A/N: Thank you for all the alerts! Reviews are love. Thank you to Saga Svanhildr for being my beta. I am sad to see Lily and Fenris closing a chapter, but when one closes, another begins. We'll see, right? ;]
"Heavy in Your Arms"
Yesterday we were laughing
Today I'm left here asking
Where has all the time gone now
I'm left along somehow
Growing up and getting older
I don't want to believe it's over
-"Say Goodbye" by Skillet
The blue cracks in his skin gave way when he finally lost the inner battle. Lily's heart broke for her friend. "Anders," she choked out as she felt the heated tears roll down her cheeks. He looked like he wanted to say something, and for a moment the lines disappeared, but then the ground shook. Lily would have fallen if Fenris hadn't been there to catch her. She looked up at the blacked sky, the fire singing in the darkness. Lily knew all too well where the blast had come from. "No!" She cried. "You didn't!"
The lines were gone. "I'm sorry," Anders said.
She managed to hear him over the shouts that Meredith and Orsino had directed towards her brother. "Shut up!" Carver yelled. Both looked at him, shocked that he would speak to them in such a way. "I'm getting sick and tired of the two of you arguing like an old married couple! Really, what will people think?" Carver shook his head. "We can fix this."
Meredith sneered. "Don't bother, Champion," she snapped at him, her words laced with an acidic tone. "I know where your loyalties lie. After all, your sister is a mage."
"Don't threaten her," Carver's voice had taken a darker tone that Lily had never heard before. It was obvious where the two stood in each other's eyes. Meredith's chin jutted upwards.
"Is that your final answer?" She asked.
"Very final."
Meredith ordered an attack on the group; an attack that Anders didn't fight back against. Was it shame? Remorse? Lily didn't know what stopped him. She twirled her staff in the air before she rammed the sharp blade at the end into a Templar, knocking his helmet off. Her hand pressed against his face, burning it and he fell to the ground. Her friends fought around her. Were they fighting for what was right? She had never been an advocate of the Circle; she had never wanted to go. People liked to blame blood mages for things, but she had seen an equal amount of corrupted Templars.
She felt Fenris at her back and a brief smile spread across her features. She couldn't afford distractions. One by one the Templars fell at the group's hands, but the last one didn't go without a fight, ramming his sword into Carver's side. The Champion did not cry out in pain, only returned the favor, finishing the other off by cutting off his head. Carver fell to the ground and Lily rushed to his side.
"Hold still," she ordered her brother.
"I'm fine," he tried to swat her away but she would not listen. She healed his side to the best of her ability, but she wasn't as skilled as Anders was. "Try not to take any more swords to the side, brother."
Carver smirked a little at her. "I'll do my best, sister." She moved to the side and helped him to his feet as Orsino and Wynne approached them.
"I don't like this one bit," the older woman said. She turned her head and looked at Anders. "How could he…"
"Desperate measures," Lily replied.
"Surely you're not defending him!" Orsino snapped at her.
Carver held up a hand before anyone said anything else. "There's no time for this, Meredith's heading for the Circle as we speak."
The First Enchanter sighed and his shoulders slumped slightly. "You're right," he said. His elven features hardened. "I'll let you take care of your…friend. You would be a much better judge for his fate." He then left with Wynne.
Carver headed over to Anders, who spoke first, giving his reasons and knowing that he had to die. Lily watched as her brother pulled out his knife. "What do you all have to say?" He asked for their opinions.
"I think you should let him live. Give him a chance to make things right," Merrill replied.
"There is no justice in this." Aveline turned her head away so she wouldn't look at the two.
"Templar? Mage? It all gives me one shitty headache." Varric prepped Bianca for more battles to come.
"It was bold," Isabela chimed in, "stupid…but bold."
"If he wants death, give it to him," Fenris added.
"Don't kill him," Lily finally gave her say. She begged. She hoped that he wouldn't. Not after everything that Anders had helped them do. Sometimes the good did outweigh the bad.
Carver sheathed his knife. "My father wouldn't condone your actions, nor mine if I were to take your life," he said, "you will be left in Aveline's charge after the battle. You will save as many mages as you can because their fates are forever changed thanks to that spirit inside of you."
Anders accepted his fate.
"This isn't goodbye, Carver, don't make it seem like it is." Lily folded her arms in front of her body as her eyes narrowed at her brother. "Maker, you stupid boy, you better be taking me in there with you."
Carver let out a loud laugh. "Wouldn't have it any other way sister," he told her. "You do have to promise me one thing though."
"Anything."
"When this is over, go. Find somewhere safe, away from this mess, until I can get it all figured out," he said.
Her throat tightened and her eyes watered. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't cry. "I promise."
