Cold Redemption-Chapter 9

Allan and Will

Rain, constant rain....Wet, miserable, cold...... But a warmth by his side, friendship, brotherhood.....Its good.....As it should be....."I don't think like you do....""Robin would want this for us....."Anxiety, worry, fear....we are too late....."...so ashamed...""...there was this woman, right...""....took the money...." "....sorry...really." "...not bein' funny....she's breathin'"

Jubilation, happiness, turns to anger "..Will said sorry...." ".....look at us....we are the poor...." Cold and dark, alone...

Sore....cold...frustration.....no warmth by his side.........disappeared.....where? replaced by another....cold...dark....powerful.....tempting ......Gisborne?

"....sorry...."

A grave, freshly dug and freshly filled....a woman, an embrace, a tear......a brother....angry......missing..... "...Allan I'm so-"....

He searches in the forest....he finds him as a heap in the ground....panic....fear....must get there........"Will...."
He turns him over but he is gone......

"....sorry..."

Gisborne! He stretches his arms and beckons, grinning.

"Allan! Wake up man – get inside!"

"Huh?"

He opened his eyes and stared in bewilderment at the gruff features of Little John. Flakes of snow had fallen on his hair and beard giving him a wizened look.

"Come on! Its snowing. You'll freeze to death out here."

"Will?"

John just shook his head, sending waves of panic through him as he jumped up and ran towards the barn that housed the sick.

"Please no...."

-o0o-

Earlier that day…

Allan had been just staring down at the motionless body of Will Scarlett after they brought him in to the barn. His mind was whirring with conflicting emotions. Some anger mixed in with his fear and worry over his friend. How dare he do something like this? Act like the savior trying to make up for what 'they' had done. Why had he not come to Allan, talked to him like he would have just a few weeks previously?

There was also a little jealousy within him. Jealousy at the fact that the others would see Will as the better man. Hadn't he been working to the point of near exhaustion too? Put his heart and soul into helping the ill of the area?

Only he had taken rest when Robin had told him too. He had eaten properly and kept his strength up. He hadn't taken off without saying a word to anyone of his whereabouts and endangering his own life in the process.

No. Allan doubted that the others would see it that way. They never did.

Yet the fact was that Will was now seriously ill and getting him well again was Allan's most heartfelt wish. No matter what his friendship was like with the carpenter right now they would always have that bond between them. One that had begun to be forged in a dark cell awaiting the noose all those months ago and would take more than this to break.

He was dragged out of his thoughts by John hauling him off to tell Robin what had happened. It all seemed a bit of a blur really. He had a vague memory of the usually stoically silent John telling a beaten and weary Robin about finding Will but all the while he could only see the image of the carpenter on the floor, face down in the forest. Ashen faced but burning up despite the frigid air…

"…did you find him Allan?" said Robins voice and making Allan jump from his thoughts.

"Allan?" said Robin sounding more concerned.

Allan blinked and focused his eyes on Robin who was staring at him. Concern etched on his face.

"Oh err…well the thing is…he has been busy. To be honest Robin you would be best seeing what he has been up to rather than me telling you." He replied, his thoughts still not fully on the situation.

So after cajoling Robin to follow him they had set off into the woods together. Following the same trail that he had trod not two hours previously they went mostly in silence. Both men not having the energy nor the spirit to keep up a conversation. Both of them consumed with their own fears for Will and the people of Nottingham.

It took much less time to reach the area that Will had been working on that it had when Allan had been virtually carrying the man. His shoulders still screamed at him that they had been overexerted and needed rest from that but there had been no way that he would leave Will and go for help. After he had seen the man convulse Allan had been glad of his decision.

Looking around he recognized that they were coming up on ridge before the ravine. He looked back to Robin and beckoned him on.

"It's just down here." He simply said and carried on but he heard Robin sigh slightly behind him. The man had been torn between seeing just what Will had been up to and staying behind to help more of the ill. Allan had only been able to persuade him to come by saying it would take less than an hour and getting John to promise to check on the people.

