To Darkangel546: Frankly, I'm not that surprised.  We are talking about the same site that sent me the exact same review eighty-five stinkin' times!!!

To Anneke Xannon Shallot: I just got your review for my "Project IAGO" story.  I'm still trying to figure out exactly what you said.

The disclaimer has been intentionally omitted.

Chapter 11

            "I think I'm going to be sick."

            "Why?  You just pulled off an actual diamond heist!  You're officially one of us now!"

            "I know.  That's why I feel sick."

            "Are you sure it wasn't all those alchemy ingredients you ate in her shop?"

            Varansaur looked at Oreotragus.  He was really starting to dislike this elf.  "Okay, mister 'I-know-everything-and-you-don't'.  Now it's my turn to sign us up for a faction.  And you don't get any say in the matter."

            "Why do we even have to stick together?"

            "Because you're a pirate and a murderer."

"Oh, come on.  I kill a few dozen people and sell off a couple million septims worth of stolen merchandise, and you treat me as though I'm some kind of criminal."

"Uh…yeah.  I am not letting you run loose on your own."

            "Are trying to say that you see yourself as my babysitter?"

            "More or less."

            Oreotragus pulled his fist back, just as a guard in bonemold armor came around a corner.

            "Excuse me, gentlemen.  Is there a problem?"

            "No sir," Varansaur said.  "We're just trying to decide what would be a good way to make a name for ourselves.  My friend here jokingly suggested we mug people," he pulled his fist back, the way Oreotragus had done, "but I was thinking of a more…legal method."

            "Well, if you want to know the real way to get a reputation in a hurry…join a great house."

            "A what?"

            "A long time ago, all of the Dunmer in Morrowind belonged to one of seven houses.  Today, only three of them remain: Hlaalu, Redoran, and Telvanni.  House Hlaalu would be your best bet.  We're loyal to the Empire, and are pretty lenient about who we let in.  House Redoran is loyal to the Temple, and tends to abide by somewhat antiquated traditions.  Outlanders would be advised to steer clear of House Telvanni.  The majority of the house is comprised of millennia-old wizards who have nothing better to do than live in giant, mushroom-shaped towers with no stairs and study the most arcane magics that ever existed.  They tend not to like Outlanders, such as yourselves."

            "What are their specialties?"

            ""House Hlaalu is a merchant house.  They're all about profit." Oreotragus' eyes lit up.  "Redoran lives for the glory of battle.  Telvanni only lets seasoned mages join their ranks."

            "House Hlaalu it is, then." Varansaur said.  "Come on!"

            "You know," Oreotragus said, as he and Varansaur left for the House Hlaalu manor, located just on the other side of the street from Nalcarya's shop, "for a while, I was a bit iffy about you choosing the faction we joined.  But now that you've decided on House Hlaalu, I think maybe I should hang out with you more often."

            *          *          *

            "So, you want to join House Hlaalu, eh?"

            The majority of the occupants of the Balmora Hlaalu Council Manor were Dunmer.  Chief among them was Nileno Dorvayn, an aging woman in a green robe.  She wasn't particularly imposing (except to Oreotragus who, being a Bosmer male, was the shortest person in the room), but she still created an eerie presence when she spoke.

            "Well…" Varansaur fumbled for words "that is…my friend…we…"

            "This is a simple 'yes-or-no' question."

            "In that case, yes."

            "I see.  So…why?"

            "Why?"

            "Why do you think you're House Hlaalu material?"

            "Uh…well, I…what I mean is…"

            Oreotragus turned to Varansaur.  "You are such a wimp."

            Dorvayn started.  "Wait a minute.  Say that again."

            Any fear Varansaur had for Dorvayn vanished on the spot, and was replaced with utter confusion.  "What?"

            "I want to hear him say something else.  Anything, really."

            "Uh…okay.  I am the feared pirate, Oreotragus the Golden-Tongued.  I am wanted in all parts of Valenwood for serial robbery and the murders of thirt-"

Varansaur elbowed him in the ribs.

"Yes.  That's perfect.  Golden-Tongued, did you say?  How appropriate."

"What do you mean?"

"Your voice, my friend, sounds exactly like…"

"The kind of guy that you might want to introduce to a twenty-something year-old daughter of yours?" Oreotragus said, as he slicked back his spiked hair.

"Wha…no!"

"The kind of guy that you might want to introduce to the twenty-something year-old daughter of a friend of yours?"

"No!"

"Every other male Bosmer you have ever met in your entire life?" Varansaur offered.

"No!!!  Well…yes.  But specifically, I was thinking of Felsen Sethandus."

"That's not a Bosmer name."

"He was raised by Dunmer.  He was a high-ranking member of House Redoran, who died recently, due to…mysterious circumstances.  But House Redoran doesn't know this yet.  I want you, Oreotragus, to impersonate Felsen Sethandus and get some important orders for me.  If you can do this, I will allow both of you to join House Hlaalu."

Varansaur gave Dorvayn a suspicious look.  "Is that legal?"

