Chapter 11
They were on the road by one in the morning, which meant they would be in Stars Hollow before five, but that obviously didn't matter to Rory. She was wired. He couldn't tell if she was nervous or excited, maybe a little bit of both, either way she didn't stop moving the whole drive. She wouldn't stop talking, couldn't settle on a song for more than a minute and couldn't find a single book to hold her attention. Jess wasn't complaining though, he was just glad that she was happy- or at least she would be soon.
They pulled up in front of Lorelai's house around 4:30 in the morning, and Rory finally fell silent.
"Rory?" Jess put a hand on her knee.
"What if we made a mistake?" She asked quietly. "What if she doesn't want to see me? What if she hates me?"
"Rory, she doesn't hate you. She's your mom and she loves you. She's going to be thrilled to see you."
She sat staring at the door for a couple more minutes then nodded, took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping out of the car. Jess followed suit and took her hand, leading her up onto the porch.
"Do you want to ring the bell, or should I?" He asked, and Rory thought of how many years her mother had spent asking that question on the Gilmore's doorstep. She had never imagined someone would be asking her that question in front of her own house. She squeezed Jess' hand, trying to steal some courage from him, then reached forward and rang the bell. They waited for a few minutes, and when nobody came Jess knocked. There was muffled yelling from inside, and Rory felt another jolt of panic run through her. She turned and started to walk away, but Jess grabbed her and pulled her back.
"Jess-" she started to argue, but before she could say another word the door flew open.
"Do you have any idea what time it-" Luke started to yell, but stopped short when he saw her. "Rory?"
"Hi Luke." she waved nervously, chewing on her lip and standing a little bit behind Jess.
"Rory." He said her name again as if he couldn't believe she was there, like he thought it was all a dream.
"Who the hell is at the door?!" Lorelai yelled, stumbling downstairs. "Who the hell shows up at people's houses at 4:30 in the morning? We need our beauty sleep in this house! This is not an early riser househo-"
She stopped short when she reached the entryway, not believing what was in front of her.
Rory, her darling baby Rory... and Jess. Jess was of less concern to her at that moment, though. What mattered was that her daughter- who she hadn't spoken to in months- was standing on her porch.
"Rory," she gasped. "Rory." It was like she couldn't breath, like all the air had been sucked from her lungs.
Rory stared at the ground, even more terrified than she had been in the car.
Why is nobody saying anything? She thought desperately, reaching back and taking Jess's hand again.
"Hi, Mom," she finally squeaked out.
And then Lorelai was rushing forward, past Luke and onto the porch and pulling Rory into a hug.
"You're home!" She started to sob. "You're home, you're okay! Oh, Rory!"
And then Rory was crying too, sobbing about how sorry she was, while Jess and Luke stood back and watched. A few minutes in, Luke stepped forward and put a hand on Lorelai's shoulder.
"Why don't we take this inside?" He suggested.
"Yeah, yeah, okay." Lorelai nodded and wiped her eyes. "Let's go inside."
She wrapped an arm around Rory, who was still crying and lead her through the door, Jess following behind them.
"I'll go make some coffee," Luke offered.
"I'll give you a hand." Jess volunteered, following Luke into the kitchen.
"How did you get her to come home?" Luke asked once they were out of earshot.
"I didn't," Jess shook his head. "She told me what happened- all of it. From what she did with Dean, all the way to stealing a boat and dropping out of school. And then she was jumping up and panicking and saying that she had to go home, so we drove back here. She got here all by herself."
Luke nodded along, then sighed and dropped into a chair to wait for the coffee to brew.
"She was the closest thing I had to a daughter for a really long time," Luke sighed. "She's almost my step-daughter, but I never thought I'd be this relieved to see her home safe."
"She's gonna be okay," Jess promised. "She's here now, she has Lorelai. It's smooth sailing from here, compared to the few months at least... what do you mean was?"
"I have a daughter," Luke admitted.
