Thank you, my lovelies, for the reviews and follows. My poor babies are so screwed up. I truly am a sadist, but I'll fix them. Haha.
Songs: Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard, Halo by Beyonce
"What the hell are you doing, Mom?" Henry exclaimed, not finding any humor in the situation.
Regina wiped at her eyes, not even bothered by the fact that her son cursed at her. It seemed very low on the scale of importance at the moment. Katy took a couple steps towards her, stopped, dropped her hands to her sides. Anger made sense to her, but this hysterical laughter unnerved her far more than Regina's ire ever had. Henry blew past her and grabbed his mother by the shoulders, sobering her slightly.
"Mom, why are you kissing Aunt Ruby? What about Ma? What about Belle!" He squeaked, suddenly remembering the pregnant woman. "Mom, what about Belle's babies? If she stop believing in their True Love, she could lose them like you almost lost Annabel," Henry pontificating, throwing all of his concerns at her at once, but the last one killed the last of her laughter and grounded her in reality. Ever the budding hero, he thought of how her actions affected everyone but him. He possessed a big, stupid, beautiful heart just like his mother who went gallivanting off on her own personal memory crusade.
"Henry," she started, chuckled again and touched her flushed cheeks. "Something has happened."
"Yeah, you're cheating on Ma with Ruby," he seethed angrily and stomped towards the stairs.
"Henry, that's not true," Regina called and chased after him. "Please stop and allow me a moment to explain the situation."
He paused halfway up the stairs. Crossing his arms, he turned to glare down at her, his anger and hurt palpable. Regina set a hand on the bottom swirl of the rail and glanced at Katy, who had already begun following her with her arms also crossed. She looked more mortified than angry, and Regina squeezed her forearm when she came into reach.
"There has been an unforeseen development. Two nights ago, Annabel accidentally thrust Emma and I into a dreamscape. Eva managed to retrieve us before our minds were harmed, but upon doing so, Emma and Ruby accidentally swapped bodies. I was not kissing Ruby a moment ago. I apologize you found out in such a manner, but we had hoped to keep the entire debacle from you to protect you." Regina glanced between the two, gauging their reactions.
Henry plopped onto the stairs, knees spread wide, arms atop them. He looked torn between fear and laughter. Finally, he gave into the levity of the situation and cracked a smile. Katy, however, paled dramatically. She stepped away from Regina, horrified.
"Katyline?"
"You should have told us," Katy scathed, her voice deep and raspy with emotion. "You didn't think that one of us may have sought advice or solace with either Ruby or Emma?"
"Katy," Regina tried, but Katy stepped away from her reach once more, holding her arms more tightly around her ribs.
"We aren't too young to understand this situation, Regina. Why didn't you tell us!" Katy's hysteria swelled with each passing second. The poor girl sucked air far too quickly to be supplying her body properly with oxygen, face reddening intensely.
"Katy, calm down," Regina instructed soothingly, touching the girl's shoulders. "What's wrong?" Katy leaned against the banister and looked fit to pass out or murder someone if the wild, panicked glint in her eyes said anything about her mental state.
"Katy," Regina tried again.
"No, just stop!" Katy shoved her away aggressively. "Does anyone ever just tell the truth?" The words struck Regina cold, and the two women simply stared at each other. She was right, of course. Katy lost her innocence long ago, and their choice to harbor secrets from her could only further damage the original issue she'd developed with the four of them in the first place. The desire to take back the decision to exclude Katy from the body swapped burned hotly in Regina's chest.
"Regina!" Belle's frantic voice called to the sorceress as the front door slammed. "Regina, we have a problem. Katy, Henry, hello." She cleared her throat and touched her hair, pulling a handful through her closed hand and forcing a clenched smile on her face.
"What's happened, Bookworm?" Regina asked, not daring to reach out and touch the woman after their spat earlier that morning. She suspected Ruby advocated forgiveness or Belle desperately needed her assistance. Either way, Regina decided not to push the issue.
Ruby came into view. She walked backwards up the foyer steps, stumbled on the last one and somehow managed to catch her balance somewhere in the middle of the hardwood floor. Regina's brow pinched, and she fought the urge to laugh. Belle fidgeted anxiously and leaned close to the elder witch.
"Uhh, Emma is, umm," she whispered and then glanced at Henry and Katy nervously.
