Chapter 11: MD RWBY and MD JNPR
Question: am I, The Draigg, going to make Teams RWBY and JNNPR watch MD Geist? Answer: of course I am! Really, it would be a waste if I didn't. I mean, think of the possibilities! I'm doing something new and interesting here! I'm at the forefront of RWBY fan fiction with MD Geist in it! Now, while that sounds very specific, I think it makes this story unique. Now, crank up Violence of the Flame or Merciless Soldier, enjoy the cheesy/Manly McBeefington 80's riffs, and read this chapter!
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That afternoon, Weiss, Blake, and Ruby had just stepped of off the shuttle that took them back to Beacon Academy from Vale City. Yang had called them around the time they had already left the video store, to tell them that she had already gotten the DVD player and snacks, and was heading back to Beacon to set everything up. It was fortunate that she didn't go back with the rest of her team. Otherwise, the added cost of her airship ticket, along with the others, would make the money sucking hole in her wallet even bigger.
"So," Ruby asked Weiss, "What else did you get?".
"Well, I got the movie that I wanted… and others that I didn't," Weiss replied, casting a glare at Blake.
Blake shrugged. "Hey, if you don't want your little sexual adventure getting out, then it was the right thing to do," was her justification. Then, reaching into the bag of stuff Weiss bought, Blake pulled out the gum, unwrapped a piece to chew.
Weiss' glare only intensified as Blake chewed on her bubblegum and blew a large bubble. But, after a minute of chewing, she spat it out. It was truly a shame that the flavor always went away quickly. That image directly contrasted with the magnificent bitch that made her buy all of that weird anime porn… no wait, Blake called it hentai. Whatever, it meant the same thing.
Seriously? Inmu? What the back of the DVD case advertised to Weiss was that it was some anthology of sexual stories, all with some weird dominatrix lady. And tentacles. Plenty of tentacles with eyes on the ends. That wasn't an image Weiss was going to get out of her mind any time soon, unfortunately. Hopefully, some romantic comedy would wash away the thoughts of tentacle rape out of her mind.
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Walking through the door to the dorm room, Team RWB was greeted by the image of Yang trying to hook up the DVD player to the small television on the desk. To the side of the television, there were a few bags of chips and cookies. Without skipping a beat, Ruby walked over to desk and grabbed the bag of circus cookies. She began to pop the little animal shaped cookies into her mouth, as if she was eating popcorn.
"Hey, save some for everyone else," advised Yang. Then, turning to Blake and Weiss, she asked, "What'd ya get?".
"Take a look," offered Weiss as she dumped the contents of the plastic bag onto Blake's bunk.
Plugging in the last A/V cable, Yang turned away from the DVD set up and walked over to Blake's bunk. She was rather… surprised to see what she had bought. In the pile of DVDs was several different cartoons, exactly ONE romantic comedy, and a shit ton of hentai.
Picking up Anime Fiction, Yang glanced at the back curiously. "I didn't, uh, know you were into this stuff Weiss," she observed. Looking at the cover, she couldn't help but notice one of the more prominent pictures, that of a man with fluffy green hair, wearing a yellow shirt and black tie, with his face buried in the chest of a topless woman with a yellow hairband and purple-ish hair.
Picking up the movie she intended to play, Weiss bitterly noted, "Blame your girlfriend for that,".
"Okay, that makes more sense," Yang agreed. Dropping the copy of Anime Fiction on the bed, she picked up Samurai XXX to look over. "…Okay, Blake? I gotta ask, what compelled you to get this much hentai?".
"I simply saw the opportunity to get some. I took it, obviously," the cat girl said with a shrug.
"Yeah, by extorting me," Weiss fumed to herself. That's what Blake did by threatening to text Yang about her and Ruby's encounter the other night. It was extortion, pure and simple. But, she couldn't say that, otherwise she might get the fist belonging to an angry blonde embedded in her face.
"Oh, and I got you a gift, Yang," Blake announced as she walked up to her bed and pulled MD Geist out of the movie pile. Tossing it over to her girlfriend, Blake said, "I bet you'll like it,".