"What?" Jess stared at him, utterly dumbfounded. Of all the bombs that had been dropped on him in the last two weeks, from Rory finally wanting to be with him to finding out she had stolen a boat and dropped out of Yale, this was the biggest.
"I have a daughter," Luke repeated. "She's twelve. She was looking for her father for a science fair project and I was the winner. Her name is April."
Jess could tell that this was still fresh, Luke kept phrasing everything as a question.
"Wow."
"Yeah," Luke nodded.
"What did Lorelai say?"
"I haven't told her yet," Luke admitted. "She's been so upset about everything with Rory, I didn't want to add to it."
"You are going to tell her, though, right?" Jess asked.
"Of course I'm going to tell her!"
"I'm just saying, you have a habit of not telling people important things. Remember how long it took you to admit you were in love with Lorelai?"
"This is different," Luke assured him. "We're engaged now. We don't keep things like this from each other... and you know what, this isn't the problem right now. Right now, we're focusing on the fact that Rory is home and everything can go back to normal."
"If you say so," Jess shrugged.
Luke got up and filled everybody's cups with coffee, then handed two to Jess and lead him into the living room. Rory and Lorelai were sitting on the couch, still crying and apologizing to each other. Jess handed Rory her coffee and sat down in a chair beside her, Luke following suit.
"God, I'm just so glad you're home!" Lorelai finally sighed, taking a sip of her coffee.
"Me too," Rory agreed. "I missed you."
"I missed you more," Lorelai assured her. "God, I have so much I have to tell you, but first you need to explain what the hoodlum is doing here."
Rory wiped her eyes and let out a small laugh.
"Jess came to visit me back in Hartford a couple weeks ago," Rory explained. "He called me out on... well, everything. I realized what I had become, what I had done- what Logan had convinced me was okay."
"Oh, Rory," Lorelai took her hand again.
"No, it was good. I wouldn't be sitting here if it weren't for Jess."
"And you guys are... together now?" Lorelai asked, fighting the urge to cringe.
"Yeah," Rory reached over and took his hand. She was going to continue, to assure her mother that this was right and perfect and that they were going to be good this time, but she was distracted when something small and furry came running into the room.
"Oh my God!" She screamed and pulled her feet off the floor. "What is that?!"
"That's Paul Anka," Lorelai beamed.
"What?"
"She got a dog," Luke elaborated.
"You let her get a dog!" Rory glared at him. "You banned us from getting pets when I was 12!"
"She just brought it home one day," Luke shrugged.
Paul Anka jumped onto the table and sat down, staring at her.
"Shoo, shoo!" Rory waved, trying to get him to jump down.
"What are you doing?" Lorelai demanded.
"He shouldn't be on the table."
"That's his favourite spot!" Lorelai gasped. "What are you gonna do next, tell him he can't drink out of my water glass?"
"I'm sorry," Rory stared at the dog still unsure what to make of the situation.
They sat quietly for a few minutes, then Luke got to his feet.
"Okay, I'm going to go to the diner and get us lots and lots of food, since there's absolutely nothing to eat in this house." He stopped in front of Rory and pulled her to her feet and into a hug.
"I'm really glad you're home," he told her.
"Thank you," she hugged him back. "I heard what you told Jess. Thank you."
She held on for a few more seconds, then sat back down. Jess went to follow him, but she reached over and grabbed him.
"Stay. Please?" She asked.
"Okay." He sat back down.
Once Luke was gone, Lorelai started to push.
"Okay, I know we just made up and I don't want to ruin anything, but..."
"I'm in love with him," Rory blurted out. "Mom, I'm in love with Jess, and he's in love with me and we were meant to be together. Just like you and Luke are meant to be together, and we've been dancing around it for years, always moving in different directions. We're finally in the same spot. We're finally good." She had tears in her eyes as she spoke, trying to convince her mom that what she was saying was true, begging her to understand.
