Chapter III: Truth or Despair
Daily Life
When I got back to my room, I didn't feel like doing much besides changing clothes and getting in bed. Since I was tired after the trial, and had eaten enough dinner to ensure that hunger pangs wouldn't keep me awake, sleep came relatively easily.
Oddly enough, I felt less conflicted about convicting Mitamura-san than I had been about convicting Sakuragi-kun. Maybe it was because Mitamura-san's betrayal stung us more deeply than Sakuragi-kun's. Maybe it was because Mitamura-san had accepted her fate in the end. Or maybe I was simply growing used to this horrific killing game. Perhaps, no matter the reasons, there was only one acceptable outcome- finding the blackened so that the spotless could live.
At the same time, though, I wasn't at all happy about this development. The second murder had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that the first had not been an isolated occurrence, and had demonstrated that Monokuma could easily influence us to kill even if we were reluctant. If someone as seemingly upstanding as Mitamura-san could be persuaded to kill, who could be trusted? What secrets did our surviving classmates hold? And which one of us was the mastermind responsible for this?
Of course, there was a more pressing problem. Now that Mitamura-san was dead, we no longer had a leader, but since Mitamura-san had committed murder, people would probably be somewhat suspicious of anyone trying to fill that vacuum. For now, we would be resuming the breakfast meetings, if only because people were naturally hungry in the mornings, but there was no telling what would happen after that.
Such was life in the killing game, in which any of us could die at any time, and all of us would die if we didn't find that person's killer, so putting things off until later was foolishly naïve at best. That said, I couldn't think of anything when I was tired and preoccupied with Mizuhara-kun and Mitamura-san's deaths, so I decided to sleep for now, and think about it more once I was rested.
Day 9
The next morning, I woke up before my alarm clock went off, and went about my morning routine. When I finished, I checked myself over and adjusted my necktie's knot to make sure it was just right, even though I knew the person who laid down that rule was no longer here. Putting on my uniform had become a habit over the course of my year at my previous high school, and it wasn't as though I had much else to wear here, anyway.
On my way out, I picked up Monokuma's newest gift of Monocoins. I still didn't care for the sentiment behind the gift, or the fact that Monokuma's twisted game wasn't over yet, but at the very least, twelve of us had lived long enough to wake up this morning.
Heading into the hallway around 6:30 AM, I encountered Iwasawa-san, who was apparently stretching her legs.
"Good morning, Iwasawa-san," I said.
"Good morning, Miss Miura," Iwasawa-san said. "You're up early."
"I know," I said. "I could say the same thing about you."
Iwasawa-san giggled.
"This is normal for me," Iwasawa-san said, "since I do work on a farm, after all. Miss Mitamura told me that was an admirable trait, saying that if people our age got to bed and got up earlier, they'd be more likely to get to school on time."
In light of what we'd all learned at the end of the last trial, I couldn't help but wonder whether Mitamura-san truly believed this, or simply followed and preached this advice in order to fit in. Ultimately, though, it didn't matter- good advice was good advice, regardless of the motives for giving it. If Mitamura-san's life hadn't been cut short, she probably would have helped many people like Iwasawa-san, who would have been grateful to her regardless of why she helped them.
"If I may ask, how are you holding up?" I said. "I know you and Mitamura-san were..."
"Friends?" Iwasawa-san said as I trailed off. "To be honest, I don't know about that. Miss Mitamura always kept a certain distance between us, and didn't fully trust me. She must have thought that if I'd learned the truth, I would abandon her, like everyone else who looked up to her would."
"Well, have you?" I said.
Iwasawa-san shook her head.
"No," Iwasawa-san said. "I know what she did was wrong, and she may not truly have been the person I thought she was. Still, I saw her as a role model- an accomplished student, a well-mannered young lady and the most respectable sort of young woman in the city- and still aspire to be the person she wanted to be seen as."
I sighed. I could tell that Iwasawa-san felt out of place in modern society, not to mention far behind the curve in many ways, so it was understandable that she'd want to emulate someone who'd seemingly had everything figured out.
"To be blunt, that may be the problem," I said. "Mitamura-san was desperately trying to be perfect- to be someone she wasn't- which was why she couldn't accept failing or showing vulnerability. I understand that you want to fit in, but you shouldn't go that far."
"Fair enough, Miss Miura," Iwawsawa-san said, "but at the same time, I think people can change. Miss Mitamura wasn't perfect, and she probably never could be, but she wanted to get as close to there as she could. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to better yourself."
"No, there isn't," I said. "Still, I don't think that changing necessarily means that you have to give up what makes you the person you are. You'll probably always be better at working in the fields than working on a computer, more comfortable wearing overalls than wearing a suit, and happier in a farming village than a big city- and that's perfectly fine. It's good that you want to broaden your horizons, but you shouldn't feel as though you have to be someone else."
"Thank you, Miss Miura," Iwasawa-san said with a smile. "Of course, it isn't just about fitting in. Even if Miss Mitamura's motives were selfish, she still helped me and tried to serve as a leader for everyone else. I want to be the sort of person who others can rely on."
I paused to think for a moment. I was tempted to point out that Iwasawa-san already did our cooking, but she clearly wasn't satisfied with only doing that much. She probably did quite a few chores back at home, so I'd have to find some other way for her to help.
"Why not start by taking out the trash?" I said. "That used to be Mitamura-san's job, after all. The incinerator should be fairly easy to operate."
"Oh, that's a nice idea," Iwasawa-san said, "but where would we get the key?"
I put my hand to my forehead, as I realized that we'd forgotten all about it. Mitamura-san probably had the key in the pocket of her uniform's skirt, which she'd been wearing at the time of her execution. Luckily, though, an all too familiar voice interrupted my train of thought.
"Right here!" Monokuma said, appearing before us. "After Mitamura-san's untimely passing, I took the liberty of repossessing her key. If you'd like the job, Iwasawa-san, the key is yours."
"Thank you, sir!" Iwasawa-san said, taking the key from Monokuma.
"Good," Monokuma said. "I'd hate to see this place become a pigsty just because there's no one around to take out the trash. By keeping the school clean, you can all focus on the killing game!"
I rolled my eyes. Monokuma apparently had a one-track mind when it come to the killing game, which would be almost laughable if he wasn't reveling in our death and suffering.
"By the way, ladies, I've got a request," Monokuma said. "Once everyone's together, let them know that the third floor's now open. I'll see you two later!"
Monokuma disappeared once again.
"Well, I've got to be going," Iwasawa-san said. "I have to get started on breakfast, and after we explore the next floor, I'll take out the trash."
With a nod and a "Thank you," I let Iwasawa-san get to work. While we mourned the departed in our own ways, all of us recognized that we still had work to do, so having an outlet for our energy helped us avoid wallowing in grief and despair.
I entered the dining hall and found Akasaka-san sitting by herself at one of the small tables. With Iwasawa-san busy in the kitchen and no one else around, she immediately noticed and greeted me.
"Good morning, Miura-san," Akasaka-san said.
"Good morning, Akasaka-san," I said, as I sat down across from her. "You're here early."
Akasaka-san nodded, and yawned sleepily.
"I couldn't get much sleep last night," Akasaka-san said, "since I was thinking about the previous trial all night, wondering how the murder could have been prevented. Perhaps Mitamura-san should have learned how to fail."
I paused, taken aback somewhat. I had to admit that at the moment, I had a few ideas- if I hadn't mentioned Monokuma's rule about giving unread notepads to someone else, if Iwasawa-san hadn't asked Mitamura-san to fix her notepad, or if Mizuhara-kun hadn't shown Mitamura-san his information- but they mostly dealt with the events leading up to the murder, and were mainly only obvious in hindsight.
"What do you mean by that?" I said.
"She was obsessed with perfection, and had been desperate to cover up her mistakes so her perfect image would remain unsullied," Akasaka-san said. "Instead, she should have seen each mistake and defeat as an opportunity to learn a lesson and improve. Perhaps if she'd learned that failing a test wasn't the end of the world, she would never have thought to cheat."
"Ah, I see what you mean. You're speaking from experience, aren't you?"
Akasaka-san nodded.