"Allan, we don't have time for this." Came Robin's hoarse and exhausted voice.

Allan knew that Robin would be thinking this. All good leaders wanted to make sure that their people were well taken care of. Hell- Robin would still be lording it up in Locksley Hall right now if he didn't care. But Allan also knew that Robin needed to see the camp Will had been building- even if it made him look bad.

The Allan a Dale of old was telling him to leave it. Turn back and forget about the place. 'What will it do for you? Nothin that's what!' came the mocking voice in his head. But over that came the voice of his conscience, sounding like Will Scarlet. 'Show him- he needs to see this."

The stronger voice won through.

"You have got to see this – trust me." He said looking directly into Robin's eyes and seeing the man acquiesce in silent agreement.

They carried on finally coming over the ridge to see the work area that Will had left when he had collapsed. An uneven pile of twigs and branches marked the spot where Allan had found him.

Even seeing this place for the second time Allan was astounded at what Will had achieved in such a short space of time. The strong frame of a permanent camp with a rough doorway and areas mapped out in charcoal over the frame where things were to be added. Will was more talented than he would ever give himself credit for.

He looked over to Robin who stared mouth agape at his surroundings.

"What is this place?" he asked incredulously throwing his arms out and waving them at their surroundings.

"Looks like Will has taken it upon himself to build us a camp, a permanent camp that we can use when all of this illness is over. Seems he has been coming here whenever you told him to get some rest…" said Allan trailing off at the end.

Robin shook his head in amazement and continued to look around taking everything in. He wondered over to a pile of worked logs that were propped against a tree and still showing the last traces of frost on them and ran his hand over them. They had been carefully shaped at each end. Rounded and carved so that they would interlock perfectly with one another like some pieces of a giant puzzle that only Will knew the solution to. Each one had a hole near the ends where pegs would slot in and hold the frame tight to support the weight and eventually be the backbone of the entire structure.

A structure that was like its creator. It would strive to do its best under harsh conditions and protect them when needed.

Allan found the silence too consuming. It pressed in on him and mingled with the chill in the air as it seeped into his bones. Surely snow was not too far off. By tomorrow this whole area would be covered in a white blanket as winter truly made its presence felt. He walked over to Robin and pointed to the pile of twigs and branches.

"I found him over there." He said "Face down and motionless, looked like he had been there for hours to me."

Robin spoke for the first time in minutes "You mean he did this all by himself?" he said quietly. His face was anguished and his expressive eyebrows all scrunched up. Clearly Robin was impressed but upset at the state that Will had gotten himself into.

"Looks that way." He replied shrugging his shoulders.

'Here it comes, here comes something that will make me look bad…I just know it!' said the little voice in his head that belonged to the old Allan.

Sure enough Robin looked over to him. His voice was not accusatory, it did not have a tone of disappointment to it- in fact Robin just seemed sad- but what he said still seemed as though the words had slapped Allan a Dale in the face.

"Why didn't you know about this Allan? You two used to be so close…what has happened Allan?"

He did not know what to say. All sorts of answers came to him. Angry comments, sarcastic retorts, heartfelt pleas. But none of them felt adequate enough so he said nothing.

The voice spoke to him again though. "You don't need this; they don't need you around anymore."
Robin broke through his dark thoughts. Unaware of the impact that his words had made on Allan.

"I have seen enough for now Allan. We shall have much to discuss when Will is better...let's get back to the barn." He said sadly already beginning to walk away.

Allan stared after him, his pale blue eyes fixed on his leaders back. Would things ever be the same again?

-o0o-

If Will Scarlett had been aware of his surroundings he would have been astonished to see his friends by his side, watching over him with love and concern. He would have smiled at the tender way that Djaq applied the cooling cloth to his head and neck, talking to him all the time, telling him that he will get better. He would have scoffed at John for his fatherly gruffness, clapping him on the back as they both acknowledged the soft centre within the huge man of strength. He would have rolled his eyes at Much's nervous chatter, as he tried in vain to cheer everyone up, only succeeding in depressing them more as their helplessness was laid out before them. He would have thanked Robin for his concern, amazed that he would even register as someone to be cared for amongst so many who were more deserving than he. And he would have stood beside and just behind his closest friend, saying nothing, just being there; a comforting presence and no more, wondering why on this occasion he could not find something witty or light hearted to say.

