Disclaimer: Total Drama series doesn't belong to me but to Jennifer Perth and Tom McGill. I write for fun, not for money and blah, blah, blah ...

Summary: If you got here waiting for another supposedly romantic story with trashy humor and cheap sexually explicit scenes, please, don't even start reading. Thank you. Insert-sarcastic-remark-here, Noah. / Post-series.

Warning: English isn't my first language. It's Spanish. If you notice any grammatical error or something like that, please let me know. Thank you!

Cover by Ringo-Tensai. Thank you so much!

The other talk

One weekend per month, I used to visit my parents. Not because I wanted to, but because they wanted. I don't blame them for missing my joyful presence.

Actually, I used to go just to sleep in my old room, especially in my old bed. That is true love, and the rest is nonsense.

In this house lived my parents and my sister Mariah. They used to say they missed me, and that was nice to hear. But not every moment.

Elijah, Isaiah, Jeriah, Josiah, Jonah, Jeremiah and Zachariah and had their own families, their own homes, their own wives, their own children, their own jobs, their own debts and their own misery. Long story short, they had their own lives, away from mom and dad.

Mariah is just two year older than me, that is, she is 22 years. And she had already divorced, so she still lived with my parents. All forecasts indicated that this would be like that for a long while.

Arranged marriages in India were mandatory before, and were agreed since the birth of the future husband and wife.

Time has passed, and culture has advanced enough to recognize that it is stupid.

But not enough to recognize that not all of us want to get married.

One Saturday morning, I woke up thanks to someone persistently trying to get my attention. While my eyes were opened reluctantly, I wondered who the hell wanted to disturb so early.

It was my father.

He had a slightly nervous expression on his face, and smiled a little when he saw me give him a glare, as furious, as sleepy.

"Is it World War III already?"

"Not yet" he answered, more than I used to my morning humor. "But it is very important that you wake up now."

I grunted as I stretched my arms and yawned, straightening in bed. My father, sitting on the edge of it, looked at me with a small smile.

Mishka Blain had inherited me my hair color, but not his green eyes. All my siblings had his eyes but me. I love you too, life.

I returned his gaze, more asleep than awake, struggling to keep my eyes open.

My father cleared his throat solemnly, and I knew that whatever he was about to say wouldn't be good.

"Noah, you're a grown man now" he began, with the same small smile as I just arched an eyebrow. "Your mother and I are very proud of you. You are an outstanding student, have a stable job, a place to live..."

"For every word you say, a unicorn dies" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes and dropping another yawn. "I appreciate all that, but you couldn't you just say what you wanna say, please?"

"Sure, sure... your mother thinks you've reached the proper age, and she'll give you the talk."

"Dad, I know where babies come from."

"Not that talk... the other talk."

The other talk.

My face expression changed instantly when I understood the meaning of his words.

I am old enough, have a stable income and work... I am ideal for Indian arranged marriages process.

In case you didn't know, I'll illuminate these pages with Indian culture.

Currently, when a boy reaches the age where he has a job with steady income and is considered adult, a family member (preferably a woman) tries to find out if he's interested in getting married. The same applies to women, but this happens when they reach twenty years of age or their graduation.

Family can also wait for the boy or girl to express interest, but usually they are quite impatient and try to put it through your eyes at all costs.

My father told me this day would come, and I saw it coming, repeated over time with each of my brothers, and sister. One by one. Mercilessly.

"I don't want to get married."

My father grimaced and nodded once, but a moment he stood up only to sit a little closer to me.

"I know, but at least 'try'" he said, with a slightly pleading expression on his face. "Your mother is really excited, she wants this to work. After Mariah's situation..."

I shook my head, rolling my eyes.

Mariah, my divorced sister, remember? To my mother, that divorce was the greatest disgrace that she could bring to this family. So she hardly spoke to her, and if she did, it looked more like she was barking.

"It's not my fault that Mariah's marriage didn't work. It was the Illuminati's fault" I muttered, crossing my arms firmly. "I won't get married just to please mom, much less if I know it won't work and then she'll hate me for that."

"She'll only get a couple of candidates for you, you'll meet them, reject them kindly..."

"No."

"Noah, it's a small effort..."

"'No', which is Spanish for 'no'."

My father nodded, raising his hands up in surrender. And I really thought he was going to surrender, until I saw a smile appear on his face.

But not just any smile. His 'Don't mess with Mishka' smile.

"All right, all right" he muttered, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "But remember... you owe me."

"Do you mind explaining...?"

"I gave you permission to spend the summer at a five star resort when you were sixteen. Not my fault that you found our the truth later, honey."

I frowned slightly at that last comment, and the tone of it. It almost sounded like me! He was just teasing me.

"It's a matter of honor, Noah" he continued, patting my shoulder before I pushed him aside with my hand slightly. He chuckled softly. "Come on, son. For your mother."

I rolled my eyes again, snorting, but finally nodded resignedly. Maybe a little effort...

...ugh, the word 'effort' is stressful.

My father walked out of the room satisfied, winking conspiratorially before closing the door.

I grunted and went back to cover myself with my sheets, ready to recover some minutes of sleep, maybe half an hour...

"Noah, sweetie, come down for breakfast!"

...maybe not.

The voice of my mother forced me to drag my bare feet down the stairs, to peek at the kitchen door with all the enthusiasm that I could have at a Saturday morning.

"Good morning, sweetheart!" Yalitza Blain greeted me with an unusual 'Happy Birthday' spirit. "Come here, I prepared your favorite breakfast..."