"As a checkers player, I am not- and have never been- undefeated," Akasaka-san said. "As a student, I usually get decent grades, but have failed tests- whether because I struggled with the material, didn't study enough, or cracked under pressure. Each time, I learned a little about what I had trouble with, then worked a bit harder."
"I'm a bit surprised," I said. "I wouldn't expect an Ultimate to be so candid about her struggles."
"We're only human, Miura-san," Akasaka-san said. "I can't speak for academics, but you're probably smarter than I am, considering how well you perform at the class trial."
"I happened to be at the right place at the right time on a few occasions," I said. "I'd say that's at least partly a matter of luck."
"Perhaps," Akasaka-san said, "but you have a knack for putting all the pieces together, perhaps one that surpasses Edogawa-san's skill. After all, you found out how Mitamura-san learned of her own weakness."
I was left at a loss for words. I'd always thought of Edogawa-san as the best of us at solving murder mysteries, especially since she had been the one who'd obtained the Epi-pen that had proved that Mizuhara-kun had been allergic to peanuts.
"I suppose you have a point," I said. "That said, I'm still not happy about this outcome, so I can't be proud of the role I played in it."
"That's understandable," Akasaka-san said, "but in the end, all of us chose to vote for Mitamura-san, knowing what it meant- she would die so the rest of us would live- so we share the responsibility for her death. As much as it pained me to vote to sentence the blackened to death, I did so both times."
"True," I said. "Still, if Monokuma only requires a majority vote, then wouldn't it be possible for some of us to vote for someone else, and thus avoid playing any role in the conviction?"
"Maybe," Akasaka-san said, "but that would be nothing more than a cowardly abdication of responsibility that would endanger the rest of us. I don't believe Sakuragi-kun or Mitamura-san deserved to die, but neither do the rest of us. If there's a third murder, I will stand with you once again and do what I must."
As I remembered how Akasaka-san had wept inconsolably after the first execution, I realized that I wasn't the only one who'd changed. As kind-hearted as she was, Akasaka-san also had to accept what the killing game asked of us, and what we had to do to stay alive. Just like the res of us, she knew she was alive because we'd sacrificed Sakuragi-kun and Mitamura-san, but while she wasn't happy about it, she knew she'd do so again if necessary.
"Thank you, Akasaka-san," I said. "I'll be counting on you."
As we spoke, people began heading into the dining hall, and taking their seats, filling up my table and the large table, and leaving the other small table empty. Iwasawa-san then stepped out of the kitchen and greeted us.
"Good, everyone's here," Iwasawa-san said. "I'll serve breakfast in a few minutes."
"Go right ahead," Hoshino-kun said, "but be sure to taste it first. We wouldn't want anyone to get poisoned, now, would we?"
Apparently thinking his barb wasn't obvious enough, Hoshino-kun shot a glance across the table, in Sugiura-san's direction.
"Very funny, Hoshino," Sugiura-san said. "Your knack for subtlety is on par with your sense of tact."
"Forgive me for being a little on edge after learning that one of my classmates is a murderer," Hoshino-kun said, "since in a situation in which anyone can kill, you can't afford to let your guard down around the one who already did."
"You could have fooled me," Sugiura-san said. "You're clearly not afraid to antagonize this so-called murderer."
"So-called?" Hoshino-kun said mockingly. "I'm just calling it like I see it."
I slammed my fist on the table and stood up. As rude as it was to make a scene or interrupt people, I needed to steer this argument into a more constructive direction. The last thing we needed was a feud escalating to the point at which the two people involved tried to murder each other.
"Enough!" I said. "Sugiura-san, Hoshino-kun is not wrong to be concerned for his life. Hoshino-kun, Sugiura-san was not the one who killed Mizuhara-kun. Both of you- you'll need to at least get along."
"Who died and made you our leader, Miura?" Hoshino-kun said. "Besides Mitamura, that is? "
"I'm not trying to take her place," I said. "I'm just saying that considering the circumstances, we can't afford to let petty quarrels spiral out of control."
Hoshino-kun gave me a withering glare, apparently refusing to dignify that point with a response.
"Nice speech, Miura," Sugiura-san said, "but if Hoshino won't apologize, neither will I."
The two adversaries glared at each other for a moment, and the rest of the room watched them in silence, anxiously waiting to see if they'd come to blows. Considering that Hoshino-kun didn't care much for commonly held standards of manners and decorum, he most likely had no qualms with hitting a girl. As for Sugiura-san, while I didn't think she was the violent type, I had to admit that I didn't really know her very well.
Despite that, neither side chose to escalate this debate, and Hoshino-kun simply shook his head and stood up.
"I'm out of here," Hoshino-kun said. "Iwasawa, bring my breakfast to my room- just remember that if I drop dead, the others will know you're the blackened."
Hoshino-kun stormed off, and a moment of uncomfortable silence ensued. As much as I wanted to believe that Hoshino-kun was the only one who suspected Sugiura-san, I saw some of the others glancing over at her suspiciously. Sensei, while one of the more rational ones, knew that the file she'd read on the fourth day hadn't been fabricated, and the story of the "Ultimate Poisoner" was probably true.
"I'm sorry," I said as I sat down again. "I'm clearly not much of a mediator, am I?"
"Maybe not," Sugiura-san said, "but it's frankly unrealistic to expect that asshole to listen to you any more than he listened to Mitamura."
Tezuka-kun rolled his eyes at Sugiura-san, but it was clear that no one disagreed with her.
"Still, Miss Miura, I actually appreciate that you tried," Iwasawa-san said. "In fact, I think it's what we need."
"What do you mean?" I said.
"Miss Mitamura initially believed she had to be a flawless leader who could prevent us from murdering one another," Iwasawa-san said, "something that, while ideal, isn't practical. Instead, we need someone to guide us, and come up with ideas we can agree on as a group, and I think you might be that person."
I looked around, and saw that everyone was looking at me expectantly. I then remembered how Mitamura-san had become leader- she'd been the first to try to get us to work together. For all her flaws, I could respect her belief in working together, and her volunteering to be that person.
"All right," I said. "I don't know if I'm the best for that role, but I'll do what I can. Who here agrees with Iwasawa-san?"
Sensei immediately raised her hand, and Iwasawa-san did a second later. Before long, the other eight students, even Sugiura-san, followed suit, and I realized that the people had spoken.
"Thank you," I said. "As leader, my first suggestion is that all decisions be settled by voting. Ideally, everyone should agree to a decision, or at least most of us- I would rather not have seven people force the remaining five to do what they don't want."
"How about a two thirds majority?" Katsura-san said. "That way, if there's a significant dissenting faction, we can rethink any plan before we actually do it.
"That might work," I said. "For our first vote, now that the third floor has opened up, I'd like to ask- who's in favor of exploring it?"
Everyone said "Aye," whether out of an honest belief that exploring the new floor was the best course of action, or going along with the group. If nothing else, we were on the same page for the moment, and knew what we had to do next, so I appreciated this fleeting sense of unity and clarity of purpose.
Iwasawa-san served breakfast to all of us, dropping Hoshino-kun's meal off at his room. Once we were done, the eleven of us in the dining hall set out to explore the new floor. On the way over, we passed by the nurse's office, and saw that Monokuma had once again done his work- even if he'd only needed to remove Mizuhara-kun's body and make the bed. Once again, it was as though the murder victim had never been there at all.
Since I obviously had no reason to visit the boys' bathroom once Kurogane-kun's trial had finished, this was the first time I'd seen a murder victim's body being removed, and I was a bit amazed at how thoroughly Monokuma had done his job. A decomposing body would almost certainly be a health hazard, so I was glad it was out of the way, even if it was depressing that this school would be Mizuhara-kun's final resting place... as well as ours, if we weren't able to escape.
Once again, reaching the next floor was as simple as making our way to the stairway that had been blocked off before. That said, while it was easy to find, it didn't seem like any reasonably designed building, which should have at least one staircase that connected the top floor, the bottom floor and all the ones in between.
"So how will we go about investigating this floor, Miss Miura?" Iwasawa-san said.
