What If…?
Twilight FanFiction Chapter 11: EPOV
I sat down at my piano, the new melody flowing inside my mind. I gently put my hands on the keys, closing my eyes. I pressed the first chord, the sound filling the living room. I opened my eyes and looked around.
There sat Bella, reading a book peacefully. When I looked at her, I knew exactly what the music would sound like. It would sound like a lullaby. I resumed pressing the keys, and much to my amazement, Bella stopped reading her book and turned her head in my direction. I continued playing as if I hadn't noticed that her attention was on me.
As I played, I realized that my inspiration for this music was Bella. Every time I pressed one key, I thought about Bella. About how I wanted to make her happy. And also… about her image when she came out of her bedroom wearing that blue dress. Blue was definitely her color.
The song was drifting to an end, with sadder chords finally ending it. I didn't want to think of a name for the song, because I knew that if I named it, it would certainly have the word 'Bella' in it. I called Esme, that was working on our garden. She loved when I played something new.
Esme was in the room in less than two seconds. She took off her gardening gloves, that weren't dirty at all.
"You finished it already? It usually takes longer for you to finish a song." she said, while wondering why in her thoughts.
"I had a good inspiration this time." I said, listening to Esme's questions in her head. "I prefer not to say this now." I said before she could think anything else, and eyed Bella for a minimal fraction of a second. Bella didn't notice anything, but Esme got the message.
I started playing my new song once again. I changed small things, to make the song more beautiful, but the idea remained the same. I could hear Esme's thoughts while I played. She was… happy? I searched more deeply in her thoughts, to discover why. And I found something I didn't want to.
I finished the song and looked my mother in the eyes. The reason of her happiness was that she thought I was… in love. How? I didn't know if I was. Was I? And the most important question: Was it showing that much in my face?
"Is it that obvious?" I asked her, not looking in her eyes. It was not possible. All my life I thought I was complete by myself. I never really looked for love. But now I felt… differently. When she entered my life, I thought that the only reason I wanted to be near her was because I wanted to make up to her.
But I was beginning to see that it wasn't just that. Esme smiled and hugged me. She was absurdly happy. She has always thought that I should be with someone, that my life was too lonely. She once said that Carlisle changed me too early, that I was just a kid. She was truly happy for me.
Maybe Alice was right. Maybe this was going to happen. I could picture me with Bella. But I was going to have to make her like me. When vampires start feeling something about someone else, it is stronger and more unchangeable than human feelings. It was absolute.
I loved Bella. And nothing would change that. I was in love with the one who hated me. That will be difficult.
Esme pulled away from the hug and asked:
"Do you have a name for this beautiful song? she asked me, looking at my piano. Yes I did. But I just couldn't say it aloud now, with Bella in the room, looking curiously at us. I had to lie.
"Not yet." I lied, but it sounded like the truth. Bella couldn't know that I wrote something inspired by her. Bella's Lullaby… It could be. It's kind of lame, but it will do. "Do you have any suggestions?"
"What about…" Esme looked at the ceiling, thinking for a while. "A simple 'For her'? It is a little bit like Beethoven with Für Elise… But if you don't like it, please don't feel the need to use it." But I would. It suited the song perfectly. But maybe I could improve it.
"I really liked it. But what if we add 'I will' after that? It would be 'For her I will'." I said, risking a glance toward Bella. She was still looking at us with soft curious eyes, so I returned my eyes to Esme.
"Perfect!" she said and asked me to play it one more time. After we were done, she took her gloves and headed to the garden. Bella returned to her book and I had nothing else to do, so I took a book randomly from the shelves. Ok, I admit, I didn't want to leave her side. Stupid Vampire feelings.
I sat down and looked at its cover. Wuthering Heights… Terrible book, but I had nothing better to do.
"It was a really nice song." I heard a voice coming from the other couch say. I looked up and saw Bella, looking at her closed book. Was she… starting a conversation with me? I felt happy inside.
"Thank you, I had a good muse." I said, hoping that she would notice who I was talking about, and at the same time, hoping not. She continued looking at her book, so I tried to keep our talk.
"Do you like classical music?" I asked her. She nodded, not taking her eyes from her lap. Isn't she going to say anything? "Do you have a favorite?" I asked, hoping that I knew how to play it. She lifted her head.
"Claire de Lune" she said. It hit me like and arrow in my chest. Her favorite was my favorite too. Of course I knew how to play it. I went to my piano again while she just stared at me.
I started playing Debussy's Claire de Lune and looked at Bella.
"Debussy to this?" I said not taking my eyes from her face. She nodded and smiled a shy smile. I wanted to make her smile more. She was even prettier when she smiled.
But suddenly her expression changed. Her face was sad and her eyes looked like she would cry, if that was possible. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees, softly sobbing. I was at her side at the same moment.
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked kneeled in front of her. I ruined a perfect moment where she was smiling. That will be definetly difficult.
"My mom used to play that on our piano." she managed between sobs. Oh god. I sat by her side and put my arm around her shoulders. I squeezed her against me, as if I could take some of her pain away.
"I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. For everything." I said, and I could not forgive me for hurting her again. She didn't push me away, so we just sat there for I don't know how long. I couldn't bear seeing the woman I loved in pain.
A/N: Eddie finally admitted his feelings for Bella!! I know… it was high time he did. We're in the 11th chapter, for god's sake! Blame him for being slow, not this cute author over here… :D
P.S.: Sorry for the lame song name, but when I was writing, I was listening to 'For you I wil', by Teddy Geiger. Cute song... XD
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