"Oh shove it," Katy berated the nervous woman and crossed her arms. The urge to bolt to the safety of her room battled the desire not to be excluded any longer. Belle jerked at the harsh words and touched a hand to her chest.
"They know, Belle. What's wrong with Ruby?" Regina deadpanned and pinched the bridge of her nose. She suffered from a near-constant migraine since the dreamscape and made a mental note to purchase more Excedrin. Belle's supply ran thin after two days of taking them every six hours as the bottle instructed.
"Just say the thing, Baby," Ruby said in Emma's voice. She sounded embarrassed, and the anticipation built. Holding out her hands towards the wall, she turned her face into her shoulder, eyes shut tightly.
"Okay," Belle exclaimed breathlessly. "Every time I say, 'pour some sugar on me,' Ruby…" she stopped as a loud crash interrupted her. Regina jumped as a ball of pink magic burst from Ruby's hands and slammed into the wall, sending drywall flying.
Henry made a sound of awe and disbelief above them and then clapped a hand over his mouth to hide his smile. Katy snorted in frustration and dropped her forehead to her hand. The war between laughing and crying shone brightly on her tired features. Belle grinned sheepishly, eyebrows climbing to the sky. Regina opened her mouth and shook her head as nothing slid over her tongue.
"Well, that is an odd phrase to trigger Emma's magic," she finally muttered. Ruby groaned and slumped to the floor cross-legged and leaned her elbows all the way to floor to prop up her head. Blonde curls bounced oddly around her face, already tangled in spite of the brushing she'd given them earlier.
"As I stated, we have a problem," Belle reiterated.
"Of course, you do," Katy sniped and pushed past her, retreating to the basement, her safe place. Apparently, she'd settled on broken frustration. Regina moved to follow her, comfort her, but Belle jumped in front of her.
"Regina, please. I'll take care of her. Ruby can't look at me or the same thing happens," Belle begged with her big blue eyes, hands hovering near Regina's shoulders to block her from chasing her daughter.
Regina nodded. Belle never condemned Katy, despite every reason she'd given her. "I'll take Ruby out back and start working control exercises. Don't allow her to push you away, she very much enjoys hugs," Regina instructed.
"Thank you," Belle gushed and grabbed Regina's face, planting a firm kiss on her cheek before flouncing towards the basement.
Regina took a deep breath and glanced up at Henry. "Want to help?" She asked. The boy's face lit up, and he nearly tripped down the stairs, a tribute to his heritage of clumsiness. "Will you move Annabel's playpen to the back deck? It's warm enough today for her to experience fresh air."
Belle smiled at the murmur of voices above her as she descended into the cooler part of the house in search of the young warrior. No one quite knew how to handle her anymore, but Belle decided to figure it out as they went. She tapped on the wall and stepped into the room confidently.
"Go away," Katy seethed.
"Katyline Katherick Swan, sit down and shut up," Belle ordered, hands clasped calmly in front of her hips. Katy fumed, and her hands pulled into white-knuckled fists at her thighs. Belle raised an eyebrow at the defensive aggression but made no other acknowledgement that she'd even noticed the fury rolling from the young woman. After a minute and the realization that Belle was neither scared nor intimidated, Katy slumped onto her bed, scooting backwards until her back touched the wall.
"What?" She demanded, crossed her arms over her stomach, and pulled her knees towards her chest.
"I love you," she declared unexpectedly. "After Captain's death, I was the first person you spoke those words to, do you remember?" Katy nodded and bowed her head at the same time. She clutched at the little wooden pendant around her neck and breathed deeply, controlling her emotions.
Belle threw her hands in the air and paced across the small room. "I'm so angry with you, Katy. What you did was reckless and stupid. The betrayal hurts far worse than the pain from our attacks." She twirled in a graceful rage and paced the opposite direction. "People almost died, Katy. I myself was beaten unconscious and forced to flee Storybrooke because I feared for the life of my children." She covered her stomach with both hands and changed directions again.
"Everything that happened made us question each other, question our relationships, our love, our own bloody sanity. So, yes, we are having problems right now as much as you are. The difference between us and you at the moment is the fact that we are up there, facing our problems and fears and pain together," she jerked her finger towards the ceiling as she stopped in the center of the room and fixed the young woman with a white-hot glare. "We're not hiding in the basement feeling sorry for ourselves."
