Action. Adventure. Kids arguing in school basements. What'll happen next? Find out next time... right now.

Chapter 11: The Worst of the Best of Us

Stomping through the darkened basement hallways, Helga clenched her fists and scowled at no one in particular. She could feel the steam shooting out of her ears as she struggled with aimless feelings of rage, confusion, and one other emotion she refused to acknowledge. Fueled by adrenaline, her only objective was to hurt Ludwig however she could, regardless of the consequences. The boy had clobbered her in the eye when she was only nine, and three years later she still held a grudge for the shiner he'd left her with.

"Eye for an eye…" Helga grumbled to herself.

"Helga?" came a familiar voice.

Like a startled animal, Helga jumped and did a one eighty turn in midair in her surprise. She raised her fists at the source of the voice, but when she realized who it was she lowered them slowly.

"Patty?" Helga asked.

Patty poked her head out from around a dark corridor as did Harold, and both of them emerged from the shadows.

"Madame fortress mommy!" Harold remarked.

"What are you doing down here?" Patty asked.

"Me?" Helga huffed, "What are you two doing crouching in the dark together…?" She raised a knowing eyebrow.

Patty crossed her arms and gave Helga a stern look, as Harold just scratched his head, looking confused as ever.

"We had a little falling out with Ludwig." Patty said at last, "And we'd already cut class so… here we are. What about you?"

Helga pounded her fist against her palm, "Well, I'm off to make Ludwig's dentist rich enough to retire early." she said with false confidence in her voice.

Patty crossed her arms and looked at her strangely. Harold too scratched his head as he looked at Helga, who hadn't looked so furious in years.

"Probably a bad idea." Patty said, "I mean, you may think you're a hardened soldier… but you're still going up against a tank."

"And an army." Harold added.

Helga shook her head and placed her hands on her hips.

"When did you two go so soft?" she asked.

Patty clenched her fists and scowled down at Helga.

"I'll show you soft…" but suddenly her expression softened and she smiled reluctantly, "You know… maybe you're right. But I don't think that's such a bad thing."

"I disagree." Helga waved her hand dismissively, "Kill or be killed will forever be the Pataki motto. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a death wish to go fulfill. See you in the funny papers. Or the obituaries."

Helga turned to leave but suddenly felt herself walking in air as Patty lifted her by the back of her shirt and held her in the air.

"Hey!" Helga shouted and flailed, "Lemme go you big… Patty!"

"Sorry, little bruiser," Patty said, "I'm not gonna let you just go get yourself pummeled. Why don't we uh… talk instead?"

The Mitigator headquarters had fallen quiet now. The heated argument that had finally driven one of if not their best fighter away had subsided, but tension and a lack of resolve still hung heavy in the air. Gerald and Arnold still weren't speaking to one another after their blowup, and everyone else just seemed demoralized now.

Arnold stood with his hands in his pockets, still wearing his apparently legendary 'dark' look. He didn't even fully realize that his brief mischievous streak last year had caught the attention of the rest of the class, but then he typically acted so calm and mild-mannered he couldn't deny in hindsight that little display surprised even him.

"Okay, Arnold." the voice of Rhonda appeared behind him suddenly. He turned and saw her standing with her hands on her hips and glaring at him.

"Rhonda?" He asked.

"No one else is going to say it so I'm going to. It's time to get over yourself, Arnold." she said, "I know better than most people how Curly spreads crazy like a virus, but you're better than that. You and Gerald are both so much better than what you've been giving us today."

Arnold sighed and shook his head, "Why do you suddenly care?"

"You patched up things between Nadine and me once," Rhonda said, "Who knows if our friendship would have even survived without your intervention… the least I can do is return the favor."

"You really don't have to-"

"Yes I do Arnold, you've done more for people around here including myself than we'll ever deserve, and you need us now." Rhonda insisted, "I may not be caught in the middle of your friendship, but I simply can't abide a world where Arnold and Gerald aren't like this." she held up her crossed fingers, "If it weren't for you two, I'd just be a shallow narcissist concerned with the material things in life… oh, speaking of which, Sheena and I finished your 'Captain Sanctimony' suit… what do you think?"

She pulled out a full body turquoise unitard, complete with a red flannel pattern cape. Arnold glowered at her in response.

"You have got to me kidding me…" Arnold said.

"I admit it's pretty garish but with your unique sense of style… I think it works." Rhonda mused.

"Seriously though?" Arnold asked, "We're going with 'Captain Sanctimony?' Not really flattering…"

"No, that was actually a good suggestion by Helga." Rhonda said, "Captain Sanctimony really is fitting for you."
"Thanks…?" Arnold said skeptically.