"I know you won't be alone," her brother said softly. "It's comforting to know that." She watched the muscles in his jaw twitch. It seemed that he was having trouble holding in his emotions as much as she was. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it quickly. With a small nod, she watched as he turned away from her, but they couldn't end it like that.
"Carver," she said lightly. The youngest Hawke paused and turned around. Lily gave him a small smile. "I wouldn't have changed anything."
He smiled back at her. "Neither would I."
Lily let him walk away that time as he went to Isabela. She turned slightly as the pirate queen threw her arms around Carver. She'd let them have a private moment. Well, as private as things were going to get. She looked up to see Fenris taking a step towards her.
"This is foolish." His voice was grim. If anyone would know, it would be him after everything he had seen in Tevinter. "Do you really think freedom for mages will work out so well?" Lily didn't want to argue. Not now. Not when there was a battle looming in front of them.
"No," she replied honestly. "Not for most. But there has to be a better way. I never knew the Tower while so many have. I never turned to blood magic while so many have. Is it fair of me to judge what they want when I already have it?" He didn't say anything. "Would you see me locked in a Tower for something that I never had a choice in?"
Fenris looked down. "No," he replied slowly. "Promise me one thing." What was it with men and their promises when faced with death? She felt the cold metal of his gauntlets against her skin as he cupped her cheek. "Don't die. I couldn't bear the thought of living without you."
Lily shook her head. "I don't make that promise unless you do."
Lily struggled under Meredith's grip as she used her to threaten Carver. She saw the tortured look on her brother's face. She closed her eyes and felt a heat take over her body. A spirit strike erupted from her and she used a telekinetic blast to push the crazy bitch back. She rolled over to the side in time for Carver to jump into action. Isabella appeared behind Meredith and rammed her daggers into her back as Carver pushed his greatsword through her armor. Fenris helped Lily to her feet as the other two pulled back and the Knight-Commander fell to the ground.
A piercing scream echoed through the courtyard of the Gallows. Meredith leaned back and her body seemed to turn to stone. Red light radiated from her until the screams finally stopped. The rest of their friends gathered around them as one of the Templars checked to see if Meredith was dead. Lily didn't think there was any coming back from the state the Knight-Commander was in. She looked up to see Carver staring ahead of her. She turned her head to see what he was looking at and was surprised to see the retreating Templars. Cullen nodded at them and turned away.
Wynne, Carver, Isabela, Anders, Aveline, Varric, Shale, and Merrill… they were all going to go their separate ways. No one knew when they were going to see each other again. If ever.
"Lily," she turned to see Anders standing there with Aveline next to him. He finally looked at peace. "Thank you."
She opened her mouth to say something but couldn't find the words. His features softened and the look that he gave her spoke volumes, but it came far too late. Her heart went out to him. What would he do? What would happen to him? He turned and walked away before she had a chance to say goodbye. The Captain of the Guard gave them one last nod before heading off with him. Aveline had much more to do.
"I guess this is goodbye," Merrill spoke up. "Ma serannas, my friends… until we meet again." She gave a small wave and turned to leave. Lily watched the Dalish woman disappear from sight. She wondered for how long Merrill had wanted to go and silently wished her the best.
Why did it have to end like this? It had started with all of them coming together and of course it had to end with all of them leaving for one reason or another. Lily prayed that Andraste would watch over them, no matter what they did. She glanced to Varric and the dwarf looked up at her.
"What are you looking at me for?" Varric said and then grinned. "Someone has to keep Junior in check while you're gone." Lily looked to see Carver and Isabela hugging. Relief on their faces; it was a common feeling among the group at the moment.
Lily extended her hand out to Fenris and the elf took it. "What will you do?" Lily asked Wynne and Shale, who were the last remaining among them.
"I'm going to become the First Enchanter here," Wynne replied, "the Veil is so thin here…someone has to help."
"I am where I am needed," Shale added.
Carver came up to Lily and the siblings hugged. "Remember your promise," he said. "Tell no one where you are except for me." She didn't want to go. She didn't want to leave him, but it was going to be for the best. If they wanted the city to remain in control, she couldn't be here, not as a mage, as much as it pained her to admit. She nodded as she pulled back away from him. Her heart was heavy and she finally let herself cry. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she felt like she was losing her family again. She wiped them away, furious that they had even fallen in the first place. She should have fought against the promise she made. She should have done a lot of things, but at that moment she could only do what she had agreed to.
"Goodbye, Carver."
For the first time in their lives, they would be miles, days, perhaps weeks apart from each other. It was disheartening for Lily, but it was for the best, she was sure. Her brother lifted up one hand in a goodbye wave and she left the boundaries of Kirkwall with Fenris by her side.
