Quick update! It's more a filler chapter as a preparation for what's ahead.

The chapter's song: Oceandust by Hands like houses.

Rachel brought Quinn straight to the bathroom. Usually, the brunette was in control and kept her coolness in a stressful situation, but what was in front of her was far from being regular.

Quinn sat on the toilet seat and held her chest because she was hyperventilating. She saw Rachel heading towards the door and stressed even more.

"Wh-Where A-A-Are you going?" Quinn's eyes were swollen from hours of crying and her face was red. She didn't want to be left alone, she needed Rachel to be there with her.

"To get my dads, someone needs to check.." She was surprised when Quinn raised to her feet and hit the door close. She ran to her side when Quinn's breathing was even worse than before.

"I'm here, I'm here; I'm not going anywhere." Rachel helped the blond back down and caressed her back. "Shush, you'll be fine. Take long, deep breaths and clear your head." She knew she had to do something fast to help Quinn to relax. In spite of her insecurity and fears, Rachel collected herself.

"I c-can't." Quinn's eyes scanned the room.

"You can; you're safe here and I'm right next to you."

"He's everywhere; he keeps sending her to me." Quinn felt like she was holding the end of a cliff and her hands got tired of the grip.

"Who are you talking about? Did someone hurt you?" Rachel feared of Quinn's state of mind and she knew the responsible thing was to wake her dads, but she didn't want to upset the girl more.

Rachel got that she wouldn't get the full story when the girl was still mentally in the moment; she needed to get her out of there and she knew how.

"Quinn, can you listen to me?" Rachel spoke slowly and when she saw Quinn's wide pupils looking at her she continued, "I think a warm shower would help you. What do you say I'll help you clean up and then we can go to lay in my bed?"

Quinn lowered her head; her clothes were stained in blood and her lower stomach and thighs were full of scars, furthermore she was extremely self conscious about her body.

"Don't worry; I'll just help you get undressed and go to get you some clothes." Rachel stood and reached her arm.

Quinn lifted her arms and Rachel pulled her shirt off. The blonde bit her lip and looked to the side; being exposed, especially after everything she did to her body, wasn't easy. She felt Rachel's eyes on her red, covered with blood, skin, but the brunet didn't say one thing.

After her pants were off, Rachel caressed her thighs. The shorter girl was actually happy that the wounds were superficial.

"Rach.." Quinn whispered; she stood in her underwear and bra and it wasn't comfortable for her at all.

"I'm sorry, I'll leave you.."

Quinn caught her hand before she opened the door, "When you get back.. Can you, like, stay with me?" Rachel's shower had curtains so it was safe.

Rachel nodded and went to grab something for Quinn to wear. In the meantime, Quinn washed her body from the dried blood.

Twenty minutes later the girls were in Rachel bed; both on their back, starting at the ceiling.

"Quinn.."

"I can't."

"You've progressed so much, don't go back now."

"I already did, I ruined everything." Quinn sighed.

"And here you are, trying to fix it. I guessed something happened that triggered it, can you tell me what?"

"No." Quinn breathed out.

"You said something about someone and that he keep sending her.." Rachel heard Quinn gasp, "I want to help, but I need you to help me understand."

"I can't talk about it." The darkness helped her from having another attack, it gave her a sense of security.

"Ugh, fine.." Rachel sighed, then decided to try another approach, "Can I ask something?"

"I'm not sure."

"What's going on with you and Santana?" Quinn's heart pounded; she couldn't get how others can see it on her, she wasn't obvious.. Right?

Quinn gulped; she wasn't sure if Rachel knew or if she was paranoid.

"W-what do you mean?"

"I just thought, that with everything going on, you'd go to her, but it seemed like you drifted apart. And Santana doesn't look happy that you spend time with us..."

"Ah well, we have differences about some things.." Quinn had to hold herself to not cry, "We kind of going on separate ways.."

"Does she know?"

"No, she has her own problems to deal with."

The girls remained silent, each in her own thoughts. To tell the truth, Quinn was tired of everything; Santana, her family, expectation. God. She didn't know what god's plan for her or what twisted game Santana was playing, she started to understand that her parents would never be satisfied with her.

That night was the low point; if it wasn't for Rachel, she'd have killed herself or, at least, end up in a hospital. She couldn't let it happen again, she thought, she couldn't let the darkness take over.

Maybe she had to hit rock bottom to make a change in her life. Whatever it was, Quinn knew she couldn't keep going down that hill. It was time for a change.

"Rach, you still up?"

"Yes."

"I have panic attacks; I only had a few, but I feel like I'm always on the verge of another. I think I know why they keep happening and what I can do to.." Quinn tried to find the right word, "Minimize them, but I'm not ready."

"I'll be here when you do." Rachel squeezed her hand, "I think you know it needs to stop so I'm counting on you. Just know I would never judge or say anything."

Were things really about to change?