"The same way as last time," I said. "Split up, look around and meet in the dining room at noon. Let me know about anything of importance that you find. Is that fine with everyone?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Iwasawa-san said.
I blushed. My parents had been particular about teaching their children manners, so I was used to calling people "sir" and "ma'am"... but not to being called that myself.
"You don't have to call me that, Iwasawa-san," I said. "Just treat me like you always do, OK?"
"I will, Miss Miura," Iwasawa-san said. "Well, then, I'll be off."
As Iwasawa-san and the others fanned out to investigate the third floor, I smiled. There were many reasons for me to not emulate Mitamura-san, not the least of which was because I could never replace her in Iwasawa-san's eyes. The group needed a different sort of leader, and Iwasawa-san needed a different sort of role model, so it was up to me to do the best I could, my own way.
After walking the halls for a few minutes so that I could get a feel for the layout, my first stop was a large indoor pool. There were several things people might think of when they saw a large body of water, but the possibility of someone drowning- accidentally or otherwise- was what first came to my mind. As such, I made a mental note to officially ask for a ban on swimming, at least without a lifeguard present.
I then saw the locker rooms, protected by a handbook reader lock... and ceiling-mounted a Gatling gun. As if on cue, Monokuma then appeared.
"Ah, Miura-san," Monokuma said. "I see you've found the locker rooms."
"Perfect timing, Monokuma," I said. "I've got a few questions about the security. First, I take it you use your handbook to get in?"
"That's right!" Monokuma said. "Your handbook gets you into the side that corresponds to your gender, and you can only get into that side. If you try to sneak into the other, the gun on the ceiling will turn you into Swiss cheese, so please don't try it."
"How nice of you to warn us," I said, my voice dripping sarcasm.
"Think of it this way," Monokuma said. "It's no fun if any of you buy the farm in such an idiotic way. My goal's to get you to kill each other, y'know?"
I nodded. For a moment, I wondered if perhaps we could put an end to Monokuma's fun with a mass suicide pact, but thought better of it. We all had our reasons to want to escape, even if they didn't justify graduating, so no one was willing to simply give up and die like that. Perhaps some people would be selfish enough to kill others in order to survive and escape, but for the most part, I saw our collective will to live as a fundamentally good thing.
"Yes, I should think that would be obvious by now," I said, "but that's a fairly extreme way of keeping people out of the other gender's locker rooms."
"Hey, don't blame me," Monokuma said. "The handbook system wasn't my idea- only the Gatling gun. Now, if you'll excuse me..."
Monokuma then vanished. With a sigh, I used my handbook on the girls' locker room's reader, and stepped inside. Inside the girls' locker room, I saw Edogawa-san, looking around the room. There was a set of weights, some lockers, and a poster of the Ultimate Pop Sensation in a swimsuit.
"Hello, Miura-san," Edogawa-san said. "I take it you also noticed the security measures outside?"
"I did," I said. "Don't you think they're a little... excessive?"
Edogawa-san nodded.
"Inoue-kun told me that he'd heard one boy was expelled from our old school for sneaking into the girls' locker room," Edogawa-san said. "Some people thought even that punishment was too harsh."
"True," I said. "Besides, what about transgender people, or people questioning their gender identity?"
"Good question," Edogawa-san said. "One of Inoue-kun's old friends, a transgender girl, had no shortage of awkwardness when trying to explain why she was using girls' bathrooms and locker rooms... and that was one of her more minor problems."
My gaze fell on the poster. By the time I was once again aware of Edogawa-san's presence in the same room, she'd noticed me looking at that.
"Now that's something you don't see in your average girls' locker room," Edogawa-san said. "Even if my female schoolmates were allowed to put up something like that, they'd probably choose to put up one of a boy band or something of the sort."
"True," I said. "Maybe even Mitamura-san might have done that."
Edogawa-san giggled.
"I think so, too," Edogawa-san said. "There's no shame in indulging in relatively harmless vices as long as you're honest with yourself about it."
I nodded in agreement. While most of us had a good sense of what was right and wrong, there was a difference between not doing something because it was wrong, and not doing so because people wouldn't approve of it. Perhaps the latter was a valid concern, but it was often a fairly self-serving one, which may have been why Mitamura-san had been willing to go so far in order to keep her wrongdoing secret.
After a little while, I said goodbye to Edogawa-san, promising that whatever happened in this room stayed in this room. A part of me was still worried what people would think, but even if that fear was still with me, I didn't feel it around Edogawa-san. I didn't know why that was the case, only that I was grateful to her.
After emerging from the locker room, I was about to leave when I saw Fukuda-kun exit the boys' locker room.
"Oh, hi, Fukuda-kun," I said. "Did you check out the boys' locker room?"
"Yeah," Fukuda-kun said. "It's nothing to write home about. It's nice that it has weights, though."
If the boys' locker room was the same as the girls' equivalent, then Fukuda-kun had a point. The equipment was surprisingly basic for an incredibly prestigious high school, with equipment that looked like it was from the 20th century. Maybe first impressions weren't everything, but it did make me wonder how the school could field a winning sports team.
"You don't sound completely happy," I said.
"Well, I need a spotter in order to do weightlifting," Fukuda-kun said, "but ever since Sakuragi died, there aren't any other guys who are into fitness. Katsura actually told me she does a little weightlifting, but she can't go inside the boys' locker room, and she's not qualified to act as a sponsor."
"That's unfortunate," I said. "I'm sorry to say this, but I'd rather not have anyone swimming or lifting weights without at least semi-qualified supervision."
"Fair enough," Fukuda-kun said. "It's kind of a shame that none of the other boys are interested in that sort of thing."
I nodded. One unfortunate part about being put into a class with fifteen highly specialized Ultimates in very different areas was that few of us had shared interests. Perhaps it forced us to interact with people who had little in common with us, but it also made planning group outings difficult.
"Speaking of genders, it's a bit weird that someone put up a picture of a boy band there," Fukuda-kun said. "My little sister Futaba's into that sort of thing."
"You have siblings?" I said.
"Yeah, three of them. Futaba's my younger sister, and she's in her third year of middle school- at least back when I got here. Santa's my younger brother, and he's in fifth grade. Yoshi, our youngest brother, is in second grade."
"Ah. I'm the younger of two sisters- my older sister just started college. What's it like being the older one?"
Fukuda-kun shrugged.
"You know, I actually talked with Akasaka about this before," Fukuda-kun said. "She's pretty mature and definitely fits the big sister role, but I don't know if I do so as well. Futaba's really smart for her age, almost enough to tutor me."
"That's pretty impressive," I said.
"It gives me perspective," Fukuda-kun said. "A lot of people say I should protect her because I'm older, or because I'm a boy, but while I'd do just about anything to keep my siblings safe, I have to admit Futaba's probably better at looking after herself than I am. Of course, I'm glad I'm the one stuck in here, not her."
"I agree," I said. "I don't know what reason our siblings would have to be here, but I'm glad my sister is safe... or at least I think she is."
Fukuda-kun looked at me inquisitively, and it wasn't hard to see why. A lot could happen in two years, so we had no idea what was going on outside, or whether our families were even safe.
"Something wrong?" Fukuda-kun said.
"This is just a thought," I said, "but what if this isn't the only killing game that's going on? After all, if this happened before, might it be happening elsewhere?"
"That'd be a pretty disturbing thought," Fukuda-kun said. "Apparently, Futaba and Akasaka's younger sister go to the same all-girls middle school, so maybe some sick bastard like Monokuma set up a killing game there, too."
"That's possible," I said. "I still don't understand why Monokuma chose us for this killing game, or who would willingly go along with him."
"Yeah," Hoshino-kun said. "I don't want to believe that one of us is the mastermind, but if we want to get out of here, we'll have to find out who they are, won't we?"
I nodded. While I'd sworn to do what I could to keep everyone safe, I knew that there were those who would undermine my efforts, and one person who wanted the killing game to continue at all costs. The idea of being betrayed by one of the people I'd come to consider my friends was a bitter pill to swallow, and while I knew I'd have to find the mastermind sooner or later, I still had no idea where to start.