"Who cares?  House Hlaalu is a bit like the Thieves' Guild.  We both believe that unnecessary killing makes for a bad P.R.  We're both in it for the profit, and aren't going to let something like the law stand as a barrier.  Ironically, we also hire guards to uphold the laws.  Go figure."

"So, I impersonate Felsen Sethandus for you, and get these orders, and you let us join?"

"Exactly.  Go find Neminda.  She should be in the Redoran Council Building in Ald'ruhn.  Go talk to her, and use the code phrase "Orphan of Arnesia.  She should give you some important orders to deliver.  Deliver them to me, instead."

"All right."  Oreotragus turned to leave.

"Wait!" Dorvayn called.  She tossed a helmet in Oreotragus' direction.  "Wear this.  We don't want Neminda to realize that you aren't who you say you are.  This type of helmet is only worn by important Redoran soldiers.

*          *          *

"So, why did we have to take the silt strider to Ald'ruhn?"

"Because the walk would be likely to get us killed.  I've heard that there are nix-hounds on the road between Ald-ruhn and Balmora.  I have a dagger, and you have a sword.  We may be able to fight off a nix-hound, but if the stories are true about them traveling in packs, we probably wouldn't have made it.  There was another, cheaper method of safe travel, but it would have required us to join the Mages' Guild."

"And now, we are passing the city of Caldera.  Caldera is a recently chartered Imperial town and mining corporation. The Caldera Mining Company has been granted an Imperial monopoly to remove raw ebony from the rich deposits here. Caldera has the appearance and flavor of a Western Imperial town."

"Is there some clause in the contract you sign when you become silt strider operators that forces you to point out every single thing we pass along the way?" Varansaur groaned, remembering now why he had been hesitant to take the silt strider in the first place.

The silt strider operator looked at Varansaur.  "Your name isn't Varansaur, by any chance, is it?"

"What?  Me?  No.  My name is…Gil-Shtek…and I have never seen Varansaur in my life.  Nor have I ever ridden a silt strider before now.  Especially not between Seyda Neen and Balmora."

The silt strider operator narrowed his eyes, but said nothing, and returned to his duty.  Oreotragus looked at his companion.  "You are a horrible liar.  That is something we will need to correct if you ever want to get anywhere in the Thieves' Guild, or House Hlaalu."

"You're in House Hlaalu?"

Oreotragus and Varansaur turned around, to see a heavily-armored Imperial man seated behind them.

"I feel I should warn you two.  The Hlaalu hierarchy is greatly influenced by the Camonna Tong.  Fortunately, Duke Vedam Dren is in charge of House Hlaalu.  He's an okay guy.  But his brother Orvas is…"

"A low-life criminal who probably couldn't tell the difference between a woman and a guar and plays 'drag queen' in women's undergarments with dark gods?" Varansaur offered.

"Well, that's one way of putting it.  But here's my advice: as you advance in ranks, stay away from anyone in House Hlaalu who seems corrupt in any way.  Crassius Curio is…I can't believe I'm saying this…probably your safest bet."

"Why can't you believe you're saying that?"

"Curio was just released from prison for numerous accounts of sexual assault.  He may be a sick, perverted freak, but he's not corrupt in any way."

"You seem to not like the Camonna Tong.  I'm Varansaur."

"Oreotragus."

"Percius Mercius, of the Ald'Ruhn branch of the Fighters' Guild.  And yes, I greatly dislike the Camonna Tong.  They have ruined all that was once good in Vvardenfell, including my own guild."

"And now, we are arriving at Ald'ruhn.  Ald'ruhn is the district seat of House Redoran, and a large settlement. Most citizens are Dunmer, most are House Redoran members or followers. The Redoran Council chambers and Redoran manors are up north inside the shell of an ancient extinct giant crab. Most of the cornerclubs, merchants, and guildhalls are on the southwest and central part of town. Ald'ruhn Temple is to the east. Fort Buckmoth, the Legion garrison, is south of town, outside the town wall."

"This is my stop.  I wish you two luck in your future endeavors."

"We're getting off here, too.  We have important business to conduct."

Oreotrgus stepped off of the silt strider, only to be hit in the face with a blinding dust storm.

"Hey…what the hell?"

"Oh yeah," the silt strider operator said, as he leaned out of the cockpit.  "I forgot to tell you.  Ald'ruhn is very close to Red Mountain, a volcano in the center of the island.  Every now and then, a storm like this rolls down from the crater.  It's a pity.  This used to be such a nice town."

"I'm sure it was." Varansaur said, looking as best he could through the storm at the buildings, which bore a resemblance to melted skulls."

"If I heard correctly," Mercius shouted over the wind, "you said you were also in the Thieves' Guild.  I'd suggest waiting in The Rat in the Pot, just over there in the corner.  That's where the Ald'ruhn branch of the Thieves' Guild is stationed.  Since you're members, they should let you stay there until the storm dies down."

"Thanks!" Varansaur called, as Mercius trudged, head down, towards one of the skull-buildings.

"This storm doesn't look like it's going to let up any time soon." Oreotragus said.  "I'm afraid we may be stuck spending the night in this hell-hole they call a town."

Sorry it took me so long.  Review!