"WAIT WHAT?" Dave exclaims. You never told me we had a kid! Their argument was cut off by the sound of Dirk and Jake stepping inside.
"Hey Rox! Why didn't you invite us to your tea party?" Dirk asks Roxy only replies with a hiccup and a giggle.
"Oh Roxy.." Rose says sighing, "did you spike the tea?"
"Only mine geez chillax mom! Rose just rolled her eyes and continued her conversation."
"Anyways you never asked so I never told you besides I didn't want to mess up your 'frat boy life style' with a kid so I just raised her myself"
"Wait woah woah woah Bro is Roxy your daughter?" Dirk asks.
"Shut up Dirk! I don't need your commentary especially now of all times"
"Wait we're relat-hic *related"
"guess you are." Dave replied for Dirk "good thing you fell for Jake instead eh."
"Shut up Bro" Dirk replied punching Dave's arm
"you should be glad that Jades roof isn't flat lil man, Or I'd send you up there for a strife."
"Are you actually ever going to strife with me? You always threaten me with it but then pretend you're too busy to actually do it. What if I come across a herd of wild juggalo then what bro?"
"Can you please just shut your face now is not the time kid it really isn't helping."
"Sorry for being concerned about my future as a ninja.." Dave rubs the bridge of his nose then turns his attention back to Rose. "So you're saying the kid chugging the vodka from Jades liquor cabinet is mine?"
"Mhm"
"You know this can cause major negative attention from the press right?"
Hmm? How so? Rose asks.
Because one having a kid will drag down my image, and two it's with you miss boring book writer person.
"I'm really quite flattered Dave." She replies sarcastically but I don't see how having a kid will ruin your image you have Dirk after all"
"You don't get it Lalonde. Dirk is different, Dirk isn't my kid he's a bro. She sighs
"Well it's not like I'm asking you to come out and admit that its your daughter all of a sudden, but the least you could do is spend some time with her and get to know her. Speaking of which you probably remember Kanaya, we're engaged now.
Great for you Lalonde and as you know this is John and for you know he's my as of recent twink boyfriend. Glad we're all acquainted
"Daaaave don't tell people that!" John whines earning a snicker from both Striders.
"I'm glad you two are... enjoying yourselves" Rose replies with a sly smirk. "Now if you excuse me I have a book signing in a few hours and I wouldn't want to be late thank you for having me Jade." Rose says excusing herself
"No problem Rose it was nice having you!" Jade replies cheerily
"Come on Roxy lets go"
"butMoom I don't want tio go to urdumb books signing! Can't I stay here with my friedns?" Rose sighs.
"I suppose but your father has to fly you home."
"What!? No way no one signed me up for this what do you think I am a taxi."
"Dave you don't even fly your own plane you pay someone to do it and sometimes you pay them double."
"Shut up Lalonde it's all part of the experience."
"Mhm anyways can't you consider her just a friend of your son you know what you thought she was before I told you that you were related." Dave begrudgingly accepts and Rose finally leaves.
"Holy shit Dave so you're a dad!"
"Afraid fucking so John, afraid fucking so."