Author's Note: Check out the author's note below. It has important information with relevance to this story but it won't mean much until after you read this chapter. Also, I think this is the most OOC Bain has ever been. Still, as the story progresses, we'll see if it truly is out of character or not. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.
Warning: language
And the Nominees Are…
When Friday finally arrived, there was a sense of "finally!" among the high school's student body. At the same time, the air was thick with tension and the general feeling of it being the calm before the storm was prevalent.
There was a feeling that whatever had been building up over the past couple of days was about to break today of all days.
At least that was how Wendy felt.
Living in this Stan-less world had shown her that there was so much more going on than she had ever dreamed. When there wasn't any "going through the motions" to distract her, she had realized just how little control she had.
Was that why she had latched on to trying to find that lesbian rapist that had tried to break into her room? To give herself something to do in which she didn't need to depend on the anchor that she knew as Stan Marsh? Sounded like a good theory.
When the morning announcements came on, instructing all seniors to go to the school gym for an important assembly, Wendy had rolled her eyes at it like everyone else had. Was the school finally responding to Cartman's ad? About a couple days late. She would have expected someone to explain to them that you couldn't hijack the intercom system for your own abuses.
Then again, Thursday had passed uneventful.
That was unless you counted how many people seemed to be busy. Kenny and Kyle could be seen huddled together, always talking with one another over something that Wendy cared not to listen to. Cartman could alternately be seen trailing after a girl Wendy knew as Brianna Vargas and then later would be hanging around a much smaller but spiffily dressed boy who seemed to be trying to act like a Secret Service agent. She had also watched as Stan followed after his current girlfriend Kyra to some secluded corner and a while later watched as Stan walked away scowling but at the same time subdued. The Mormon kid was nearby so…was Kyra breaking up with Stan? She didn't think so and thus would not voice any suspicions.
Just saying something like that would get people in an uproar.
But those were only a handful of things. A bunch of the girls were making themselves scarce and when Wendy did see them, they were always in the same kind of group, each of which seemed have Gwendolyn Long and Brittany Love as their centers. Then there was Roxi and Mari; the raven-haired girl had begun to realize that she had kinda been neglecting those two for some time. When she did see the pair, Roxi was excited about something and Mari looked like she wanted to hang herself. Which was pretty much same old, same old with those two.
She made it a point to sit by them in the bleachers while the rest of their class swarmed in, people trying to sit by their friends and raise the overall decibel level.
"Hey girls," she greeted, taking a seat right next to Mari. "What's up?"
Instead of answering, Mari stood up and sat on Wendy's other side, using her as some kind of barrier between her and Roxi. Wendy ended up sliding into Mari's vacated seat, Mari groaning as she slid into Wendy's previous seat.
"Sounds like you're not getting along," Wendy commented with a slight frown.
"What makes you say that?" Roxi asked.
"Whatever you do, don't accept her at face value," Mari groaned. "She's driving me nuts."
"Since when?" Roxi inquired.
"Since you were born," Mari answered stiffly.
"Trouble in paradise?" Wendy asked.
"You have no idea," Mari grunted.
"You wouldn't be interested in it," Roxi said quickly, for some reason looking away from Wendy now.
"You guys aren't upset with me, are you?" Wendy asked. "I've been…busy recently."
"Everyone and their dog knows that," Mari replied. Then with a smirk, she added, "Or maybe I should say cat."
Roxi winced at that for some unknown reason.
"Why a cat?" Wendy asked, wondering why Mari felt the need to say it.
"It's nothing!" Roxi said quickly. "I had a…thing with a cat. That's right! Traumatized. Yeah."
"What happened?" Wendy asked, concerned. Recalling Roxi's incident with a certain rapist…how insensitive could Mari be? And how could she, Wendy, forget that Roxi had been raped? She was such a terrible friend!
But as quickly as Wendy had asked, Roxi had answered, "Nothing!" Oh, how much she must be suffering! She was such a brave soul for still coming to school and pretending that everything was all right.
"You know you can talk to me Roxi," Wendy said, placing her hand on top of Roxi's. "It isn't easy going through what happened to you but just know that I'll be here every step of the way."
Behind her, Mari was snorting, trying to hold in her snickers as if she found this whole business hilarious. It was so rude of Mari to do that. Did she really see rape as something to laugh at? She bet Mari wouldn't be laughing if this thing had happened to her!
