I hope you're not disappointed that I'm updating after two weeks and not six or more months. If you're surprised, so am I. I thought you all might prefer a shorter chapter with a shorter wait, so as with the last chapter, even though there's more I wanted to add in, I decided to leave that for anther chapter and get you an update sooner rather than later.

Early Spring 2011

They went to a restaurant on Chicago's Riverwalk, which had an amazing view of the river, the lights from the city reflecting in the peaceful, rippling water.

The atmosphere was peaceful and relaxed. They talked about everything and nothing. They both felt so comfortable around the other. There was never any effort, any awkwardness. Towards the end of their meal, Alicia's phone rings. She sees on the caller ID that it's Eli. She accepts the inevitable, that she'll have to talk to him sooner or later and decides to just get it over now.

Will is only privy to Alicia's end of the conversation.

"Hello, Eli."

"No."

"Eli, we've talked about this before."

"I'm not going to be there and neither are the kids."

"You're the brilliant publicist / campaign manager. You'll figure something out."

"Goodbye, Eli."

Will insisted on paying, and after they left, he casually asked, "What was that about, with Eli?"

She'd told the kids, obviously, as well as their mothers and Owen, but that was it. It was one of Chicago's best kept secrets for the past few weeks.

"There's a press conference Sunday that Eli wants me to attend. I've already told him several times that I won't be there, but you know Eli. He doesn't take no for an answer."

"So do you think he'll persuade you in the end?"

She took a deep breath looking out at the river, "No, not this time."

As she stood watching the water, he wondered what she was thinking. He could see the wheels turning.

She broker her trance and turned to face him. "Want to go for a walk?"

The weather in Chicago this time of year is still pretty chilly at night, but it wasn't freezing. Clearly, the cold must not be bothering her, or she wouldn't have suggested staying outdoors. He was happy to be anywhere if it were with her. "Sure."

She did find the air a bit too cold for her liking, but she appreciated feeling cold. If she felt cold, then she didn't feel numb. She'd spent too much time the past two years feeling numb.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. His curiosity to know what was going on in that mind of hers continued to grow.

She appreciated that Will didn't pry. She was reflecting on that now. The whole time she'd known him, he'd never been one to push her for answers the way so many other people in her life did. He let her be. He didn't poke, prod, over analyze her every move.

"Peter has a press conference Sunday." She hesitated, thoughtful, taking a deep breath. "He's announcing the divorce."

He was struck speechless. He really had no clue what to say. He was trying to read her for clues how she felt about it. He'd resigned himself to what had seemed to be a reconciliation between Alicia and Peter. To hear now that they were getting a divorce was completely out of left field. When the scandal broke, a year ago, even six months ago, it would have come as no surprise, but now…

"How are Zach and Grace handling it?" Finally a thought that managed to travel from his mind to his mouth.

"Good. Really good. At this point, I think they knew it was coming eventually. It's sort of easier that it's actually happening versus the uncertainty of if, when."

"And what about you, how are you handling it?" This is what she loved about talking to Will. He didn't tell her what she should do or what she should think.

"I want to move on. I want to move past all of the horrible feelings. I just want it to be over. After the press conference, the media will likely be all over it for a while, but once that dies down, I want to be able to be able to go on with my life. The marriage ended a long time ago.

"Leesh, I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"That you didn't get your happily ever after."

They stopped and were seated on a bench in a queit spot. They weren't particularly close to any of the restaurants, and not very many people were taking a stroll in the cold. She kept her gaze on the water as she continued.

"I only married Peter because I was pregnant with Zach."

For the second time this evening, Will was rendered speechless. "I mean, I wasn't pregnant when he first proposed. At that time, I said yes, but I was having, I don't know if it was cold feet or genuine second thoughts. Then, while I was still being wishy washy about what I wanted to do, I found out I was expecting. I was six weeks; the wedding was scheduled for the end of summer. I was mortified to walk down the aisle 20-something weeks pregnant, so we rescheduled and had the wedding at the end of May, before I started to show.

Will's mind is working double time. He's listening to her and remembering that timeframe at the same time.

"I thought you moved the date because Crozier, Abrams, and Abbott offered you the option of starting in June versus September."

"That's what we told everyone. The only person who knew the real reason, aside from Peter, was my father, at least initially."

