I have spent the last ten hours trying to write 800 words. I officially suck. Shout out to all the wonderful people who took the time to send me reviews, I love you all so much! You guys are the sweetest.

Minor Character Ho! Erin is actually the name of the caterpillar that caterpillar Finn marries in Food Chain (that goddamn episode) but I needed a minor character who I could write in so I sorta stole her. Obviously she's not a love interest of his in this, she's just a kid. But caterpillars are baby butterflies so I figured she'd actually make a believable child, right? Well technically she is not an OC anyway, so yaay proud of myself for not just inserting a convenient OC.

Content Warning: oh man so many mood swings, so many. Terror, cancer kids, implied naughtiness, more mood swings, wanton acts of theft.

It was the loud skittering noise of something hard being pushed by enthusiastic paws across the polished floor of the hall that woke Marceline on Friday morning. When she sleepily stumbled out of the bedroom to see what the cats were playing with she swore under her breath and hurried to where Cinnamon was happily batting around the yellow jasper she was still carrying around. She offered a quick prayer of deep gratitude that Bonnie was a heavy sleeper.

"Give that back, stupid kitty." she hissed at him. Cinnamon looked up at her with big sad eyes when she took it away. "You've got about a million cat toys downstairs, go play with them."

An insistent beep! beep! in the bedroom announced it was now seven and Bonnie's ridiculously loud alarm clock was definitely going to wake her up and Marcy had no good reason to be standing around in the hall holding a healing crystal she wasn't supposed to have. She hurried into the bathroom instead and shoved it behind Bonnie's favourite pink orchid on the windowsill; she'd move it later when there was less chance of being caught with it.

"Marcy? Are you ok?" Bonnie's sleepy voice called through from the bedroom.

"Yeah, just be a minute." Marceline called back.

Crisis averted, she flushed the toilet just for the look of the thing and wandered back through to the bedroom. It wasn't the most relaxing start to her day and Marcy was feeling increasingly vulnerable to anxiety just recently, probably another side effect of the hormones.

"Is your morning sickness still bothering you?" Bonnie frowned at her from where she was sitting up stretching.

"No, just Cinnamon woke me and I thought I might as well use the bathroom before I have to wrestle you for it." Marcy lied nervously.

She still felt so guilty about the crystals but she was absolutely determined to avoid the argument that having Bonnie find out about them would cause. And they made her feel better, who could have said how badly her severe morning sickness would have affected her without them? She'd read horror stories online about women whose morning sickness had made them so dehydrated that they'd ended up losing their babies. It was chilling to think that without the effects of the yellow jasper and the moonstone that could have happened to them. Might still happen to them because she was still in the dangerous first trimester and there wasn't much she could do to stop it happening. Without warning she was overcome with an uncharacteristic wave of panic and fear.

"Oof, what are you doing? Ok, we're hugging now. What's up?" Bonnie asked in confusion when her arms were abruptly filled with her distressed girlfriend.

"Dunno, I feel really weird. Probably a bad dream or something. Just, hold me?" Marcy muttered from where her face was hidden against Bonnie's shoulder.

"Do you wanna talk about it, sweetie?" Bonnie asked gently while she ran a hand soothing across Marcy's neck and shoulders. Her girlfriend took a moment to get her rapid breathing under control before replying.

"What if something happens to the baby? What if I miscarry, or he's born really badly ill? What do we do if it all goes wrong? Or I can't cope? What if I just walk out on you both like my Mum did? I'm so scared I'll just not be able to do this. Or I might get ill, what if I die like my Mum and you have to carry on without me?"

"You're not dying." Bonnie replied firmly. "Not even a little. And you're gonna be a fantastic mother, you'll always be there for our kids. I know you, love. There's no way you could be anything else. If it gets to be more than you can deal with then tell me, or your doctor, or someone who can help. You never have to do this alone."

"I'm scared." Marcy whispered shamefully.

"I know. I'm scared too. But it's a good kinda scared, right? Like, we can do this together. Yeah?"

Marceline didn't reply, just hugged her girlfriend harder and tried not to let her shoulders shake with giveaway tears. Bonnie knew she was crying and she didn't make a fuss, just held her closer and stroked her skin comfortingly.

"I'm sorry." Marcy murmured quietly.

"You don't need to be sorry, love. It's ok."

