AN: Another introspective chapter. JJ is spiraling a bit and she has just been thrown on poor Reid's shoulders, since the rest of the team has headed out. The next chapter will cover family and coroner visits, but this one is only focused on JJ and Reid. He's going to get verbally pummeled a bit, so sorry in advance to the Reid fans. *DISCLAIMER* I do not own Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

Profiling with Reid first thing in the morning is a pleasure. Actually, scratch that, that's an understatement. It is an absolute party. I can't think of anything that I'd rather do than be stuck in the same room with Dr. Ramblesworth before I've even had my second cup of coffee. Oh, coffee. Clearly you are the only thing that is keeping me alive today.

Reid hands me a picture to pin up on the bulletin board. I look at it for a few seconds, then tack it up between two others. It is the third victim, Destiny Keane. She seems so familiar, but I just can't put my finger on it. It is probably nothing, anyway. There are plenty of attractive brunettes in the world. I shove it to the back of my mind. I have bigger fish to fry.

"Our Unsub is a classic sexual sadist," Reid babbles excitedly. He gets like this sometimes, his voice gets all fast and high-pitched. Insane what the kid already knew, really. Sometimes I would show interest, but I'm not in the mood today. He's still talking, using a bunch of words that come straight out of the college textbooks. Blah blah blah... He is starting to give me a headache.

"JJ?"

"What?" He caught me by surprise. He doesn't usually break off in the middle of one of his tangents unless someone silences him. Or maybe he was done and he asked me a question that I didn't answer in time. He's giving me that look. The concerned look. The one that Hotch, Rossi, and Emily have been giving me. As if they aren't bad enough, now boy wonder is on my case?

"Are you..."

"Yes, I'm listening," I interrupt. I'm trying to stay calm, but it really wouldn't be hard to strangle someone right now, and his neck is stick-like.

"That wasn't what I was going to ask," he says. The look of concern only intensifies. Oh great. I know what's coming next.

"Are you..."

"Yes, I'm fine," I shout. A little too quick, a little too loud. Ok, another understatement, it was definitely too loud. His eyes grow wide, but he keeps trying.

"JJ," he begins, but I don't let him get any further.

"No," I spit venomously, "I'm fine! C'mon, genius, I know you can understand that! Do I need to spell it out for you? F-I-N-E! Means ok or good! Got it?"

Reid simply nods his head. He looks completely shocked. I will regret hurting him like that later. I will feel bad and apologize to him. But for now, not killing him was good enough for me. He busies himself with the profile again, but I can't focus. I don't know how much longer I can hold them all off. They are bound to find out, only a matter of time. And then what?

I take a few deep breaths and sip my coffee. If they are going to find out, then they are going to find out. Doesn't mean that I have to make it easy on them by having another outburst. I take my time, building up the old walls and throwing all the emotion behind them. All the rage, the pain, the grief. I can't let it show, I can't let it out. I can't make the same mistake again. I calm myself, compartmentalize. Because that's what Jennifer Jareau does, that's what I do. Reid glances at me. I flash him a weak smile. Poor Spence, I'll have to make it up to him later. But for now, I have other things to worry about.

AN: Piled it on a little more than I thought I would, but I think this is about the right time for that. Everything is starting to build up on her, she is bound to breakdown a bit at times. Love it or hate it? Please let me know.