Will Scarlett, however, was not aware and lay in delirium, oblivious to all but vague shadows, half heard words and whispered fears. Death was calling and he was considering his answer.

So he did not see Djaq shake her head, her expressive eyes filled with worry and frustration that she could do no more than she had already done. Nor did he see Robin place his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

"He will fight it Djaq, he will win through!" he said, almost as if voicing the thought would make it come true.

"Of course he will!" added Much with a forced cheerfulness, desperately trying to cling onto the thread of hope that Robin had thrown across to them. "You know what he is like! He's like, well he's like those hunting dogs....."

Will Scarlett remained unaware as Much looked round the others, taking in their bemused glances. And he did not hear Little John's response.

"What are you going on about now? Hunting dogs?"

"He never gives up does he? Stubborn that one. He won't let something like a fever finish him off. No he's far too pig headed for that. I mean look at what he has just done – off building us a camp by himself."

"Much!" there was no mistaking the warning in John's voice, as he tried to stop him, casting a sideways look at Allan as he did so. There was not much that escaped Little John's notice, and he knew that Allan a Dale was suffering.

Will however did not. Their young friend remained oblivious to the real world and spoke only to demons that plagued him as he lay within a nightmarish fire. It burned him, and seemed to get hotter still, so much so that he thought that it would consume him body and soul. Outside the flames of the fire there was darkness, cool and enticing. He reached for it, but to get there he had to go through the flames.

"His fever is rising again!" they all jumped at the panic in Djaq's voice.

"What do we do?" asked Robin kneeling down beside the beautiful Saracen woman, his brow furrowed. "There must be a plan" he thought. "There is always a plan." But as they both looked at each other, they realised at the same time that this was desperate. Once again she shook her head.

"We could take him outside?" John offered, thinking that maybe it would cool him again. Eager to carry the man outside and surround him with the snow that had been falling steadily for a while he made to lift Will from his bed there and then. It was getting darker now and even colder than before but Djaq stopped him, holding his arm.

"No John, I believe that would not work this time. What you did before was good, and it saved his life, but the fever must run its course. It is up to him now."

"But there must be something..." Much began, knowing from bitter experience what the answer was. He looked between Djaq and Robin who continued to stare at each other, each looking to the other for a source of strength to carry on and see this through to the end. Much continued to plead with them.

"Djaq? Robin! We can't just sit here and wait for him to....."

But Much broke off, knowing that that was precisely what they were going to do. He found himself then looking down at the fevered form on the cot below him, and thinking about the gangly scruff of a lad that he knew when he was serf to then Master of Locksley so many years ago. It was a time when he followed his young master through thick and thin, just as he did now. Many a time he had chased the scrawny youth back to his Mother when he followed him and Robin on their many youthful adventures in the forest. Yet he never gave up and kept coming back.

"Don't give up Will" he muttered.

He jumped when Djaq placed a hand on his arm and looked into his features earnestly. He could see the mask of control that she placed over herself as she spoke to him, her need to stay strong, aloof, reserved the only barrier keeping her emotions from bubbling to the surface.

"If you want to say goodbye. Now is the time." She whispered the words, but they all heard them.

So Much then told them all of the times that he had chased Will Scarlett away when he was just a boy, watching in awe as Master Robin practiced his bow.

"My Master does not need you distracting him" he would shout as he shooed him off. But every day he would return and watch when he should have been doing his tasks for his father. But sometimes Robin would let him watch, and occasionally he let him shoot. He was good.

Robin smiled at the memory.

"He used to talk a lot" he said. "I remember that. He was always asking questions about shooting and how the bow was made. And he would tell us about what he had learned from his craft. He would talk about Luke and how he was too small to help. Not even Much could get a word in sometimes."