But she just shook her head, unable to voice that what she was sorry for was the crystals and the irrational mush that her brain seemed to be turning into these days. That she didn't really know how to express the constant nebulous feelings of worry that wreathed her thoughts more or less constantly, worse and worse as the time for their dating scan drew closer. Next week they'd find out if everything was normal with the baby, if he was healthy and growing as he should be. It was exactly seven days away and Marceline definitely didn't feel equal to talking much about how terrified she was of something going wrong. Seven days, Marcy told herself. She just had to keep it together for another seven days. She held her partner tighter and tried to breathe slow and calmly.

...

"Dr Bonnie! Hey again!"

Bonnie cringed internally; there was only one person she'd met who called her that in such a cheerful, high pitched voice. And she'd been hoping so hard to never see or hear from that person ever again. It wasn't that she had favourite patients, exactly. But working on the paediatric oncology ward meant that whenever one of her patients was discharged she always hoped they wouldn't be back, that they'd been cured as much as childhood cancer ever was. And that particular little girl had already spent so much time with them, it was cruel that she was back in for yet more treatment.

"Hello Erin, back to see us again?" Bonnie asked with a smile that was far more bittersweet than she'd intended it to be. The little girl smiled back, completely unaware that she was absolutely crushing her favourite doctor's heart yet again.

"Yep. Mum said my blood got sick again and I have to come live in the hospital for a while. I don't mind though because now we can hang out." she replied happily.

"Well that's a silver lining at least. Hey, I've got my lunch break now anyway, do you wanna sit with me and read some stories for a bit?"

No, Bonnie didn't have favourite patients because that would be unethical. But if she did then Erin would have been top of her list. She'd been diagnosed with leukaemia two weeks before her first birthday and had been in and out of the unit for as long as Bonnie had worked there, always cheerful and positive, smart and funny and smiling no matter how much pain she was in. Casting her eyes briefly over the girl's chart Bonnie felt her heart sink. The leukaemia was back and so was an invasive secondary tumour in her left kidney. Erin was scheduled to have the whole diseased organ removed on Monday afternoon and would be put on as aggressive a chemotherapy programme as her body could handle to try to kill any other secondary tumours too small to pick up on their scans. Secondary tumours meant either the cancer was spreading, which was awful news, or that they'd been caused by one of her earlier treatments. That was bad too but at least it would be more treatable. They wouldn't know for sure until the biopsy from the removed kidney came back from the labs. So instead of taking a walk outside and enjoying her lunch peacefully in the hospital garden Bonnie ended up in the chair next to Erin's bed, reading The Wind in the Willows to her between hasty bites of a sandwich. She'd be doing that every day for as long as Erin was back on her unit, Bonnie knew.

"You're a really good reader." Erin observed after they found a good place to stop for the day. "You can read all the big words really well."

"I've had a lot of practice at reading. You've gotta learn to read really big words if you want to be a doctor." Bonnie replied gently.

"You're the best doctor in the whole world." Erin nodded wisely. She paused thoughtfully for a second before she continued. "When did you know you wanted to be a doctor? Or do you have to get born a doctor?"

Bonnie laughed, she couldn't help it. If her mother had been there she'd definitely have confirmed that yes, Bonnie had been born a doctor.

"No sweetheart, I decided I wanted to be a doctor when I was twelve. My little brother broke his leg and we took him to the hospital and the doctors were just amazing. And I wanted to be amazing and help people like those doctors. So I studied really hard and went to medical school for a very long time and now I'm a doctor too. Doctors are just like anyone else, anybody can be a doctor if they want to be and they study really hard. There's nothing magical about it, it's just hard work and lots of school."

"I want to be a doctor like you. And I can help other kids with poorly blood." Erin decided. Bonnie smiled again and hoped it didn't come out as sad as it felt. Erin was six years old and already had a secondary tumour; there was a fifty-fifty chance she wouldn't make it to her sixteenth birthday.

"Well you've gotta study real hard but I'm sure a smart girl like you would make a brilliant doctor." Bonnie replied as calmly as possible around the lump that was trying to form in her throat. Erin beamed up at her and lifted her arms up for a hug. It wasn't really hospital policy but Bonnie leaned in and let the little girl wrap her arms around her neck briefly; anything if it made her favourite patient feel a little better.