"Yeah…" Roxi winced again, throwing a glare at Mari as if warning her to shut the fuck up.
"You know what, I think I'll hang out with you guys more," Wendy said, becoming resolute. "No, I don't think, I will. To show that I'm really sorry about ignoring you guys."
"You don't have to do that," Roxi said, her voice cracking. "We kinda have stuff planned and…"
"Can I join?" Wendy asked.
Mari was struggling not to burst out in laughter. Roxi looked like she was in so much discomfort. All of it made Wendy more determined to make it up to them.
A loud screech quite similar to someone holding a microphone up to a speaker interrupted the dramatic moment, along with countless conversations as everyone held their hands up to their ears, many crying out in agony.
"See I got your attention," Mr. Garrison said into the mike. "Now all of you shut up and pay attention. The principal wants to tell y'all something."
So the screech really was a microphone being held up to a speaker. Only Mr. Garrison would use that kind of torture to shut them up.
Principal Victoria eyes their social studies teacher warily as she took the mike away from them.
"Right. All right, seniors, I know what time of the year it is and just because you're about to graduate doesn't mean you get to slack off," Principal Victoria said. "However, that is not why you have all been called here today. Instead, you are all here so that we can discuss the other thing that's on your minds. Prom. This is going to be your senior prom and I know as do the rest of the faculty that you're all excited about it."
Okay, now it was making sense. They were going to go over some rules ahead of time, maybe pass out some pamphlets, announce other stuff. For some reason, Wendy felt that there was something that she was forgetting. Something important.
"By now, I believe everyone here has heard that advertisement that came on the other day," Principal Victoria continued, shooting a pointed look in the general area of Cartman. "That, along with the turnout of people signing up so that you can vote for them to be your Prom Queen and King, has prompted us to close signup early and announce right here and now who your choices are. Now, give a big welcome to the student who has graciously volunteered to be in charge of Prom setup."
Wendy frowned at that. Last she checked, the school had already asked for student volunteers to form a prom committee and she was the head of it. Why wasn't she down there?
When the dark form of Bain Cynis walked across the gym's floor to accept the mike from the principal, Wendy knew that something was incredibly wrong.
Stan was down but at least he wasn't alone. He would have liked to sit next to Kyra, maybe try to change her mind but he hadn't been able to see her. So he ended up sitting with Kyle and Kenny to whom he spilled his woes.
"You're a fucking pussy," Cartman said, flinching submissively when Brianna looked at him.
"Screw you," Stan muttered before turning to Kyle hopefully.
"So she doesn't want to run for prom queen, what's the big deal?" Kyle asked.
"What's the big deal? Haven't you heard?" Stan asked, flabbergasted at his best friend's nonchalant reaction.
"Sweet Moses, don't tell me you all are privy to something I haven't even heard about," Kyle groaned out loud. "If there's some kind of rumor or fad going around, tell me about it before it becomes important. Please."
"It's a wonder why you Jews have so much cash," Cartman sneered. "You're all behind the times."
"Fuck you fatass!" Kyle glared at his eternal nemesis.
"Keep it down," Kenny warned with a smirk on his face. "What Stan here is talking about is the fact that whoever becomes Prom King is guaranteed to get laid the night of prom, most likely with whoever's Prom Queen."
"I've already heard about that," Kyle rolled his eyes.
A pale, slender hand with claw-like fingernails patted the Jew's shoulder condolingly. "So have I," a mischievous Damien said, his red eyes trained solely on Kyle from his seat on the bleacher behind them.
"And can you try to lay off the creepiness?" Kyle frowned at the Antichrist.
"I can only try," Damien replied.
Eye twitching in irritation that the others' attention was not directed towards him anymore, Stan reinserted himself into the conversation. "That's only half of it," he grounded it. "The other half is that whoever's king and queen go on to get married."
"They do what?" Kenny straightened up, looking at him with shocked blue eyes.
"You lie!" Cartman accused him.
"So you were hoping Kyra would run so that you and her would win and get married?" Kyle hazarded. "Sappy. Better hope you don't win."
"Might as well root for me," Kenny said as he slumped back into his usually laidback posture.
"Like hell! I'm still gonna fucking win this!" Stan boasted.
They were briefly interrupted when there was a loud screech and all fell silent as Garrison reprimanded them. Great, now it was going to be boring. Hopefully someone would start talking to their friends, giving others the balls to also start talking, creating a progression where everyone would be talking over what the principal was trying to tell them.
