts. About getting together with their friends and hanging out.
"Naruto."
The blond was doing dishes tonight—Sasuke insisted they should take turns—and the raven was sitting at the table, fidgeting slightly.
"Yeah?"
Gods, why did this feel so weird? Why did he feel like such a kid? "I saw Ino today."
Naruto stopped, looking over his shoulder at his boyfriend. "You mean she came over?" His nose was scrunched in confusion, and Sasuke looked away, down at his hands.
"No. I walked around. Came by her family's flower shop by chance."
There was a small clatter as Naruto put down a dish and stood in front of Sasuke.
"What do you mean you walked around? You went out?"
"Yeah. I did. I have been." A spark of anger lit in Sasuke's stomach.
"What—what the hell, Sasuke!" The tone and volume of his voice made Sasuke's head snap up and meet blue eyes clouded by anger and worry. "What if Warujie saw you? What if you'd been caught?"
And that small spark of anger exploded and Sasuke stood abruptly, eyes narrowed in a glare. "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do? I'm not a kid! You're not my keeper!"
Sasuke stiffened as a tan hand hit the wall next to his ear and he felt trapped and Naruto's eyes were furious. And Sasuke stood there, staring back up at him, waiting for him to do something. And then he did.
Naruto's hand grasped the back of Sasuke's pale neck and kissed him roughly, tongue exploring his mouth. Sasuke moaned and kissed back hard, panting when they parted. Naruto found a spot on Sasuke's neck and began to suck on it.
"Fuck, Sasuke, that was hot." Naruto grumbled out between licks and bites.
Well, mused Sasuke, it was certainly an unexpected twist, but he'd so won this fight.
The next day was warm and light-hearted, filled with the usual banter, flirting, and jokes. It was like an underlying tension had been lifted and things were falling into place for them both. It was nice; it felt like real life, not just the fake one they'd both been living for too long.
Sasuke's eyes were unfocused as he gazed at Naruto, the blond still fast asleep. He gently reached out, long pale fingers touching the tan throat.
How easy it would be to simply take a knife and cut his throat up.
The weakness would forever be severed, and Sasuke would go back to sleep, a warm body no longer at his side.
Then he could be just like—
A laugh escaped his throat, but soon it turned into a sob.
"Sasuke?"
The raven's body trembled, crying without tears. Warm arms wrapped around him, pulling him close.
He buried his face in the tan neck that only moments ago he had wanted to tear apart.
"Sasuke..." Naruto's fingers ran through his dark hair.
Sasuke could no longer understand why he wanted to kill the only person who cared.
Sasuke had been unable to return to sleep, so both he and Naruto began their morning routines early—showering, eating, brushing teeth. But both were aware of the acute lack of banter and taunts that usually filled the silences. Naruto was glad it was Sunday, conveniently giving him an excuse to be with Sasuke and find out what it was that had upset him.
They'd somehow managed to end up curled up on the couch, likely because they were both still tired, but couldn't go back to sleep. There was no talk between them, and a tired, dreamy, numb sort of peace settled over them.
Sasuke had finally fallen asleep on the couch an hour later, his head resting on Naruto's shoulder, when the blond distinctly heard the door open, bang shut, and in strode none other than—
"Aw! It's so cute!"
—Jiraiya.
Naruto scowled and lifted a finger to his lips before gently shifting Sasuke's weight off of him and settling the smaller boy on the couch. Naruto strode over to Jiraiya.
"Quiet. He didn't get any sleep last night, so don't wake him."
Jiraiya lifted a brow suggestively,
"So why didn't he get any sleep? Did you keep him awake?"
Naruto's scowl (more of a pout) deepened.
"No! I said he didn't sleep. I slept fine."
"Oh, so he did all the work. Apparently not very good at it..."
"We didn't do anything... We didn't do anything! He just couldn't sleep! And besides—he's the girl!"
Jiraiya grinned widely and one could almost see the perverted thoughts in his head.
"Oh ho ho! Is that—"
"Naruto." A third voice, sleepy and thick in its monotone, broke in, "If your friend doesn't shut up, I will kill both of you. And if you call me a girl again, I will castrate you."
And Sasuke once again settled back for sleep.
Naruto had fully expected a sharp remark from Jiraiya, but when the man didn't speak, the blond glanced up, then followed his gaze, then his blue eyes widened.
In their state of comfort, both had forgotten Sasuke was wearing a short-sleeve shirt. And his wrists and arms were showing. And Jiraiya had seen.
Naruto caught the man's eye and motioned him into the kitchen.
"His arms—" Jiraiya began quietly.
"I know, I know. I've talked to him about it and... he's promised not to do it again, and I think he's telling the truth."
Jiraiya studied the boy. Naruto could be naïve and trusting, and while he didn't think that Sasuke would deliberately hurt him... "Some of those scars," He said, "they look pretty deep."
Naruto nodded slowly, "Yeah. I know."
Jiraiya knew then what Naruto did not. In his life, Jiraiya had seen many things; those included people whom had attempted suicide by cutting. He knew how deep such a scar would run and what direction it would take. Naruto did not. He did not know that Sasuke had attempted suicide at least once in the last year. Naruto cared for Sasuke very much, and if he had known, pain would be all over his expressive features at the mention of those scars.
Jiraiya would not tell him, then, because it wasn't his right.
Trying a new approach he said, "Do you know why he did it?"
Naruto gave a vague shrug, "I know it has something to do with his guardian Warujie, but Sasuke said he wasn't hit or anything..." He swallowed before whispering, "He's never said... what happened."
Jiraiya squeezed his shoulder, smiling down at the youth, "He'll tell you when he's ready. And he will. I can tell he loves you."
Naruto's lips twitched into a smile, but it faded as he said, uncertainly, "I've never seen any marks or anything, so—I don't think he was abused or anything, but I don't know what it could have been..." He was bitting his lip with a distant look in his eyes.
"Sometimes... people can't handle their life very well. They can't deal with what has happened to them and... they don't know how to express their feelings," Jiraiya sighed. "Cutting could have given him a sense of control or release and Sasuke has never struck me as a social person. He hasn't mentioned friends from his old home or anywhere else, has he? He probably never had anyone to talk to."
As Jiraiya's mind flitted to every child psychology book he'd ever read, a look of understanding came across Naruto's face.
"So he'd—he'd cut himself, because that was, like... the only thing that'd make him feel better?"
Jiraiya smiled, pleased to see that Naruto caught on quickly. "Yeah. That's it."
Suddenly, his mood changed, mind snapping back to why he was here in the first place. "Hoy! So, let's go out and get ramen before Princess Sasuke wakes up all cranky!"
Naruto snickered, relief washing over his face. "You and Kiba would get along well."
End Chapter 11
And the moral is: sex solves all your problems. Unfavorable guardian? Disagreement with a spouse? XD I'm kidding. Practice safe sex and all that jazz. (Hey, I've got to keep my conscience clean, kiddos.)
Ahem. Jiraiya was a rather roundabout way of me trying to explain Sasuke's bad habits, partly because I needed to talk it out myself and partly to clarify anyone who was curious.
And Sasuke's a freak. Expect more next chapter.
It looks like FFnet is starting to fix up their issue with the alerts. If it wouldn't be too much a bother, maybe you could manually check the story next week, even if you don't get the alert? I promise to have the chapter up on Tuesday. :D