Spring 1994

All sobs and sniffles, he can barely make out what she's saying. But he's patient. He doesn't push. He doesn't prod. He gives her her space, let's her take her time.

"I'm pregnant." More sobs and sniffles. "What am I going to do?"

"Who's the father?"

She rolled her eyes through her tears. Wasn't it obvious? "Peter. Who else?"

"Well, then what are you so upset about? You two are getting married in a few months."

What was she so upset about? Because now the commitment felt more real. She really was going to be marrying Peter, even though she was in love with….

When she was slow to respond, "Are you thinking of termina -

"Daddy, of course not." As much as she felt she was in the middle of a bad dream, shed never consider abortion. She got herself into this mess, she'd deal with the consequences. She'll do the most responsible thing, marry Peter as planned and start a family, earlier than expected.

"But I'll be showing by the end of August. It will be so embarrassing."

"So move up the wedding. Graduation is in about a month. Reschedule the wedding for right after graduation."

"So we told everyone we were scheduling the wedding around the start date of my new job, so we'd have time for a honeymoon as it would have been difficult to take vacation so soon after starting. My mother and Owen figured it out on their own."

Late Summer 1994

"So how many weeks are you?"

"What?"

"You heard me, Alicia. How many weeks? You think your mother can't figure out you're pregnant?"

It was twelve weeks since the wedding. She wanted to give any number less than twelve, but she knew, no matter how hard she'd tried to camouflage it, she was showing more than a woman in her first trimester.

"Twenty-two."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing you moved up the wedding, or you would have had to alter your gown."

She takes a deep breathe and suppresses the need to roll her eyes.

"So is that why you married Peter, because you got knocked up?"

Veronica had never liked Peter. Alicia was tired of having to defend him to her mother.

"We got engaged before this happened."

"You know Alicia, it's the 90's. Women don't have to get married just because they're pregnant."
"I didn't get married because I'm pregnant."

"So you got married because you're in love?" She knew Alicia too well. She knew Alicia would always chose the responsible thing. She and Alicia were complete opposites. If Veronica took making herself happy to an extreme, Alicia took being responsible to an extreme.

Thanksgiving 1994

"You didn't have to marry Peter just because you were pregnant?"

"Who told you that?"

"No one. I just put two and two together. Remember, I majored in math. So this is the real reason you're with Peter and not Mr. Georgetown?"

What she told Owen last spring was true, and became even more obvious to her when she found out she was pregnant. Will was Mr. Party Man, Mr. Non-Commitment. He had spent the summer backpacking through Europe, while she was dealing with morning sickness. He'd started at a Baltimore firm when he got back, while she was working in Chicago. It wasn't going to work. And what she'd said about Peter was true also. He'd wanted to start a family. He was surprised to find out she was expecting, but marriage and family were part of his plan...and the image he wanted to create for himself.

Will's mind was spinning. Could it be that Alicia really hadn't been as in love with Peter as he had believed? If he had told her how he felt, would he have had a chance? Would he have wanted a relationship with a woman who was expecting another man's child? Well, once he was already in the land of, what if, if he'd had the courage, he could have said something before she'd gotten pregnant.

"So if you hadn't gotten pregnant, you wouldn't have gone through with the wedding?"

She was standing by the railing, looking out at the river as if the answer were to be found there.

"I don't know. I guess, there's no way to know what I would have done."

"I know what you mean...in a way. With Julia. I'd like to think that if Katie had told me, I would have moved to Phoenix or tried to convince her to move back to Baltimore. I don't know that we would have gotten married, but I could have been involved. I missed out on so much of her life. But I really don't know what I would have chosen to do at the time, especially since Katie seems to have wanted to raise her without me."

"Do you think you'd have been up for the commitment?"

"I think I would have stepped up and been responsible. I certainly wasn't thinking about about kids and raising a family at that stage in my life, but if it had happened, I would have taken responsibility. I wouldn't have abandoned my kid.

"I may have given the impression I wasn't interested in commitment; I just didn't have anything to commit to." Because by the time I broke it off with Helena, you were with Dave. When things ended with Dave, I wanted to give you space. Your birthday was coming up in a few weeks, I wanted to plan something special, and then a week before, you met Peter.

"Or anyone you wanted to commit to."

"There was."

"What?"

"Someone I wanted to commit to." It hurt. She wished it didn't, just like she wished it hadn't hurt at Georgetown every time she saw him with someone.