He bent down so that his head was close to Will and he whispered softly to him so that only Djaq who was ministering to him could hear.

"I am thinking that all of that changed when Jane died, and when you had to become the craftsman of the house. I am sorry my friend. You should never have had to suffer like that." Robin smoothed his hand over Will's forehead and nodded to him, then stood up, fingering the tag that hung around his neck. He then spoke louder so that all could hear.

"No matter what happens Will, you have left us a legacy and we will all of us see it to completion. But it will never be whole without you." With that he stepped back to allow John to speak.

John, being a man of few words, recognised the importance of the moment. Like Much he had been thinking back to the time when he first knew Will Scarlett. They had not met on the friendliest of terms, but soon a bond had formed between them. For John it had started when the young man from Locksley had given him news about his wife and his son, and from that first seed of friendship the trust and respect had grown. He knew that Will was well aware of how they felt about each other. He knew also that no words needed to be said that the others needed to hear.

"I will say my goodbyes when I need to and not before." He declared and he sat down on an adjacent cot. "I will wait."

Allan a Dale could not believe his eyes and ears. It was like he was no longer inhabiting his own body and he was watching the scene unfold as a spectator. Why was everyone talking like they were saying goodbye to him? Had Djaq just said that Will was going to die? Why had they stopped?

They were staring at him.

"Why are you all looking at me?"

"Allan, don't you want to say something?" Much asked him in surprise.

"What would you have me say?"

"I don't know! He's your friend isn't he?"

"You are all talking like he is going to die. He is not going to die. He is going to make it through this." He knew that he sounded desperate. His heart was talking while his head was trying to make him see the reality of the situation. But he was not ready to listen.

Djaq stood up and walked over to him, her features full of emotion.

She reached up and touched his cheek, just as he had done with her only a few days ago. He flinched at her touch and she pulled her hand away. She was trying to comfort him for the loss of a friend.......

"Allan – " she started

"No! This is not happening alright? I will not sit here and wait for him to die. Its wrong, just plain wrong!!"

And at that he turned and walked out through the doorway and into the snow.

-o0o-

Allan walked away. Slowly at first and brimming with emotion but with every step that he took his speed increased until he was sprinting as fast as he could move.

Away from the barn...away from the pain and suffering...away from Will and his last dying moments.

His heart felt as though it would burst forth from his chest as it pumped wildly trying to keep up with the demands he forced on his already exhausted body. He barely acknowledged the snow that was falling. More heavily now as the evening drew to a close and the full darkness of the night began to consume the trees around him.

He kept running. He needed to keep going to get as far away from them as possible. He couldn't bear to be around to see his best friend, his brother in arms die. Fevered and weak in a makeshift bed was not how he wanted to remember him.

No- to Allan a Dale. Will Scarlett would always be strong. Standing tall and proud, talking only when he deemed it necessary and after carefully considering the impact of every word. Yes. That is forever how he would think of him after...after he was gone.

Those thoughts thundered through his head as his body finally gave way to exhaustion and he slowed down to a stop, his chest heaving in and out trying to draw as much breath into his lungs as possible. Allan doubled over and rested his hands on his thighs finally seeing the snow on the ground. The thick flurry of flakes that swirled around him amongst the trees and the equipment that was neatly stacked against them settling and covering everything as though with a white sheet. A clean beginning.

Allan wished that the snow would cover him and give him a clean beginning. Anything would be better than what was happening now.

His legs had carried him to the camp that Will had been crafting. The last place that the carpenter has been able to use his exceptional skills in crafting them somewhere to rest. Somewhere permanent after months of moving constantly out of fear of being discovered.

Finally catching his breath he could see every exhaled lungful as it left his lips and misted in the air before him. It would be bitterly cold tonight. The first real night of winter that Nottingham had seen that year and it was going to be a harsh night.

-o0o-

He finally reached the darkness. It was cooler here, refreshing and he embraced it, taking in deep lungfuls of air. It was quiet too. The voices had gone, the visions and dreams fading to memory. Ghosts from his past and memories of his actions returning to haunt him, telling him that he deserved the hell that he was in melted into the darkness. Now they were all gone and the only sound around him was.....snoring?