She had no choice, her bag was at home and she had to go get it. Rachel waited in the car, while Quinn went inside her house to face her family.

Quinn tiptoed to her room, but of course they noticed her.

"Quinn! Where the hell have you been?!" Her father's deep voice stopped her heart.

The rest of the family sat at the table and ate breakfast, as usual. When she came in, her father immediately walked towards her, but her mother and sister stayed and talked amongst themselves.

"Answer me! Were you with a boy?! I didn't raise a slut..."

"Father, I only fall asleep at Rachel'sl. We did a project for school and it got late."

"Rachel?" He thought for a second, "I don't like you been there, her family isn't normal and I don't want them to infect you."

"Daddy," Quinn gathered the 'daddy's girl' powers she had; her dad was a difficult person to deal with, but as his little girl she had some [very small] power over him. "I know her family lives in a sin, but that's not her fault. I go over there to study and study only. I want to get good grades."

"You're too compassionate, my dear.." Russell shook his head, "This was the last time you go out without permission. We have rules to keep you safe and you must follow them."

"Yes, dad."

"I'm happy that you spend time with that boy Sam and concentrate on your study, instead of wasting your time with those filthy girls."

Russell nodded; she hoped he would let her go because she wasn't in the mood for a lecture.

"Now, go to school." He signed her with his hand.

"Frannie.."

"She has a ride, go on."

Quinn took her bag from her room and got back to the car.

"I have an amazing idea, but I'll tell you with the rest." Rachel was exited.

Quinn sighed, "You know I hate when you do this; tell me all or don't tell me anything."

"But I want you to be surprised!" Rachel whined

"I don't think you get the concept of 'surprise'" Quinn laughed.

They parked and walked to the school.

"If it includes singing in any form, just don't."

"Just so you know, I can enjoy other things." Rachel said with confidence and got a skeptic look from Quinn.

"Hey girls." Sam greeted them; he had a smile on his face, but his eyes told another story.

"Sam! I have an idea, but I need the whole club."

"That's awesome, Rach. Can I borrow Quinn while you find everyone?"

"Of course, meet you up in the chorus room." Rachel yelled as she ran to find the rest of the glee club.

"Sam.." Quinn didn't know what to say, she was extremely nervous.

"I'm glad to see that you're ok, I was worried." He hugged her.

Quinn felt awkward; he wanted to tell her something, she ran and ignored him and then he hugged her? What was she supposed to do?

"I'm sorry.."

"No, it's fine." Sam smiled and they walked to her locker.

"I know we're not together and maybe it's not my place." Here it is; Quinn took a deep breathes to prevent any anxiety reaction. "But I care about you so I'm just going to say it, try not to laugh.." Huh? Quinn was confused; why would she laugh when Sam will tell her that he know about her feelings?

"I Think Santana has feelings for you. There, I said it." Sam muttered.

At first, Quinn was sure she didn't hear right, then she couldn't believe he actually said it. She was relieved it wasn't what she thought, but that didn't make any sense! Santana? Had feelings for her? Quinn's hand was shaking as she held the looker's lock; her head was spinning from the over thinking.

"Y-you don't know what you're talking about." She tried to laugh it off, but her voice was stressed.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me, but I really think it's true."

"W-why?" They walked slowly to class. Quinn tried to play it cool, but she wasn't ready for it.

"I saw the way she looks at you; nothing is different, but her eyes speak for her. And she's jealous when we're together, she hates me with no apparent reason."

"Santana doesn't need a reason and she's possessive about what's hers, it doesn't mean anything." Quinn refused to believe; Sam's reasons had no base and Quinn knew something he didn't- Santana dated Brittany.

"You're not a property, she doesn't own you. Her possessiveness is beyond normal." Sam argued calmly.

It made Quinn think; he looked at their friendship from the outside, he was objective and maybe what looked to her as what normal friends do or Santana being herself was actually something totally different.

Santana did act strange since she and Sam started to hang out and with joining glee it only escalated. But each time Santana referred to her as her best friends.

Sam didn't know how Santana worked; maybe it was a bit crazier than usual, but that was the way she used to be. Quinn had to find an explanation to what Sam told her, even if she knew Santana's behavior was out of the ordinary.

"We started to go our separate ways and she's scared of losing me, that's all. You're over analyzing it."

"If you say so. I'll drop it for now."

They entered the chorus room side by side, "Don't consider becoming a detective or something like that, you're so bad at it."

They laughed, but Sam didn't let it pass, "You'll see I'm right and when I prove it to you, I'll make you admit it and say 'I told you so' with a big smile."

Quinn was so sure she was right that Sam's statement sounded ridiculous to her.

"Keep dreaming, Evens."

Quinn was set on her new start, on getting better and she decided she wouldn't let Santana ruin it for her. Every time she thought about the girl something bad happened, but not that time. She lost herself in a mess she created and it was time to make a change; maybe after she'd get her control back and make peace with herself, she'd be able to deal with Santana.

