Thanks at everyone reading and especially to kempokarate12 and dancelikeheya for reviewing! You totally made my day once again ;)
Disclaimer: All Glee related things = not mine.
The days seemed to get by faster and faster. Brittany and Dr. Carver alias Danny spend more and more time together. This seems to do Brittany good. Though she hasn't shown changes in her attitude yet her posture that was rather stiff before seemed to relax more and more. Her body language didn't scream retreat anymore. She seemed more open and Santana felt proud that she was getting better.
Santana started working more hours at the office. Brittany was doing better and Santana didn't need to watch out for her 24/7. And in her free time she would meet up with Danny anyway.
It didn't matter to Santana but after two weeks of these meetings Santana started to dislike them. She knew she shouldn't because Danny was in fact a psychologist she ordered to take care of Brittany. But Santana couldn't quiet shrug the feeling off that there was more to it than she would like. Brittany had her biggest breakthrough yet three days ago.
Brittany stormed into the apartment.
"Santana. I smiled!" Brittany shouted into the apartment. At the sound of the voice Santana jumped out of the bathroom and looking at Brittany.
"Like really smile smile?" she asked cautiously.
Brittany nodded. "Yep I didn't realize it until Danny pointed it out. He bought me ice-cream and we talked about dance and ducks and well all of a sudden he was taking a picture and hugging me like crazy. When I asked him he just showed me the picture and well I really was smiling."
Santana made her way over to Brittany and hugged her tightly.
"See Britt I knew you could do it. Now we just have to make sure that you smile more often." the Latina smiled softly at the blonde in front of her. It seemed to her like an eternity that she saw her smile the last time. She had to ask Danny for that picture.
Santana felt quiet down after she had processed everything. Brittany managed to smile but she wasn't anywhere near to be the person that made it possible for her.
It was always Danny. She felt so ashamed that she was jealous of Brittany's doctor. But then again the blonde didn't know about Danny being a psychologist.
Being jealous was one thing but Santana would never try to take Danny away from Britt seeing how good he was for her. Even if she were to fall for him. She knew that and it made her depressed. And fearful.
What if Brittany really fell in love with him?
Santana knew what she said to Brittany that night was true. That she would always be there for her and that nothing could stop her from loving the blonde. Though Santana was aware that if Brittany were to fall in love with someone else it would break her.
Realizing she was still at the office she tried to keep her head clear of such thoughts and just start working.
The clocked pointed at eight. It was late and almost everyone was out of the office. Santana decided to call it a night and headed home.
She was greeted by Brittany sitting on the living room couch with her cell in her hand texting and actually smiling. Again.
Santana more or less started running to an unsuspecting Brittany and crashed her with a hug. Brittany didn't see it coming and shrieked and flinched at Santana's touch. As soon as she realized it was Santana she relaxed and hugged the Latina back.
"What was that for? She asked. It seemed she missed her own smile.
Santana slipped out of the embrace to look Brittany in the eyes. Her eyes came back a little bit everyday. The day the shooting happened they were dull and gray and over the months and especially since the therapy with Danny they seemed to claim their shade of blue back a little bit everyday.
"You were smiling Britt. It just felt so good to see you smiling." Santana practically beamed and smiled what could only be described as a mega watt smile.
"How come I am always the last to realize that I smile?" Santana laughed at Brittany's comment.
"Well that's how things are Britt. Don' fret. Who are you texting to?" After her sudden flash of happiness she grew curious who the blonde was texting to.
"Just Danny." Brittany shrugged.
There it was again. Was it normal for a therapist to be so close to the patient? Santana couldn't help but think about this again. She knew she shouldn't but she always felt left out.
She didn't want Brittany to worry though and managed a "Should have guessed that." with a friendly smile out before going to bed claiming she was tired.
Santana was indeed tired. She had worked the whole day. She slid under the covers and just as she was about to fall asleep she felt the covers being lifted and a warm body snuggle into her.
She smiled and brought her arms around Brittany's waist to pull her closer and feel her warmth and sweet scent.
When she lay there with Brittany in her arms she knew she had to step down on her thoughts about Danny.
Because every night it was her Brittany snuggled up to. It was her who held Brittany the whole night. It was her keeping Brittany safe to sleep almost without nightmares.
She felt content with Brittany just laying by her and she knew that now she had to remind her of this every time she felt the urge to crack at least one of Danny's nuts.
Some more weeks passed and Brittany had been conscious for about two and a half months now. She met Danny a few weeks after she woke up so she knew him for almost two months. In these two months she made more progress every day. Santana knew they talked about stuff because Brittany seemed to feel a little lighter and though it wasn't often, the blonde smiled sometimes.
Lately the Latina felt more and more down that Brittany couldn't confide in her at all. She understood that it was easier to talk to Danny as he was the professional. But she had hoped for Brittany to start opening up to her too.