She held up a hand when Katy opened her mouth to speak. "Ah! I'm talking," Belle shut her down quickly and waited for her to slump back against the wall in a pout.
"I didn't run away because I was afraid that I'd be persecuted for my actions at Breck. I left because something else was more important than the contrition and punishment I've craved for over thirty years. I had a chance for a proper atonement, finally, and I missed it because my children came before the cleansing of my own soul.
"Everything we have done since the curse broke was to protect the people of this town and each other and our children. You're angry at us, fine, just fucking say it. Tell us how angry you are. Tell us how much you blame us for Captain's death. Tell us how you wanted us to suffer." Belle stepped back when Katy flew off the bed and betrayed every instinct that bade her defend herself against the aggressive maneuver, but the girl only took an extra step forward and grabbed her shoulders.
"I fucking hated all of you!" She screamed in Belle's face. "You had your perfect fucking family, and your perfect fucking relationships. You invited me into that, but it never felt real. I had no one, and the fucking Heroines of Storybrooke took me under their wings because that's who they are. It wasn't about me! Do you even know how that felt? How pathetic it made me feel, that I'd been adopted out of pity?"
"Yes, I do," Belle came back heatedly and broke the painful grip on her shoulders with a twist of her elbows. "I felt the same way after being released from the asylum in which Regina held me prisoner for 28 years. I thought the same thing for months, and then I believed they tolerated my presence because of Ruby's love for me. And, why shouldn't I have believed that? I was virtually useless, a child who didn't know better than to stick a fork in a bread crisper while it was red hot, who didn't know how to eat pancakes properly, drive a car, use a blow dryer or even a shower. I was a liability to them." She paused to allow the words to sink into the girl's grief-addled brain.
"I was wrong, Katy, and so are you," Belle drove home her point, and Katy staggered backwards. The backs of her knees hit the bed, and she tumbled to the safety of the soft landing, falling forward to drop her face into her scarred and callused hands.
"I messed everything up, Belle. I didn't realize how much I needed them until it was too late. I know I was wrong about them, but I'm not you, I screwed everything up," Katy lamented and then fell silent when her shoulders shook too hard with tears to speak more.
Belle breathed a sigh of relief as she sat beside the broken young woman and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "It's never too late as long as you have the will to fight for what you want. Regina and I are living proof that even the most heinous transgressions can be accepted if not immediately forgiven."
Katy sobbed harshly and collapsed into the librarian's lap, wrapping her arms around her waist as she pressed her face into Belle's belly. Belle immediately tossed an arm over her waist and leaned over to press her lips against Katy's frizzy, dirty blonde hair. Calm settled over the reserved former princess. She knew pain, how to handle it, how to detect it, how to grieve.
"Katy, has anyone spoken to you about the child you lost?" She asked tenderly, the words barely a whisper into the girl's ear. She shook her head without removing her face from Belle's stomach. "Would you like to?"
Katy shook her head again, lifting her face to meet Belle's watery blue eyes. "Not yet. I don't even know how to begin processing that. I knew for a few weeks before the miscarriage. It was… she's better off this way."
"You were having a daughter?" Belle asked, her compassionate voice catching in her throat. Her chest clenched with the remembrance of her own lost child. She'd never asked the sex, never wanted to know. Somehow, that made it more difficult to process after the fact.
"The hospital keeps a lot of it's old equipment in the basement. I used the old ultrasound that runs over your belly and then did a lot of research to find out what everything was," Katy explained, and Belle smiled. "I was going to name her after my mother, Kaylin."
"That's a beautiful name. If one of these pups is a girl, Ruby and I are going to name her after Granny and my mother," Belle shared, connecting with the girl. "Elizabeth Brunetta Lucas."
"Brunetta?" She wrinkled her nose, and Belle smiled as Katy sat up and wiped at her eyes.
"Yes," she laughed. "My mother thought it sounded pompous, which is why Bethany and I have such simple names," the librarian explained with a hint of sadness in her eyes.
"Do you miss her?" Katy's old eyes clutched at Belle's heart, and the young witch nodded.