Then Stan wouldn't have to sit here bored and wanting to confess his insecurity to his two very good friends. Emphasis on the word two.
Before he was even aware of it, a scratchy yet velvety voice began to echo from the speakers and he perked up, leaving the stupor that came from years and years of listening to the same person over and over again to listen to a voice he rarely if ever heard before.
Then he spotted the voice's speaker.
"Class of 2012, allow me to take this moment to say that it's an honor to be the head of this year's prom committee," a teen in a black trenchcoat said, his sharp eyes trailing over the seated crowd of seniors like they were all slabs of meat on the butcher's block about to be cleaved. "I promise that this year's prom will be a night that you will remember for years to come. I guarantee it."
"Oh. Shit," Cartman said as he stared at the teen in what looked like horror but Stan couldn't be too sure about it. "Not that Bain asshole. Anybody but him."
The name sparked immediate recognition in Stan as the memories of cramming a short amnesic teen into a trashcan and all in all making his life a living hell returned to the front of his mind. Recalling that same teen also smashed his face into a mirror reminded him that this was also the last person you wanted to fuck with.
"Now, I have here in my hand the list of names of all the students who have signed up to be this year's prom royalty," Bain continued, holding up a piece of paper in his hand for all to see. "Listen well and pay attention because you are about to see your choices, starting with this year's potential Prom Queens. This is brought to you by Black Market. Panicking over what you're going to wear to Senior Prom? Worried about whether you can get a limo? Need kegs for the post-prom party? Find this and more at Black Market and if you act now, you can get the once-in-a-lifetime prom package all for the cheap price of $39.99. Remember, for all your prom needs, there's no place like the Black Market."
Advertisement aside, what was up with this? Stan wondered to himself. He tensed his body, ready for anything unexpected to happen, fully expecting the worst to happen. What was going on here was wrong, so very wrong. Why was someone, of whom Stan only had bad memories of, down there acting so normal? It was obvious that a few of the adults were also watching Bain, fearing that whatever was happening was about to blow up in their faces.
"If the nominees would come down here when their names are called, it will make this all much smoother," Bain said into the mike as he looked at the paper in his hand. "Hold your applause until everyone has been called. Now, your nominees for this year's Prom Queen are…Bebe Stevens…" Bain trailed off, looking at all of them as if waiting for Bebe to stand up and walk down onto the gymnasium floor. "Bebe Stevens, if you would please come down here…"
After what seemed to be a tense moment, Bebe finally stood up from where she sat in the crowd of seniors and made her way to the floor, not taking her eyes off Bain for a second. Though Stan was not close enough to the figures on the floor, he could tell that Bain was giving Bebe a smile and from where the jock sat it looked…normal.
Looking away from Bebe and back to his list, Bain continued, "Gwendolyn Ashley Long." Unlike Bebe, the girl called Gwendolyn Ashley Long stood up—hey it was Wendy 2! Oh, that's right, she had told him she was…damn. Well, regardless of how bummed out he felt, Wendy 2 moved at a much slower pace to the gym floor than Bebe had, looking around to see if there was some kind of trap waiting for her.
"If you could pick it up, please," Bain said, remaining polite. "The longer you take, the less time you have for this period, the more homework you will have, so don't dawdle."
It just didn't sound right that he spoke all polite-like. From what Stan knew, the guy should be cursing or calling every girl he saw a cunt or a bitch or a whore. Bain gestured for Wendy 2 to take a spot right next to Bebe who still was eyeing Bain cautiously.
"Bonnie Snyder," Bain announced. This time the girl who was announced move quickly down to the floor, allowing Bain to continue listing off each and every girl on the list. "Heidi Turner. Brittany Love. Violet Robbins. Ella Robinson. Aurora Neilson." When nothing happened to either of the girls coming out, each one became more and more confident though all of them were watching Bain like hawks, just waiting for the other foot to fall.
It hadn't yet but it was still wise to watch.
"I don't know how this name got on here," Bain said unexpectedly, peering at the paper in his hand. Shrugging, he said, "The final nominee for Prom Queen: Kyle Broflovski."
The silence was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. And then…
"BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Cartman roared in laughter.
Kyle turned his fiery glare towards the fat teen, green eyes almost demonic in their animosity. "You did this? Fuck you fat ass!"
