SM OWNS TWILIGHT

Chapter ten.

Why would Edward be visiting a shrink? I asked myself. To be honest I really had no idea. I couldn't even pretend that I had an idea as to why he was there. I mean, Edward is the epitome of perfection. I couldn't imagine anything at all being wrong with him. At the same time I felt sort of naive for thinking like that, I mean anyone could go see a therapist right? And honestly, I really don't know anything about his life. He could be schizophrenic for all I know. I guess it's not really fair of me to judge him, and make assumptions about his life.

But damn was I curious. I couldn't stop thinking about why the hell Edward would need counselling. I fished my ipod out of my pocket, and popped in my headphones. Hoping that music could steer my thoughts away from anything Edward. I let the calming sounds of Debussy surround me, and I sighed in contentment.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but what it seemed like minutes later Emmett pulled Charlie's police cruiser into the drive way. I quickly got out of the car and rushed upstairs. I threw my ipod on my bed. I pulled off my hoodie and jeans. Clad in my tank top and undergarments, I grabbed my bag of toiletries off my dresser. I snatched up my ipod and ipod jack before rushing into the bathroom. I locked the door, and sat the jack on the sink counter. I plugged in my ipod.

In the last year or so I have found great solace in music. It's amazing the way one single song can change my entire mood, completely taking me out of a depression. I had never realized how great of a distraction music could be, and how important it really is. For me music is everything - at least now anyways. I can't imagine how I ever lived life without it.

Jeremy Mckinnon's voice streamed through the air. I sighed in contentment.

"If you can wait till I get home then I swear to you that we can make this last. La la la. If you can wait till I get home. Then I swear come tomorrow this will all be in our past. Well it might be for the best."

I sung along with the melody and quickly stripped off my clothes. I turned on the water, and let the hot droplets relax me.

"And hey sweetie well I need you here tonight. And I know that you don't want to be leaving me. Yeah you want it but I can't help it. I just feel complete when you're by my side." I sang loudly, as I lathered up my hair. I sang along to the song in perfect harmony with the song. My voice hit every note and wasn't flat or sharp in the slightest.

The bathroom was steamy and it smelled off my favorite shampoo. I rinsed out my hair, and washed my body. I sniffed the body wash before I applied it to my loofah. I smiled. I was finally happy. For the first time in a long time I was actually genuinely happy. It felt nice. It was more invigorating then the cutting, because I was actually on the high of being happy. I didn't have to make 'artificial' happiness from cutting.

I sang along to every song that played. Completely happy and content. All of a sudden I heard a large crashing noise, and the sound of someone barging in to the bathroom. "OH YEAH! COLD WATER YEAH!" Emmett's loud screech bounced off the walls. Then I was abruptly cold. I looked up, and Emmett's hands were dumping a huge bucket of ice cold water on me.

I screamed. "EMMETT!"

Emmett's booming laugh echoed off the walls.

"I'LL SO GET YOU BACK!"

"Sure you will little sister," He called. I heard the bathroom door slam shut. I rinsed out the conditioner, and turned off the water. I rung out my hair, and wrapped a towel around my body. I grabbed my ipod and the jack before sprinting back to my room. Once I was in my room I dropped my towel.

I pulled an underwear set out of my drawer. I quickly pulled on the black lacy bra and matching thong. I pulled on a pair of Abercrombie and Fitch straight leg jeans, and a long sleeved black top. I brushed out my hair, and bent over at the waist as I ran handfuls of hair moose through my hair. I walked over to my mirror and I fluffed out my hair a bit. This was the first time I had worn my hair curly in years. I put on my normal make up, but instead of using an eye pencil for the top and bottom, I applied a thin line of liquid liner on the top, and I used purple eye shadow. I applied a few layers of mascara.

I didn't know where I was going but I knew I was going out. I figured I could call Jess or Angie. As if on cue my phone rang. The screen flashed Angie's name.

"Hey, Ang." I answered.

"Hey Bells, you rocked at practice today." Angie said.

I laughed. "Thanks, so what's up?"

"Did you want to hang out? Me Jess, Erick and everybody are going down to First Beach."

"Yeah! Totally."

"Cool. Me and my mom will pick you up in like 20 minutes."

"Sweet. Talk to you then,"

"M'kay bye." The line went dead. I snapped the phone shut. I ran out into the hallway and burst into Emmett's room. He jumped and cringed back. I suppressed a giggle.

"Relax, I was just coming to tell you that I'm going out."

Emmett un-tensed but then his face was clouded with concern. I rolled my eyes.

"Where are you going, and with who?"

I put all my weight on my left leg and placed my hands on my hips.

"Okay dad..." I murmured sarcastically. Emmett rolled his eyes.

"If you must know. I'm going to First Beach with Angie and some other people."

"Bella, can you blame me for worrying?" Emmett yelled.

I walked over to him and hugged him.

"I understand, I really do. But when you act like this is makes me want to relapse." I told him in gentle voice.

"I'm sorry, Jingle Bells." Emmett wrapped his arms around my waist and he lifted me off the ground. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward sitting in Emmett's computer chair. I froze as the tingly feelings came back. Edward waved, and smiled his crooked smile. Slowly I waved back at him, and turned to leave the room. I suddenly had trouble breathing, and my heart began to race at the thought of Edward Cullen being in my house. I suppressed the urge to giggle. What the hell? I thought to myself. Why is that every time I'm within a foot of Edward Cullen I react like a ten year old school girl?

