Day 11
Mags here again. Finnick stumbled into his house at four A.M. this morning so I'm just going to blog today. That boy will probably sleep for most of the day and even into tomorrow depending on how hard the clients were and how much alcohol he consumed. I for one don't approve of the boy having any alcohol, but who am I? The Capitol doesn't care if Finnick's mentor doesn't want him to drink. There really isn't a clear cut rule on when kids can start to drink here. It usually depends on the family. I don't really like him drinking especially when he's in the Capitol with all these strange people. If he was with me then maybe it would be a little different, but he's with older people in the Capitol and who knows what they'll get him to do if they get him drunk.
Do I approve of his business in the Capitol? No. Do I have a choice? No. We're all dealt different hands as Victors. Some get sold. Some have their families killed. I wasn't sold. I don't think they felt I was pretty enough. Not that attractiveness completely matters to the clients. They killed the only family I had left though. The reason being that they didn't feel I was a deserving winner. They felt I got to the end soley because I was with Jace and if I din't have Jace I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did. Maybe they're right, but Jace and I were a team. He had the combat skills but eating a poisonous plant could have killed him had I not been there with him. He probably would have died of dehydration or starvation without me and without him I may have been able to just hide and stay under the radar. I think I would have lasted longer without him than he would have without me.
They killed my older brother and I was angry about it for a long time. I blamed myself and became very suicidal and very depressed. Dewy was basically my father. Our dad had left us when we were very young. I think he was afraid. Of what, I don't know. Our mother raised us herself and Dewy dropped out of school and became a clam monger so he could feed us because even the shop wasn't enough to help us. Mother wasn't happy that Dewy dropped out, but she couldn't deny she needed the help. She died when I was fourteen and I dropped out of school, despite Dewy's protests, to help support us. I worked in town at a bakery and that's when I met my best friend, Alex and Brooks. Brooks's parents owned the bakery so he was always around when I was working. Alex was kind of like myself. She lived on her own with her dad who was an alcoholic so in order to support herself as well as her dad's addiction, she needed to work. She often worked overtime so she didn't have to go home and sometimes she even went home with myself or Brooks.
We three were misfits. The daughter of the alcoholic, the practical orphan, and the baker's son. Brooks was the youngest of seven so he barely ever got attention from his parents. He was one of those who acted out in school because he wasn't used to getting attention at home. He got expelled when he was fifteen for a prank that ended in the school being closed for a week. Let's just say Brooks wasn't allowed in his house for a good week because his parents were so angry. They got over it though. Alex dropped out about the same time as me as well because she needed to work. Dropouts weren't as common in districts like One, Two, and Four because families could support themselves better but I had found a group of exceptions.
Brooks and Alex became my rocks. We all supported each other and became closer than we were to our families even. Then I got reaped and Alex seemed to resent me a little bit when I got back. I think she was afraid the Capitol had changed me. Brooks never left me though. He knew I needed him then more than ever. Then Dewy was killed in a "freak accident" that was obviously the Capitol's doing and Alex moved in full time with me. Brooks was two years older than Alex and me so being eighteen he was able to move out and do as he pleased. He stayed at the bakery where Alex and Brooks still worked, but he tended to stay with me a lot. Had it not been for Brooks and Alex, I don't think I ever would have made it past my dark phase. The nightmares, the depression, the suicidal tendencies, they helped me with all of it.
Alex married some fisherman's son who hung out with us a lot. I thought 18 was a little young to be married but he was 21 and they cared about each other so much. She wasn't around as much after she married and it wasn't the same. Brooks was there for me though and I was there for him, just as it had been for years.
They always say you marry your best friend. I never believed it. Alex was best friends with Brooks and she didn't marry him. It was cliche and dumb. But I suppose there was some truth in it for me. Especially after Alex married, Brooks became my best friend. So when we married, no one was surprised. Not one person. I was 23 and he was 25. He was the love of my life up until the end when he died of old age at 70. That was 7 years ago and I still miss him everyday. But I have Finnick and Annie and all the other mentors. Alex is gone too. I outlived all of my friends. It's okay though. I've learned to appreciate the little things you find in every day.
I apologize again for the complete tangent that I went off on. I do enjoy story telling and this is a good way to do it for me. It's good therapy, spilling out all these stories. If only Annie or Finnick or Johanna did it more. Those kids need to stop bottling things up. I'm going to check on Annie and see how she's doing. She's been on the swing for hours. Johanna was taking a walk on the beach so I need to make sure she isn't terrorizing any seagulls. I also need to see if Finnick is still sleeping. I don't want to wake him up but I also don't want him to sleep the whole day away. I'm sure Annie and Johanna want to see him.
Mags