"I gotta go now, Erin. But I'm gonna look at all your medicine and I'll come see you before your operation on Monday, ok?" she whispered as the little girl let her go.

"Ok. Bye Dr Bonnie, thanks for reading with me."

Bonnie left the ward and went straight to her office, closed the door and sank down into the chair behind her desk. She didn't cry, just, but instead stared at the collection of photos hanging on the wall above her bookshelf. One of the biggest was of Marcy in her favourite red ball gown accepting a bouquet on stage in Vienna; Bonnie had flown out just to see her perform on her first foreign tour when she'd been with the Philharmonic Orchestra. There was one of Bonnie and Neddy when they were kids, her grinning happily at the camera and Ned staring intensely from behind her shoulder. She was the same age as Erin in that picture, still completely innocent and carefree. They even looked similar; the little girl was the same shade of redhead as she was. The picture hung next to a Christmas photo with all their friends from a couple of years earlier. She was holding baby Junior on her knee in that one and Finn was wearing the ridiculous elf costume Jake had bought him. And there was a small frame in the corner holding an old photograph of her mother at around the same age that Bonnie was now. They looked very alike too. Both were tall, skinny and freckled with pale red hair and blue eyes. If it wasn't for the obvious age of the photograph they could have been the same person. Her mother's hair was threaded liberally with silver these days and Bonnie hadn't seen her in too long; her parents had moved back to Munich once she and Ned were both in university. Bonnie didn't get a lot of holidays and she usually spent them going somewhere exciting with Marcy, it'd been longer than was really acceptable since she'd visited. She checked her watch. She'd need to be in a departmental planning meeting in half an hour but there was still a bit of time. Bonnie lifted the receiver on the desk phone and dialed the number from memory, holding her breath unconsciously until she heard the line pick up at the other end.

"Hallo?"

"Hallo, Mama. Wie geht es dir?"

...

When Bonnie sighed for the third time in a row and pushed the same slice of carrot she'd been staring at for ten solid minutes back across her plate Marcy knew for certain something was up. She worried about her girlfriend, she couldn't help it. Bonnie was so much more sensitive than she let on and her job was such high pressure. It was worse than ever since she was made a consultant and then almost immediately afterwards a department head. And with the baby coming she had even more to worry about.

"Is everything ok, babe?"

"Mm, just had a long day. One of my patients is back and I really didn't wanna see her again. She's only six and this is her third admission with leukaemia. They're cutting one of her kidneys out on Monday too, she has a secondary tumour. I volunteered to assist. I want to be there in case something happens."

Marcy put her fork down with a sigh; she'd just lost her appetite. Bonnie winced apologetically because she knew how much it upset her girlfriend to hear the details of what she did every day. She was still upset about Erin coming back into the hospital, she hadn't meant to make Marceline think about cancer. That was always guaranteed to upset her.

"I dunno how you can stand it." Marcy murmured quietly.

"I just don't trust anyone else with their care. Those kids are so brave and so ill, I know I'm not gonna fuck up their treatment but I can't rely on anyone else. Lydia keeps telling me I delegate about as well as fish rides a bike but I just, I know I can help. If the department was left to some asshole like King the kids are the ones who'd suffer and that just isn't fair."

"So you'll suffer in their place? That'll be a real comfort to explain to the baby when we're burying you in ten years' time from a stress induced heart attack. Sorry your Mama's dead, kid, but she worked eighty hours a week making sure other people's children didn't have to receive perfectly adequate medical care from someone who was just as qualified as every other doctor in the hospital but that she personally disliked."

Bonnie tried not to rise to it, she really did. After all Marceline was exhausted and moody and full of hormones, she wasn't terribly good at tact or patience at the best of times and she had life very easy as a lecturer and musician; nobody lived or died depending on her decisions. Bonnie resolved to just ignore it and try to continue as calmly as possible.

"I understand that you don't see the point in me working such long hours but my job isn't just a job for me, it's a vocation. And you knew that from the very first time we met and you knew what kind of hours I'd be working. It's not like you've never been away touring for months at a time-"

"You always knew where I was and what I was doing! You didn't have to worry about me having some massive emotional breakdown from spending my days watching cancer kids die slowly! You've been working more and more since I got pregnant, you think I haven't noticed? I know you're avoiding me. Why can't you just be honest and tell me how disgusting you think I am?"