I found a room that looked like the faculty office. I did a cursory investigation of the room, but wasn't able to find anything useful. There were a few interoffice memos laying about, years out of date, but nothing that would give any indication on why we were here.
As I was searching, I noticed Hoshino-kun walk in. He hadn't come with us, so I was a bit surprised to see him.
"Miura," Hoshino-kun said brusquely.
"Oh, Hoshino-kun," I said. "It looks like you heard about our expedition to the third floor."
"Yeah, Iwasawa told me that," Hoshino-kun said, "along with the fact that apparently, you're our new leader. If you'd like me to apologize for not being comfortable with having a killer around, then forget it."
"I wasn't asking for it," I said. "I just hope Iwasawa-san told you that from now on, we'll be deciding things via two thirds majority, so your participation would be appreciated."
"But you're still the one in charge, right?" Hoshino-kun said.
"Not exactly," I said. "Rather than telling everyone what to do, I hope to guide everyone so that we can come to a decision together. I know you and Mitamura-san didn't get along, but I would appreciate your support"
Hoshino-kun paused.
"You know, even if I gave Mitamura a lot of crap back when she was still alive, I didn't actually dislike her that much," Hoshino-kun said. "I just didn't buy into her pretending to be a perfect honor student or believing that she knew exactly what to do the same way everyone else did. In the end, she isn't much better than the rest of those looking for a way out, and neither are you."
"I don't claim to be," I said. "I know that all of us want to escape this school, to return to our normal lives, to see our families and friends again. That's why I'm trying to help as many of us get out of here as possible."
"You actually seem like you mean it," Hoshino-kun said. "But do you have any ideas on how to get out of here? Or any way to ensure that someone doesn't kill in order to save their own hide?"
"No, I don't," I said. "I know that it won't be easy to escape, and it's very likely that another murder will happen before we do, but I want to do everything I can to ensure that everyone who's still alive can escape here."
Hoshino-kun chuckled bitterly.
"You're honest, I'll give you that," Hoshino-kun said. "If anything, you do seem to realize that the killing game won't be solved by telling everyone not to kill each other. Of course, Mitamura and Sakuragi probably knew that, too."
Hoshino-kun walked off, ending the conversation on an unsettling note. I knew full well that the prospect of finding an escape route was not a very realistic one, but also that once people gave up on that, they'd likely begin plotting murder. Perhaps Hoshino-kun saw me as naive, but I believed that as long as we worked together as a group, we'd give the others something to hope for, and a reason to think of others besides themselves.
The next room I investigated looked like a science lab. There were various lab stations around the room equipped with sinks, Bunsen burners and other supplies. Sugiura-san was investigating a cabinet full of chemicals, which didn't even seem to be locked.
"What do you want, Miura?" Sugiura-san said.
If I'd slept through the entire class trial and the argument at breakfast, I might have assumed that Sugiura-san had been replaced by her twin sister. Her voice was the same, but with a blunt and brusque tone, she seemed almost like a different person.
"Not much, Sugiura-san," I said. "I just wanted to check up on you, and see how you're doing."
"There isn't much to report," Sugiura-san said. "There's a lot of chemicals in here, but all I know about them is that they're probably not things you want to drink. I wish we had someone who was good at science."
I was tempted to ask Sugiura-san if she thought any of them were poisonous, but thought better of it.
"Anyway, is something on your mind?" I said.
"I've been thinking about the last trial," Sugiura-san said. "I can't forgive Mitamura for what she did, but I can understand her a bit more."
"How so?" I said.
"She's like me, following the rules and practicing good manners just to fit in- she wanted to keep her status as an honor student, and I wanted to keep my job. Of course, even if my concerns are more practical than hers, we're both just faking it, so I can't judge her for that."
"I don't think of it that way. My parents are naturally well-mannered, but while they're happily married, they keep things strictly professional at work. To them, it's not about lying or fitting in, but simply a matter of respect to one another, and commitment to their company."
Sugiura-san scoffed slightly.
"If you say so," Sugiura-san said. "You and your folks actually sound like you believe in that stuff, I'll give you that. As for me, it kind of makes me gag a little inside every time I have to put on the act of being super polite, so I hope you're not too disappointed."
"I'm not," I said. "I've always been taught to think of good manners as a gift you give to others, more than something you owe others or are owed yourself. Besides, I get the feeling that I'm starting to actually get to know you now, which is a good thing."
"I appreciate it, Miura," Sugiura-san said. "I dropped the act around everyone else because I didn't see the point, but it actually feels like I can be myself around you.
I smiled and nodded, then continued looking around. Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be anything that could be used as an improvised explosive to break through the walls, or an acid to eat through the front door, so I had to conclude that this room was mostly useless.
"Well, this was a bust," Sugiura-san said. "I'll take a look around the rest of the floor, but don't get your hopes up, okay?"
Sugiura-san started to walk off.
"One more thing, Sugiura-san," I said, stopping her in her tracks. "Is what they say about you being the Ultimate Poisoner actually true?"
"Does my answer matter?" Sugiura-san said.
"It does to me," I said.
Sugiura-san sighed and shook her head.
"Speak for yourself," Sugiura-san said. "Hardly anyone would believe me if I said no- you saw how everyone looks at me with suspicion since the end of the last trial. There's nothing more pathetic than someone desperately proclaiming their innocence, after all, since both the innocent and the guilty do it."
"But you didn't kill Mizuhara-kun," I said, "and with your help, we were able to find his killer's identity."
"Because we had proof," Sugiura-san said. "There's nothing proving I'm not the poisoner, so I'll just have to live with that reputation."
I stood silently for a moment, until Sugiura-san excused herself. Most courts operated under the principle of "innocent until proven guilty," but the court of public opinion was an exception, and its convictions were nearly impossible to overturn. If word got out about what had supposedly happened in the past, Sugiura-san could potentially be ostracized, or even arrested as a suspect in the murder, a sobering thought that made me wonder what was in store for us in the future.
I found Yuuki-san sitting in a classroom.
"Oh, hi, Kaori-chan," Yuuki-san said. "Before you ask, this looks like just another classroom, one that hasn't been used in ages, so I couldn't find anything in it."
"How's everyone else doing?" I said.
Yuuki-san looked a bit sad.
"I talked to a couple other people," Yuuki-san said, "and apart from the new floor, almost everyone has Reiko-chan on their minds. It's good that they feel at least a little sorry for her, but..."
"You think they should save a little of that for Mizuhara-kun?" I said.
"Him, too," Yuuki-san said, "and also Shiro-kun and Akito-kun. It hasn't been that long since they died, but hardly anyone talks about them. Are we just going to forget Reiko-chan and Minato-kun after the next murder?"
I shook my head. Even if the first two deaths were "old news," that didn't mean that no one ever thought about them. Fukuda-kun had just recently mentioned Sakuragi-kun, after all, and I still couldn't help but wish Kurogane-kun and I could have made up before his death.
"That's just how things are," I said. "After a mourning period, things ultimately go back to normal. When I die, I think I'd rest easy knowing that the people close to me can go on with their lives."
"I guess," Yuuki-san said. "You can't stay sad forever, but I don't think you ever completely get over losing someone you care about."
I nodded. Even in the best-case scenario, in which we got out with the twelve of us still alive, someone would have to break the bad news to the Kurogane, Sakuragi, Mizuhara and Mitamura families. The news that their children were dead- or, in two cases, had committed murder- would break their hearts, and there wasn't much that could be done to lessen the blow.
"That's true," I said, "but I still think it's possible to get a sense of closure. Perhaps once we get out of here, funerals can be held for those who died."
"Good idea," Yuuki-san said. "I might've been to a funeral before, but I don't know the first thing about organizing one. Besides, I don't have any clothes."
"What about the uniform Mitamura-san lent you?"
"Ah, good point. They told me it was perfectly fine to wear my uniform- which is a bit like yours- to the funeral, and I didn't get why. Maybe because it's like wearing a suit and tie, and you can't go wrong with that."