"No, no, ha ha ha ha, I wish I did!" Cartman continued to chortle.
"I'll fucking kill you!" Kyle roared as he tried to throw himself at his sworn enemy, Cartman's painful death held back as both Stan and Kenny restrained him.
"Is there a problem up there?" Bain asked, peering up at them. "Kyle Broflovski, please come down to the floor."
By now quite a few people were experiencing schadefreude at Kyle's expense (but wasn't that always the way?) and a handful were not making an attempt to cover their amusement. When Bain spoke, Kyle's anger had a new target that was directed solely on the short teen.
Now that Kyle's attention wasn't on Cartman anymore, Stan too was able to look away and got a good look at the adults who were still around, many looking uncomfortable but no one doing anything. They had to have seen that so-called list in Bain's hand and if they had…then did that mean…?
"This is bullshit!" Kyle yelled angrily as he violently shrugged off the hold that he and Kenny had him in, rampaging out of the bleachers with the sole intent of saving whatever masculinity he had left and possibly sending the little fucker who had started all this to the intensive care ward.
"It's quite real," Bain said as Kyle drew near, holding out the list to the angry Jew. Kyle snatched it away irritably and Stan could see his best friend reading down the paper. How Stan knew when Kyle reached his name, Stan could only say it was from years and years of experience of watching Kyle and knowing all his physical tics. He could just tell when Kyle froze up even though there was some distance between them and his previous question seemed to have been answered.
"Are you satisfied?" Bain asked pleasantly, still audible from the speakers.
"I'll contest this!" Kyle declared, glaring at the surprisingly shorter teen. Kyle wasn't tall like many of the other guys in school but when you were still shorter than one of the shortest people Stan knew, then Goddamn you were short.
"Until you do, stand aside," Bain ordered, Kyle amazingly obeying this one time. Turning towards their previously ignored audience, Bain said, "Everyone who gets off on cross-dressing laughs now."
There was still some laughter, Cartman's being the loudest, but once Bain's words were registered, many people shut up as quickly as they could, now pissed off too. Cartman continued laughing until he was elbowed in the gut by Brianna but the damage to his own reputation had been done though Cartman had yet to realize it.
"Now that you're all good children again, let us continue," Bain said, pausing for a moment when Principal Victoria came up to him and said something in his ear. As soon as their principal pulled away, Bain continued as if nothing had happened, "The nominees for Prom King are: Eric Cartman."
Standing up proudly, Cartman made a show of leaving his seat, head held high and revealing his double chins. "Thank you, thank you!" he called out to his supposedly fawning fans. As he approached Bain, he held out a hand for the mike, expecting to be allowed to say something.
When the mike was not forthcoming… "Hand it over, midget," Cartman demanded.
A death glare was his answer.
"Later then," Cartman said, trying to look away as casually as possible.
Without another pause, "Stan Marsh."
Deciding not to be as dramatic as his friends had been, Stan stood up as calmly as possible and made his way out of the bleachers. Perhaps out of all the nominees thus far, his was the one with the least amount of fanfare but then again, he wasn't planning on doing anything to make this anymore painful as it already was.
"Kenny McCormick," Bain continued to list off and now that Stan was in closer proximity to the shorter teen, he found that he wanted nothing more than to put a lot of space between the two of them. A mile sounded good. "Craig Tucker." Huh? What? Craig? But—"Clyde Donovan." Wait a minute, go back to—"Odd…anyone here who chose to call themselves Damien the Antichrist?"
Stan raised both of his eyebrows at that and before he or anyone else knew it, Damien was literally standing there with them on the gym floor. There had been no grand standing up from his seat or smug march down from the bleachers so that everyone could see him and be awed. No, the Antichrist had apparently teleported himself there and was it him…no it wasn't him. Damien was standing oddly close to Kyle and giving him a knowing leer.
By now everyone had noticed the unexpected addition after looking among themselves for this sixth candidate and now the murmurs were growing louder. Bain looked peeved, as if someone around here who was not to be named was stealing his show. And they pretty much were.
"So glad you could join us," Bain said sarcastically before turning back to their audience and laying his "charm" on them. "Give an applause for our nominees, my fellow peers. For the next couple of weeks, they are going to be all over the place hoping to get your vote. Make them work for it."