Catching the case, Yang read the back of the case. To her, this anime looked extremely badass. Look at that power armor! Sure, it seemed incredibly unwieldy and probably hard to move in, but damn, it looked cool with all its pointless spikes and random demon head embroidered on the helmet. It was like someone decided to animate a metal album cover.
"I gotta say, it looks pretty rad. Can we watch this instead, Weiss?" Yang asked the heiress.
"No! We said we were watching a romantic comedy tonight!" Weiss heatedly pointed out.
"…But can we watch it after?" pleaded Yang.
Sighing, Weiss replied, "Sure, whatever. I'm not going to watch it, that's for sure,". All she wanted was to enjoy a nice romantic comedy with her friends, not some weird animated action movie!
Walking over to the DVD player, Weiss put in the copy of How to Lose a Guy in a Week she had bought. Now that the television was on, and the DVD remote full of batteries, Team RWBY was ready to begin their movie night. Now all they needed was for Team JNPR to show up.
"Ruby, think you can tell the others that we're all ready here?" Weiss asked of her girlfriend.
"Sure thing!" said Ruby. With that, she walked out of the room and made her way across the hall.
Taking a step back from the television, a thought suddenly hit Weiss. "Wait, do you think this T.V. is big enough?".
"Well, it's what we got. It'll have to work," observed Yang.
"I suppose so…" Weiss muttered. Still, she would have preferred to have a bigger screen to view the movie on. It was going to be annoying, having to be cramped together to watch what was happening on screen.
As soon as that idea finished, Ruby re-entered the room, joined by a passive Jaune and Pyrrha, a bubbly Nora, and a (typically) bored looking Ren. "Here they are!" Ruby declared as she proudly marched through the door.
"Good, good, I'm glad that you came, everyone!" greeted Weiss. "If you would please grab a seat, you can grab the snacks on the desk and get settled in!". One of the things that Weiss had been schooled in before she ran off to Beacon Academy was to be a gracious host. Try to sound enthusiastic, try to be be polite, offer the guests many amenities. It was simple to remember. It was harder to actually act out.
"Thanks for inviting us!" Pyrrha said with a smile as she pulled out the desk chair to sit in.
"Yeah, thanks!" added Jaune as he sat in a chair next to Pyrrha.
Ren didn't say anything, as he was trying to stop Nora from taking all of the bags of chips from the desk.
When Weiss started the movie, everyone attentively watched it. However, around the thirty-five minute mark, everyone had formed their own opinions on the film. Weiss, for one, was enjoying it. To her, it was an enjoyable blend of romance and comedy, more from the fact that it was full of people acting like jerks, but in a kind of funny way. Ruby was pretty neutral about the movie. This wasn't exactly her type of film, but she went along with it for the sake of Weiss. Yang and Ren couldn't care less, and the both of them were surfing the internet on their scrolls. Blake, Jaune and Pyrrha were silently watching it, just along for the ride. At least it was something kind of entertaining to watch.
Weiss let out a small chuckle at a joke that happened on screen. While laughing, she turned to Ruby and asked, "Isn't this a good movie?".
Ruby out on her best "Of course, sweetie" smile and said, "Yep! You bet it is!". That, at best was only a half truth. She only found a few of the jokes funny at best, and she was having a hard time connecting to the characters. How could she possibly relate to an ambitious magazine writer and an absolute bro type guy?
Taking that as a good answer, Weiss abruptly stood up from her chair and walked towards the bathroom. She had been holding in her bowel movements for a while. She just wanted to make sure that her audience was enjoying themselves so far. That was the mark of a good host, right there. And now that she got an idea that they were, she could take care of her business.
Taking care of her business took longer than she thought it would. Given that she had quite a few cans of coffee earlier today while in Vale City, Weiss was suffering from the ever-dreaded coffee-shits. And, after all that was said and done, it took her a while to carefully wipe. She didn't dare to leave the seat a brown stained mess, like Yang did on occasion. At least she was big enough of a woman to clean it up after being caught.
Once she was done washing her hands and spraying the entire bathroom three times over with perfumed aerosol spray, Weiss exited into the dorm room, expecting to see the group continuing to enjoy the movie.
However, what she saw instead was Yang flipping through the selection screen for MD Geist.
"What the hell, Yang?! We agreed on watching my movie!" Weiss heatedly exclaimed.