I could hardly return her greeting with a whisper before she almost forced me to take a seat.

I rubbed my eyes, watching the plate in front of me.

Sandesh. Yes, I love sandesh, and I was long time since I last ate it. However, my mother's persistently sweet stare and my father's nervous attitude took away my appetite.

In case you were wondering, sandesh is an Indian sweet made with sugar and milk. Pretty simple, really.

"Good morning everyone" I could hear my older sister's voice before she came and sat down beside me. "Sandesh, yummy! What are we celebrating?"

"I don't know, I was just asking myself the same" I mumbled, pointing with my finger one portion of my breakfast. "I wonder why this day is special..."

"I'm glad you asked" cried my mother, taking the bait and releasing a cheerful laugh. "Although I would prefer that 'certain' people weren't here..."

"Yalitza..."

"No, Dad, it's okay" said Mariah, rising from her place with indifference. She patted my shoulder briefly. "Good luck, little one."

Her slightly mocking tone managed make me smile a bit and steal a grunt from mom, so I gave my sandesh dish to her, to which she quietly devoured it while walking away.

My mother snorted at my gesture and my sister's disregard, making me feel almost guilty. Almost.

I understood that, compared to my father, she was much more traditional. She had reluctantly agreed to move to Canada, and it took her a lot of work to adapt to life here. It still was difficult for her.

However, her hostile and inconsiderate behavior towards Mariah simply because her marriage - arranged, obviously- didn't work seemed unnecessary to me.

Therefore, almost.

"Well, now that we're confident..." began my mother, pulling me from my thoughts and getting my brow furrowed slightly. "Noah, honey, there's something that I have to tell you."

A brief look at my father said that I should keep quiet and just wait for it. He was sipping some coffee loudly while hiding behind his newspaper.

"You see, son, there comes a time in the life of every young Indian boy in which he becomes a man. That moment has come to you" my mother said, rising from her seat to get a little closer to me, smiling even more. "I want you to know that I am very proud of you, and there is nothing that would please me more than to see you form your own family with a young lady worthy of you."

I didn't answer right away. I was in complete silence, staring at her, blinking several times every so often.

Of course, in my mind I wondered if she really hoped I would get married at this age, tie myself to a person just to satisfy her wishes, which in turn are dictated by customs of a culture that do well appreciate, but I don't practice, but I'm just forced to turn all my negative thoughts towards the idea of a marriage into a simple...

"I'm ready, Mom."

A fucking lie, Saturn size.

"Really? Oh, Noah, this is fantastic! I'm so happy for you!" my mother's words filled my ears when she hugged me against her chest (and against my will), pulling away only to kiss my forehead. "I have to find a matchmaker, get you candidates and begin to visit them! We have to prepare you! Oh, I'll call your aunt!"

She immediately went to the phone embedded in the wall of the kitchen, quickly dialing a number and screaming with excitement.

"Talisha, you're not going to believe this! Guess who is getting married!" she shouted to the phone, and almost without waiting for an answer, she continued. "Yes, Noah! Just like his cousin...!"

The mention of my cousin made me roll my eyes with a grimace. Not that I didn't like the guy, but... he was 'too' excited with the idea of getting married. And his girlfriend, future wife as he proclaimed, didn't seem to share his enthusiasm.

My father cleared his throat loudly to get my attention, and when he did, he raised his thumb in approval, smiling.

I gave him a 'very friendly' gesture with my middle finger, which made him frown, but he said nothing, to avoid calling my mom's attention.

I left the kitchen quietly, before my mother could hug me again, and I intended to return to my room.

Passing through the living, Mariah giggled at me, finishing devouring the sandesh while watching television.

"So my brother is getting married..."

"Hold your excitement for the wedding day" I mumbled, ignoring her to start climbing the stairs. "February 30th, next year."

Mariah laughed then, and I just continued up the stairs, until finally getting into my room's comfort, throwing myself on the bed.

I wasn't hungry, I didn't want to move... I just wanted to stay there, quietly.

However, my right arm was stretched to reach the bedside table, and take my phone. I discovered that I had received a message while I was down there.

It was Nirvana.

'Date next Saturday? ;)'

I smiled a little, and almost immediately began to write on the virtual keyboard.

'You bring the movies, I bring the food.'

I didn't have to wait long to receive a positive answer, before she appeared 'Offline'.

I sighed heavily, still lying on my bed. Although I couldn't erase my little smile, I could feel that it slowly transformed into a grimace.

My mother would put her efforts to arrange appointments for me with the hope that one of them is her future daughter-in-law.

I would put my efforts to reject each and every one of them, to concentrate my attention on one person I thought was worthy of it.

And I was tired just thinking about it.

Life is a sick bitch.

Hello again!

Sorry if this chapter is too short, but I consider it as necessary. It's something like to explain a little what will happen in the next chapters.

Now, I'll reviews.

Acosta Perez Jose Ramiro: Thank you! Yeah, I know. She shouldn't play with the mafia.

Artemis Raven Courtney: Oh, yeah! Sure she will.

Ali6132: Thanks! Well, I like to call them Noahna, but I'm open to suggestions! By the way, yeah! You totally predicted it!

The Abysswalker: I know, I just had to get it out of my system lol. Well, I'm really glad that you liked it!

Dolly: Thanks for taking your time to R&B every chapter. And yeah, I think Max is just nuts.

I think that's all, plus I'm really tired. Take care, you're loved.

Read you soon!

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