Disclaimer: Stephenie owns Twilight and these characters. I just manipulate them for my own – and hopefully your – enjoyment.

The drink featured in this chapter actually tastes really nasty (don't ever say I skimp on my research!) It's more of a Christmas mulled wine type of drink rather than a flirty vacation cocktail but the name fits in with the story, so just go with it, ok? But please don't try it at home as in this humble writer's opinion it tastes like crap. You have been warned!

As always I_heart_Fifty you rock my world. Even if Facebook deleted your profile for impersonating someone else. I am boycotting them in outrage on your behalf! [Thanks babe!]

IHF and I would like to welcome NegligentMummy into the world of fanfic. We are her enablers… and proud of it! You've inspired me to put some recs at the bottom of this chapter to help guide you through the maze that is FFn, Don't fight it – embrace it. You know you want to.

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BELLA

As the waiter disappeared through the crowd, drink orders in hand, I turned and focused my attention back to Edward, ready in engage him in conversation and try my hand at flirting. Before I could speak I realised he was sitting stiffly in his chair, turned slightly away from me and giving off a very distinctly angry vibe.

For the love of all that was good and holy what had I done? I had somehow managed to fuck this up while ordering a drink. I knew that I'd been too cocky kissing him in the lobby. I'd smothered him with my eagerness with the kissing and the hand holding and the general Bella-ness of the situation. I needed help and I needed it quick. I needed my girls and their freaky silent conversation skills.

I looked across the table at Rose and tried to catch her eye. It took a few seconds until she looked up.

'Help!' I silently pleaded to her, 'something is wrong, very very wrong.'

'Shit, do you know what?' She answered back with her eyes.

'No,' I replied, desperately adding in a little shake of my head to emphasise the negative. I was starting to panic a little and my hands were starting to shake ever so slightly.

She turned to look at Edward then came back to me with an empty expression.

I was beginning to run all sorts of scenarios through my head. Had he now had a good chance to look at me and realised I was not for him? Did he already have a girl back home - and in the cold light of day realised he couldn't cheat on her?

He had taken a good look at Rose and was plotting how he was going to steal her from Emmett. It had happened before, after all. Did he think I was turning into a clinger on him? Again, I cursed myself for the lobby kiss. I was so sure that had been a good idea. Turns out I was wrong again. Just another fuck up to add to my ever growing list.

My thoughts were interrupted by Alice and Jasper arriving somewhat breathlessly back at the table in a flurry of activity. Both were glowing with exertion from dancing and from the excitement of being very much into each other. They sat down, practically in each other laps - they were that close.

"This boy sure can dance!" she exclaimed looking at us, "I could hardly keep up!"

Jasper went on to say how it was the other way around, but I wasn't listening, I was stewing over my current predicament. How in the hell did I keep getting myself into these situations? I thought I left all this angsty 'does he like me, doesn't he like me' game playing in high school. Turns out I was mistaken.

I waited 'til Alice finished talking and looked at me, wanting to repeat the eye-conversation I had just had with Rose.

But I didn't need to. Alice took one look at Edwards's body language and looked at me in alarm her eyes wide and eyebrows arched.

'What's wrong?' she asked me with a look.

'I don't know' I silently screamed with my eyes. My hands were staring to shake more now and I clasped them tightly in my lap to stop anyone from noticing.

She looked at Rose for help, but she just shrugged and looked perplexed.

She sent me a 'trust me' look, took a deep breath and spoke.

"So, boys did you order us a round of drinks or do we need to grab a waiter?" she looked around the table, her gaze finally settling on Edward.

"We didn't have to" he replied politely almost coldly. "The waiter knew exactly where you were all up to" he practically spat out, a smooth blank look on his handsome face.

The tone of his voice set me on high alert, he was definitely pissed about something. I glanced quickly at the girls, their faces mirrored my own and I knew then that my thoughts were right, we were on to something..

Alice spoke again, making sure to keep her tone light. "Where exactly are we up to girls? I've forgotten", she kept her eyes on Edward for any clues that might shed some light on the situation.

Just then the waiter arrived at our table. "Three delicious hot party punches for three delicious ladies" he said, looking straight at me and winking, "and three beers for the gentlemen" he added as an afterthought. He unloaded the drinks off the tray all the while keeping his eyes on me.

I was starting to feel a little flustered from all the attention. In conjunction with the shaking hands and stress over Edward's behaviour I was actually starting to feel a little nauseated. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself - the last thing I needed was to vomit. That would really enhance the mood, way to land your man I thought wryly.

"Will that be all for now?" the waiter asked, still looking at me. I nodded, then swallowed back as gasp as his gaze slid down to ogle my boobs.

"Let me know when you are ready for you next cocktails", he continued smoothly, as though he hadn't just been caught checking out the girls. "My name is Jacob."

"Thank you, we will" I answered tightly and he disappeared back into the crowd, throwing me a wink over his shoulder.