"Every day. I blamed Bethany for her death for the longest time. It wasn't fair to her, and I think if I'd just accepted her death for what it was, an accident, an unexpected and horrible random event, I might have saved Bethany a decade of suffering." She wiped her tears bravely and dared to smile at the young woman staring at her with wonder in her eyes. Her guilt for Bethany's childhood only intensified when she confided the mutilation to her body, but she hadn't the time to process that just yet, especially when Katy looked at her like she'd finally found something firm and tangible to cling to.
"We all feel irrational guilt and anger and place blame where it does not belong, Katy. Don't look so shocked," she gently berated the teen, and Katy averted her gaze to the hands clasped painfully in her lap.
"Do you think she'll ever forgive you?" Katy asked, genuinely seeking guidance. She felt so lost in the sea of guilt and pain and anger that she wondered if she'd ever find a beacon of hope to guide her path.
"She already has," Belle murmured and covered Katy's hands with a trembling one of her own. Surprisingly, the girl turned one of hers over and pressed Belle's palm between hers. "I've found that forgiving myself is much more difficult."
"I can't disagree with that." She laughed self-deprecatingly and returned her red-rimmed, hazel eyes to Belle's equally puffy baby blues. "This really is the family to be in when you've fucked up beyond repair and need other fucked up people in your life just to make you feel sane, isn't it?"
Belle laughed, a genuine and mournfully joyous sound, and nodded. "I think you're in good company, Sweetheart."
"We should have t-shirts or refrigerator magnets made or something. 'Fucked up? Welcome to the Swan-Lucas clan,'" she quoted their family motto and waved her hand in the air in an arc. Belle chuckled and wrapped Katy in a hug, and her niece returned it without a fuss
"Thank you," she murmured against Belle's aching breast. The librarian craned her neck, meeting her eyes in confusion, and Katy shrugged. "For telling me how angry and upset you are with me. It makes it easier to accept the things that I did. Everyone is so focused on what happened to me that I don't even feel like a human being anymore. I'm just a pitiable victim of a psychopathic predator, and I'm not denying that I was, but I also made most of those decisions of my own free will."
Belle dropped a kiss to her forehead. "You'll make it up to us, Katy, but we also have to give you that chance. You're young, but you're not a child who didn't know right from wrong. You were vulnerable, and someone took advantage of that, but we're still allowed to be angry with you as much as you reserve the right to be angry with us for not being there for you. We'll find a way to the other side together," Belle promised and slid a hand over the girl's poofy hair.
"I don't know if I'm strong enough to face everything," Katy admitted. "Everyone looks at me like this invincible person because I'm tough and unemotional."
"You mean the way every single person in this town views their four heroines." The last two words slid over her tongue with such contempt that Katy actually stiffened against her. Point made, Belle continued, "We'll help you through that if you open up and let us. I can't promise we'll never be angry at you or confront things that will hurt everyone involved, but between the four of us, we've done so many harmful things to each other that we're practically experts on the subject."
Katy appreciated the levity in the statement and sat up to study the older woman. "Is Ruby going to take Alex from me?"
Belle shook her head. "Absolutely not. We're a family, and you two are made for each other."
Katy laughed and pulled her hair from its elastic band to straighten it after their crying match. "She grew on me eventually," she joked as she pulled her hair into a loose pony tale at the nape of her neck.
"So? You quoting Def Leppard turns Ruby on?" She teased.
Belle rolled her eyes. "I'd never heard the song before today when it played on the speaker at the grocery store. It was catchy. I sang the lyrics, and the next moment, frozen chicken is skittering across the floor half-cooked," Belle recounted animatedly, finding more humor than she should have in Ruby's predicament. Katy laughed outright, imagining the entire scene.
An explosion vibrated above them, followed by the sound of Ruby yelling about something. Two mouths tugged upwards in a small smile. "Never a dull moment," Belle muttered and smiled at the teen. "Care to go laugh at my fiancée with me?"
"You're sure they want me there?" The reticent warrior sought reassurance like a child.
Belle smoothed a hand over her hair once more and held the back of her head in a motherly caress. "No, I can't make that promise, but I want you there and I can promise not to leave you to fight alone as long as you're willing to fight."
Katy nodded shyly and followed Belle from the room. As they approached the door in the kitchen that led to the patio, Katy reached down and snagged Belle's hand in a sweaty death grip. Belle returned the tight pressure and nodded encouragingly. She wasn't alone, all of them were imperfect and never pretended to be anything else, and she never had to be unless she decided to live that way.