It was a slow applause, many unsure but eventually they were getting over their uneasiness of the unexpected turn of events. Forcing Bain out of his mind, Stan threw out a smile, hoping to charm some votes right here and now and gave a wave. At this point, the game was on.
He wasn't the only person trying this tactic but Cartman decided to add a verbal part to it. "You guys all vote for me! I'll make this school a better place and—ay! Did that fucker call me a crossdresser?"
And now he was reminded that it was going to be a long time before prom…
Kyle was furious, the understatement of the year. As soon as Principal Victoria took over and went over the more boring details of what prom was going to include, he had tried to go up to her and demand he be taken off the ballot.
"I'll see what I can do Kyle," the principal had promised him but that wasn't the guarantee he had been looking for. Why the hell she wouldn't say "consider it done" went beyond him for a moment until he figured out almost a minute later just who was responsible for this humiliation.
"You!" Kyle hissed with pure venom in his voice. "You did this!"
"Why so surprised?" Damien smirked at him, his hands tucked firmly into his pockets.
"I don't give a shit who the fuck you are, I'm going to rip your fucking balls off!" Kyle bellowed as students were exiting the gym, ignoring the drama.
"Now don't be like that," Damien said, suddenly real close to him, the few feet that had once separated them gone. "I just wanted to test the rumors."
"The marriage rumor, that's the one you're talking about," Kyle said through gritted teeth. "You do realize that most states don't recognize gay marriage."
"You really think I care about that? Besides, whether they know it or not, all Republicans are in Hell's pocket," Damien said nonchalantly. "When Hell needs shit done on Earth, use the Republicans. That's what my father's ex-boyfriend Kevin once said."
"Do you really think that's going to appease me?" Kyle demanded. Then a thought occurred to him. "Wait, there's more isn't there… Are you threatening the school faculty so they don't take me off the ballot?"
"What does it matter?" Damien asked.
"I swear to God and whoever else might listening, I am going to fucking hurt you," Kyle seethed.
"That doesn't sound right," Damien frowned. "Isn't the mortal phrase supposed to be kill? Not hurt?"
"I'm not stupid enough to think I can kill you," Kyle rolled his eyes. "Hurt you, as in physical pain, yes. If I can't then I'll find a way."
"I know you want me to be scared but I'm getting turned on by this kind of talk," Damien said into his ear.
A sharp elbow to the gut and he was away from the Antichrist, glaring at the immortal who had an arm around his bruised stomach. "You pull anymore of this shit and any hope you have of getting back together is gone! I fucking swear it!" Without waiting for a reply, Kyle spun around and marched away, his anger in no way lessened. He did not notice that at that point, Charlie had swooped in on Damien and was demanding to know what the hell he thought he was doing.
He needed to hurt something, or at least break something. Otherwise he was going to be steaming for the rest of the day and the few looks he had already gotten from many of his classmates were infuriating him even further.
He felt a tug at his sleeve and he directed a deadly glare at whoever had provoked his wrath. Violet jumped back, visibly shaken by the fury in his gaze but still retaining some concern for him.
"K-K-Kyle? Are you all right?" she stuttered shyly and quivering in her little shoes.
Closing his eyes for a moment and putting a tenuous leash on his anger, he answered, "Now is not really a good time, um, Violet."
"I-I-I understand," Violet said shyly, looking away from him. "I w-w-was surprised t-t-t-too. I was kinda hoping you would sign up for king."
"I didn't want to sign up at all," Kyle grumbled. He frowned when he saw her wince at that. "Is something wrong?"
"Oh! It's nothing," Violet said quickly, not looking up at him but giving the impression that she was embarrassed about something.
"Look, I'm sorry for being rude here," Kyle said, looking away from the smaller girl. "I'm just really pissed off at this sorry excuse for a joke."
"What if I try to run for Prom King?" Violet asked, looking up at him with large brown eyes. "Then maybe you won't feel lonely or embarrassed."
"You don't have to do that!" Kyle exclaimed. "I'll just…I'll figure something out. You don't have to do anything! Really!"
"But…" Violet protested but her protest died off as she could not come up with anything to reason with him.
"It's kind of you, really," Kyle said, "but I don't want to do anything to mess up your plans or anything so…I'll take care of this myself."
"Well…um," the girl bit her lower lip as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. To Kyle, it appeared like she wanted to ask him something. He waited patiently, or at least as patiently as he could when he was still pissed off at how everything went earlier.
"Yes?" he asked.