Every now and then when they lay in bed in each others arms Santana tried to get Brittany to talk to her but she would always refuse. It would come eventually down to "Sorry San but I'm really tired." or "I really don't want to talk right know" or her least favorite "We'll talk soon San. Just give me some more time.".
She wasn't a patient person and really tried for Brittany. Still the longer it went down the more of a toll it took on her. She noticed she got snappy and bitchy more than usual.
It didn't take long for Quinn to approach her at work.
"Okay Lopez spill it. What's wrong? I mean I talk to Britt almost everyday on the phone but since I don't have to come around as often we barely get a chance to talk. Oh and if you perhaps wonder how I noticed you were in a foul mood I just had to follow the trail of tears to your office left behind by people you made cry only today." She wasn't really mad at Santana for making people cry. She was disappointed that Santana didn't come to her when something was up. She thought that they had formed a tighter bond since Brittany's break down.
Santana sighed "I just had a couple of rough days. As you can see my workload isn't getting less. And well can't a person be just grumpy without one hell of a big reason behind it?" Santana was not in the mood to share her insecurities and jealousy with Quinn. She knew she was being childish and immature. She didn't need a lecture from Quinn.
"Well yeah but whether you like it or not I know you Santana and you are one of my best friends. Hell since I consider Britt my sister you really are my best friend. I can see when something is up. I thought that was clear at this point."
Santana felt bad. Quinn had been there for here 24/7 since the whole thing with Brittany started and now she was just brushing her off.
"Well you of all people should know that work can be a bitch and it's still hard seeing Britt at the rougher days. Although she is doing better she is far from normal. Some days it's just a little too much." Santana lied to make Quinn feel less excluded. Well she didn't really lie. Seeing Britt was still hard on her sometimes but she could deal with that. She just didn't want Quinn to feel bad since she had helped Santana so much this entire time.
Quinn's features softened at Santana's explanation at which Santana felt relieved.
"You know where to find me. I mean I'm HIBC here and have the best office and a really big sign on my door. Shouldn't be too hard to find me even for a stubborn blockhead like yourself." Santana smirked at Quinn's statement and just gave her a pointed look as she got out of Santana's little office, where just two people felt like sardines in a can.
While Santana was at work Brittany was out with Danny.
"So when do you intent to tell Santana?" This had been topic for a few days now. After her first break through Brittany came around soon to tell Danny her whole story.
Though she still refused to talk to Santana or anyone else about it or go get professional help.
"I don't know. Soon. I just need a little more time." Brittany always talked about time.
Danny felt he had to push the matter. Brittany was getting a little better but he knew for her to recover she had to tell Santana. And get help for herself. Not secret therapy like himself. Under cover he could only do little more for her.
"Brittany I know exactly what you are afraid of. Remember what you told me Santana told you? That she will always care for you? Always love you? She won't hate you for..." He was interrupted by Brittany, "Don't say it. Just don't." She took a deep breath. " I can't tell her that...yet. You of all people should understand that." She looked troubled.
"I do Britt. I really do trust me. But I think it would lift a huge weight off your shoulders and help you get even better. Please think about it." She just nodded and changed the topic again to avoid this conversation.
That night when she lay in Santana's arms she though again about what Danny told her. She had to open up. She knew if she started with the story she wouldn't be able to stop herself and break down. She didn't want that. However she didn't want to close off to Santana completely. She felt she owed her at least a little bit. To let her know that she shouldn't give up on her.
"San? You awake?" At hearing the blonde's voice Santana grumbled something that could have been a "Yes".
"You know when I was at the studio and all these terrible things happened and I thought I was going to die for sure?" Santana was fully awake now hanging on every word Brittany was willing to share with her.
"All I could think about was you." It was all Brittany could offer to the Latina. As Santana didn't react at first Brittany thought that maybe she had said something wrong.
That was until a warm soft hand cupped her cheek and Santana kissed her lovingly on the lips. Normally Santana would only kiss her on the head or the cheek. She was always afraid of rejection from Brittany as she never forgot how Brittany shoved her away when she kissed the blonde after she woke up. Santana felt Brittany tense at the contact at first as if her lips were poisonous. Santana panicked and wanted to pull away but just then Brittany grabbed her neck and kissed her back.
They shared chaste and soft kisses. Santana wanted Brittany to feel every once of love the Latina felt her every time their lips brushed against each other. It wasn't only that. It was Santana's silent promise to wait for Brittany for as long as she needed her to.
For Brittany who still couldn't quiet grasp her feelings for Santana every kiss seemed like an antidote to all the venom creeping though Brittany's body. Venom he left.
It just felt right.
A/N: I kind of wanted to explore a little bit of Santana on the matter. Review and let me know what you think and/ or if you have suggestions or stuff.