"Forgotten Kiss"

Okay, so I decided it was the last installment. I had said it would be and although it breaks my heart to stop, I think the is the right time for me to do so. I had decided that the story would not only be a series of random kisses and one-shots, but that it would build up towards a resolution of sorts. This last chapter is between the episodes 5x15 and 5x16, thus during the whole 99/100 arch. I know I did not write the girly conversation between Ange and Bones in the previous chapter, but I preferred to use an ellipse You'll see why. I hope you like this last chapter. I can't even believe I wrote the last four chapters in two days lol. I really wanted to finish it. And I gotta say that the credit goes to a great Bones fan I got to know better lately and who inspired me with her stories. Ce qui ne veut pas dire que je ne crois plus à ma théorie :D. And, to the fact that I still don't have my internet connection as I am writing, it prevents me from wandering aimlessly around the web and have me stay focused :p.

Disclaimer: This is not mine, although since we're over a month and an half away from the airing of 99/100, all speculation is totally mine. After all, I'm part of the test audience. So are you guys, actually. Which makes of you awesome people.

********************

They had received an enigmatic call from Sweets early this morning. Booth feared it would be because he was looking for advice concerning his marriage proposal. He had gone through all this with Hodgins, he really did not want to do that again. Not that he was entirely hermetic to the idea of cheesy romanticism but not with Sweets, because he would undoubtedly try to read into it. He was not unaware of anything anyway... But why calling Bones then? He shuddered. Something was going to happen. He hesitated an instant between pretending to be stuck in the traffic or saying Parker had the flu. Yeah, too late.

- "Hey Booth. You know what Sweets wants?"

She had spotted him in the hallway. She did not look alarmed, merely curious. Maybe he should watch himself, he did not want his nervousness to transpire on her, it would only complicate things.

- "No idea. But I hope it's not about Daisy."

When they made their way in the psychologist's office, he gave them a smile that Booth identified immediately as a poor attempt to conceal some sick plan. Yep, something was up. Now he could pretend to receive a call from Rebecca.

- "Dr Brennan, Agent Booth, please have a seat."

His manners irritated Booth, who threw himself on the couch to emphasize his disapprobation.

- "What do you want Sweets?"

That was going to be difficult. Not that he had expected things to go smoothly. It never did with them. That was why he had come to like them. Love them, even. He got up, seizing two heavy manuscripts on his desk before handing them to his patients slash friends.

- "I'd like you to read this."

Booth frowned, weighing the manuscript before throwing it on the coffee table.

- "No way. Too heavy. Prescribe graphic novels and I'll see what I can do."

Sweets smiled. At that moment he knew Booth had understood the reason why he had made them come there. So he decided to outwit the agent by striking where he remained helplessly weak.

- "Dr Brennan, would you please read out loud the contents of page 365?"

With that he smirked. Booth's fingers felt itchy, if only he had his gun. Then glancing towards his partner, he realized that maybe his fears were unfounded. She was clueless, Sweets would not be that stupid. He would not force that upon her. She was so adorable, searching for the right page without questioning the psychologist's motives. Always the good girl. Damn, he loved her so much.

- "Alright...'Subjects A and B have experienced varying occurrences of abusive treatment but the psychological impact on their emotional development was identical. Both developed a high degree of mistrust towards their peers.' Should I continue?"

Oh damn. That was going to be some introspective shit about their childhood? He had made himself clear, hadn't he? No more talk about his old man. And certainly not in front of Bones. He gave Sweets a death glare. But the young man did not look at him, focused on Bones' reactions.

- "Yes, please, continue."

She nodded.

- "Their neurosis found antagonistic ways to express themselves in adulthood. Subject A favored denial while subject B chose to channel the rage subsequent to the treatment received during childhood.' Sweets where are you going with this? I don't understand."

He gave her a reassuring smile, rapidly glancing towards Booth. He was fuming with rage. Yeah, his analysis was up to the point. Although it was to early to praise himself. He would have to survive to this session first.

- "Please, keep reading."

