Hehe did I take you for a spin on the last chapter? Aw it was hard to write. Anyway I decided I would only put these things (I'm not sure what you'd call the bold/italic text at the beginning or end of fanfictions) at either the beginning or end. And I certainly didn't expect the last chapter to be so short.

I really don't want this Book to go over twenty chapters but I don't think that'll happen. Who knows? They still have to cross the bridge and reach the sea of storms and it looks like Clara's out of the picture for now. Hm. I wonder how this is going to turn out. (Not really because I know how it will turn out. I'm the writer! Ha! But you'll just have to keep guessing. AHAHAHAHA! I can be so evil when I want to be.

The next few days were torture. I had my sword fighting lesson in the morning and my job to do after. Not to mention food and the constant worry of bumping into Candy or Mint or… Him.

But at dinner they couldn't stay away. They didn't know anybody else. Well they knew Mr. Malbury. But he didn't eat at dinner.

One thing I didn't know about Mint but should have at least suspected was that he was part of the Kings army to. His commanding officer had been Mr. Malbury. And he had watched Eric and Candy grow up together. That's why he and Candy were their together.

Nothing much happened those days. But one thing was sure. I was fighting my feelings for the Nutcracker. Never had I ever thought I'd go through something that made me feel so vulnerable powerless and weak as the feeling of being in love. I felt like I was easily controlled and falling over myself to please someone so much were I would gladly die a thousand times for.

It was sickening and couldn't in any way be healthy.

I wanted to drag him away from everyone go to a solitary place and sit him down and give him an earful of how he was being immature about this. He refused to speak with me at all. And in hurt. It hurt so badly and it made me feel stupid for feeling hurt by his anger.

I was embarrassed by these sudden feelings and that made me angry.

I knew if I didn't get him away from everybody and I'd just start trying to get his problem out I'd end up spilling my guts about how I felt like I was the reason why everything seemed to be going wrong.

I'd start saying stuff I couldn't possibly mean. Like how I felt like I should just leave and go to the Rat King and ask him to take my head off! I was that hurt by his anger!

I would rather die a torturous, humiliating death at the hand of the Rat than to have the Nutcracker angry with me. That's how sickeningly unhealthy my feelings were. I was scared because I truly felt that. I couldn't stand that. I was beginning to hate myself more and more for my feeling towards the Wooden Prince.

I hated feeling my heart melt just by him giving me a look.

I loathed the feeling of love. It made people go full retard. And I couldn't afford that. I couldn't afford love. I laughed at others who felt the things I feel now. I laughed at how they would go all stupid in the head and have their tongue tied when they tried to speak to the one they loved.

It was absolutely adorable when it happened to someone else but a seriously pain abdominal area for me.

There were so many reasons I could think of why this wouldn't work.

I knew the story of the Nutcracker, and I knew the Clara in the story was supposed to fall in love with the Nutcracker. Or something like that right? But I wasn't the same Clara from the story. That was obvious.

I rather us be friends not anything more or it could get us both (and everyone else for the matter) into serious trouble. Why was love so difficult? Why? Being forever alone was sounding pretty good to me. Not having to worry about getting your heart broken or hurt because someone didn't return your feelings.

I wished I couldn't feel. I wished I was Titanium. Strong and unmovable. Bullet-proof. But I never was.

All these thoughts came and went through my mind as I sat and stared at my casserole. I didn't like casserole.

It was dinner.

I thought long and hard of the emotions that I had. I will admit I was prone to getting small crushes but nothing like this.

I thought and thought and I felt like my brain would explode. I couldn't possibly be in love. Loving romantically was not in my nature. I wasn't easily impressed with males. I cared for most. I loved my family and nearly all children I come into contact with. But loving someone romantically? That didn't seem like me.

I suddenly had a revelation that made a lot of the heaviness in my shoulders fly away. It had to be the fact of my Moon Cycle. That had to be it. It wasn't in love. It was jumbled hormones and brain chemicals.

I could stop falling and start flying again.

I felt so much more relieved that my head was finally cleared that I felt like I could confront him easier now.

Whipping the small smile that had appeared away becoming serious again. Gaining confidence I had to use all my will power to suppress more smiles.

Putting my fork down and pushing my chair out. I leaned back and crossed my arms. I glared at the Nutcracker, "This is stupid," I said bluntly.

Everyone looked at me. I didn't take my eyes off the Nutcracker.

"Stupid and painful," I continued, "You obviously have an issue with me staying here."