Yang gave an almost innocent shrug. "Well, we kinda thought that it was uninteresting. But, at least we can try something new!".
"But we agreed on it!" Weiss screeched, stomping on the floor on anger.
"Look, if this movie doesn't go well, we'll switch back to the other one, okay?" offered Yang.
Weiss was really torn right now. On the one hand, the heiress wanted to rip out Yang's spine and strangle her with it for blatantly stepping over what the game plan was for this movie night. On the other hand, Weiss didn't want to start a massive fight. Not only would it look incredibly bad in front of Team JNPR if the host argued with an audience member, but she vaguely remembered that one of her list items was to try argue less. So, one that last point, she had her hands tied.
Sitting in her chair, she turned to Ruby and asked, "Did everyone really want to watch something different?".
Sheepishly, Ruby looked at Weiss and said, "Yeah, pretty much. But, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't say anything,".
Weiss bit her lip at Ruby. Well, it was too late to do anything now. She might as well wait for MD Geist to finish so she could put back on How to Lose a Guy in a Week.
Without any further ado, MD Geist began to play, and Weiss' new spark of annoyance debuted.
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For the sake of brevity, only a few moments of the MD Geist experience will be highlighted. Partially that it would take away the experience of a person watching it for themselves, and mostly because writing in the entire 45 minutes of the director's cut version would take way too much time and effort. But, if one wishes to experience the glory that is MD Geist, it is available for streaming on many different internet platforms, and the home video versions are widely available. Now, let's get on to the viewing experience:
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"In the age that proclaimed the end of the Christian Era, mankind began advancing into space, spreading it's seeds across the stars," read part of the opening crawl. It then cut to the far image of a desert planet.
"This ought to be fantastic…" Weiss groaned to herself.
"Oh, have an open mind, would ya?" chided Yang.
"Right, Weiss. We can't judge this movie solely on it's opening," Pyrrha chimed in.
"Whatever," Weiss spat under her breath.
"However, the characteristic flames of humanity's wars were not yet extinguished,". The image of the planet zoomed in even closer, revealing that it had one unbroken moon. The planet was as brown as most modern shooters, which is to say, very.
"Even on this planet, Jerra…". Cut to a massive cityscape, which then pans towards the ground. Then, several over-designed mechs fly in, firing tons of bullets and missiles at a massive tank, blowing it up.
After a brief shot of a squadron of warplanes flying over the city, it cuts to a battle between more mechs and armed foot soldiers. A soldier is carrying his limp ally on his shoulder, and is firing his weapon while screaming at the mechs. Soon enough, he is completely blown in half by a large laser beam. A different soldier is also screaming at a mech and firing. He is swiftly killed by a robotic fist. He explodes into a cloud of gore, as if he was made of cheap plastic filled with pig intestines.
"…Wonderful. Simply wonderful," Weiss growled.
"The new generation of humanity, known as the Nexrum, oppose the rule of the Earth Government over all the planets. Hoping to contain the Nexrum, Jerra's regular army wages war. Neither side will yield a single step. While their offense and defense see-saw back and forth, the chaos of war grows," the opening crawl continued.
"You know, this is a pretty big info-dump for something that's only forty five minutes," Ren pointed out looking at the back of the DVD case.
"Maybe they wanted to make the setting sound believable?" suggested Jaune.
"…You keep on thinking that. Telling, not showing is never a good thing," Ren replied.
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On screen, a massive leader of a group of bikers/raiders had killed a man in black power armor with a thrown spear. How supposedly powerful armor can't stop a stick with a pointy end, nobody knows. Besides that, our hero, Geist, arrives, having woken up and escaped his enforced stasis in an orbiting satellite. He quickly moves to claim the fallen man's armor as his own.
While Geist is scavenging the armor, the bikers that killed the soldier tell Geist to stop stealing the stuff from the guy they killed. In an incredibly deep voice, (which would normally sound cool, but sounds ridiculous alongside everyone else's bad voice acting), Geist tells them that they wouldn't know how to even use it.
After being threatened by the gang, the gang leader walks up. He says that while Geist may have guts for trying to steal from them, it's their stuff. So, he can either join their gang, or fight him personally. Geist, being the genetically engineered super-soldier that he is, elects to go with the second option.