She sighed, apparently losing patience. It seemed the meaning of what she read was slowly making its way through her emotionally clouded brain.

- "This places both subjects A and B in a position of constant need to control their environment and a constant fear to experience a level of pain comparable to that which they endured in childhood. But that also places them in a delicate condition towards one another. Subject B, in control of his emotions is subjected to the fear of reproducing parental assault by asserting feelings over subject A. While subject A is reluctant to accept dependence due to a traumatic experience of abandonment. Both share a fear of commitment rooted in childhood trauma, but both share a deep need for the other, due to the similarity of their experiences. They represent for the other a healthy derivative from lifelong trauma and their acceptance of that fact would prove highly beneficial...' Sweets who are subjects A and B?"

She was frowning, visibly confused. That achieved to upset Booth. Sweets observed that he was taking his threatening posture, projecting his body forward.

- "What the hell are you doing, Sweets? I thought it was not the right time!"

He had expected threats, insults. Not such a display of insecurity. This showed him how sensitive the issue was for Booth and made him determined to help. Concerned that he might have pushed too far, he gave him a knowing smile.

- "It is the right time, trust me."

Bones eyed them both, even more confused as she felt left out of their conversation. If only she knew that she was the main subject of this whole thing...

- "What is the right time? What are you talking about?"

Booth ignored her.

- "It better damn well be. Otherwise you're a dead man."

Ah! There was the threat. That reassured Sweets, who chose to ignore the comment to focus on Brennan. He knew this might take some time, but they were getting where he wanted them to.

- "Dr Brennan, subjects A and B are you and Agent Booth."

She instantaneously turned her eyes on Booth, checking on his own reaction. So he was aware of that? He did not look surprised. Instinctively, she tried to change the subject.

- "This is your book? I thought we weren't supposed to read it."

Sweets smiled. Of course she would do that.

- "I considered publication and need your consent. But this is not why we're here."

- "Why else if you want us to review your manuscript?"

As she made a mocking face, he wondered if she only pretended not to understand what was going on. With her, nothing ever surprised him. When he looked at Booth, he realized he was not the only one asking himself that question. He took a breath, determined to bring her into focus.

- "What you read, Dr Brennan, is the conclusion I drew after two years of daily observations. What is your opinion? Do you consider my analysis to be biased?"

- "Psychology is biased by definition."

No, she was conscious. Her defensive process was on. He would have to be faster than her to prevent her from installing her usual emotional autism. He would have to push her. He was convinced it was the right time, no matter how agitated Booth seemed to be. He knew, it was his job to know this type of things. More than that, they were his friends, he would never risk their relationship without being sure.

- "Yes, but besides that... Do you consider that subjects A and B are reasonable representations of you and Agent Booth?"

Always practical, she frowned, processing the information.

- "Your representation seems highly archetypal if you consider that what draws Booth and I together lies only in our dysfunctional childhoods."

Booth smiled bitterly. He did not know what she meant, but he knew that she would most likely choose denial, shut him out and that meant Sweets had ruined months of slow but secure strategic moves towards her. God if only he had his gun...

- "See Sweets? You're dead."

Bones made a face; he had not talked to her since they had entered Sweets office. Why did he keep ignoring her to threaten the psychologist? There seemed to be an understanding between them and she did not like the idea of being kept out of it.

- "Booth why are you upset? Don't you agree with me?"

He did not dare to look at her; if he did, he feared he would be unable to conceal his frustration. He did not want her to think it was directed to her. All this was Sweet's damn fault.

- "Sure Bones."

Instead he kept on greeting Sweets with his bitter, threatening smile. That did not influence the young man, still determined to solve this problem. He had caused it, in Booth's opinion - he knew- but in his opinion what had caused it was years of intense denial. As a psychologist he could not caution denial. He would not.

- "Alright, Dr Brennan. Would you please now read page 385 and comment it for me?"