"So why didn't you?"

Because you were taken. "I missed my chance."

"What do you mean?"

"I never told her how I felt, and then it was too late."

They stood there, quiet, each one's eyes focused on the other one. Each one reflecting on their own choices and how they might have chosen differently had they known at the time what they learned tonight.

She broke the silence first. It was hard hearing how he felt about some woman, but at the same time, she wanted him to be happy. She wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. "So how do you know it's too late?"

"She married someone else."

"So why didn't you tell her how you felt before she got married?"

"Because I was never in love before. I guess, I was intimidated by her, by how I felt."

"Will Gardner intimidated by a woman?" She raised her brow at him in disbelief. Mr. Cocky, Mr. Confident, Chicago's sixteenth most eligible bachelor?

"I'd dated a lot of girls, but it never really meant anything. With her, it meant something."

There was a considerably cold gust of wind that disrupted the moment. They agreed it was too cold and too late. Will drove her home and went up for his briefcase, which he'd left behind when they went out. They said they'd be in touch in the morning about meeting up to continue negotiations. And just like at Georgetown, they danced around the elephant in the room, each too insecure and uncertain to be the first one to tell the other how they really felt, convinced that the other one wouldn't want to be more than just friends.

You're such a chicken. What happened to all that carpe diem crap a few months ago? She's divorced Peter. She's single. And you're still just as insecure about telling her how you feel as you were back at law school.

Then an alternating voice in his head cut in, but she's probably vulnerable now. It's like you're taking advantage.

Then another voice, but if you wait, it could be just like after her break up with Dave. You missed your chance before another man came into the picture.

"Okay, so will be in touch in the morning...about the settlement."

"Yeah." Say something.

She's wondering how she can stall this moment. Keep him here longer. She feels empty even before he's left. And it's not because no one else is home. She's spent the night in the apartment alone before, but she's realized, she feels empty without him. How can she ask him to stay without asking him to stay? She wanted him to stay, but she also didn't want to be another notch on his bedpost. She wanted to be with him, and she wanted it to mean something.

She's walked him to the door. Both of their minds are racing, trying to come up with something to say to prolong the moment, battling between voices of their minds versus their hearts.

Alicia, you're being ridiculous. You never told him how you feel because you were afraid you'd get hurt. But you got hurt anyway, by someone else. How many more missed chances do you want?

"Will."

"Yeah."

"I had a really nice time. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Tell her how beautiful she is. "I had a nice time also."

It's awkward and it's intense, all at the same time. Just tell her! "We should do it again sometime." For a guy who's usually so suave with the ladies, why was that sooo hard?

"Yeah, I'd like that." What does that mean? Is that like when friends go out for coffee, or does that mean like a date? I haven't been single in so long. This is weird. I'm over analyzing.

"Okay. So we'll talk tomorrow."

"Have a good night."

"You too."

He went out the door and headed towards the elevator. She was standing by the open door. When she heard the bing signaling the elevator had arrived, she closed the door and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As she was about to open her eyes and move into the apartment, she heard a knock. Checking quickly through the peephole before opening, she opened the door, "Forget something?"

Before he lost his nerve, he closed the distance between them and kissed her. She was caught off guard at first, but then she kissed him back. She didn't know what was coming next, but she knew she didn't want this to end.

Based on her reaction to the kiss, his fears about speaking his feelings were a little bit allayed. Between kisses, "It was you. The one who got away. It was you." Dozens, maybe hundreds of moments; moments of miscommunication; moments of misinterpreted thoughts, actions, and words; moments of bad timing flashed through her mind. Suddenly, they all held new meaning.

Coming up for air, he looked her in the eye, "I've loved you ever since our first year at Georgetown." He'd said it. He'd finally said it. To get the words out hadn't been that back, but now that it was just hanging out there, it felt like an eternity waiting for a response. He wanted to know what she was thinking. If this was going to painful, hopefully, it would be quick.

This time she was the one to kiss him. Then, foreheads touching, she admits, "I was in love with you back then too...and I still am now."

In this chapter, there was a reference to Dave, who was previously mentioned in a flashback in an earlier chapter, I think 5.

In the flashback with Owen, there was reference to another flashback that was from chapter 7.

DISCLAIMER: The Riverwalk is a real place, but I've never been there and did very little research, so I avoided going into a lot of detail.