"Any rules?" Geist gravels out.
"Just one: kill," the raider leader says, before attempting to bring his clasped fists down on Geist's head.
With one swift motion, Geist pulls out a knife, and cuts off the large man's hands. Blood spews out of his arm stumps. Frankly, the stream is more than a normal person should have in their body. Falling to the ground while screaming, Geist moves around to the leader's back. Then, he plants his knife in the side of the biker's head.
"You bastard!" the biker leader groans, even though he has a freakin' knife in his head. Geist pulls the knife out, and blood pours out of the raider's mouth, even though that shouldn't happen if a man got stabbed in the brain. The brain doesn't have an opening to the mouth, in case anybody didn't know.
The biker leader slumps over, dead. The rest of his gang looks on in shock.
Teams RWBY and JNPR were in shock too, for different reasons. Yang and Nora were having an absolute blast with all the onscreen violence. Jaune, Pyrrha, Ruby, Blake, and Ren had no clue what the hell they just watched. And Weiss… well…
"BLOOD DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!".
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Skipping the OVA forward a little more, Geist and the biker leader's ex-girlfriend, Vaiya, have just rescued Colonel Krutz and his mobile fortress from Nexrum forces. After he refuses to pay Vaiya for rescuing them, she and Geist leave. Then, he gives a massive info-dump to his subordinates, telling them that the MD's (soldiers from the Most Dangerous Project, including Geist) were too much of a threat on the battlefield, including their own allies. Geist was one of the ones that didn't get killed, and instead was locked in stasis under Krutz's orders. His subordinates convince him that Geist would be a valuable asset to their mission, and Krutz ponders this.
Cut to the next scene, and Krutz is informing Geist and Vaiya of their mission, as if they hadn't left and he had already recruited them.
"…Did the disk skip or something?" Ruby tenuously asked.
"I don't think so, hold on," Yang said, before rewinding the scene a little. Nope, the disk wasn't dirty or scratched, it was just incredibly incompetent pacing. "…Nope, it didn't," Yang said, a little confused.
The audience sat there in some disbelief (except for Nora, she didn't notice or care), as the scene continued.
The colonel's mission was to stop the activation of the Death Force, a swarm of doomsday robots sent into priming stages when the federal president of Jerra was assassinated. They will kill all organic life on the planet if not stopped. The objective is to send in a strike team of armored commandos into the Death Force's main hub, Brain Palace, to stop the activation. There is less than a day left before this happens.
"Wow, Brain Palace is a really dumb name for a computer," Weiss bitterly noted.
"Well, can you think of anything better?" Yang asked.
"If it was up to me, we wouldn't be watching this to begin with," the heiress sulked.
"I would go for the name 'Mind Castle'! That sounds cool!" Nora butted in. Yang nodded at Nora's suggestion. At least it was a decent one.
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Skipping ahead once more, in the invasion of Brain Palace, Geist has just defeated the Final Terminator. It was a three-stage robot, shedding an armor layer every time it got massive damage. It was sicked on him by Colonel Krutz using a control ring he inexplicably had. He wants Geist dead to prevent him from killing everything once his mission was done. After a drawn out and extremely poorly storyboarded fight scene, in which it's nearly impossible to understand what's happening, it cuts to Colonel Krutz deactivating the Death Force.
Then, the smoking endoskeleton of the Final Terminator comes through the control room door. At first, Colonel Krutz believes the robot succeeded in killing Geist, but then it slumps forward, revealing the power armored Geist. For some reason, Krutz starts uncontrollably laughing, while Geist slowly moves toward him with murderous intent. After about a minute of this, Geist grabs a surprised looking Krutz (who by now had plenty of time to do something) and crushed his head with one hand. Once again, this proves power armor to be completely useless, as Krutz was wearing a full set, helmet and all.
As Geist walks up to the control panel, Vaiya runs in, claiming that everyone else on the surface was killed, and she survived by hiding. But, on the plus side, the robots were deactivated, so the mission is a success. But, then Geist punches in the keys to reactivate the Death Force. Shocked, Vaiya tells him to stop, saying that the mission is over.
Once the Death Forces is confirmed to be activated, Geist grabs Vaiya by the neck and calmly states, "The game's not over yet. It's just beginning,". Vaiya screams in terror, as the shot pans out and fades to black.