I ended up getting distracted for a few minutes as I talked with Yuuki-san about her uniform- apparently, she didn't get why women didn't wear ties with their suits, even if she found tying a necktie to be "a pain"- but found those minutes well-spent. For a moment, Yuuki-san forgot about her grief, her fear and her pain, and was able to go back to her usual self- a carefree and childlike individual who could be surprisingly insightful at times, who did not deserve to be trapped in here. There would be no shortage of time to find a way out, but it was always nice to be reminded of one of my twelve major reasons to want to escape.
My next stop was the gallery, which looked like a small museum. Portraits and other paintings were hung on the wall, while there were glass display cases that showed trophies and other things, as well as one in the center of the room, the latter of which was empty. Some Ultimates' talents could easily be put on display, so this was clearly a room for the products of their work.
Inside the room, I saw Tezuka-kun, who was busy looking at a portrait on the wall.
"Hello, Tezuka-kun," I said.
"Hey, there, Miura," Tezuka-kun said. "I don't suppose you have any idea how to get that thing open?"
Tezuka-kun pointed to the display case. Taking a closer look, I saw that there was a handbook reader.
"I'm guessing you swipe your handbook," I said, "since the vending machine on the previous floor had a similar reader."
"Gotcha," Tezuka-kun said. "Well, I suppose it's pointless, anyway, since there's nothing inside."
I had to wonder whether Monokuma- or even the school administration- would put something like that there without any use for it. Edogawa-san often made note of the literary device known as "Chekhov's Gun," a seemingly unimportant element that becomes important later.
"Anyway, that isn't important," Tezuka-kun said. "Check this out."
Tezuka-kun pointed at a painting that was on the wall to the left of the door, showing three-dimensional shadows walking down a street while the two-dimensional images of the actual people were cast on the pavement, a reversal of roles between person and shadow. What was drawn on that canvas, however, was less important than the plaque with the artist's name- Yusuke Tezuka.
"So you drew this, Tezuka-kun?" I said.
"Supposedly," Tezuka-kun said. "Sure, I've produced a lot of art, but I'm pretty sure I remember every piece that's good enough to put on display. This piece is pretty damn good, so I'm sure I'd remember making this."
"Maybe it's from the two years in which your memories were lost," I said. "Edogawa-san published at least one book during that time."
"Could be," Tezuka-kun said. "Speaking of stuff from that time, there's also a portrait of all of us in here."
Tezuka-kun pointed to a framed photo on the opposite side of the wall. It was the sixteen of us in our class, formed into two orderly rows of eight- some of the shorter students were seated in front, while the taller ones were standing in the rear. All of us were clad in light gray blazer-style uniforms with red neckties. It was a bit of an adjustment seeing Yuuki-san and Iwasawa-san dressed a bit more nicely than usual, but the look fit them well. The sun shone in from outside the school, and the date on the blackboard was from late April of our first year at the school.
"So that's another relic from our time at this school together," I said, "and, assuming it's real, more proof that we went to the same school."
"What if it isn't?" Tezuka-kun said.
"Then I suppose it doesn't prove anything," I said, "and in a worst-case scenario, I may have to start over when it comes to finding out why we were brought here. Still, even if Monokuma's hardly trustworthy, everything we've learned so far lines up with us being students here. The only question is why he'd erase our memories."
Tezuka-kun shrugged, and I let him get back to his investigation for now, after taking a picture of the class portrait for future reference. The idea of two years of our lives being stolen from us was a disturbing one, as was the idea that we'd forgotten something very important. As difficult as it was to accept, though, it was another piece of the puzzle that could potentially lead us to the truth behind our situation.
I found Katsura-san sitting by herself in the other classroom on this floor. Since all these classrooms looked identical, I had to check the door plate outside to confirm that it wasn't the classroom where I'd found Yuuki-san.
"Ah, there you are, Katsura-san," I said. "Have you found anything of interest?"
"Not exactly, Miura-san," Katsura-san said. "It looks identical to the other classroom on this floor, and the others we've found on the second and first floors."
"I guess that makes sense," I said, "but I have to wonder how the grades are divided. At my old school, each year had its own floor. The first-years were on the ground floor, the second-years were on the middle and the third-years were on the top."
"That's fairly common," Katsura-san said. "I went to an academy with middle and high school divisions- they were in separate buildings, and even had separate uniforms, though."
I briefly pictured the idea of Katsura-san's old school being in one large six-story building, or perhaps a twelve story one if one counted elementary school, and pitied the poor souls who had class on the top floor.
"I'm curious about one thing, Miura-san," Katsura-san said. "If you were a judge, what sentence would you have given Mitamura-san?"
I paused, not sure of how to answer this. Katsura-san had probably chosen Mitamura-san since she wasn't solely motivated by the desire to graduate, and there was a chance she'd have committed murder for similar reasons outside the killing game.
"I'm not an expert on the law," I said, "but while Mitamura-san was guilty of premeditated murder, I would have shown her some leniency considering that she was a minor and she showed remorse after being exposed. She seems like she could potentially have been rehabilitated, so I would have given her that chance."
"I agree," Katsura-san said. "Successful rehabilitation is best for all concerned, as there's little better than turning criminals into productive members of society."
I nodded in agreement, even as I realized that Katsura-san wasn't finished making her point.
"However,' Katsura-san continued, "it doesn't always work out so smoothly, and some people may not be willing to change. Because of that, if I knew that Mitamura-san would end up killing again if she were released, I would have sentenced her to life imprisonment... or even execution, if she'd qualified for the death penalty."
I was speechless for a moment. After witnessing two people killed in a rather brutal and horrific manner before our eyes, I had to wonder who would be willing to subject anyone else- even a murder- to a similar fate. Monokuma's executions were clearly for his perverse enjoyment, not for anything resembling justice, but I had recently started questioning whether our relatively civilized version of the death penalty was truly just.
"Of course, I'm no longer so sure of this," Katsura-san said. "Having gotten to know Mitamura-san, seen her remorse, and witnessed her horrific fate, I would have hesitated to sentence her to death if I were a judge, even if it was the legally or morally 'right' thing to do. Because of that, I know I'm not suited for those kinds of decisions."
"I don't think anyone here is," I said. "If Sakuragi-kun or Mitamura-san were put on trial, none of us would be allowed on the jury, since we're acquainted with them. Personal character aside, I don't think Mitamura-san should have been tasked with the weighty responsibility of leading us. I know I couldn't handle it."
"Maybe not," Katsura-san said. "Still, Miura-san, by sharing the burden of making decisions and ceding some of your power, you make your task more manageable. Please let me know if you need help with anything."
I nodded, then let Katsura-san get back to her investigation. People often said that power corrupted, but I believed that having sole unchecked authority over something as large as a nation or as small as a village was too much for one person to handle. Trying to ensure the survival of a dozen students, myself included, was the most difficult task I had ever undertaken, but while I couldn't trust everyone, I knew everyone had a similar interest, and was glad I could count on some people.
I proceeded to the end of the hallway and found another set of stairs up, once again blocked off by a shutter I couldn't open. Having searched the entire floor, I called everyone together and brought them to the dining hall.
"So we basically found a lot of stuff that'd fit in a school, but nothing we could use to get out," Yuuki-san said.
I nodded.
"Tezuka-kun and I found something interesting in the gallery," I said, "namely, a photo of the sixteen of us together, as a class, all wearing our school uniforms. If it is genuine, it could be the first physical proof that we all actually attended this school."
"Do you think that picture could be photoshopped?" Inoue-kun said.
"I'll admit that's possible," I said, "but we also found a picture that Tezuka-kun painted while at the school, as well as some of Edogawa-san's books. Neither of them remembers producing those works, so it's possible our memories were altered"
"How exactly does photo editing work?" Iwasawa-san said.
"It's a program with many functions," Edogawa-san said, "most of which involve cropping or improving the quality of an existing photo. In this case, Inoue-kun's suggesting that they could have taken another photo of you and photoshopped your face onto another girl's body."
"So the girl in that picture isn't really Momo-chan?" Yuuki-san said. "I didn't think there were that many girls out there who're as big or strong as she is."
"Besides, where would they get that other photo of me?" Iwasawa-san said. "No one outside of my village has ever taken my picture."
