This one's short, I'm sorry. But review anyways!
Buffy wonders if it's wrong for her to remember.
If it's wrong for her to wish she could go back, and take hold of that friendship and have made it last longer.
Dawn wonders if it's wrong for her to resent.
If it's wrong for her to be disgusted that Buffy never took hold of the friendship the second time.
She figures it probably isn't.
Taking the letter, she walks - not runs - up the stairs slowly.
She opens it, and there's a scent of alcohol, sweat, and - is that stale sex?
I met someone the other night.
(No 'Dear Dawn', she noticed.)
She looked like her, and I must've looked like her 'her', cause she walked right up to me and said,
"You look familiar."
"Goody for you." I almost said. Instead, I said,
"So do you."
"Dance with me?"
I said nothing, but I danced. We danced. It felt so good, I almost thought it really was her. But no, it wasn't. She wasn't really her, and I wasn't really 'her'.
We ended up in bed anyway.
(Dawn's heart falls.)
Maybe we thought we could pretend. She must've seen it in my eyes, because I saw it in hers. We fucked and we fucked and it was angry and hateful. We loved and we loved and it was forgiving and sensual. She whispered one name, and I whispered another. We pretended because wanted so much for each other to be 'her', and because we knew if we didn't pretend, we could never have 'her'.
(You already have her, she thinks.)
In the morning we both expected the other to leave, just like we expected 'her' to leave, but we clung to each other because we kept pretending and we couldn't let go. She never told me her name, and I never told her mine. We whispered 'her' name at each other, pretending; always pretending. We left our separate ways at the end; we kissed and we touched and let our gazes linger, then we turned and walked away and never looked back.
I left L.A. because I couldn't stand being so near her. Now I just can't stand being so far. So much that I have to find someone else to take her place.
It hurts like hell, Bitesize, and I hope you never have someone in your life that means to you what she means to me.
(She certainly hopes she never hurts that way, either.)
Always in my heart,
Faith