"Would you like to do something? Together?" she asked, her question, or questions in this case, coming out quickly.
Huh, that was bold of her, he thought to himself. And he was flattered. Really. He couldn't recall a time when a girl had asked him that but that also could have been because it had been a long time since a girl had asked him anything of this nature. How was he going to answer? What about Damien?
That soured his thought process. What about Damien? It was because of him that he was in this mess! And what did he owe him? They weren't together! Despite the few dates that Damien had managed to wheedle out of him, Kyle did not see them as exclusive. And hadn't that asshole said he could play around?
Why couldn't he be selfish? Well, he might as well try it out with Violet here! She seemed sweet enough a girl. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. No, a great idea!
"Okay," he said, taking in how the girl brightened up…and held a hand up to block some of the intense light that was reflecting off her teeth.
"Really? You want to?" she asked, sounding as if all of her dreams had come true.
"Yeah," he answered her. "Do you have anything in mind?"
With their plans made, Violet left the impromptu meeting feeling like she was on top of the world.
Perhaps spending all that time in MUFFDIVER had helped her gain the courage to finally approach her crush and ask him out. It was a great feeling and the fact that she was going out on a date! With Kyle! It was so intoxicating to someone like her.
She had had no idea when or how it started but it could be said that one day she happened to look up and fall in love with the Jewish minority. At least, that's the best that Violet could come up with. But that did nothing to weaken how ecstatic she was. The day when she could at least get a date with Kyle Broflovski had finally come and she felt like nothing could cast a dark cloud on this moment.
Thank you Wendy 2 and all you MUFFDIVERs out there! Without your encouragement, this moment could not have been made possible!
With a giggle, she turned around and found herself running into someone who had been standing right behind her without her notice.
"Oh! Excuse me! I'm sorry!" she apologized as she looked up at the person she had run into.
Hey, it was that kid! The one that called himself Damien the Antichrist! What was he doing behind her? And why was he looking at her like that? It was like he was studying a bug or something that was supposed to be beyond his notice. No one had ever looked at her like that before and it really made her nervous.
"Um…yes?" she squeaked when the Damien kid said nothing.
Then… "You finally decided to make your move, hmm?" His voice was so high pitched, something that she didn't expect from a boy his age. His red eyes had narrowed and it made her uneasy.
"Sorry…?" she hazard, trying desperately to come up with anything that could possibly explain why he was looking at her with such animosity.
"A doe, eh?" Damien said, his eyes lighting up as if in recognition. "A very docile creature has seen fit to try and move in on what I have already claimed? Despite the fact that you do not anatomically have them, you have balls."
That was quite an impressive yet crude vocabulary there!
"I…don't know what you're talking about," she said, blushing slightly in embarrassment.
"Do what you want now but know that Kyle will never be yours to have," Damien stated as if his words were some kind of decree.
Kyle? What about Kyle?
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"If there is one thing we have in common, it is that we both have eyes for the same person," Damien said. Eyes for…? Wait, did that mean…? "This fling will not stand in my way, little mortal. Have your fun while you still can."
Now, Violet was the type of person who liked to see the best in people. No matter who they were or what they had done in their past, she preferred to look past all that stuff and see the inner good that she knew was in there.
However…that trusting nature, whether people knew it or not, had a limit and where Kyle was concerned…
She had never imagined that this would have been possible but it seemed like she had competition for Kyle's affections! And it was with another boy! A curious turn of events but no. Just no. Who did this Damien think he was? She could only see the arrogance he was projecting and the hostility he was radiating made so much more sense now.
What were the odds that this was some kind of LESBIAN ploy? Oh, Wendy 2—excuse her, Gwendolyn, Ella, and the others would definitely need to hear about this. She hadn't expected much from their rivals but this was low, even for them!
"Thank you, I will!" she told the boy cheekily, the boy blinking at how upfront she was being. "And you know what, I'll have so much fun with Kyle that he'll want to be my boyfriend! Snooze, you lose!"
Damien narrowed his eyes at her to the point that they were practically slits. "It isn't wise to poke dragons, mortal."
"Well, you're just being a sore loser!" she retorted.
"Tell me something I don't know," Damien replied with a smirk. "I have no illusions of what I am."
"Goodbye," Violet stated, placing an emphasis on her one word sentence and went around the demonic blockade. She had never met a person she didn't like but today, she felt like she finally met that person.