"Good question," Kagami-kun said. "Maybe it's from your student ID photo, but that would probably have been taken while you were already at the school. In any case, this seems to confirm that we were actually students here once."
"True," Iwasawa-san said. "Maybe it's just me, but I feel as though I don't know much about Talent High School. When I got recruited, I only heard the talent scout's description of the school, and various rumors about the place."
"It's not just you, Iwasawa-san," I said. "There's a lot of things about any given school that only those who attend, teach, or work at it would know, and some closely guarded secrets to which only a select few are privy. With our memories wiped, we may as well be outsiders, and I'm sure the mastermind wants it that way."
The conversation ground to a halt. While we were more or less certain of what we knew so far, we didn't know why the mastermind had erased our memories, let alone who that person was. I knew the mastermind was in this room, but had nothing to conclusively determine their identity.
"Anyway," Yuuki-san said, "I've got suggestion. Why don't we girls take a bath together before dinner?"
"That would be nice," I said. "Who else wants to come?"
All the girls chimed in.
"All right," I said. "Then we'll take a bath together in the early evening. If any of the boys are interested, they can take theirs just after we're done."
"Ladies first, huh?" Hoshino-kun said.
"Think of it this way, Mr. Hoshino," Iwasawa-san said. "While you and the other boys are in the bath, I'll be busy making you all dinner, so you'll have that to look forward to when you get out."
I returned to my room to retrieve the Monocoins, then stopped by the warehouse to get a duffel bag to hold any prizes I got from the Monomono Machine.
On the way over, I saw Katsura-san and Akasaka-san playing another game of checkers in the rec room.
"Ah, hello, Miura-san," Akasaka-san said. "Would you like to play with either of us once I'm finished with Komaki-chan?"
I shook my head.
"I'm just passing through," I said, "on the way to the school store, a- Did you just call her by her first name?"
Akasaka-san nodded.
"Kuro-chan asked me for permission," Katsura-san said, "joking that it might get confusing to use surnames with all our siblings around. One of her old teachers noted that he had an 'Akasaka-san' in his class every few years, except for her brother, who was 'Akasaka-kun' to him."
"That's about right," Akasaka-san said. "I'm used to being called by my first name, so if you want to do so, all you have to do is ask nicely."
I suspected that Akasaka-san was dropping a hint for me, asking me to do something I wasn't ready for just yet. Still, while it was too soon to say yes, I didn't want to say no, either.
"I'll keep that in mind, Akasaka-san," I said. "I'm just surprised that you're on a first-name basis already."
Katsura-san chuckled.
"I haven't heard of any rule that dictates that you have to know someone for a certain period of time to do that," Katsura-san said. "In fact, in here, if you wait, you might not get another rchance."
"Quite true, Komaki-chan," Akasaka-san said. "Still, Miura-san, you shouldn't feel as though you have to rush into anything. It's fine to hesitate and take a moment to think things over, as long as you're not using that as an excuse to procrastinate. As for the difference... I suppose that's something only you will know."
Katsura-san nodded in agreement.
"I know," I said. "Thank you, both of you."
I said goodbye to the two for now, juggling two contradictory pieces of wisdom in my head, until I realized that the solution was simple. Even though Akasaka-san and Katsura-san knew that anyone, including each other, could die at any point, they refused to let that fact deter them from becoming friends. Perhaps there were many reasons for me to hesitate, but I had to separate the good reasons from the excuses, and not let the latter prevent me from doing what I needed to do.
I went to the school store, and found Edogawa-san and Yuuki-san chatting there. Like Akasaka-san and Katsura-san, they weren't willing to let the killing game drive a wedge between them or end their burgeoning friendship.
"Ah, hello, Miura-san," Edogawa-san said. "Did you get some more Monocoins?"
"I did," I said, "for my role in helping uncover Mitamura-san as the blackened. Monokuma's reasons for giving them aside, I'd argue that everyone deserves some."
"How about this?" Yuuki-san said. "You put the coins into the machine, and if you think anything would make a good present, you can give it to us."
"That sounds fair enough, Yuuki-san," Edogawa-san said. "In any case, Miura-san, the choice is yours."
"I think we have a deal," I said. "Well, then, I'll give this a go."
My first prize out of the machine was a Monokuma that was half green and looked more like a robot than Monokuma or the other two figurines did.
"Ooh, you got another one of those," Yuuki-san said. "How many do you have so far?"
"Three," I said. "In other words, I'll just need two more to complete the set."
"Go for it," Yuuki-san said. "Of course, I hope you can find more Monocoins without there needing to be another trial."
"I know," I said. "I've been looking for coins when I have time, but the only one I found was in the laundry room."
The next item I received was a large chalice with "Women's Passion" engraved on it. It was apparently made out of gold and had a few gems studded in it, but it didn't seem entirely real.
"What's this supposed to be?" I said. "And what am I supposed to do with it?"
"Maybe you could drink out of it," Yuuki-san said. "It's a cup, isn't it?"
I chuckled and shook my head.
"I'd rather not," I said. "Some of us would probably give me odd looks if I brought this cup to our meals."
"Fair enough," Edogawa-san said. "It's not as though your prize is very practical, after all."
I nodded, and suddenly started thinking about Edogawa-san. From the moment I met her, I'd always found her beautiful, and thought that her uniform suited her well- she'd mentioned in passing that she generally wore blouses, skirts and dresses on her days off, so she seemed like the sort who looked best while dressing nicely. I was interested in seeing her in casual clothing, and even more excited about the prospect of seeing her with her clothes off when we bathed together in a couple hours.
I suddenly glanced up at the chalice, and realized that I hadn't had these thoughts before I'd gotten it.
"Definitely not," I said, as I quickly stuffed my chalice into my bag.
I then took out the last of my Monocoins and put it in. I was a bit afraid of what would come out, but hoped I could complete the collection and give it to Yuuki-san.
Unfortunately, that wasn't to be this time, since I got another copy of the poster in the girls' locker room. Even without the chalice in my hands, I could barely contain my excitement- now I could look at this picture whenever I wanted, without having to steal it from the locker room.
Of course, even as the lust swirled within me, my sense of restraint and discipline awakened, along with the fear of what people would think if I found it in my room. The only apparent solution was to quickly distance myself from the source of these thoughts, and give the poster away.
"Oh, it looks like the poster from the locker room," I said. "Maybe you should have it, Edogawa-san."
Edogawa-san paused, then shook her head.
"I wouldn't feel right taking it, Miura-san," Edogawa-san said. "You seemed fairly happy to get it, so you should have it."
I nodded, said "Thank you," and did a quick bow in gratitude before leaving.
I returned to my room and pinned up the poster, after stopping by the warehouse to get some tacks. Luckily enough, no one saw me, even though it would have been simple enough to make up an excuse to go there.
I once again felt a bit uneasy, at least until I started asking myself why I felt that way. My parents would probably punish me if they found me with something like that, but I didn't know what they'd do- my best guess was that they'd simply confiscate the poster if it was only my first offense. After asking myself what was wrong with that, I realized that this was definitely a case of my being afraid of how my parents would react, rather than knowing it was wrong.
I thought back to some of the conversations I'd had in the last 24 hours or so, and realized I wasn't the only one who kept a part of themselves back. Mizuhara-kun had been hesitant to confide in others, afraid that his weakness would be exploited. Mitamura-san was afraid of being rejected, so she kept her façade of being an honor student up at any cost. Sugiura-san forced herself to be polite, hiding her cynical and brusque true personality. Each of them had something to lose, from their reputations to their lives, but what about me?
Normally, I would say "reputation," perhaps even "life" when it came to some of those more...vehemently opposed to homosexuality, but the truth was that apart from the recently deceased Mitamura-san, I didn't know many people who would judge me. Both Edogawa-san and Yuuki-san had some inkling of how I liked girls, and neither disapproved of it. As for my parents, while my fear that they would take the news badly had a great deal of precedent, there was no solid evidence for it. I had reason to be afraid of what would happen if I came out of the closet, but how likely were my fears to come to pass?
As I looked at the poster, I realized I was still afraid of what people would think about my attraction to other girls, but also, that I'd come to understand the basis of that fear. At the very least, that was enough reason not to incinerate this poster.