I'll call when I'm about to come home," I called out to Emmett as I shut his door behind me.

I went back to my room, and slid on a pair of Sperry's and a black North Face jacket. I skipped down the stairs, and kissed Charlie on the cheek. "Dad I'm going out with Angela Webber."

"Um… okay. Call before you get home."

"Sure, sure." I replied. My phone buzzed with a text message from Angela telling me that she was outside.

"Ang and her mom are here, I'm gonna head out now." I told Charlie. He nodded once not taking his eyes off the baseball game playing on the televison. "Have a good time, don't stay out too late. This is still a school night."

"Okay dad, see ya!" I called as I rushed outside to meet Angela.

"Hey girlie," I greeted Angela as I slid into the back seat of her mother's SUV.

"Hey yourself," She said.

"Mom, this is Bella." Ang pointed to me.

"Bella this is my mom, Rachelle." Ang pointed to a small brunette woman with glasses. Rachelle smiled at me. "Hello Bella,"

"Hi," I said.

"It's nice to meet you," Angela's mom told me.

"Like wise,"

Minutes later we pulled up to a huge beach, surrounded by cliffs. The sun was just setting so the purple and pink reflected off the shimmering water. It was beautiful. "Bye girls. Have fun,"

"Bye mom," Angie said on her way out of the car.

"Bye, Mrs. Webber."

"Bella call me Rachelle,"

"Okay, well bye Rachelle." I said as I got out.

"Hey guys!" We both exclaimed when we reached the group. Angela rushed over to Ben and pulled him into a passionate kiss. I smiled, and turned to Jess.

"Hey, Jess."

"Hey, you were great at practice. I don't get what Lauren's problem is." She said.

"She's a real bitch,"

Jess laughed. "I know right?"

"So you do soccer and cheerleading? I thought they were both fall sports?" I asked.

"They are, but I do mostly winter cheerleading, and the competitions throughout the year. Soccer is the only fall sport I do."

I nodded. "Oh."

"You should try out for cheerleading!" Jess exclaimed.

"I'd rather not," I told her. Jess giggled.

"Suit yourself,"

She walked over to sit with Mike on a blanket. I smiled sadly as I looked over the couples. Angela was cuddling with Ben. She was between his legs, her back pressed against his chest. Jess had her head resting on Mike's shoulder while his arm was around her waist. I never really thought about it before, but I wanted to have someone to cuddle with. I wanted someone to be my best friend and my lover. I wanted a special someone.

I sat down on a blanket next to Erick. I hugged my knees to my chest. He leaned back on his hands and smiled at me.

"How are you?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I'm okay, how about yourself?"

"Yeah same."

"Emmett pulled one on me before I left, and I don't know how I'm gonna get him back." I told Erick in an attempt to make a conversation.

"What did he do?" He asked.

I told Erick about the shower incident, and he laughed whole heartedly. "Dude look at this!" Ben ran up to Erick. Erick got up and followed Ben.

"What was so funny?" Angie asked when she sat down next to me.

I told her about how Emmett dumped the bucket of cold water on me while I was in shower, and that I couldn't think of any ways I could get him back. I also told her about Edward, and the way I've been reacting to him.

"You so like him."

I shoved her playfully. "I don't like him. I barely know him, and he's kind of a douche from what I've heard."

"You might be developing a crush on him or something, I mean why else would he be giving you butterflies?" Butterflies? I thought to myself. Edward Cullen was giving me butterflies? I almost smiled. I had never experienced the feeling of 'butterflies' before. Usually with males I either experience feelings that are either beyond uncomfortable or nothing at all. If I'm being honest, I'd have to say I rather like that Edward Cullen gives me butterflies. It's a nice change, it's innocent. Gosh, when was the last time I had experienced something innocent? I couldn't even remember.

"I don't understand how I could have a crush on someone that I barely know," I told her. "I think I've talked to him like all of three times since I've been here."

Angela laughed lightly, and smiled up at me. "You don't have to know someone to have a crush on them, you probably just think he's cute or something."

"I guess."

"Haven't you ever had a crush on someone before?" I thought about Angela's question for a few moments. Had I ever had a crush on someone before? I honestly couldn't say. I don't think I have. Even before my past with Phil I never had a real interest in boys. I'm pretty sure I believed the whole "boys have cooties" thing until I was like eleven. And after Phil I really didin't have an interest in the opposite sex. For the longest time I couldn't even look at a boy. Sam is probably the only guy I had felt comfortable around for a few years. I can't even remember the last time I acknowledged the opposite sex at all.

Phil really fucked me up didn't he?

"No, I don't think so. I've never really been concerned with boys or dating." I said.

"Well I think you're developing a crush on Edward Cullen." Angela giggled. I raised an eye brow at her. "From the thing I've heard about Edward, I reckon that having a crush on Edward Cullen probably isn't a good thing." I laughed.

"You're right, it's probably not."

The song mentioned in this chapter is called If It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember.

-raybabiieex3