Then, strangely triumphant music starts up as it's shown that the Death Force is matching through all the cities on Jerra, destroying everything and everyone on the planet. The last shot of the movie is Geist in his power armor, holding a large lance. As he stares at an enormous robot, a sadistic smile crosses over his face.
It fades to black, and the credits begin to roll.
"…Holy shit, that was AWESOME!" Yang exclaimed as she punched the air.
"I know! It was all like BOOM and PSSHAW and CRASH! Awesome!" Nora also gushed.
The others had… varied reactions.
Pyrrha and Jaune both had rather odd looks on their faces, as they had no clue what they just witnessed. The best the both of them could say about that OVA was that it was… something. At least it had decent music.
Ren was massaging his temples, trying to process all of what he had just seen. By no means was it anything resembling a good movie. Maybe, if it was like a parody of action movies like that, it could work. But, as it stood, he couldn't even say a thing about MD Geist. But, at least it made Nora happy. That much was good enough to him for now.
Ruby and Blake were sitting perfectly still. They honestly didn't know what they had just gotten into. All they knew was that this was a horrible mistake. The both of them now wanted to watch a regular movie, if just to get the images they saw out of their recent memory.
Weiss was visibly shaking and she repeatedly clenched and unclenched her hands. Her skin was also very clammy, as if she was trying to sweat out all the hatred she was feeling at that moment. She wouldn't even dignify that showing by saying anything about it. It wasn't as if she could, given the way her jaw was furiously clenched.
Standing up, Weiss shakily walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Hearing Weiss' screams from behind the bathroom door, Blake flatly commented, "I guess she didn't like the movie,".
The door was then kicked open. Weiss angrily stomped out of the bathroom and over to the television set up. Ripping the DVD out of the player, Weiss put MD Geist into its case and shoved it inside the nearby air vent.
"We're never watching this again!" she roared at the others. So much for being the best host possible.
Yang stood up and grabbed the DVD case from the vent. "This was a gift! Don't tell me what to do with it!".
"I refuse to allow that to be shown again in this room! All I wanted was a nice night to watch some romantic comedy, and now I've watched… THAT!" complained Weiss loudly.
"I can watch it whenever I want to!" Yang cried in defiance.
Ruby, being sick of all this fighting, sprung up to get in between the quarreling Weiss and Yang. "Would you two stop, please?! Yang, the movie sucked! And Weiss, throwing a fit won't help! Now, can we PLEASE watch the other movie now?!" she sternly exclaimed at her teammates.
Surprisingly, Yang and Weiss were somewhat cowed by this outburst. It was mostly because that this rarely ever happened. To see an angry, stern Ruby was a pretty unnerving sight.
"S-sure, Ruby," Yang stammered. She walked over to the DVD pile and pulled out the copy of How to Lose a Guy in a Week. Placing the disk in the player, the movie started up once again.
Ruby made sure to sit between Weiss and Yang this time around. There was no way another fight was going to start on her watch. Unfortunately, the uncomfortable atmosphere grew around the three girls.
As the romantic comedy played on the television, everyone except for Ruby and the ever-excited Nora felt awkward. But, they couldn't just leave. It would be rude otherwise.
Needless to say, movie night didn't go the way Weiss planned it to be.
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Do you know how many times I had to re-watch MD Geist to get the summary mostly right? About three. But, I don't really mind. Despite what I said about it above, I freaking love it. It's like watching the anime version of Birdemic, or The Room (except for the kickass soundtrack, that's great!). You know what you're watching is stupid, but it's a special kind of stupid. So, kudos to Koichi Ohata for making one of the best-worst anime ever! And like I also said, if you want experience the wonders of MD Geist, just look for it online! I'm sure it's on YouTube to view. But, enough how Geist CAN'T STOP, HE'S JUST A SOLDIER, let's get to the shout outs! Let's see…
*Using a piece of raw meat, I draw out the mentioned fan*
It's… Autistic-Grizzly! It's amazing how a bear can access a computer and type in English! But how do you get internet in a cave? Anyway, like the fresh salmon of a clear river, keep on catching the stuff I put out!
This is The Draigg, and I'm signing off for now!