After my moment of reflection ended, I checked my watch and realized it was time for the girls to get together for the bath. Once we did, we got undressed in the adjoining locker room, then proceeded to the baths. The room was fairly wide open, with mirrors and stools along the wall, as well as washing bowls, towels, shampoo and everything else we'd need. The bath itself would have been large enough to fit all sixteen of us- if we were all alive and willing to take part in mixed bathing- and was deep enough that the water almost came up to my shoulders.
"Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like they're being watched?" I said after we all got into the bath.
"It's your imagination," Sugiura-san said. "Take a look around- do you see any cameras here?"
I scanned the room, then shook my head.
"No, I guess not," I said. "I'm probably just paranoid."
"I know where you're coming from, Miura-san," Akasaka-san said. "Someone hid a camera in the girls' showers at my school. For a couple weeks after it got discovered, all the girls in my class smelled like sweat after gym, since none of them wanted to take a shower."
"It happened at your school, too, Kuro-chan?" Yuuki-san said. "Maybe Kaori-chan had the same thing happen to her."
I shook my head. At the very least, I was lucky enough to not have to deal with voyeuristic perverts who had a fetish for high school girls.
"Not that I know of," I said. "I suppose I'm just on edge because of all the cameras here."
"That's only natural," Katsura-san said. "Of course, Monokuma does use the security footage to confirm the blackened's identity in which trial. If he didn't know that... I don't know what would happen."
The conversation stopped short. After a moment, Yuuki-san, who'd been looking in Katsura-san's direction for a little while, changed the subject.
"Wow, Komaki-chan," Yuuki-san said. "I didn't notice because you're wearing your suit all the time, but you've got some pretty nice muscles."
I glanced at Yuuki-san, then at Katsura-san. Yuuki-san's figure was somewhat athletic, but also was fairly slim and curvaceous, so it was clear she didn't do much muscle training. Katsura-san, however, was somewhat muscular, even if it was only apparent when she was naked.
"Thank you, Yuuki-san," Katsura-san said, "but I'm not nearly as strong as Iwasawa-san. Lifting weights just to stay healthy and in shape doesn't compare to working on a farm, after all."
As Iwasawa-san blushed at the compliment, I nodded in agreement. Iwasawa-san clearly seemed very strong, even at a glance, but I was able to tell how much after I saw her with her clothes off.
"Good for her," Sugiura-san said. "The kindest thing people can say about me in gym is that I don't do that badly for someone my size."
I looked at Sugiura-san, hoping to say something to prove her wrong, but nothing came to mind. She was fairly petite, without much muscle mass, so her strength and stamina weren't anything exceptional. She could probably carry trays of food for hours-long shifts, but wasn't much good at catching, hitting, kicking or throwing a ball.
"Sports isn't purely about strength, Sugiura-san," Akasaka-san said. "Having the arm strength to swing a baseball bat doesn't mean I can hit the ball with any degree of reliability, and being able to run from base to base without getting tired doesn't do much good if I can't get many runs."
Akasaka-san's physique was average. She wasn't necessarily out of shape, but she clearly spent more time playing checkers than she did in the gym.
"Quite true, Akasaka-san," Edogawa-san said. "Luckily for me, my school gives out good grades in gym class to anyone who shows up all the time, and actually seems to be trying."
As expected, Edogawa-san seemed a bit lighter than one would expect from her height and age. Still, even if she wasn't the strongest or fastest girl around, she was beautiful, and I couldn't turn my eyes away from her.
"Is something wrong, Miura-san?" Edogawa-san said.
I shook my head, then quickly tried to change the subject.
"N-Nothing," I said. "I was just thinking that most boys I know would be preoccupied with a certain pair of blobs of fat on our chests, not with our muscles."
"Their loss," Iwasawa-san said. "Then again, boys like that probably wouldn't be my 'type,' anyway. What about you, Miss Miura?"
I sighed. Iwasawa-san had done well to pick up my cue, but she'd ended up steering the conversation back to an uncomfortable subject.
"I... don't really have one," I said. "When all my female friends talked about the guys they liked, I couldn't really participate- it was a bit like talking about your favorite shows when I didn't even have a TV in the house. All I could do was listen to them and politely express interest, rather than participate on any meaningful level."
My friendships until now hadn't been particularly deep or meaningful, but I still valued them, and wasn't ready to give them up easily. Because of that, I held myself back and kept certain things to myself, since I was scared of having an argument and letting our friendship fall apart. Hoshino-kun probably would have found that hilarious, whether because of the inherent dishonesty, or because I cared so much about other people.
Iwasawa-san giggled, and I wondered what was so funny.
"That's a nice analogy," Iwasawa-san said, "since my family doesn't have a TV, either. Still, I hope you don't feel too much pressure to change yourself just to fit in, since that's a part of yourself, isn't it?"
With a smile, I said, "I know."
We spent a little while in the tub, making "girl talk" about subjects besides boys, until we were ready to get out. We then exited the bath, dried ourselves off, got dressed again and left, not wanting to monopolize the baths.
You're probably wishing you could actually see this scene yourself instead of just imagining it, aren't you? I suppose I can't really judge you for that, since I enjoyed seeing my female classmates with their clothes off, especially Edogawa-san. I'm not proud of that part of myself, but I can't deny it, either- it's a bit like how one of my mom's friends still loves her son, even though he's a college dropout who's had a few scrapes with the law. Maybe I couldn't change the fact that I was a lesbian, but I could learn to live with it.
After getting out of the bath, Iwasawa-san started working on dinner, while I rounded up the boys to let them know it was their turn to use the baths. After I finished, I found Sugiura-san sitting by herself in the kitchen.
"Is something wrong?" I said.
"You could say that," Sugiura-san said. "Iwasawa said she'd cook dinner from now on- it's clear she doesn't trust me.."
I shook my head.
"That isn't necessarily true," I said. "She has a strong sense of responsibility, and wants to help out however she can. Dinner's always been her job, one that we count on her to do, so it's only natural that she wants to keep it up."
"I suppose," Sugiura-san said. "Cooking- at least at the level of amateurs like us- doesn't involve all that much skill but is very important, so I get why Iwasawa would want to handle it."
I nodded. We couldn't get takeout in here, so we were purely responsible for our own meals. As such, we were grateful to have something that was on par with our parents' cooking, so Iwasawa-san's position was an invaluable one.
"Of course, there's another side to that," Sugiura-san said, "namely, that it's utterly humiliating being told that you can't be trusted to handle a simple task like that. Some of my fellow servers got fired for one mistake or another, and all of them looked completely devastated to have fucked up such a simple job."
I nodded.
"Well, I might have an idea," I said. "Why don't I have you cook dinner tomorrow night, and I'll be the first to test it?"
Sugiura-san blushed and fidgeted a little. I'd made my offer out of genuine kindness, but she clearly felt a bit awkward about accepting it.
"So in other words, you're betting your life on me?" Sugiura-san said. "No pressure, huh?"
"It's not just for your sake," I said. "I need everyone able to cooperate, and that won't be possible if they don't trust you. Perhaps giving you a chance to prove that you can be trusted might help."
"I'll do what I can," Sugiura-san said. "Hoshino's probably going to be a tough sell, but I appreciate that you're thinking of this."
I nodded and thanked Sugiura-san. Nothing about being leader of this group was easy, but by having people who would cooperate and work well together, my task would be less difficult. Because of that, I hoped to foster a sense of trust in one another, hoping that it would stave off the killing game's encouraging us to betray and kill each other.
At dinner, Iwasawa-san served everyone chicken with a side of vegetables, identical to what we'd had on the second night. No one was complaining, since all of us had to appreciate Iwasawa-san's cooking for us, but I wondered if some of us wanted a little more variety, and if Iwasawa-san wanted an occasional night off.
"I have a proposal for you all," I said. "I spoke with Sugiura-san, and she expressed an interest in cooking for us again. In order to...allay any suspicions of her, I plan on personally taste testing her food, and would like to have her try tomorrow night. Is that fine with you?"
Most of the others simply nodded, confirming that they'd heard me.