Now she was getting annoyed. She looked at Booth again, looking for advice, but he did not return her look. What was with him? He seemed so tensed. His jaw was contracting at a regular interval. She felt like touching his arm, ask him what was wrong, but she suppressed that need. Instead she focused her own tension on Sweets.

- "You might as well tell us what's your point, Sweets. I don't see the interest of reading your book to you when you know exactly what this is going to be about. Unless you have some ego issues you want to address."

Her last line made Booth smile. This was what she had wanted to do. Sweets noticed her efforts and that reinforced his conviction that this was the right moment for them both to confront their feelings. Yep, the best moment. Maybe the only moment.

- "This is not about me, Dr Brennan. My 40 pages long conclusion reviews a set of reasons -among which childhood trauma, but not exclusively- enjoining you and Agent Booth to accept the fact that you are greatly dependent on each other. This dependence, is the psychological definition one gives to love."

There, he had said it. It would either break or... Yeah, it had to break. He could see apprehension forming in Booth's eyes when he said the word. Brennan was not long to react.

- "Is that why Angela harassed me about Andy Lister being Booth, yesterday?"

Yes. Damn, she was smart. Angela had had her "water testing" conversation with her the previous day and had made a detailed report to Sweets as to why they were ready. For a second he doubted their joint conclusion. No. They were ready. Booth frowned, now he felt left out.

- "What?"

Sweets chose to ignore him again. And to lie again. Well, not so much lie, rather install a climate of trust by omitting to mention certain details. Like... a relational conspiracy.

- "No, Dr Brennan. But I would be interested to know what happened with Angela."
She looked down, now extremely upset.

- "She read that scene on page 287. I was unsure of its necessity and I asked for her opinion. She always counseled me concerning the romantic dynamic of Andy and Kathy. And she told me this was autobiographic. It's not. I am a fiction writer! And apparently, so are you, Sweets."

Sweets knew to which scene she was referring, and so did Booth. So when she stormed out of the room, the agent was close from strangling the psychologist.

- "I'm gonna end you, Sweets. You're the one who told me not to say anything that might unsettle her!"

His menacing attitude did not unsettle Sweets, still focused. He felt that wherever Brennan had gone, she would not be far. She had escaped, yes, but her escape was as limited as her denial. It looked as though she had put her last elements of contradiction into that statement. She did not believe in her reasoning anymore. She was definitely ready.

- "You do know what scene of her book she was referring to, right?"

Booth nodded. Yes, he had come across her manuscript one evening during the past week. She had always made clear that she did not want him to peek before her work was completed; but he had overheard a conversation between her and her editor, who had advised her to give a new dimension to her characters relationship. He had found that dramatically ironic. Not so much now. Sensing his discomfort, Sweets tried to be reassuring.

- "Booth, she is ready. She needed a push. She is in love with you, but if she keep denying that fact it might be very detrimental to your relationship, both professionally and personally."

Such assertiveness only achieved to make Booth more uncomfortable. How could the psychologist be so sure, when he, who was the one involved in that mess, had no idea of what was going to happen?

- "Why now?"

- "Angela and I saw you kissing in the Jeffersonian parking lot two weeks ago. We... observed your behavior and I concluded it was the right time."

That explained a lot of things. Why he and Angela had spent so much time together, talking in weird codes and using innuendos. Hey, wait a minute, was he even going to propose to Daisy? That's not the kind of thing to use as cover-up. Yeah, whatever, there was worse right now.

- "So Angela is involved..."

Booth seemed defeated. That was something Sweets hated to see, especially when there was no reason for it.

- "Yes. Booth, listen, I would never have done it if I had considered it might jeopardize your relationship. You have to trust me."

This seemed to appease Booth finally. He trusted Sweets judgment as much as his own. What he disliked was the idea to have been used and observed without his consent. But that issue would be settled later. Now, all he cared for was Bones. Where was she? He should not even stay there, he should be running after her. But what if he did and she shut him out again? God...

- "You knew about that scene in her book too, right?"

- "Angela told me about it this morning, why?"