Don't think like that Violet! You're just letting him get to you. Ignore him and focus on the time you're going to spend with Kyle…after you tell the rest of MUFFDIVER. They would be able to run interference if someone unwelcomed showed up, not that she would need it but she had a feeling. Not a very strong feeling but a feeling nonetheless.
She was going to have a good time with Kyle, she told herself. She was going to enjoy it and who knew, perhaps they might be able to go further. Maybe getting involved in this whole prom election thing hadn't been such a bad idea after all.
It was barely second period with the second interruption of that day occurred and Kenny was proud to say that it had nothing to do with Cartman this time. Nope it was all him, with Kyle's help naturally. And Ike's.
The three of them had spent most of the past couple of days coming up with this though the little assembly they had earlier had been unexpected. Still, maybe it was good thing that this little thing was going to be shown after his candidacy had been affirmed. And yes, he was using big words there, words he had picked up from both Kyle and Ike. A bit of a shame that a kid practically four years younger than him could teach him new words but Kenny had always been a bit shameless.
So when the TV monitors that were installed in every classroom, relics left over from Cartman's stint as the morning announcement presenter, he knew exactly what was about to happen.
"What in the name of Shakespeare's balls is it now?" Dr. Gunn demanded as he glared at the monitor, pissed off that he had been interrupted in the middle of one of his "informative" lectures.
The sound of bass and a keyboard set the mood as the words McCormick and 2012 faded onto the screen, the image of a mustached man standing at the back of a miscellaneous building looked straight into the camera that was just barely shaking.
Not bad for a handheld, Kenny had to admit. Ike certainly knew his cinematography or whatever it really was.
"Mark Block here," the mustached man introduced himself. "Since yesterday, I have been the face of the McCormick Prom King Campaign. Tomorrow is one day closer to prom night. I really believe that Kenny McCormick will put the High back into South Park High School just like Herman Cain would in Washington and if I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be here making this crappy advertisement. We've run a campaign like nobody has ever seen, except for Herman Cain's, but then South Park High School has never seen a candidate like Kenny McCormick, except for Herman Cain.
"We need you to get involved as together we can do this, we can take this school back." The screen then changed to Mark Block with a cigarette in his mouth, taking a big puff on it and taking it out and doing so without taking his eye off the camera just as the lyrics I am America began playing.
The screen blacks out for a second and then shows Kenny's handsome mug turning towards the camera and slowing giving a sexy, sure-to-make-girls-wet-themselves-just-by-looking-at-it smile. Beside him, the words Kenny McCormick, Prom King, and 2012 were edited in as if floating in midair.
Without taking his eyes of the TV monitor, Kenny knew that the girls that were in this classroom were hot and bothered. In fact, one whose boob size he rated at size B point eight was rubbing her thighs against each other, as if trying to create some friction.
Heh, enough friction to state a fire…
"What the hell kind of bullshit is that?" Dr. Gunn roared at the screen. "The production quality is crap, it doesn't tell you anything, and worst of all, it promotes smoking! Of all the gall!"
Eh, couldn't please everyone.
Now, if only he could have seen Cartman's face when this had come on. He wasn't the only one now with a campaign out now.
Things were getting heated throughout the school by the time lunch arrived but Bain did not find himself filling his stomach. Instead, only minutes before his class was to let out, he was called in to see the principal.
No other word on what it was about but he wasn't concerned about it. He was sure that either the bitch who was his predecessor was bitching up a storm or the announcement that he was in charge of putting together prom had ruffled more feathers than he had realized.
Whatever the case, he wasn't going anywhere. The position he had managed to wretch out of female hands was too important to his plans. He couldn't afford to lose it just yet. Not until everything was set up and it would be too late to do anything about it could he surrender his position.
Taking his seat in front of Principal Victoria's desk, he waited for her to share with him the reason why he was having to skip out on his midday meal.
"What do you know about that video?" Principal Victoria asked, not bothering to give him a standard greeting. No "hello," no "how are you," no "do you know why you're here."
"Caught me off guard just as it has you," Bain answered. "Why? Do you think I had something to do with it?"
"At the moment, there is nothing to say that you had anything to do with it," Principal Victoria admitted.
"Then why have you called me in here?" Bain asked through he was more tempted to demand for an answer than ask for it.