"It is," Edogawa-san said. "Since you're assuming the risk, Miura-san, it's up to you. Please be careful, though."
"Thank you, Edogawa-san," I said. "I promise you- I will be."
Hoshino-kun merely scoffed, a surprisingly tame reaction from him.
"Do what you want," Hoshino-kun said. "I'd rather play chicken with a bullet train than eat anything she serves up, but it's your call."
"I believe there's merit to Miura-san's proposal," Katsura-san said. "Considering that everyone knows that Sugiura-san is responsible for cooking, I doubt that she would try to poison anyone, considering that we'd already found and solved a similar murder last night. Besides, it would be good to have another cook, should anything happen to Iwasawa-san."
The others nodded in agreement.
"So can I take it that everyone except for Hoshino-kun supports this?" I said.
"It seems that way," Iwasawa-san said. "I'm willing to give Sugiura-san a second chance- I only hope Mr. Hoshino doesn't end up going hungry."
"I can just get something from the vending machine," Hoshino-kun said, "or else I can eat it after making sure Miura isn't dead. Better to eat a cold dinner than a poisoned one, right?"
We soon got back to eating, and I realized that while I'd given Sugiura-san an opportunity to prove herself trustworthy, no one was going to forget what they'd heard in the previous trial. Their caution was understandable, as well as a feeling I shared, since I didn't want to lose any more of my friends, so I hoped my decision would prove to be the correct one.
After dinner, I saw Kagami-kun standing outside the dining hall, evidently waiting for me.
"Do you have a minute, Miura-san?" Kagami-kun said.
"Certainly, Kagami-kun," I said, as I stopped and talked to him."
"Trusting Sugiura-san was a fairly courageous and principled decision to make," Kagami-kun said. "Not that many people would stick their necks out for someone like Sugiura-san."
I could tell from his tone that he was almost as suspicious of her as Hoshino-kun was, but significantly more tactful about it. I couldn't tell whether his restraint was due to politeness or fear of getting on the Ultimate Poisoner's bad side, though.
"Are you saying you wouldn't have?" I said, trying not to sound defensive.
Kagami-kun shrugged.
"It's hard to say," Kagami-kun said. "On the one hand, anyone could become a killer, so the fact that Sugiura-san didn't kill Mizuhara-kun doesn't mean she won't ever kill someone. It's natural to be cautious around her, just like one should be around everyone else here."
"I'll be careful," I said.
Kagami-kun simply nodded. He didn't seem like someone who'd put much stock in mere promises, so my words probably weren't very convincing.
"That said," Kagami-kun said, "I do sympathize with Sugiura-san bearing the burden of a reputation as a poisoner, and do believe that she deserves a chance to earn everyone's trust."
"I'm glad you think so," I said. "Writing her off as untrustworthy isn't just unfair, but it could destabilize the group. If she becomes a pariah, she may end up sabotaging our efforts."
"True," Kagami-kun said. "By the way, I was talking with Sugiura-san earlier, and we speculated as to what my talent might be. She said it probably something more glamorous than the Ultimate Waitress and more pleasant than the Ultimate Poisoner.'
"That... sounds like something she'd say," I said. "Ever since the last trial, she hasn't minced words."
Kagami-kun chuckled.
"I know," Kagami-kun said. "In all seriousness, though, that does go to show how important reputation is, and how difficult it can be to overcome a bad one. Maybe, if my memory never returns, I could think of this as an opportunity to start over, to become the person I want to be."
"Maybe," I said. "Of course, if I lost my memory, I'd be desperate to remember everything- fond memories, my skills, everything I've accomplished, the names of everyone important to me, and everything else that makes me the person I am. Even if I'm 'just' the Ultimate Beginner's Luck, I don't want to forget that, since that's part of what makes me who I am."
"That's the spirit," Kagami-kun said. "It isn't easy to establish a healthy sense of self-confidence without a 'real' Ultimate talent as the basis, but I'm glad you could manage that. After all, for all of her accomplishments and her good grades, Mitamura-san was inwardly vulnerable at heart, so maybe you're a stronger person than she is."
I nodded and thanked Kagami-kun, before setting off to get Edogawa-san something from the snack machine. I still wasn't sure what to think of the Ultimates placing such a high degree of trust and confidence in me, but hoped to do what I could to ensure it was well-placed.
Shortly before the night time announcement, I retired to my room for the evening.
I couldn't help but wonder whether I was out of my depth leading the twelve survivors. My old school's mahjong club only barely had enough members for the school to let us stay open, but I wasn't a viable candidate for president- everyone else there had more seniority, playing skill and/or leadership ability than I did. If few people would trust me to lead a club that small, what business did I have leading a larger group in a life-or-death situation?
The simple answer was that while there were any number of people better suited to leadership positions, none of them were here. All of us had to make do with what we had- our former leader had been a perfectionist honor student, our cook was a girl who grew up on a farm, and the murder mystery enthusiasts were our best hope at solving crimes. Rather than complain about not having a teacher, a chef or a detective with us, we simply did the best we could with what we had.
I put my doubts out of my head for the moment. My task wold be difficult, and my success was not guaranteed, but if I did what I could for the good of the group, then perhaps I might succeed in keeping some of us alive a little longer.
Monokuma Theater
They say you can't change the past, but you can rewrite history.
Did you lead a life as a boring salaryman? Just write an autobiography in which that's a cover for being an international spy.
Did your favorite character get killed off, practically right off the bat? Just write a fanfic in which they survive for the entire story.
The future may not go the way you expect, or the way you want, but you can always change what's already happened.
Author's Notes
Thank you for the reviews, favorites and follows.
Now that Miura's leader of the group, she'll face many of the same trials Mitamura did. The coming days will be a test of how well she holds together under the pressure, and as murders happen on her watch (this shouldn't be too surprising; it is a Danganronpa fic, after all).
In each Danganronpa game, there's a gift that awakens the player character's more perverse side, as you can see with the chalice Miura got (based on the chalice symbol that represents femininity).
Some of the omakes will show Miura's past and relationships with her family.
Omake
On a Friday afternoon in late April, the bell rang in my homeroom.
"That's all for today," my homeroom teacher, a woman in her early thirties, said. "Miura-san, it's your turn today."
"Yes ma'am," I said, as I stood up. "Everyone, please stand... and bow."
My class then followed suit in the daily ritual, which was so ingrained in their heads that they barely needed my prompting.
"Thank you, class," my teacher said. "I will see you all tomorrow."
All of us filed out the classroom, thinking ahead to the future. For me, mahjong club would be this time tomorrow, Golden Week would be in a little over a week, we'd switch into our summer uniforms in six weeks, and summer vacation would be in about three months. Since we led fairly peaceful and safe lives, we had the luxury of thinking ahead to wherever we wanted to be.
On my way out, I saw my sister, waiting for me. We looked enough alike, especially in matching uniforms, that we almost seemed like twins- her main distinguishing characteristic was that her hair was longer than mine, and worn in a ponytail.
"Ah, there you are, Kaori," my sister said. "How was school today?"
"Pretty good, sis," I said. "A lot of my classmates are looking forward to Golden Week... and are not looking forward to midterms."
"Same here," my sister said. "One of my classmates, a boy who's barely passing, was surprised that someone with my grades doesn't enjoy school. It's pretty simple- I don't enjoy it because it's hard work, and it'll only get harder for me now that I'm studying for entrance exams."
"I know," I said. "I suppose I have that to 'look forward to,' don't I?"
My sister nodded, confirming my guess. Thanks to her, I had a fairly good idea of what my life would be like two years down the road, so making predictions was fairly easy.
"You do," my sister said, "but high school can also be fun and pleasant. Don't neglect to plan for the future, but don't forget to enjoy your time here. As stressful as this year will be, I'm glad to have one year at the same school as my sister and my other friends, so I hope you'll learn to do the same."
I nodded, and said "Thanks, sis."
Back then, neither of us expected that I'd be accepted into Talent High School, much less end up in a killing game, but that hardly mattered. Even though life hadn't gone as I'd planned, there are some truths that stay almost constant, and not taking your time for granted is one of them.