"Where will we go?" He asked.
"I have no idea."
A year had passed since they left Kirkwall. Lily and Fenris had made their way from the Free Marches to Ferelden. Queen Raina and King Alistair had welcomed them into their country as a favor to the Champion, as the king so plainly put it. Lily knew that it was because eventually they would call upon her brother's service and possibly theirs as well. There was a war brewing after all. It wasn't only the mages against the Templars. It wasn't the fact that the Templars had torn themselves away from the Chantry. Countries were warring with each other again. Tevinter was on the rise, wanting to take advantage of the Magus War. Even Orlais was trying to take over Ferelden again.
They never stayed in one place for long. Who could blame them? They first stayed in Highever as a guest to Teryn Fergus Cousland in his castle. The Teyrna Leliana had been a gracious host and Lily had been grateful, but when a group of rogue Templars was cast out of Highever by the Teryn for looking for her… She knew that it was time to go. They had been understanding and recommended they next seek out the Warden Commander, Neria, or head to Redcliffe. It seemed that allies were everything these days.
Lily had actually been to Recliffe once before. It was one of the places that the Hawke family had lived while hiding from the Templars. In reality, they had lived on the outskirts of the town, but they hadn't stayed long. During that time, they hadn't stayed anywhere long. Until Lothering. Redcliffe was nice, but different from what she had remembered. Lady Isolde had already welcomed her son Connor home, who had returned from Tevinter after hearing what happened in Kirkwall and what had been started, so she had been more than willing to welcome another mage on the run. Arl Eamon had passed away some time before they had arrived. This time they didn't stay long enough for the Templars to even think about showing.
Lily had longed to go back to Lothering, just to see it, just to see how her old home was holding up after the rebuilding, but it was the obvious place for her to go, so Fenris had made sure they didn't go back. Besides, the memories there…they would have been too much for her to relive. Fenris, being somewhat an expert on being on the run, even though he didn't remember that part of his life, hadn't minded moving around, but it was wearing down on her.
Isabela had caught wind of the Templars on Lily and Fenris's trail and arranged a place for them to stay in Alamar with old connections and friends. Things certainly weren't boring on the rocky island. Many Raiders recognized her to be the sister of the Champion of Kirkwall. With that title came respect or hatred. Lily and Fenris hadn't minded the fighting when the latter occurred.
They heard tales of what Carver had been doing while they were away. He made her promise to stay safe, which was sort of ironic seeing that she was in dangerous territory with some of the Raiders, but he also kept his end of trying to sort things out. He wouldn't tell her what happened to Anders. He hadn't heard from Merrill. Aveline still ran the City Guard while Varric handled everything else with Carver and Isabela. The city had been finally rebuilt after the battle between the mages and Templars. Wynne had stabilized the Veil somehow with the help of other mages who had come to the Circle there.
One day, the attacks on them became more frequent. Fenris wondered why it was dwarves coming after Lily rather than Templars. She had no idea. They had just gotten settled in their new home; she didn't want to leave again.
A message was delivered by an old crew member of Isabela's a few days after the last carta attack. It was a letter from Carver. Lily opened the parchment as Fenris moved ahead of her to sit on the rock ledge over looking the city below them. "What does it say?"
Sister,
All is well, if you want to believe it or not. Though the carta has been attacking the estate. I've been wondering what I did to piss them off. Varric is using his sources to find out, but something tells me that you've been getting the same courteous treatment. We're going to find out what they want, but you know I need you. Something tells me this involves the both of us some how.The city is safe, Cullen is Knight-Commander and aware of you coming to the city. Don't worry… With what I've done, you won't have Templars on your ass. You should thank me. I beg you to come as soon as possible, Lils.
-Carver
She wondered what kind of trouble her brother had gotten into. She smiled briefly as she stared down at the sloppy handwriting. Lily knew she wouldn't miss Alamar. She did want to be with her brother again. "Oh, you know, it's just Carver being demanding again."
Fenris let out a low laugh. "That's not what I meant." She knew.
"We're being summoned by my brother," she replied quietly.
"Do you think it wise to go back to Kirkwall?"
Fenris turned to look up at her. She could see his worry. She moved to sit down next to him and laced her fingers with his. She leaned in and their lips touched softly. Lily closed her eyes tightly as she debated about it. He needed her help as she had needed his before. She pulled back and her eyes fluttered open. There were plenty of things that came to mind that she could say to him but she spoke the first words that she had thought of.
"Think of it as a new adventure."
A/N: I kind of tied some of the last bit in with another story of mine. Thank you to all that have supported this story, it has meant so much to me!