"Without Jess, I wouldn't be here. I would never have left Logan, I would have become a society wife. I would have hated myself for the rest of my life. Jess saved me, and this time we're gonna be okay. This is the right time. We're going to make it this time."
Lorelai listened carefully while she spoke, her face not showing any emotion. When Rory finally finished, she turned and glared at Jess.
"Do you have anything to add?"
"I'm not going to screw it up this time," he promised. "I'm ready for this, for Rory. It's going to be like last time."
"Which 'last time' are we talking about?" Lorelai asked. "The last time you showed up and told her you loved her or the last time you dated?"
"It's not going to be like any of those times," Jess promised.
Something in his tone must have convinced her, because she nodded and let it go.
"So you've been with him for the last few weeks?" She asked.
"Yeah. I've been living with Jess in Philadelphia."
"Philadelphia?" Lorelai asked. "Last I heard you were in New York."
"I got a job with a publishing house in Philly," Jess explained.
"Grandpa called after you left. He said you had disappeared, packed up some of your stuff and left in the middle of the night, and then Mom disappeared and tried to buy a plane because she was so mad. And then your phone was disconnected."
"They wouldn't stop calling," Rory explained. "And Logan wouldn't stop calling. And I realized they can't be a part of my life. I can't let them be a part of my life," she bit back tears. "I screwed up so bad, and they didn't stop me. So I changed my number. When I left Grandma's I took everything I needed."
"She said you left a bunch of stuff behind," Lorelai pointed out.
"I left behind everything her and Grandpa bought me. Everything that tied me to them, to that house, to Logan. I don't need it anymore. The girl that lived in that house isn't me. She's the exact opposite of everything I ever wanted to be. So I left her behind, and I ran away with the person who knows me best in the world and tried to find myself again."
"Oh, Honey!" Lorelai pulled her into another hug and held her while she cried.
"I screwed up so much," she sobbed again. "I ruined everything and they didn't stop me. They helped me throw my life away, so I had to leave. I had to go."
"I know, I know, Baby." Lorelai rubbed her back, tears filling her eyes again. "I know. I get it. We never have to go back there again. You're gonna be okay now. Everything's gonna be okay."
"I'm going back to Yale," Rory choked out and Jess saw Lorelai let out a sigh of relief.
"Oh, Rory!" She beamed. "You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay."
She kept repeating it, like some sort of mantra for them to hold onto.
"You're gonna be okay."
"Grandma tried to buy a plane?" Rory suddenly asked, causing her mother to laugh and start explaining what had happened after she and Jess had run off.
By the time Luke got back with the food the crying had pretty much stopped, and Lorelai had pulled out a hat box full of things she had written down to tell her and was reading them out one by one. Half of them were complete gibberish, but that didn't seem to matter to either of them. By the time Lorelai had to get ready for work they had made it through all the notes in the box, finished all the food and had two more crying sessions.
"Come check out my new digs!" Lorelai instructed when she finally had to get ready, pulling Rory up the stairs with her.
"I'll just be in your room," Jess called after them.
"Okay," Rory laughed and followed her mother. "Holy crap!" she gasped, staring at the room that was now at the top of the stairs. "It's huge!"
"Wait until you see the bathroom," Lorelai beamed.
"Oh my God!" Rory swooned. "I want to live in here!"
"I know, right?!" Lorelai stared around the room happily, then focused on her daughter. "It's really good to have you home, kid."
"It's really good to be home." Rory smiled back, then stifled a yawn.
"Hey, you must be exhausted!" Lorelai suddenly realized. "You should go get some sleep."
"I'm fine." Rory waved her off, but couldn't keep dawn the next yawn.
"No, you're not," Lorelai scolded. "Go, get some sleep. You can meet me at the Inn for lunch."
"Fine," Rory huffed and gave Lorelai a hug.
"Sleep tight, babe." Lorelai kissed her forehead, then pushed her towards the door.