He twisted and found that he could not move properly, something was weighing him down on one side. He was uncomfortable and needed to shift position.

He opened his eyes and squinted in the gloom trying to work out where he was. His confused brain cleared enough to realise that he was in the barn that had been set up for the sick people. Had he been ill? How long?

He tried to move again and still felt restricted on his right hand side. He looked down and saw a head of short black hair lying across his chest. He frowned as he tried to work out what was going on and for a moment a surge of panic ran through him as he thought that she too might be ill. But quickly he realised that she was merely sleeping, and the fear quickly dispelled to a warm satisfaction. He wanted to reach out and touch her hair, but did not fearing he might break the spell.

Instead he turned his head, looking for the source of the snoring. There was little doubt in his mind who it would be, and sure enough he spotted John in the cot next to his, lying on his back with his mouth wide open. Much was sitting on the floor beside him and had slumped over the foot of the makeshift bed, looking uncomfortably sound asleep.

His heart filled with relief and joy as he realised that they had been watching over him.

He looked the other way and locked eyes with Robin Hood. He did not sleep and was sitting against the wall of the barn watching over all of the people under his care. Robin smiled and nodded at him, saying nothing, allowing his eyes to do the talking for him.

"Welcome back Will, " they said.

He nodded in response and closed his eyes, feeling sleep wash over him. One last thought lingered as he drifted off to peaceful oblivion for the first time in days. Where was Allan?

-o0o-

Allan walked slowly over to part of the frame that Will had assembled and ran his hand down the wood. It felt smooth under his hand. Smooth from being handcrafted with love and care by Will. He looked around in wonder and just tried to take it all in. The work that Will had put into this place- even whilst it was still at the basic structural stage.

He could sit for hours and just watch Will work with wood. It had fascinated him. Such intense concentration and skilled movements. He remembered losing his tag in an ambush a few months back and asking Will for another. With only a small roll of his eyes and a murmured "not another one" he had grabbed an odd scrap of oak wood and set about making him another.

Allan had plunked himself down next to Will and rested his head in his hands which were propped up in front of him. He lost all sense of what was going on around him- even when Much had slammed a bowl of stew down before him moaning about him "not listening to a word I have been going on about! Typical!" and stomping off again.

He just watched as Will carved the tag down to the right size with the curved edges and then chipped away to add their emblem. The emblem that only he and his father could reproduce. The two most skilled carpenters in the county. Son learning his father's trade to perfection.

The trade that was about to be lost as Will breathed his last.

His legs gave way beneath him as he thought again of losing his friend. Grief mixed with remorse and guilt and flowed through his blood with every beat of his heart as he slid down against the frame of the camp. He should have been there to help him. He should have spoken to him after their fight.

Hell- their fight should never have happened in the first place!

A pressure was building up in his chest as he fought to control his emotions. It seemed to intensify with each breath and so Allan found himself breathing faster and faster to keep the feelings inside. To stop them from being released and consuming him.

The image of Will came into his mind. Him lying, sleek with his own sweat as his body feebly tried to cool itself under the onslaught of the terrible fever. Each breath seemingly taking the last of his energy stores. What had happened when he had walked out of the barn?

Was Will already dead?

The emotions overwhelmed him and the face that he had been trying to keep stoic crumpled. He began to shake violently and pulled his hands up to run through his hair as he now frantically sucked in air to lungs that felt as though they were constricting.

He could feel tears welling in his eyes but he did not want anyone who had followed to see or hear him so he quickly brought his sleeves up to his face to mop the wetness. As his breathing quickened Allan could feel a yell forming within him.

A yell of anguish that was all encompassing.

He stuffed his fist into his mouth to muffle the yell and it came out flattened but then he had to take another great big gulp of air and this let out a sound of pure despair which filled the forest.

Alone in the darkened forest Allan a Dale mourned Will Scarlett.