"Yes, yes, I know that's normally a bad thing, making a big show about your moral superiority because let's be honest who can really claim to be morally superior?" Rhonda mused, but then she looked at Arnold, "If anyone could… that would be you. And not in a bad way either. Sure, you're as human as the rest of us, so of course you're going to mess up here and there, but just look at how many people you've inspired to be better than they were. You may not like it, but you're an example to kids everywhere. You're an ideal they want to strive for. You're… you're Arnold. And just look what happens when you're anything but the Arnold we all know. Everything falls apart. We need you now."

Rhonda's words stung Arnold. He had done little beyond mope or just be outright petty today, and now Eugene's enormous humanitarian effort had been all but ruined by his and Gerald's squabbling. Worse still, they had driven Helga away, who despite her volatility really had only been trying to help. The sheer weirdness of the day's events felt more and more apparent. As if the entire grade cutting classes to both resurrect and prevent Trash Can Day in differing extremes somehow didn't solidify the strangeness before, and yet somehow Rhonda Wellington Lloyd giving him blunt but sensical life advice did.

"Rhonda…?" Arnold asked, "You've… changed."

Rhonda smiled at him, "We're all changing every day, Arnold, sometimes in good ways sometimes in bad ways. But if there's one thing we've all learned from you, it's that we have the choice to change for the better. Even if we all have a little bit of a dark side, we don't have to let it take over, right 'Dark Arnold?'"

Arnold returned her smile, and then looked over in the direction of Gerald, who seemed to be conversing with Nadine. Arnold snapped his head back at Rhonda and he gave a small smirk.

"I see you have Nadine working on Gerald too…" he said.

"You have a talent for bringing people together, Arnold," Rhonda said, "Now what was it you once told Nadine and me? Oh right. Stop acting like a baby and go tell him you're sorry."

Gerald meanwhile was getting a similar lecture from Nadine.

"It's a tough life, being the sidekick, I know." Nadine said.

"I'm not a sidekick…" Gerald grumbled.

"That's right." Nadine said, "What you are now is just a big baby."

"Say what?" Gerald huffed.

"You were Gerald, the coolest kid in school and the keeper of all legends, and now you're just being a spiteful jerk, and all just because you let a few words get to you." Nadine insisted. "You just let them crawl into your skin and into your core like bugs, injecting a venom into you and turning you-"

"This is the most I've ever heard you talk, Nadine…" Gerald noted.

"Yeah. That's how you know this is serious." Nadine continued, "You and Arnold are more than just friends, you guys have a responsibility because you both inspire the rest of us. We're all afraid of what's about to happen, and I know you two are too."

"Wrong." Gerald said. "Only thing I'm scared of is not making it home in time for Pop Daddy with all this garbage going on."

"It's okay to be afraid, Gerald." Nadine urged, "But when fear turns you into something else… remember your own story. You said the Legend of Dark Arnold was a cautionary tale, that even the best of us can go bad…"

Gerald suddenly felt a wave of realization come over him, and he suddenly saw himself as a stubborn cynic who couldn't event take his own advice; someone he had no desire to be ever again.

"I guess we're all cracking just a little…" Gerald sighed, as a loud barking sound issued from the closet nearby, "Some of us more than others… but I see what you mean. Thanks Nadine."

"You're a cool guy, Gerald. You've never been Arnold's sidekick and you've got to stop telling yourself that." Nadine said with a smile. "But he's your partner. And you two need each other. You need Arnold's idealism, and Arnold needs your realism… together you're an unstoppable team."

Across the room, Gerald could see Arnold talking to Rhonda, and he was now looking back in his direction. It became quickly apparent that Rhonda and Nadine were in on this together, but it didn't matter to Gerald now. He stood up and saw Arnold doing the same. As Rhonda and Nadine encouraged the two boys, they took some tentative steps closer and closer to one another as all the other kids started to watch with wonderment and admiration.

Suddenly, before the two boys could reach one another a low thumping sound stopped them both in their tracks. Arnold and Gerald weren't alone in noticing this, and all the other kids glanced around the room as the pounding started to grow progressively louder. Gerald turned his attention to a small glass of water sitting on one of the computer tables. As he looked at it he could see small concentric circles rippling at the surface. The kids all exchanged unnerved looks, and slowly their eyes all panned over to the door.

The door opened, and flanked by two of Gino's thugs, the even more mammoth sixth grade titan Ludwig stepped through into the Mitigator's formerly secret base of operations.

The End. They all died.

Well, no... but that does feel like a likely outcome. Too bad. Things were starting to look up there just a little. Guess you'll have to see what comes next.