"What the hell?" Bonnie murmured in shock as her girlfriend finished with a choked sob and pushed away from the dining table, fleeing up the stairs to their bedroom in tears and slamming the door behind herself. So yeah, the mood swings were getting a lot worse then. Jake had quietly warned her that in his considerable experience the end of the first trimester was the worst time for sudden violent mood swings and she already knew how touchy Marceline could be at the best of times. Bonnie followed her at a more sedate pace, still shocked and confused.

"Marcy? Can I come in?" she called through the closed bedroom door. Marceline didn't reply, Bonnie could hear her muffled crying though. She opened the door and came to sit on the bed next to where Marcy was curled into a quivering ball of angst under their duvet. Bonnie reached out and hugged the middle of the blanket ball.

"Will you talk to me?" Bonnie asked her when Marceline finally consented to let the duvet slip back from over her head. She fixed Bonnie with a watery eyed frown.

"Are you having an affair with someone?" Marceline asked quietly. Bonnie stared at her, beyond shocked.

"Why would you ever think that? I've literally not even smiled at another woman since I met you. Don't you know you're the only person in the world I wanna be with?" she managed after half a minute of stunned silence.

"Just, you work so late more and more, you're distant all the time and you haven't come near me in weeks. What am I supposed to think?" Marceline muttered, looking into her eyes searchingly. "I feel like you're only halfway here most of the time."

"Oh, love." Bonnie sighed, hugging her harder. "Where do I even start? I work late because I'm trying to do the best for my patients and the department on our dangerously narrow budget. I'm trying to give you space because so often recently you don't seem to want me close when your skin is too sensitive or you feel down or you just want to focus on whatever you're doing. And really, you think I've not been near you in weeks? We were intimate like, two nights ago. It was wonderful and I spent the whole time thinking how sexy you are, how beautiful your bump is and how I'm so glad we're having a baby together. No, love, I'm not having an affair."

Marceline burst into fresh tears and allowed herself to be gently cradled and hugged.

"You're too wonderful." she managed to stutter out around her sobs. "And I'm such an idiot. I don't deserve you."

"I'm pretty rubbish really. I work too much and sometimes I know I take you for granted, even though I try not to. Neither of us is perfect. But that's ok, right? We can be imperfect together."

Marcy didn't reply for several long moments, just cried herself dry with her face hidden from view in Bonnie's lap. When she did speak her voice was raw and a little shaky.

"Don't think I've ever cried so much in my life as I have over the last three months. I hate crying. I hate being weak. And I can't help it, I tell my eyes to stay dry and they're all 'nah fuck you, you're gonna weep like a little girl who dropped her ice cream and there's nothing you can do to stop it'. If this the sorta emotional wreck I am now then how am I gonna cope when the baby comes?" she muttered dejectedly.

"You're gonna be fine. You 'll get past these hormone sads and I promise, you can scream at me all you need until you feel better. Ok?" Bonnie replied firmly. "We always knew it was gonna be hard. Remember when Lady broke down sobbing in the supermarket when she was having Kim because they didn't have the right brand of peanut butter? And she's an amazing parent. Everyone gets emotional, even I do. I called my Mum today and I was almost late to a meeting because I just really wanted to hear her voice. I'm not even pregnant, I have no excuse. But you have a get out of jail free card, you can be as moody as you want right now."

"I'd leave me, if I was you. It can't be any fun being around me right now." Marcy replied, still face down and a bit muffled.

"I'd rather be here getting cried on by you than doing anything else in the world with someone else. Love, look at me."

Marceline lifted her head and reluctantly met Bonnie's eyes. Perhaps she'd been expecting another long comforting speech but her girlfriend simply leaned forwards and kissed her tenderly, sliding her arms around Marcy's shoulders and reclining them both until they were stretched out together under the blankets.

"You're still wearing you work pants." Marcy observed a little breathlessly. "You have a no outdoor pants in bed rule. So you'll either have to take them off or get up."

"Are you trying to proposition me, Abadeer?" Bonnie asked with one eyebrow raised teasingly.

"Does that mean asking for make up sex?"

"Yeah that's what the word 'proposition' means, sweetie."

"Oh right. Yeah, then I am definitely propositioning you."

"Ok, I'm totally cool with that."

The no outdoor pants in bed rule was a stroke of absolute genius, Bonnie reflected as she wiggled out of her clothes.

...