"Both you and I know how…dramatic this particular class of students can be," Principal Victoria explained. "Personally, I'd like to nip this all in the butt fast. I've never dreamed that anyone would try to politicize something like prom and especially in this way!"
That's what she was concerned about, eh? Bain would admit that while he should have expected something like this to happen, he had nevertheless been caught off guard by it all the same. Still, he had already begun thinking of ways on how to possibly use it. There was always a silver lining in things; you just had to look for it.
"I am curious how someone was able to find Mark Block," Bain said, "but I doubt there's a way to nip this in the butt. With someone as…politically sensitive as Eric Cartman, he'll bring in outside forces to insure that he's not, how do you say, being oppressed. Free speech and all."
"That is true," Principal Victoria acknowledged.
"What about trying to regulate it?" Bain suggested.
"Regulate it?" Principal Victoria repeated.
"If left to its own devices, this whole prom election will spin out of control," Bain explained. "Instead of trying to stifle it, control it. Try and limit the damage so that the mess isn't worse than it can be."
"Go on," the principal urged. She was practically drinking this all up.
"This is also an election year, correct?" Bain mused. "Claim this is an…educational experience, getting your students who will be eligible to vote ready for November by giving them experience of the political process."
"That sounds overly complicated but it just might work," the principal said. "But if this is going to be anything like real politics…"
"Just tell them that if they want to put up ads or do debates or whatever it is they want, they have to put up the capital and materials themselves," Bain advised. "Say that you are in no way supporting nor opposing a student. Take no sides. Let them battle each other and you come out relatively unscathed."
"This is insane," Principal Victoria muttered to herself.
"But insane enough to work," Bain replied smoothly. "Think of the alternative."
The principal visibly shuddered at that thought. That was how Bain knew he had her.
"Alright, we'll do it your way but only if you will be the one responsible if anything goes wrong," Principal Victoria agreed while added a condition of her own.
That gave Bain pause. Huh, he figured that she would have just accepted his worldly inspired solution at face value. This meant that he was going to have to interact with all those morons, cretins, cunts, and whores and he would have no choice. He could think of no worse Hell other than the one he was already destined for.
But what other choice did he have? If everything was to go the way he wanted them…
"Very well," he said, his agreement forced.
"I do not envy your position," Principal Victoria told him. "For what it's worth, good luck."
Now he saw; this was for forcing his way into that cursed prom committee. Well, two would play this game!
"Is there anything else that you needed to speak about?" he asked, doing his best not to show that he was having to force the question out. He did not like having to submit himself to deferring to her but anything to get her off his back and unaware.
"Other that shoring up the prom budget?" the principal replied. "I hope you have some ideas for that, by the way."
Ah, back to the issue of money, the same problem he kept running into. "I'm sure I'll think of something to sure up the treasury," he said. "If you're low, you can always go to Black Market."
"The last thing I want to do," Principal Victoria muttered, looking away for a second. "Anyway, I hope you do come up with some ideas quick. Otherwise…"
"I understand," Bain said. "Now, if you have no further need for me, I have to go nourish myself."
"What?"
"Eat."
"Right. You go do that," Principal Victoria said, dismissing him.
Taking his leave, Bain moved quickly from the office, his mind mulling over everything. He now had greater responsibility but when it came down to the pivotal moment, it might serve to aid him. As long as the Sunny girl kept up her end, then this was just a mild stumble, something that would mean nothing in the long run. If all went well, then his, and here he struggled to admit it, assistant would be making contact for the first of many transactions.
In the meantime, appearances needed to be kept. No one would notice her but now that he was out in the school's spotlight as never before, he was going to have to do the one thing he had never had reason to do.
Be diplomatic.
If this didn't kill him…well, it had better be all worth it. End of story.
Author's Note: I am posting a poll on my profile in which you will get the opportunity to vote for South Park's prom queen and prom king. I haven't been able to figure out just who will win so I am giving you all the opportunity to decide for me. Polling will remain open for a few chapters so don't wait, vote as soon as possible. Remember what happened to Stan when he refused to vote for school mascot.
On another note, yes, I ripped off the Herman Cain political ad from 2011 for Kenny's ad. First and foremost, South Park is about satire, i.e. making fun of stuff. If you haven't guess by now, yes, I am going to be mocking the 2012 Republican presidential nominees. It's going to be a hilarious ride so sit back as the insanity begins.
Disclaimer: I do not own Herman Cain's 2011 political ad.