Nobody gave an answer.

"Nutcracker will you look at me?" I hissed.

His eyes met mine and my resolve dwindled. I took a breath and quickly built the courage back up, "You and I both know you have done more dangerous stunts than telling a girl how you feel."

He looked away again. I felt everyone stare at us.

I let out a huff, "I am a woman of words and action. I don't feel comfortable discussing this here, so that leaves action."

I stood and walked around the table and gripped his wooden shoulder, "Stand up," I said dangerously soft.

He didn't move.

"Stand. Up," I repeated.

He slowly stood. He was a few inches taller so he towered over me a little.

I ran my hand quickly down his arm and grabbed his hand. I tried to do this as casually as possible, "Keep up, will you? I don't want to rip your arm off again."

I couldn't help but feel amused by the awed looks I got.

I dragged him away and out of the tent. I led him to the one place I knew no one would be.

I sat down on the rock. The rock in which I had watched the fire start.

We sat down and I was very aware of the distance between us.

I took a shaky breath. The Nutcracker wouldn't look at me, "Nutcracker, please! Look at me!"

He turned and in the light of the sliver moon I could just make out his face. Hard crystal eyes stared back at me.

I bit my lower lip biting back tears, "Please. Why won't you talk to me?"

"What is there to talk about?" His reply as cold as snow fairy dust.

"I-I don't know. But I know you're mad at me."

"Of course I'm mad."

"Then tell me why!"

"Because! Because you joined the circus. You left your family. The people who loved and raised you! You had everything Clara! A good home, siblings, a mother and father, and a family who loved you! Why would you give that up for some-some foolish running around! Your family cares about you! Why would you disrespect their love so much as to abandon them?"

I listened closely. And when he ended I took a moment to let his words sink in. I sighed, "Nutcracker. This isn't just a regular circus. It isn't the same circus you saw when you were a kid. This is a circus that helps people find better lives. They help people."

"But what about your family? They—" I cut the Nutcracker off.

"They'd want me to be happy. The pain of giving up my home, my family, and friends… Being surrounded by these people, being about to help out in some way? It made that pain lessen. It made me feel that my decision was right. And helping those in need? That's all I've ever wanted in live. I wanted to have an adventure, to help people who need help. In fact the only other reason I came with you here is because of the prospect of having an adventure!

"I don't know if you noticed but where I live, and how I live isn't very exciting. It's a small boring village with nothing to do! The only thing I've ever come close to as an adventure were the tales in books.

"What you call foolish running around is an adventure for me. I'm not harming anyone am I? I didn't disrespect their love and I didn't abandon them. They can visit and even join if they want. I'm sure I can visit to! And once the throne is back to its rightful owner, that can be easier!"

He listened just as I had, "But what about our mission? If we can't find the Sugar Plum Princess you won't be able to do any of that."

I put my hand on his cool wooden cheek, "That's why I'm counting on you! We haven't known each other that long and I really wish we could continue this journey together but it wasn't meant to be. I made my choice and I'm happy with it. But I want to know you are. It hurts me to see you angry with me."

He stared into my eyes. He nodded, "I understand. I don't know if I like it yet but I'll accept it, if it means that much to you."

My smile broadened, "I know I'm kind of asking you to be my knight in shining armor but I hope you know you gave me some of the greatest moments on this adventure."

Through the shock his look told me he didn't believe me. I could have kissed that face, "I know you have to go soon but… maybe you can stay… for the show!"

He gave me another skeptical look, "I don't know if we can. We still have to get to the sea of storms. And—"

"Please! You gave me some amazing moments. Now let me give you some."

That would have been a moment in some sort of chick flick were the two star cross lovers go in for a romantic, passionate kiss that drags out for a really long unnecessary time. It might even turn sexual depending on what movie you're watching.

I assure you we did tried, (Obviously not the sexual part) but before we could move too close together a light came on and we stayed apart.

"Very well. We'll stay but how long will that be?" He asked.

"Two days."

#*#*#*#*#

I lay in my bed writing, writing, writing, until my hand began to cramp, I rested a little, then wrote some more. I had just ended with the Nutcracker, Froyo and Éclair had gotten to the tree top community when my hand started to hurt.

I sighed. This was too much. Just too much. Writing was always my escape but I didn't like what I was writing. I wanted to change it and make it different. But I didn't want to do that. My head was being torn.

I wrote for another two hours. Then I just couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.