"Bon? Bonnie. Hey, nerd."

"...Mh?"

"You awake?"

"Uh, I am now."

"The baby's hungry."

"You mean you're hungry."

"Yeah. Can I borrow your car keys?"

"You have your own car. And you hate driving. And it's two in the morning on a Saturday."

"But your car is blocking my car on the drive and I was gonna go to the twenty four hour McDonalds drive thru and be disgusting."

Bonnie sighed and flicked the lamp on, sitting up in bed and squinting through the flare of sudden light at her girlfriend. Marcy smiled at her innocently.

"You can't eat junk food, it's horrible for you and the baby. You need real food." Bonnie frowned.

"But I want something gross and deep fried. The baby's craving bad food and he won't let me sleep."

"Fine. On the condition that this is a one off, that you cook and eat whatever healthy food I buy for the rest of the pregnancy and that you order from the children's menu. The smaller portions are actually about the right calorie intake for an adult." Bonnie finally agreed with a deep sigh.

"So I can get a happy meal? Cool." Marcy grinned.

"And I'm driving. You are not leaving junk food wrappers all over my brand new car."

"Deal. Can we go now? I already got you some clothes ready."

Bonnie didn't even know why she hadn't expected that, it was typical Marcy behaviour. But she couldn't be too upset about it; PMS cravings were bad enough so she could only imagine how terrible pregnancy cravings were. It was just a shame Marceline wasn't craving something healthy like kiwi anymore.

At least her brain was awake enough by the time they were pulling off the drive ten minutes later to reach out instinctively and grab Marcy's hand before it could connect with the radio controls.

"Driver picks the music." Bonnie reminded her partner wearily.

"Bon, come on. Your taste in music is lame." Marceline replied with a definite whine in her voice.

"Well next time take your own car and you can listen to whatever you want."

It was actually a fairly relaxing drive after that. The moon was out and the sky was pretty clear, Marcy was sulking quietly and as they were coming up to the retail park where the nearest twenty four hours McDonalds was Bonnie found herself singing along tunelessly to the radio.

"Can you please just not try to rap to Macklemore? It makes the baby cringe." Marcy winced, turning the music down in case the McDonalds staff judged them for their tragic lack of cool.

"Embarrassing their kids is what mothers do, I'm just practicing." Bonnie shrugged. "Besides I'm embarrassing you too and that's an added bonus. You got me out of bed at two in the morning to buy you junk food, this is the price you pay for it."

"You are cruel and unusual. Can I get a side of cheese bites too?"

"No."

"Lame."

Despite Bonnie's protests Marceline refused to get out of the car and eat in the restaurant so they sat in the car park with the windows down in a futile attempt not to have the whole car smell like fries.

"Hey look, I got Velma." Marcy said around a mouthful of chicken nugget. She pulled the little plastic figurine out of her Happy Meal box and held it up proudly. "Guess they're rerunning the classic Scooby Doo toys. I always liked Velma best when I was a kid. Always had a thing for hot nerds."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment? It feels like you're trying to compliment me but you also just can't resist calling me a nerd." Bonnie replied. "Hey, what is that?"

She pointed out of the window with a frown and Marcy turned to look, neglecting to protect her fries for a crucial second.

"What? What am I looking at? I don't see anything, it's just an empty car park. Hey! You sneaky bitch!" Marcy gasped when she looked back around and saw her girlfriend grinning at her with a fry in her mouth.

"Your father might have mentioned a couple of times that Fries Thief was your favourite game to play at dinner time with him when you were small, I thought it'd be fun to give it a try." Bonnie replied happily. "It is fun! I like this game very much."

"Traitor! Bad enough that you and the baby gang up on me but if you're gonna start getting tips from Daddy too I don't stand a chance." Marcy sulked.

"You know I'm just kidding. Are you nearly done? I'm getting sleepy sitting here."

"Nearly finished my fries. I'll just leave the empties in here and we can throw them away later."

"No. Get your butt out of the car and throw away the box now, there's a bin right there."

"Where? Where am I looking? I don't see a bin. Oh my God, Bon, stop stealing my fries!"

Although the car smelled like junk food for days afterwards Bonnie couldn't bring herself to regret their midnight drive to McDonalds, especially not when it cheered Marcy up after her emotional outburst earlier in the evening. She even let her choose the radio station on the way home.