I looked back to Alice, her eyes wide in disbelief. Rose was a mirror image.

'What?' I silently asked. Rose raised her eyebrow, challenging me.

'What?' I repeated with my eyes.

I was looking back and forth between the two of them waiting for an answer, a look, a hint, for anything really. They looked towards where Jacob had disappeared into the crowd and then back to Edward then back to Jacob again.

I was honestly perplexed until Rose looked down pointedly at my boobs, then at where Jacob had been. It took me all of two seconds to realise what they were saying. Was Edward... jealous? Jealous of the waiter?

My mouth opened in a silent surprised 'oh,' my hands stopped shaking at once and the slight nausea disappeared instantly. I looked to Edward and it all made sense. I felt instantly guilty and tugged nervously at the neckline of my top, had I led the waiter on? After looking down I decided that I had about the same amount of boob on display as Alice was and considerably less than Rose but I still felt very exposed. Was I inadvertently flirting with him? I was never actually sure of my 'skills' and frequently the girls had to alert me to the fact that I was trying to be picked up. I looked helplessly back to Alice.

'Fix it, please' I begged her.

She was onto it in a heartbeat.

"Call me Jacob" she scoffed. "Who did he think he was, being so familiar with you Bella? I know they get a lot of their money from tips but being sleazy, winking and copping an eyeful of boob is just not on!" She exclaimed looking around the table at everyone but keeping an eye on Edward to gauge his reaction.

'Thank you thank you thank you'. I sent her looks of gratitude as Edward visibly relaxed beside me.

Rose jumped in at this point. "I hear you Al, a girl should be able to have her assets tastefully on display without attracting unwanted attention." She stressed the unwanted.

"I agree" I said, "it's nice that they are polite and helpful, but I think he's a little too Ken-doll for my tastes, even if I was looking." I held my breath, waiting to see what Edward would do.

"What do you mean, Ken-doll?" Edward asked, a small smile playing on his lips.

"You know, trashy plastic. Cut from the same mould as all the others." I paused, then added, "also, fun to play with for about five minutes 'til the novelty wears off and you realise he doesn't actually do anything, just stands there looking perfect. And he probably has a small dick." I finished quietly.

I was met by stunned silence around that table, then the boys burst out in loud laughter. I looked around to my girls, big smiles on all our faces. Rose motioned to my boobs with her head and silently suggested that I readjust my top to it's previous arrangement. I reluctantly did so and was met with approval from both of them. I leaned a little closer to Edward and relaxed.

Crisis averted, ego well and truly stroked and restored, I raised my glass filled with neon pink liquid and gave a silent toast of thanks and gratitude to my girls.

###

EDWARD

Fuck. I was such an idiot, I realised as the laughter died down after Bella's Ken-doll description. I knew I was being a bit of an ass, but I couldn't help it. Seeing that guy fawn all over Bella and drool over her cleavage just brought out my caveman tendencies.

"Ken-doll, that's a good one" Emmett guffawed, then stopped short.

"Wait a minute," he turned to Rose. "I'm not a Ken-doll, am I?" He had a pouty, almost wounded look on his face.

"No, stud," she said, patting his bulging bicep, "you are more of a GI Joe." Alice and I stifled giggles.

He looked at her blankly. "Explain yourself, woman" he demanded.

"You know, rugged, sexy and bends in all the right places. Oh, and most importantly, anatomically correct" she said with a wink.

We all laughed again and Emmett looked pleased.

I can't believe I had thought Bella wanted that guy's attention. I gave myself a bit of a pep talk. She totally likes you; she jumped you on the beach last night and didn't want to jump into bed the first night. Definitely a good sign, she wants more than a one night stand. Plus, that kiss she laid on you in the lobby should have been a fair indication. I was so stupid sometimes. Also the 'even if I was looking' comment she had made gave me a bit more hope. Man up bro and show her some of that Cullen magic.

I draped my arm along the back of Bella's chair as she sipped her pink drink and leaned in closer to her. I let my breath tickle the side of her neck and felt a swell of pride as she shivered in response.

"You smell amazing, is that a different perfume from last night?" I asked as I nuzzled further in.

She stiffened slightly, her breathing quickened and she blushed a delicious shade of pink before looked up at me from under those long lashes, I felt my cock stir just a little.

"It's all the beauty treatments we had at the spa today" she said shyly. "What can you smell?"

I leaned in closer and inhaled while looking into her eyes, her pupils were huge and I was drowning in them. My cock hardened further. Fuck, this was going to be a long afternoon and evening if I couldn't keep my shit under control.

"Hmm, let me see." I spoke quietly so she had to lean in to hear me better. "Definitely honey, roses and vanilla, plus something fresh and something else sweet?" I asked after another quick inhale. She was intoxicating, mouth-watering and I wanted to lean in closer and lick her. Either that or take her upstairs and fuck her senseless. If I played my cards right then hopefully later I would do both.