Speaking of Santana, when Quinn entered and took a seat in the room, the girl didn't even glance at her. With what happened the previous day, Quinn shouldn't have been surprised, but it was a little weird. A small part of her wanted the brunet to get up and fight over their friendship, but she was mostly thankful that she didn't. Nothing good would've came out of it. Quinn wasn't the only one who needed to take care of herself, Santana also had to check her latest actions and work on whatever issues she had.

"Listen up, guys, Rachel has something to say." Will spoke.

"I have an empty house tomorrow and we have some new people in the club, so I think we should throw a party to bond!"

"Oh Rachel, no.. No, no, no.." That was the last thing Quinn needed; a party with everyone, alcohol [because there wasn't a chance Puck wouldn't bring any] and social games. What made Rachel think it would do her good?

Quinn knew Rachel tried to do something nice and she didn't know how messy things were between Santana and her, so she couldn't blame her. Rachel was a great friend, that was sure, but Quinn was scared.

Everyone else was excited for the party, so excited that Will had to yell at them to be quiet because they were too busy making plans.

Quinn went to grab something to drink from the kitchen, while her mother prepared dinner.

"How was school?"

"Fine."

"I hope you're taking it seriously; you need to have good greats to get into a good college."

"I know, I'm serious." That was the 100th time Judy gave her that talk and she'd had enough, but she couldn't go because it's not polite. All she could've done was go with it until her mother was convinced that Quinn got everything and that she was humiliated enough.

"And that boy, Sam, he doesn't distract you or making you do things you're not suppose to, right?" Judy spoke with a patronizing tone.

"Not at all; he's a good student and we both believe in god, we would never do anything to disobey him." Quinn told her mother just what she wanted to hear.

Her mother nodded and Quinn thought it was the end of it, but she was wrong.

"I think you should watch what you eat more carefully.." Like her mother could go without saying something about her weight, "Men want to have a woman they can be proud of. I'm sure Sam would appreciate if you improve yourself, it's not like you can afford to eat as you do now."

It was funny; her mother thought she was doing her a favor, that she was helping her. Quinn heard those kind of things from an early age, no matter how hard she tried to be happy with how she looked and get rid of the obsession of being thin, it was stronger than her.

Her mother was way harder on her than on her sister, in her eyes Franny was the better one; she loved god and the church, she never disobeyed them or brought home people they didn't approve of and she did basically whatever they ever wanted.

Judy never was happy about Quinn, not even when she got straight A's and lost weight. Nothing was good enough for her.

When Quinn was younger she tried to make her happy, but with Santana and Brittany's help she saw that what was going on with her family wasn't right. As time went by, Quinn stopped trying so hard, but her mother's comment never hurt less.

She mumbled that she needed to go study and went back to her room. Quinn had to find something to occupy her mind so she won't do any further damage to herself.

She was determined and she wasn't about to let her mother break her spirit.

What Quinn didn't know is that, while she talked to Sam earlier, Rachel got into full 'best friend' mood.

Rachel was on her way to find her friends, when she saw Santana getting closer to Quinn and Sam; the latina had an angry look on her face, like she was ready to fight. Rachel wasn't about to let it happen; whatever Santana's problem was or the issues she and Quinn had, she couldn't let the her ruin the girl and her process.

"Santana." Rachel stood in front of her.

"Get lost, hobbit." Santana's eyes never left Quinn.

"You need to give her time." She kept a balanced tone, but it was assertive.

"I'm sorry?!" That definitely got the latinas' attention, she was fuming, "You have no right to tell me what to do or how to act with my best friend! You don't know anything about me or our friendship. You think just because she's hanging out with you that makes you her new best friend? Think again!" Santana's face was red from anger and Rachel was a little scared. A lot scared.

"That might be true, but I know a few things that make me believe you two need to take a break from each other." Giving up wasn't a part of Rachel's personality, "She's amazing, I can see why you care so much, but you're going to lose her if you keep pushing. Please, just give her time to breath, she needs time to be an individual and figure who she is and what she wants." Rachel clenched on her shirt; the emotions on Santana face changed fast and she feared that the girl might hit her.

Santana averted her eyes and looked in deep thought. Rachel's heart pounded fast; it could've gone very good or very bad and she couldn't let it go bad. For Quinn's sake. The sight of Quinn standing at her front door, her clothes soaked with blood and in a complete mess would never, ever happen again. Even if it meant facing the school's bitch.

"I'll try, but I won't let you take her." Santana sounded so small.

"I won't, I promise."

"Take care of her."

Rachel was amazed how you can care so deeply about someone that you can actually hurt them.

She used to question Santana's motives, but when she saw how vulnerable she was just by talking about Quinn, Rachel knew she had to make it right. With that in her mind, her first priority was Quinn.

Ready for a party? ;)

I finished writing the next chapter [it's just need editing] and I'm really nervous to see what you'd think!

'till next time.