Sweets frowned when Booth's concern returned suddenly. There was one detail he had omitted in his equation, or that he ignored. Most likely he ignored it. Hopefully that would not ruin his theory. If it did.. Booth shut his eyes before he started to speak; rubbing his temple.

- "It happened. Like, a month ago. We had drinks and... she said she loved me. Well, she did not say it but when I asked her she answered yes. I thought she had forgotten. When I read that scene five days ago... I was not supposed to read it, okay? I had decided to wait until the publication of her book. If it was still there, then it would have meant that she was ready. That she wanted me to know she remembered, you see?"

He waited for Sweets reaction. He did not look surprised. He simply nodded, biting his lower lip and reflecting upon what he had just heard.

- "Alright. Then you need to confront her now. This is not going to be easy but you have to be firm. She will most likely favor denial. Do not let her. Go find her, and do it."

His tone was definitive. Booth got up instantly, reaching for the door. He realized that he was this kid's toy and the thought did not miss to irritate him. So just before leaving, as a warning, he raised his hand.

- "Sweets, if you screwed us up..."

The psychologist nodded, ironically acknowledging the usual threat.

- "I know, I'm dead."

With that the door closed behind Booth and Sweets sighed loudly. Gosh, that better be working.

*****************

He headed for the parking lot first, hoping she had not left the building. She had not, her Toyota was still parked in her usual spot. He wondered if she would have been upset enough to leave without her car. After all, D.C was not immensely stretched, she might have decided to go back to the lab on foot. But if she was still there and he left, that would create a gap that would be hard to close when he would finally find her. So, just in case, he got to his office. His agitation did not miss to raise the attention of his co-workers, but he did not care, he had to find her.
When he saw her sitting in the visitor's chair facing his desk, he sighed. Sweets was right, she was ready. She had not escaped. But that did not prevent him from being extra cautious when he entered his office. To him she was like a wild, fragile creature that the smallest mistake could break.

- "Bones..."

Her head was bent, she was playing with her hands. She would not look at him. He knew why and he knew he should not force his gaze on her, so he sat beside her, facing the wall. Her embarrassment would fade if she did not feel he was watching her.

- "You think they're right?"

What could he answer? There was no more time for lies. Sweets had been clear, and he was right. He had to confront her. Confronting her meant saying the truth.

- "Yes."

Such a simple word, and yet that meant so much. It meant he believed that they loved each other, that they should be together, that they were meant to be. Simply. She sighed, still focused on her hands.

- "I didn't forget."

He frowned.

- "What?"

- "That evening last month. I pretended I had forgotten because I was ashamed of my behavior. This is the scene Angela and I argued about yesterday. In that scene, Kathy and Andy share drinks and... Kathy loses control over her tongue. Literally and figuratively. That was true, Angela was right. It was you and me. I don't know why I decided to write it. It was probably the same reason that motivated me to write that novel while you were in a coma. I suppose it was easier to use this fictional safety valve to express my desires than to ask myself those questions."

She was not denying. She was exposing her innermost truth. The completeness of the instant scared Booth. Now, he felt he was not ready. What could he answer? What was going to happen to them now that she was admitting something she had fought for so long? Something he had fought even longer? What if she did not want anything out of that truth?

- "You don't have to..."

This last protest was interrupted by Bones' gaze, finally on him. She smiled.

- "I need to Booth. I can't find any more excuses. I just need time to... process things."

He smiled back. She wanted something out of the truth. She just had to figure out what she wanted exactly. He would help her do that. He would do anything.

- "Alright."

They sat there, silently reviewing the past hour. The past months. Everything seemed to click, each random smile, touch, kiss. It suddenly formed a whole that summarized what they were to each other. Everything. They were everything to each other, and that did not even scare her. When he reached for her hand, she felt bald.

- "I need you to say it, too."

He chuckled, observing their entwined fingers. If it was not so utterly important, he would tease her by pretending not to know what she expected to hear. But he knew. She needed time and facts. He would give her both.

- "I love you, Bones."

He did not hope for an answer just now. But it felt damn good to say it.

The End