She nodded while still looking into my eyes. "You're right, first we had a cucumber and honey wrap, then a frangipani sugar scrub, followed by a vanilla bean massage. Her words faltered as I began to rub my finger along the nape of her exposed neck.

"Go on" I whispered, thrilled by how I was affecting her with the smallest touch. What I was not so thrilled about was how much touching her was affecting me.

"Then a soak in the rose petal bath to finish" she said in a breathy whisper. Her hand fluttered to her chest. I glanced to where she has rested her hand and noticed that she had also had her nails done.

I raised my hand slowly to her chest and took the hand that was still resting there and brought it to my lips. I gave her three light quick kisses over her knuckles, then stretched out her fingers to admire her nails.

"This looks nice" I murmured to her, my voice still low. "I noticed your toes earlier too, very sexy."

Her breath hitched. My cock hardened again, God I was responsive to this girl!

I was torn away from Bella with Alice's voice.

"Ask her what the polish is called Edward." She had a sly little smile on her lips. I felt Bella stiffen in alarm under my hand. I increased the size of my circling on her nape and she relaxed a little, but still remained on alert.

I raised my eyes to Alice and looked at her blankly. I raised my eyebrows, asking for more of an explanation.

"All the nail polishes at the spa come from this range that has fantastic names" she explained. "I'm wearing two shades from the Alice in Wonderland collection." she held her hands out in explanation.

"Called what?" Jasper asked as he picked up her tiny hand to take a closer look at the blue sparkly polish.

"That's 'Mad as a Hatter' on my toes," she gave them a little wiggle which Jasper seemed to appreciate judging by the look on his face, "and 'Absolutely Alice' on my fingers."

"It looks great, babe" Jasper murmured, as he brought her hand to his mouth for a kiss. Bastard stole my move.

"What about you, Dollface?" Emmett asked Rosalie.

"Alice chose first, so I kept with the name theme. I went with 'A-Rose by Dawn-Broke my Noon' for my fingers and 'Ladies and Magenta-men' for my toes." She stretched out her toes, and just like Alice had given them a little wiggle for Emmett's benefit.

He gave a little groan. "Fuck, that's hot" he murmured. "Never have I been so turned on by nail polish or by toes" he groaned, earning a giggle from Rose.

"So Bella," Alice said in her sing-song voice, "are you going to tell Edward the names of yours?" She had a mischievous look on her face.

I looked down at Bella, waiting for her answer. She picked up her glass and slowly drained the remainder of the liquid. I could tell she was stalling for time.

"Come on babe, it can't be that bad" I breathed in her ear. She gave a little shiver; I couldn't tell if it was in excitement or nervousness.

"Well," she said, "I originally chose another colour but the girls made…" she paused for a second as I thought I saw Alice give her a swift kick under the table - "…I mean, persuaded me to go with a slightly more vibrant shade" she finished weakly.

"So," - I prompted her – "What did you go with?" I was not really that interested in the colours she had chosen as they looked great, but her reluctance to tell made me want to know real bad. She took a deep breath and I admired the inciting way her chest rose and fell, I was distracted for a second 'til she spoke in a voice no louder than a whisper.

"'Bronzed to Perfection' for my fingers and 'Feeling Hot-Hot-Hot' for my toes."

I froze for a second and my fingers stilled at the nape of her neck. My mind was racing with the possibilities of how this could play out. Could I gently encourage her to be the girl who jumped me on the beach last night? Or without prompting would she become the girl who kissed me in the lobby? Either way, I hoped my comment was not going to come back to bite me in the ass.

Bella sighed a breathy little sigh and my cock grew uncomfortable in my shorts. That sound brought back the memory of her kisses and the feel of her body last night. I gulped before resuming my stroking.

"So, are you?" I asked in a croak.

She looked up at me, again from under those long eyelashes.

"Am I what, Edward?" she asked sweetly.

"Feeling hot-hot-hot?" I answered with a smirk, thinking I would stun her into silence and produce the mother of all blushes. But what came out of her mouth next floored me.

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A/N Time for some recs! I read lots and these are a few of my faves at the mo:

"Love in My Box" by cosmoandmarvar, a geeky Edward meets a free spirited Bella. It's a mix of emails and dialogue and its laugh your ass off funny.

"Athletics Day" by Dollegirl, a cute little one-shot that makes me smile. High school Bella and Edward, no lemons but plenty of reminders of teenage angst. Dollegirl had written another lemony one shot that is good too plus one other that hasn't updated for ages but I still live in hope!

"Died and Gone to Heaven" by DoUTrustMe. Accidents happen. Sometimes you die and meet God. Sometime you die and meet SexGod. It's a funny story with a witty Bella and a smart mouthed Edward. Not yet complete but I wait with baited breath for each new chapter.

Reviews are better than having Edward admire your manicure!

See you next week

Jul xxx